"Oh Emma you are/a shining light"
-"Emma", Chris Luxem
Yayy! I found a song with my name in it! It's not the greatest song ever but I like it. It was the best of the songs that iTunes turned out with "Emma" as the title.
Anyway...
I graduated! I really didn't want to go and in the end I still wished I had stayed home. It was cold and drizzly and awkward and uncomfortable and rather painful overall. Graduating altogether is very anticlimactic, I don't really feel like I've accomplished something.
As long as I can remember I've always skated by in classes and I've always assumed that at the next level things would get harder ("Once I get to middle/high/college then I'll actually have to do my homework"). Hasn't happened yet and, ultimately, I feel very bleh about my grades. I graduated cum laude...but it doesn't mean anything. I didn't earn those As! I just got them because most of my teachers were practically senile.
Now I'm out of school and that feels totally normal. I thought I would be much more screaming-jumping-dancing-on-tables. I dunno...this can probably all be attributed to my severly stunted emotions and the fact that I fear happiness.
Otherwise, I'm supposed to shoot Obey today but, unfortunately, I asked my father for help. He's a great teacher and will do an excellent job but it means that a shoot that I fixed at four hours will become nine. And I just worked a 5-9 shift. Ok, I've got to clean the house and try to get my father prepped before Andrew gets here...
toodles!
Yayy! I found a song with my name in it! It's not the greatest song ever but I like it. It was the best of the songs that iTunes turned out with "Emma" as the title.
Anyway...
I graduated! I really didn't want to go and in the end I still wished I had stayed home. It was cold and drizzly and awkward and uncomfortable and rather painful overall. Graduating altogether is very anticlimactic, I don't really feel like I've accomplished something.
As long as I can remember I've always skated by in classes and I've always assumed that at the next level things would get harder ("Once I get to middle/high/college then I'll actually have to do my homework"). Hasn't happened yet and, ultimately, I feel very bleh about my grades. I graduated cum laude...but it doesn't mean anything. I didn't earn those As! I just got them because most of my teachers were practically senile.
Now I'm out of school and that feels totally normal. I thought I would be much more screaming-jumping-dancing-on-tables. I dunno...this can probably all be attributed to my severly stunted emotions and the fact that I fear happiness.
Otherwise, I'm supposed to shoot Obey today but, unfortunately, I asked my father for help. He's a great teacher and will do an excellent job but it means that a shoot that I fixed at four hours will become nine. And I just worked a 5-9 shift. Ok, I've got to clean the house and try to get my father prepped before Andrew gets here...
toodles!