Torchwood ficlet post COE
Eternity
only for fun ....... characters are not mine, sadly ..... and english is absolutely not my first language .... sadly !
Again.
He was waking up wishing this time death could have done its job. For good.
It should have taken him. But forever was meant for Jack Harkness.
Even if he felt deep inside the darkness was The place where he belonged, it seemed he really got no choice, to live was his curse.
The price of immortality was painfully high. Each time higher.
He wished he could have had the chance to go with him in order to guide him in the dark. Death had no more secret, he knew the way to the darkness perfectly well.
He woke up wishing he could have stayed with him, for good.
But he had to let him go.
Again.
He has had to let go so many times.
So many people he loved from the bottom of his heart. So many of his lives he would have loved to give instead of feeling his heart more broken each time.
He was always the one left behind and he could swear on his fucking immortality that nothing could be worse. He would have given anything to keep him alive.
He was holding him while death was stealing over his body. That was their last embrace.
Only the darkness would have been able to save him from that heartbreaking reality.
But he has had to let him go, far too soon.
He would have loved to save him just holding him as tighly as he could, death couldn't take him so maybe if Ianto was close enough ..... but even Jack Hakness couldn't beat death. Not for the ones he loved anyway.
He woke up without any more tears in his eyes. He couldn't shed one single tear any more.
Of course he knew he had to play the hero one more time. One last time.
The memory of Ianto in his arms was stuck in his mind and his last words echoed painfully in his head. He couldn't have said the words, even to the man he loved.
That was something Jack had decided ages ago, he would never let somebody get too close to him, always keeping a safe distance. Safe ? For who exactly ?
He just felt he had no right to get too close to somebody else, because if love could be immortal, only him could feel it litteraly.
So yes, he had tried to keep him at distance. And yes, he couldn't have said the words.
And of course, for one second, he had wished he could had been able to make an exception for him. But he hadn't.
Ianto's gone.
He woke up.
Again.