Because I love doing commentaries when the world throws really hilarious shit on the news.
Jenna Bush is getting married in Crawford, Texas soon. I have yet to be invited, despite living only a half-day's drive from there. What the frak? My ego does not like you, Ms. Bush, because everyone caters to Teh Com's ego. In any case, is anyone else having flashbacks to Green Acres? Except it's a role reversal. Just so you know, Jenna, I don't care what the hell your gender is, I'm not voting for you when you try to conspire with your family of village idiots to take over the country again.
Michelle freggin' Duggar is pregnant with her 18th child. How her husband finds any joy in a vagina that's been through that much is beyond me. Seriously, have these people ever heard of adoption? I can see people having one or two, even if I'm opposed to procreation I can respect that some people like that sort of thing (even if I don't get it at all, seeing as I'd rather have poisonous snakes than kids), but really, do they have any idea how much of our resources 18 little "miracles" suck up? Also, I find their philosophy on life disgusting (they plan to send only the boys to college, the girls have to be housewives), so I for one support sterilization in their case.
A sinkhole has opened in Texas. I, for one, applaud the geological forces that did this. However, I ask the Flying Spaghetti Monster to hold off his smiting until I get the hell out of the state and forget I have any ties to it. Preferably until I've moved to some far off place, like Russia. To the people who lost precious cars in the accident - this is you. This is you without motorized transportation. This is what happens in the theocracy thing you're so crazy about. Don't like science? Go live with the fucking Amish and learn your lesson.
In Germany, a court has ruled that a Muslim girl can't skip swimming class despite her prude religious upbringings. Germany, you have been awarded Com's Stand Up In The Face of BS Award. They moved to your lovely country from their third world cow pen. The rules are different. The rules apply to them. The rules should not be altered just because they're so sensitive and hurt. Now, if the Danish would only take a hint from this and stop catering to the fundies, they shall receive second place, or Com's Stood Up In The Face of BS With Some Prompting Award.
That is all for my commentary on today's news.
Also, you can fill out this for fun. Because I'm curious.