okay, so here's the story.
Ugh, relationships. Guess what? Mr. Big & and I are talking again. Kiddie Pool is out of the picture. And I'm talking to someone else, too.
.....
Yeah. Remember? Big was kind of an ass, and then I made my peace with him and after that, he wasn't an ass. We're friends on Facebook. He recently split up with his long-time girlfriend. I approached him, because I knew(through Facebook) that they were having issues. I've never met the girl, so I can't pass judgment on what I think went wrong with their relationship, but, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Run, Jenny. Run as fast as your adorable little feet will carry you, my darling, RUN!
It was so weird. He was like "Tell me what you don't like about me." Um, alphabetically? No, really. I'm not going to sit there & tell someone what I don't like about them. I think that's rude. So I basically sugarcoated it.
I'll admit it. I wanted a relationship with him. Hey! I was, like, 19 and he was going through some shit and then I was 21 and I was going through some shit and I didn't know any better! If I could go back, I'd slap my 19 year-old self in the head and be like "This is Mr. Big. MR. BIG. No. You don't want to go there. Ever. Ever. Ever. Get in, do what you think you should do and then get out." But I didn't, and I paid for it.
But then again, I wonder what would've happened to Big if I HADN'T been there. His ex(not his current one) messed him up pretty bad. And now, here he is again. But I refuse to get sucked into his crazy, because THE SAME THING IS GOING TO HAPPEN. I believe it will. So I'm kind of dancing on the edge of the tornado, hoping that I don't get sucked in. I mean, I want to save him from the tornado here, not get pulled in myself. And I hope it turns out okay for him, I honestly do. I hope he meets someone and it works out and doesn't end badly.
So why does part of me want to see what happens?
*ducks from flying shoes*
YOU GUYS! Ouch! *rubs head* Do I want to go "there" again? No. Never. Because if I do, what have the past few years been all about? What have I learned?
So do I want to fall into the same physical murky routine with Big? No. But I want to get to know him again. Take all the sex, all the "bad history" out of the picture, start over. Maybe if we got to know each other, we'd have fun together. Maybe we'd hate each other. But I was kind of a major bitch to him(here, not to his face) and I don't know if he's over that.
I'm over it, though. Really. I don't care what happened in the past.
Anyway. There's also Ryan. Ohhhh, Ryan. Cute guy from high school, apparently, he's "had a thing for me since high school". Um, I'm sorry. 11 years? Nut up, buddy. And I felt kind of stupid because I HAD NO IDEA. But we've hung out a couple times and he's cute, and smart, and fun. What is going to happen? I don't know. With Mr. Big, I felt like I had read the end of the book, but with this guy, I don't know the ending yet. It will probably be bad, and painful, and humiliating, but whatever. As long as I learn something and don't get sucked into the crazy, I think I'll be okay. <3
.....
Yeah. Remember? Big was kind of an ass, and then I made my peace with him and after that, he wasn't an ass. We're friends on Facebook. He recently split up with his long-time girlfriend. I approached him, because I knew(through Facebook) that they were having issues. I've never met the girl, so I can't pass judgment on what I think went wrong with their relationship, but, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Run, Jenny. Run as fast as your adorable little feet will carry you, my darling, RUN!
It was so weird. He was like "Tell me what you don't like about me." Um, alphabetically? No, really. I'm not going to sit there & tell someone what I don't like about them. I think that's rude. So I basically sugarcoated it.
I'll admit it. I wanted a relationship with him. Hey! I was, like, 19 and he was going through some shit and then I was 21 and I was going through some shit and I didn't know any better! If I could go back, I'd slap my 19 year-old self in the head and be like "This is Mr. Big. MR. BIG. No. You don't want to go there. Ever. Ever. Ever. Get in, do what you think you should do and then get out." But I didn't, and I paid for it.
But then again, I wonder what would've happened to Big if I HADN'T been there. His ex(not his current one) messed him up pretty bad. And now, here he is again. But I refuse to get sucked into his crazy, because THE SAME THING IS GOING TO HAPPEN. I believe it will. So I'm kind of dancing on the edge of the tornado, hoping that I don't get sucked in. I mean, I want to save him from the tornado here, not get pulled in myself. And I hope it turns out okay for him, I honestly do. I hope he meets someone and it works out and doesn't end badly.
So why does part of me want to see what happens?
*ducks from flying shoes*
YOU GUYS! Ouch! *rubs head* Do I want to go "there" again? No. Never. Because if I do, what have the past few years been all about? What have I learned?
So do I want to fall into the same physical murky routine with Big? No. But I want to get to know him again. Take all the sex, all the "bad history" out of the picture, start over. Maybe if we got to know each other, we'd have fun together. Maybe we'd hate each other. But I was kind of a major bitch to him(here, not to his face) and I don't know if he's over that.
I'm over it, though. Really. I don't care what happened in the past.
Anyway. There's also Ryan. Ohhhh, Ryan. Cute guy from high school, apparently, he's "had a thing for me since high school". Um, I'm sorry. 11 years? Nut up, buddy. And I felt kind of stupid because I HAD NO IDEA. But we've hung out a couple times and he's cute, and smart, and fun. What is going to happen? I don't know. With Mr. Big, I felt like I had read the end of the book, but with this guy, I don't know the ending yet. It will probably be bad, and painful, and humiliating, but whatever. As long as I learn something and don't get sucked into the crazy, I think I'll be okay. <3