..how to build a universe that doesn't fall apart 2 days later..
Long time since I last wrote..since then I've been fighting an epic battle. The battle for my soul. I guess I just came to a point in my life where I decided I needed to go on some sort of "vision quest" and stop believing in lies, especially all the lies about myself. 'Cause I'm really a spiritual being trapped in a material body..and for too long I thought a life of excess and materialism would bring me happiness. And it did...but I also knew I could be happier. Because glamourous, fabulous & the numerous other adjectives which others & myself used to describe me just didnt work anymore. So I followed the path the universe placed in before me..which led to something that DID describe me. And I used to think and preach that for every lesson you learn, you unlearn something else. Now I see that for every lesson I learn, I must unlearn myself.
I finally understand what Buddha meant when he said "Be the change you seek in the world." So I quit talking about being that change, and I just started changing. And when I finally discarded the facade I had created and maintained for so long..and became the person I really was & had always been, everything around me changed to fit my new perception. Belief creates reality. Between the lines of what I feel and what I "be" I've come to know I can be so lost & so found deep within me. Life is just our story, each person is a storyteller...and we are each the main character of our own story. We can create a story thats mostly fiction, filled with lies & confusion or we can write a story thats truth & beauty, based on our reality. But we can't tell both stories at the same time, we can only be the messenger of one message. Apparently you can infer what message I decided my life would be preachin. I chose to live through my actions, to see myself reflected in everything I do and every aspect of my being...and now I find god/spirituality/beauty/whatever u wanted to call it in the details, in the eyes of those around me, in each moment of life. I see myself (my message) reflected back at me.
Maybe I gave up on being the king of club land...and maybe my world no longer revolves in sync with a mirrorball, magic can be found elsewhere besides in drug baggies & intoxicants nowadays. Life isn't glamorous and fabulous anymore...life is just that: life-like. Exactly how it should be...and I love it for that. My existence is no longer a theatre production, and my starring role no longer performed in the spot light...but the people I care about love me without the props & special effects. And I love myself just the same as I loved the character I once played.
So I'll be updating a little more nowadays...and as always, dear reader, please tell me what my ramblings make you think...
Je suis la, ici et ailleurs..c'est ma vie.
I finally understand what Buddha meant when he said "Be the change you seek in the world." So I quit talking about being that change, and I just started changing. And when I finally discarded the facade I had created and maintained for so long..and became the person I really was & had always been, everything around me changed to fit my new perception. Belief creates reality. Between the lines of what I feel and what I "be" I've come to know I can be so lost & so found deep within me. Life is just our story, each person is a storyteller...and we are each the main character of our own story. We can create a story thats mostly fiction, filled with lies & confusion or we can write a story thats truth & beauty, based on our reality. But we can't tell both stories at the same time, we can only be the messenger of one message. Apparently you can infer what message I decided my life would be preachin. I chose to live through my actions, to see myself reflected in everything I do and every aspect of my being...and now I find god/spirituality/beauty/whatever u wanted to call it in the details, in the eyes of those around me, in each moment of life. I see myself (my message) reflected back at me.
Maybe I gave up on being the king of club land...and maybe my world no longer revolves in sync with a mirrorball, magic can be found elsewhere besides in drug baggies & intoxicants nowadays. Life isn't glamorous and fabulous anymore...life is just that: life-like. Exactly how it should be...and I love it for that. My existence is no longer a theatre production, and my starring role no longer performed in the spot light...but the people I care about love me without the props & special effects. And I love myself just the same as I loved the character I once played.
So I'll be updating a little more nowadays...and as always, dear reader, please tell me what my ramblings make you think...
Je suis la, ici et ailleurs..c'est ma vie.