A Life Without Fear
I associate the subject of fear with Halloween. Part of what makes this times of year so thrilling, is that each of us has an opportunity to confront our "fears" in a safe and fool-proof environment.
I am not a fan of haunted houses, only because they represent some of my worst fears: clowns, things that go "bump" in the night, elements of surprise and the ever-present, unknown.
However, some friends of mine are connisseurs of haunted houses so to speak. Last year I was suckered into going with them through some of the most challenging haunts Dallas has to offer. More than once, I thought my heart was going to stop. But in the end, I made it through, and once I saw daylight again, wanted to raise my fist to the heavens and shout triumphantly, "I did it!"
I thought because I had dodged the bullet last year, that this year I would be off the hook.
Oh no.
And so I find myself once again digging deep within my soul to find the courage to walk back into the "lions den". I don't know what I will face there, but know that with enough support and inner assurances that everything I see if fake, I can make it.
But I wonder what life would be like if fear wasn't an issue.
What if we weren't troubled by the unknown? What if the darkness held no surprises we weren't confident enough to face and overcome? How might our choices be different if we weren't afraid of the impending consequences?
I think about how many decisions I have made in my life out of fear. Too many. Fear of an unstable job market kept me at a job I didn't enjoy for many years when I was fresh out of college. Where might my life have taken me had I taken a risk and actively sought something else? I think of how many foods I have missed trying or meals I denied myself because of my fear of being fat. Fear of being alone kept me in a relationship that I knew was withering on the vine for years before I finally decided that being alone was better than making myself and someone else miserable. Fear of inadequacy has propelled me into accepting way too many "extra" tasks over the years in an effort to prove my "worth". Fear of failure has prevented me from trying new sports or activities for as long as I can remember. And on. And on. And on.
I wonder how many women would leave abusive situations if there was no fear that they, their children and pets would be taken care of?
I wonder how many women wouldn't seek out plastic surgery if they weren't afraid of what society thought of them?
I wonder how many people wouldn't be in financial distress if they weren't concerned with "keeping up with the Jones'". And on and on it goes.
I can't imagine a life without fear. I expect, most people can't.
So much of our media output is fear driven: toy recalls, adverse drug effects, criminal activity, contagions, an unstable real estate market, a rising unemployment rate, terrorism, etc.
It's no wonder there are more people on anti-depressants now than at any other time in recorded history!!
Fear serves a purpose. This innate sense alerts us to danger and acts as an internal regulator against poor or hasty judgments.
But if given a chance, fear can ruin our lives.
I cannot tell you how many times I have allowed fear to act as a barrier to my happiness. Had I been more courageous, I would have stepped out boldly in faith and seen that, in most cases, my fears were either unfounded, or much worse than the actual reality of the situation.
It is Halloween once again and I find myself confronting my fears. This time of the year represents a re-birth of sorts for me. I have the chance to re-evaluate my life and the decisions that I am making and the motivations behind them. If they are fear driven, then it is up to me to step back and assess how accurate and impactful that fear may be.
I never want to reach a point in my life where I have regrets because of the road not taken. If finances, health or opportunity prevents me from taking that road, that is a different story. But to refuse to step out just because I don't know where the road may lead something I just can't accept.
Now, if I could only get past the whole clown thing...
I am not a fan of haunted houses, only because they represent some of my worst fears: clowns, things that go "bump" in the night, elements of surprise and the ever-present, unknown.
However, some friends of mine are connisseurs of haunted houses so to speak. Last year I was suckered into going with them through some of the most challenging haunts Dallas has to offer. More than once, I thought my heart was going to stop. But in the end, I made it through, and once I saw daylight again, wanted to raise my fist to the heavens and shout triumphantly, "I did it!"
I thought because I had dodged the bullet last year, that this year I would be off the hook.
Oh no.
And so I find myself once again digging deep within my soul to find the courage to walk back into the "lions den". I don't know what I will face there, but know that with enough support and inner assurances that everything I see if fake, I can make it.
But I wonder what life would be like if fear wasn't an issue.
What if we weren't troubled by the unknown? What if the darkness held no surprises we weren't confident enough to face and overcome? How might our choices be different if we weren't afraid of the impending consequences?
I think about how many decisions I have made in my life out of fear. Too many. Fear of an unstable job market kept me at a job I didn't enjoy for many years when I was fresh out of college. Where might my life have taken me had I taken a risk and actively sought something else? I think of how many foods I have missed trying or meals I denied myself because of my fear of being fat. Fear of being alone kept me in a relationship that I knew was withering on the vine for years before I finally decided that being alone was better than making myself and someone else miserable. Fear of inadequacy has propelled me into accepting way too many "extra" tasks over the years in an effort to prove my "worth". Fear of failure has prevented me from trying new sports or activities for as long as I can remember. And on. And on. And on.
I wonder how many women would leave abusive situations if there was no fear that they, their children and pets would be taken care of?
I wonder how many women wouldn't seek out plastic surgery if they weren't afraid of what society thought of them?
I wonder how many people wouldn't be in financial distress if they weren't concerned with "keeping up with the Jones'". And on and on it goes.
I can't imagine a life without fear. I expect, most people can't.
So much of our media output is fear driven: toy recalls, adverse drug effects, criminal activity, contagions, an unstable real estate market, a rising unemployment rate, terrorism, etc.
It's no wonder there are more people on anti-depressants now than at any other time in recorded history!!
Fear serves a purpose. This innate sense alerts us to danger and acts as an internal regulator against poor or hasty judgments.
But if given a chance, fear can ruin our lives.
I cannot tell you how many times I have allowed fear to act as a barrier to my happiness. Had I been more courageous, I would have stepped out boldly in faith and seen that, in most cases, my fears were either unfounded, or much worse than the actual reality of the situation.
It is Halloween once again and I find myself confronting my fears. This time of the year represents a re-birth of sorts for me. I have the chance to re-evaluate my life and the decisions that I am making and the motivations behind them. If they are fear driven, then it is up to me to step back and assess how accurate and impactful that fear may be.
I never want to reach a point in my life where I have regrets because of the road not taken. If finances, health or opportunity prevents me from taking that road, that is a different story. But to refuse to step out just because I don't know where the road may lead something I just can't accept.
Now, if I could only get past the whole clown thing...