In which Ed fires...
Ed dropped his badge and gun on Van Buren's desk without meeting her eye. He turned to go, but she rounded her desk and went after him.
“Ed.”
“Yeah?” He turned to her, his eyes to the floor.
“It's not forever.”
“Yeah..” he nodded and glanced up at her. “I know.”
“If you want to talk-”
“Nah.” He shook his head and pulled her office door open then let himself out. He kept his eyes down as he crossed the squad room, not wanting to see anyone looking at him. He stopped at his desk and yanked the top drawer open. He grabbed his keys and a few other things before closing it again.
Lilly was at his side quickly. He noticed her even before she spoke. The scent of her shampoo and laundry soap that he was used to breathing in as he slept and when he woke up. The way the air seemed to change when she was near him. He knew it all.
“Ed,” she said softly.
“Not now,” he whispered, giving the barest shake of his head. He couldn't take discussing it then, not even with her. Especially not with her.
“Let me walk you out.”
“I'm fine.” He picked up his coat and shrugged into it then started for the doors. He didn't look over his shoulder once.
”Freeze!” Ed pointed his gun to the man across from him. “Put it down, man.”
“I'm not going to jail.”
“Put the gun down,” Ed said through gritted teeth.
“I was saving them. You don't understand, I had to save them. I sent them to God. I sent them home.” The man backed closer to the wall with his own pistol trained back at Ed.
“You think you're some kind of savior?” Ed's jaw was tightening as was his grip on his gun. He could hear his radio blaring as back up tried to catch up, and he knew Lilly wasn't far behind him. He could feel his hands trembling in the hold as he got angrier. “They. Were. Kids.”
“They were perfect,” the man nodded. His face was breaking, as was his composure. The last bit of sanity he had was fleeing. “They were sweet, and kind, and they deserved to be in Heaven. This is no place for children. It's a dirty, evil world.”
“That isn't your choice to make!”
“Green!” Lilly was coming up the hallway, but Ed could hardly hear her.
“It's a dirty world,” he said again, softly. He tipped his gun, moving it to his temple.
“No! Don't-” Ed started to move forward, but he caught the flash of the man's finger moving for the trigger. Without losing a second, Ed shot.
Ed didn't go home. He walked for a long time, not thinking a bit about the day behind himself, and just enjoying the city around him. He did love living in the city.
He passed different street corners, diners, shops; all reminding him of the partners he'd had in the past. Lennie, Joe, and Nina. They had all been good cops.
What would they think of him now?
His phone had started ringing almost the moment he left work, and he knew it was Lilly, but he turned it off.
He stopped at one of the diners he and Lennie had gone to time and again over the years and settled in. Ordered himself a coffee, then some eggs...and he just sat. Watching people go by. Watching the world pass the window. He watched the sun fall behind the tall buildings as the city plunged into as much darkness as it could manage.
Eventually, he paid for his bill and got up heading out the door. He didn't go home, but instead made his way to her apartment. He trudged up the stairs and down the hall then leaned against her door as he knocked.
It took a moment before she opened it, just gazing up at him. He still couldn't even look her in the eye. He didn't want to see shame or disappointment, or even her feeling sorry for him.
She sighed and tugged his jacket to pull him inside then shut the door behind him. He went with and said nothing. Her hands moved up his chest and under his coat, pushing it off his shoulders and down his arms. She draped it across a chair then moved back to him and started loosening his tie. He just let her. When she got the tie free she left it with the coat and took his hands, gently pulling him back in the direction of her bedroom.
He followed. Quietly.
Once there she helped him strip down some more and pulled the sheets back for him. As he crawled in she turned out the lights then got in beside him. They lay facing each other, but he had his eyes closed already.
Her arm wrapped around him and she curled up close, pressing a kiss to his jaw. He took her in his arms and held onto her tightly. She leaned into him, pressing her lips against his cheek and then neck. He kept his eyes closed and buried his face in her hair.
“I was tryin' to do the right thing,” he said in a weak, shaky whisper.
“I know,” she murmured.
“Ed.”
“Yeah?” He turned to her, his eyes to the floor.
“It's not forever.”
“Yeah..” he nodded and glanced up at her. “I know.”
“If you want to talk-”
“Nah.” He shook his head and pulled her office door open then let himself out. He kept his eyes down as he crossed the squad room, not wanting to see anyone looking at him. He stopped at his desk and yanked the top drawer open. He grabbed his keys and a few other things before closing it again.
Lilly was at his side quickly. He noticed her even before she spoke. The scent of her shampoo and laundry soap that he was used to breathing in as he slept and when he woke up. The way the air seemed to change when she was near him. He knew it all.
“Ed,” she said softly.
“Not now,” he whispered, giving the barest shake of his head. He couldn't take discussing it then, not even with her. Especially not with her.
“Let me walk you out.”
“I'm fine.” He picked up his coat and shrugged into it then started for the doors. He didn't look over his shoulder once.
”Freeze!” Ed pointed his gun to the man across from him. “Put it down, man.”
“I'm not going to jail.”
“Put the gun down,” Ed said through gritted teeth.
“I was saving them. You don't understand, I had to save them. I sent them to God. I sent them home.” The man backed closer to the wall with his own pistol trained back at Ed.
“You think you're some kind of savior?” Ed's jaw was tightening as was his grip on his gun. He could hear his radio blaring as back up tried to catch up, and he knew Lilly wasn't far behind him. He could feel his hands trembling in the hold as he got angrier. “They. Were. Kids.”
“They were perfect,” the man nodded. His face was breaking, as was his composure. The last bit of sanity he had was fleeing. “They were sweet, and kind, and they deserved to be in Heaven. This is no place for children. It's a dirty, evil world.”
“That isn't your choice to make!”
“Green!” Lilly was coming up the hallway, but Ed could hardly hear her.
“It's a dirty world,” he said again, softly. He tipped his gun, moving it to his temple.
“No! Don't-” Ed started to move forward, but he caught the flash of the man's finger moving for the trigger. Without losing a second, Ed shot.
Ed didn't go home. He walked for a long time, not thinking a bit about the day behind himself, and just enjoying the city around him. He did love living in the city.
He passed different street corners, diners, shops; all reminding him of the partners he'd had in the past. Lennie, Joe, and Nina. They had all been good cops.
What would they think of him now?
His phone had started ringing almost the moment he left work, and he knew it was Lilly, but he turned it off.
He stopped at one of the diners he and Lennie had gone to time and again over the years and settled in. Ordered himself a coffee, then some eggs...and he just sat. Watching people go by. Watching the world pass the window. He watched the sun fall behind the tall buildings as the city plunged into as much darkness as it could manage.
Eventually, he paid for his bill and got up heading out the door. He didn't go home, but instead made his way to her apartment. He trudged up the stairs and down the hall then leaned against her door as he knocked.
It took a moment before she opened it, just gazing up at him. He still couldn't even look her in the eye. He didn't want to see shame or disappointment, or even her feeling sorry for him.
She sighed and tugged his jacket to pull him inside then shut the door behind him. He went with and said nothing. Her hands moved up his chest and under his coat, pushing it off his shoulders and down his arms. She draped it across a chair then moved back to him and started loosening his tie. He just let her. When she got the tie free she left it with the coat and took his hands, gently pulling him back in the direction of her bedroom.
He followed. Quietly.
Once there she helped him strip down some more and pulled the sheets back for him. As he crawled in she turned out the lights then got in beside him. They lay facing each other, but he had his eyes closed already.
Her arm wrapped around him and she curled up close, pressing a kiss to his jaw. He took her in his arms and held onto her tightly. She leaned into him, pressing her lips against his cheek and then neck. He kept his eyes closed and buried his face in her hair.
“I was tryin' to do the right thing,” he said in a weak, shaky whisper.
“I know,” she murmured.