(no subject)
So, I havent even looked at this thing in about a year. I think I will start doing it again though, and not go out as much. I feel pretty shitty lately and dont really feel like going out every night anymore. I dont know what is wrong with me but i have been in a really bad mood lately and that basically sucks. Now I just got in trouble for being on the phone, they started screaming at me when Alex was asking me about our Physiology homework and so I screamed at my parents and told them to shut up, and got in more trouble. They just immediatly start ripping me apart right when i walk in the door. And they wonder why i never wanna be here? Jesus. Why is it that no one even understands me and the few ppl that do always end up getting torn away from me? My parents told me to be home at 6 30 cuz we were going out to eat and now they say 7 30 when i could have stayed out later, i really dont care if i go back out or not. They just piss me off. Everything does. I wasnt like this last week and now all of a sudden i am this walking rain cloud. I need to shut the fuck up and get a life.
Other than the rest of my life sucking, i hang out with Liz Stone all the time and she is really cool and fun. We chill with Kayla and Heather and Matt, Steve and Wes, or Hugo, Shayne, Keving or Chris L. Chris L. sleeps over some times and leaves early so my parents dont really know that much about it. But they do know that I tell them im staying at Kaylas and really go out all night. My life is really fun but I feel like no one really cares that much about me. Like they are just my quasi-friends that just wanna hang out. And as for the guys, other than Chris, none of them could give 2 shits. When Sheep told me to find someone and make sure that they respect and care about me as much as he does, it meant a lot, cuz it made me feel like he really cares, even if he was just saying it which i hope isnt the case. I hope he cares, cuz i have been worried sick about him lately, ever since he came back. I really regret him leaving again. I wish that he could just stay and do well here, but he is off to college land, 2 years early. I always knew he was a smart little chum. I hate feeling stressed, it will be okay soon though, i am going to be optimistic.
Love ya!!
Nikkipoo