(17/17) SPN_REVERSEBANG 2016: "the darkness came and i let it in" (Rowena)
In Inceptum Finis Est
I can’t understand why my lashes are wet. I recall the reason, but it seems so foolish. Like remembering the way you cried as a small child after breaking a toy. Such real pain at the time, but so… insignificant, in retrospect.
The chains fall from me like my cares as Fergus looks on in disbelief. I wouldn’t have thought my opinion of him could get any lower, but I was wrong. Before, when I arranged for him to die at Samuel’s hands, I admit, a small part of me regretted it. Not the idea of having him killed, but the fact that I wouldn’t be there to see it. His death used to mean something to me. Now, I couldn’t care less.
But I don’t want him to think me a totally heartless mother. For all my pomp and show, I do prefer for people to have a high opinion of me. And so I decide to leave him a parting gift. Something to remember me by. My boy’s always wanted a pup, and lucky for him, we have a homeless one right here for the taking. House-trained and everything. Oh, he might have a bit of bite to him, but with every gain there comes a sacrifice, as we’ve all learned by now.
Good deed done, without another glance, I leave it all behind.
Fergus and his screams.
The lifeless body of a boy who should have lived forever.
A room full of children who once meant everything to me, and now nothing.
The sky is stretched above, so bright and warm that if I were to raise my hands, I’m sure I could feel its warmth spill between my fingers. I breath in the outdoor air for the first time in days, and though I’m in the backlot of an industry gone to piss, all I can smell is rich moss and harebells. A song I had forgotten touches my lips and raises me above all the shadows of my past. They’re tread beneath my feet, left behind like all the rest.
I am safe and I will live forever.
