Original Fiction: Last Goodbye
Title: Last Goodbye
No characters or pairings....no spoilers...and as for a fandom..there really isn't one, but quite possibly HH if you squint really hard. It inspired me to do a period piece so I did. *sticks tongue out*
Author: Me! Sarah..
She had been sitting on that bench by the window since four bells that morning, staring out at the streets and watching the people pass. She went unnoticed by the staff as they bustled by performing their intended tasks as the pale figure of a woman sat half hidden by the door. It was late and she had been there a long time. A thought had even passed her mind that she’d gotten the date wrong and that her trip had been for naught. As was the story of her life, she supposed as her long fingers twitched the end of her cinnamon plait.
Heavy footsteps shook her from her reverie, causing a shiver to erupt along the length of her spine. No, she hadn’t gotten the date wrong. She was right on all accounts so far…well, except for her extreme overshoot of the time she’d have to wait. Either way it was now or never…though as her heart started to pound like a drum never seemed to be looking like the better option.
A tall form of a man stepped into the room and shed his hat and coat on the bed, taking no notice of her. Again her fingers twitched the end of her cinnamon colored braid as she watched, not moving from her place at the window. A strong hand closed the door, it slamming loudly enough to make her jump. Her breathing quickened and she wondered how much longer she had before she was noticed.
Deep blue eyes looked up toward the window and locked on her, an expression of confusion following suit. She licked her lips and stood, smoothing her skirt, bowing a little to him. They stood in silence for a moment, staring at each other. Both minds were reeling as to what to say, yet neither could form the words.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, taking a few steps toward her.
“The landlord didn’t see me come in…I’ve been waiting for you.” She spoke with her eyes on the ground, not wanting to meet his gaze.
“How long have you been waiting? I’ve been gone all day...”
“Since four bells…I knew you had an appointment at the docks and I wanted to be here before you got back. I didn’t think you’d…” her voice trailed off and she rubbed her hands together.
“Didn’t think I’d what?”
“Want to see me.” She looked up then, her hazel eyes staring into the depths of his.
“Why wouldn’t I?” his voice was quiet as he closed the rest of the distance between them and put a hand over hers.
She looked down at the wind chapped hands that for so many years had been burned by rope, sun, cold, heat, and otherwise…they looked so old. She bit her lip and rested her other hand on top of his, stroking the rough flesh. How many times had she felt the weight of those hands on her skin? How many times had she cried out as those rough fingers found just the right place to make her wish she would never have to be anywhere else? How many times had those hands held hers as they walked along the crowded docks? How many times had those hands held her in place when she threatened to leave and never return?
“I told you I wasn’t going to come back again until all of this nonsense was over…and I thought I’d angered you, sir.” Her voice was barely audible, the admission pulling up through weeks of emotions that she’d held inside.
“You did.” His admission was given with a slightly cold tone to his voice and she turned her face away as though she’d been struck.
“That wasn’t my intention…I only wanted you to not have to worry about me. You’ve enough on your mind as it is.”
“That was enough to consume my mind, thank you. But that’s hardly the point…why are you here?” his hand tugged out from between hers and instantly she felt as though any connection they’d ever had was severed.
“I wanted to tell you good bye before you left…I thought you deserved as much since I was so rude on our last parting..” one of her hands slowly inched up the length of his torso to his face, stopping to tuck a stray piece of curly, light brown hair behind his ear.
“I didn’t even know you were in town otherwise I’d have come to find you…” his tone softened a bit and he turned his cheek to press against her palm.
“You weren’t meant to know I was here. I came only to see you off…nothing more.”
“It’s never just that and you know it.”
“I know. I just wanted to say good bye one last time. One good turn to make up for a bad one.” Her voice wavered a bit and she ran the pad of her thumb along his cheek, taking in the leathery feeling caused by far too much sun and wind over the years.
“Last time? It’s not as if I won’t see you again. We always end up in the same place, you and I.” he smiled a bit then, lifting one of his hands to completely cover the one that held his cheek.
“Not this time. You’ll be in Kingston by the turn of the week…and I leave for France on the morrow. Now, I know you’re capable of some amazing feats, sir, but I highly doubt seeing you come trudging up the way in the middle of the French countryside during this time of war…” her eyes held tears as she spoke and it took all of her resolve not to collapse against him and beg him to never let her go.
“France? Why France? They’ll kill you if they find out you’re there…” his eyes locked on hers and instantly she swam in the sea of blue that lacked an end.
“My mother’s cousin in the Marquis L’Anders…I’ll be at his estate…he’s promised that no harm will come to me.” She bit back a bitter laugh, knowing all too well that the word of any of her family was about as good as curdled milk.
“I can’t have that…no. I’ll give you an address and a letter...you’ll go to stay with my sisters. You’ll be safer there…and I’ll know where to find you when all of this damned bloodshed is over...” this time his voice wavered and he turned from her, walking to a desk, and started tearing through it in search of paper, pen, and ink.
“I can’t do that…besides, they’re already expecting me.” She sighed and came up behind him, winding her arms around his waist.
They stood like that for a long time; her head pillowed on his back and his hands resting over hers. Neither made a move to speak as tears and anguish gathered. Her breathing choked a bit as she fought back the urge to cry, gripping her arms around him tighter. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to focus on any other time than the present.
He turned, moving so that she was in his arms. He gazed down at the top of her head, trying to memorize how the sun filtered in gold through the cinnamon locks as she pressed her face into his chest. How many days had he spent watching as the sunlight turned her hair into the colours of a fire…from red to orange to gold…and he smiled at it. As was her personality…ever like a firecracker, her…she belonged to no one in this world where a woman was measured by the strength of her husband. They had laughed so many times when he would come in from the ship...that one day when both of them were old and grey they would finally settle down. They would marry when the call of the sea didn’t burn in his bones and when her desire to be free didn’t pour out of her heart. Alas, it was never meant to be.
A tanned finger went to left her chin so he could meet her eyes. The hazel he had grown so used to seeing both in the hushed dark of a halfway house room and free light of day were pooled in tears. Tears for him. He bit his lip and lowered his forehead to rest against hers. They stood silent.
“When all this is over I’ll come for you. I’ll come and we’ll get married. And I mean it this time…no jest.” His eyes were closed and his voice was forcibly even.
“You don’t mean that…you never mean that.” Words thick with tears came shakily from her lips, wavering on the edge of breaking.
“I mean it this time and God as my witness I’ll do you right by it. My word, ma’am. It’s all I have.”
She nodded and pulled away from him, going to a pool of cloth on the bench where he had found her. Her hands dug around in the brown puddle of a cloak and pulled out a thin envelope. It was small, his name signed on the front and the back sealed with red wax. He looked at it for a moment before taking it, fingers moving to rip open the seal.
“No. Save it for when you’re in Kingston the first night. You’ll need something to entertain you while you’re on watch, I gather…and that will certainly be enough.” Her voice now was forced to be even as she pulled the cloak from which the letter had come around her shoulders, “give me your word you won’t open it until then.”
His mouth opened and closed a few times in protest but ultimately he nodded, “my word, ma’am. I won’t open it until the first night we dock.”
“Good man…”
Her tongue flicked out to wet her lips as she pulled the hood over her hair. She fidgeted for a moment before going and throwing her arms around his shoulders, “fight well. I want to hear stories of your heroism upon your return…promise me.”
“I promise.” He whispered and pulled her close.
“Godspeed to you…and tell your senior officer or whoever is responsible for all this that I want this war to be over soon. If I have a wedding to plan I don’t want it to be years down the line, now. So you let them know.” She nodded, trying to avoid his gaze.
Again a hand went to lift her chin up, “And you stay out of trouble. I know your knack for it.”
“My word, sir.”
A trace of a smile crossed his lips as he moved to kiss her. She held up a hand and moved to press her lips against his weather stained cheek, “You’ll get it when next we meet. I’ll not have you sulking through the rest of this insanity because you miss me.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it…” he whispered and bit back a sigh as she slid out of his arms and made her way to the door.
He watched her go, his insides twisting. There went the only woman in the world who ever understood him and his love…and loved him for it. She alone would risk life and limb to see his passions fulfilled for him.
She turned as she opened the door, “one favor.”
“Yes?”
“Don’t dwell on my absence…”
“I told you I wouldn’t…”
“I know…just keep that in mind.”
He nodded and she moved to close the door. He stood, voice catching in his throat before he took a few steps and caught the door just before her hand left it, “I love-“
She cut him off with a wave of her hand. Her head shook as tears again threatened to fall from her eyes, “save it, man, for when next we meet.”
“But…”
“It is reciprocated, know that. But I don’t want to part ways on such a sentimental note. Things will be best left if we leave on more neutral terms. Trust me.”
He nodded again and she left.
Six days later he stood on the deck, his watch threatening to melt his thoughts with boredom. Being docked was bad enough just before a long haul…supplies and other necessities coming in as the higher officers strategize and talked with others of their rank. He stood; the cold seeping into his bones as a wind whipped across the water.
In a moment he remembered her words and cursed himself for not ripping open the letter the moment he’d seen land. The feeling of her hands caressed his mind as he pulled out the small piece of paper and ran a finger along the wax seal. She had to be so proper…but not for him.
He popped the wax open and folded open the envelope. Inside there were two pieces of paper, one written in official type and the other in her elegant script. His eyes wandered between the two, wondering which to read first, and settled on the more official looking note. His eyes widened as he read it, heart pounding in his chest and hands shaking as his eyes moved over the words.
Let it be known that on the day of Fifteen, March in the Year of Our Lord Seventeen Ninety-Four the Lady the ink smeared, but he knew it was her name will be on the vessel Harstoneye to France. She is charged with crimes against the crown of France and conspiring against the Marquis L’Anders by way of giving away information to the Royal British Navy and her officers of plans during wartime. She is sentenced to death on the day Twenty-Three, March in the Year of Our Lord Seventeen Ninety-Four by hanging by the neck until dead with no appeal or trial.
His breath caught. It had to be a misunderstanding…she would have told him if something this dire were happening. He could have helped her…gotten her somewhere safe…anything. With a disgusted sigh he unfolded the note in her soft handwriting and read, tears threatening to fall as her words passed in front of his eyes.
My dear,
I told you to wait to open this until you’ve left because I want no attempt of rescue. You’re foolhardy enough to try and come for me and I know this…hence why I couldn’t tell you when I saw you. Don’t worry for me…I don’t fear my fate. I did what I did because it had to be done. I, like you, wanted a bit of honor in all of this insanity and if it meant my own life in return for hundreds then so be it. I’m not ashamed to die for my King and my Country.
I told you not to dwell on my absence…and now I can finally finish the sentence. Don’t dwell on my absence from this life…I’ll always be with you as you’ve always been with me. Do not let this event cloud your judgment and your mind…live on as though I’ll be at the next port waiting. And indeed my spirit will be there. Live a long life, my dear, live for me. Live for me as we always said we would.
I love you. I’ve never said the words aloud because I knew, in time, that something like this would happen. I knew that somehow my ability to find trouble would tear me away from you…or that the sea would tear you away from me and it is hardly fair that one of us lives with those words ringing in our ears while the other cannot. I do love you. Always remember that.
He folded the letter closed and put them both back in the envelope which he stuffed back into the breast pocket of his coat. Tears did not fall from his eyes, his hands did not shake, but his heart had broken into a million pieces. He would live…not because she had asked him to, but because he had to. Alas…it was never meant to be.
No characters or pairings....no spoilers...and as for a fandom..there really isn't one, but quite possibly HH if you squint really hard. It inspired me to do a period piece so I did. *sticks tongue out*
Author: Me! Sarah..
She had been sitting on that bench by the window since four bells that morning, staring out at the streets and watching the people pass. She went unnoticed by the staff as they bustled by performing their intended tasks as the pale figure of a woman sat half hidden by the door. It was late and she had been there a long time. A thought had even passed her mind that she’d gotten the date wrong and that her trip had been for naught. As was the story of her life, she supposed as her long fingers twitched the end of her cinnamon plait.
Heavy footsteps shook her from her reverie, causing a shiver to erupt along the length of her spine. No, she hadn’t gotten the date wrong. She was right on all accounts so far…well, except for her extreme overshoot of the time she’d have to wait. Either way it was now or never…though as her heart started to pound like a drum never seemed to be looking like the better option.
A tall form of a man stepped into the room and shed his hat and coat on the bed, taking no notice of her. Again her fingers twitched the end of her cinnamon colored braid as she watched, not moving from her place at the window. A strong hand closed the door, it slamming loudly enough to make her jump. Her breathing quickened and she wondered how much longer she had before she was noticed.
Deep blue eyes looked up toward the window and locked on her, an expression of confusion following suit. She licked her lips and stood, smoothing her skirt, bowing a little to him. They stood in silence for a moment, staring at each other. Both minds were reeling as to what to say, yet neither could form the words.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, taking a few steps toward her.
“The landlord didn’t see me come in…I’ve been waiting for you.” She spoke with her eyes on the ground, not wanting to meet his gaze.
“How long have you been waiting? I’ve been gone all day...”
“Since four bells…I knew you had an appointment at the docks and I wanted to be here before you got back. I didn’t think you’d…” her voice trailed off and she rubbed her hands together.
“Didn’t think I’d what?”
“Want to see me.” She looked up then, her hazel eyes staring into the depths of his.
“Why wouldn’t I?” his voice was quiet as he closed the rest of the distance between them and put a hand over hers.
She looked down at the wind chapped hands that for so many years had been burned by rope, sun, cold, heat, and otherwise…they looked so old. She bit her lip and rested her other hand on top of his, stroking the rough flesh. How many times had she felt the weight of those hands on her skin? How many times had she cried out as those rough fingers found just the right place to make her wish she would never have to be anywhere else? How many times had those hands held hers as they walked along the crowded docks? How many times had those hands held her in place when she threatened to leave and never return?
“I told you I wasn’t going to come back again until all of this nonsense was over…and I thought I’d angered you, sir.” Her voice was barely audible, the admission pulling up through weeks of emotions that she’d held inside.
“You did.” His admission was given with a slightly cold tone to his voice and she turned her face away as though she’d been struck.
“That wasn’t my intention…I only wanted you to not have to worry about me. You’ve enough on your mind as it is.”
“That was enough to consume my mind, thank you. But that’s hardly the point…why are you here?” his hand tugged out from between hers and instantly she felt as though any connection they’d ever had was severed.
“I wanted to tell you good bye before you left…I thought you deserved as much since I was so rude on our last parting..” one of her hands slowly inched up the length of his torso to his face, stopping to tuck a stray piece of curly, light brown hair behind his ear.
“I didn’t even know you were in town otherwise I’d have come to find you…” his tone softened a bit and he turned his cheek to press against her palm.
“You weren’t meant to know I was here. I came only to see you off…nothing more.”
“It’s never just that and you know it.”
“I know. I just wanted to say good bye one last time. One good turn to make up for a bad one.” Her voice wavered a bit and she ran the pad of her thumb along his cheek, taking in the leathery feeling caused by far too much sun and wind over the years.
“Last time? It’s not as if I won’t see you again. We always end up in the same place, you and I.” he smiled a bit then, lifting one of his hands to completely cover the one that held his cheek.
“Not this time. You’ll be in Kingston by the turn of the week…and I leave for France on the morrow. Now, I know you’re capable of some amazing feats, sir, but I highly doubt seeing you come trudging up the way in the middle of the French countryside during this time of war…” her eyes held tears as she spoke and it took all of her resolve not to collapse against him and beg him to never let her go.
“France? Why France? They’ll kill you if they find out you’re there…” his eyes locked on hers and instantly she swam in the sea of blue that lacked an end.
“My mother’s cousin in the Marquis L’Anders…I’ll be at his estate…he’s promised that no harm will come to me.” She bit back a bitter laugh, knowing all too well that the word of any of her family was about as good as curdled milk.
“I can’t have that…no. I’ll give you an address and a letter...you’ll go to stay with my sisters. You’ll be safer there…and I’ll know where to find you when all of this damned bloodshed is over...” this time his voice wavered and he turned from her, walking to a desk, and started tearing through it in search of paper, pen, and ink.
“I can’t do that…besides, they’re already expecting me.” She sighed and came up behind him, winding her arms around his waist.
They stood like that for a long time; her head pillowed on his back and his hands resting over hers. Neither made a move to speak as tears and anguish gathered. Her breathing choked a bit as she fought back the urge to cry, gripping her arms around him tighter. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to focus on any other time than the present.
He turned, moving so that she was in his arms. He gazed down at the top of her head, trying to memorize how the sun filtered in gold through the cinnamon locks as she pressed her face into his chest. How many days had he spent watching as the sunlight turned her hair into the colours of a fire…from red to orange to gold…and he smiled at it. As was her personality…ever like a firecracker, her…she belonged to no one in this world where a woman was measured by the strength of her husband. They had laughed so many times when he would come in from the ship...that one day when both of them were old and grey they would finally settle down. They would marry when the call of the sea didn’t burn in his bones and when her desire to be free didn’t pour out of her heart. Alas, it was never meant to be.
A tanned finger went to left her chin so he could meet her eyes. The hazel he had grown so used to seeing both in the hushed dark of a halfway house room and free light of day were pooled in tears. Tears for him. He bit his lip and lowered his forehead to rest against hers. They stood silent.
“When all this is over I’ll come for you. I’ll come and we’ll get married. And I mean it this time…no jest.” His eyes were closed and his voice was forcibly even.
“You don’t mean that…you never mean that.” Words thick with tears came shakily from her lips, wavering on the edge of breaking.
“I mean it this time and God as my witness I’ll do you right by it. My word, ma’am. It’s all I have.”
She nodded and pulled away from him, going to a pool of cloth on the bench where he had found her. Her hands dug around in the brown puddle of a cloak and pulled out a thin envelope. It was small, his name signed on the front and the back sealed with red wax. He looked at it for a moment before taking it, fingers moving to rip open the seal.
“No. Save it for when you’re in Kingston the first night. You’ll need something to entertain you while you’re on watch, I gather…and that will certainly be enough.” Her voice now was forced to be even as she pulled the cloak from which the letter had come around her shoulders, “give me your word you won’t open it until then.”
His mouth opened and closed a few times in protest but ultimately he nodded, “my word, ma’am. I won’t open it until the first night we dock.”
“Good man…”
Her tongue flicked out to wet her lips as she pulled the hood over her hair. She fidgeted for a moment before going and throwing her arms around his shoulders, “fight well. I want to hear stories of your heroism upon your return…promise me.”
“I promise.” He whispered and pulled her close.
“Godspeed to you…and tell your senior officer or whoever is responsible for all this that I want this war to be over soon. If I have a wedding to plan I don’t want it to be years down the line, now. So you let them know.” She nodded, trying to avoid his gaze.
Again a hand went to lift her chin up, “And you stay out of trouble. I know your knack for it.”
“My word, sir.”
A trace of a smile crossed his lips as he moved to kiss her. She held up a hand and moved to press her lips against his weather stained cheek, “You’ll get it when next we meet. I’ll not have you sulking through the rest of this insanity because you miss me.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it…” he whispered and bit back a sigh as she slid out of his arms and made her way to the door.
He watched her go, his insides twisting. There went the only woman in the world who ever understood him and his love…and loved him for it. She alone would risk life and limb to see his passions fulfilled for him.
She turned as she opened the door, “one favor.”
“Yes?”
“Don’t dwell on my absence…”
“I told you I wouldn’t…”
“I know…just keep that in mind.”
He nodded and she moved to close the door. He stood, voice catching in his throat before he took a few steps and caught the door just before her hand left it, “I love-“
She cut him off with a wave of her hand. Her head shook as tears again threatened to fall from her eyes, “save it, man, for when next we meet.”
“But…”
“It is reciprocated, know that. But I don’t want to part ways on such a sentimental note. Things will be best left if we leave on more neutral terms. Trust me.”
He nodded again and she left.
Six days later he stood on the deck, his watch threatening to melt his thoughts with boredom. Being docked was bad enough just before a long haul…supplies and other necessities coming in as the higher officers strategize and talked with others of their rank. He stood; the cold seeping into his bones as a wind whipped across the water.
In a moment he remembered her words and cursed himself for not ripping open the letter the moment he’d seen land. The feeling of her hands caressed his mind as he pulled out the small piece of paper and ran a finger along the wax seal. She had to be so proper…but not for him.
He popped the wax open and folded open the envelope. Inside there were two pieces of paper, one written in official type and the other in her elegant script. His eyes wandered between the two, wondering which to read first, and settled on the more official looking note. His eyes widened as he read it, heart pounding in his chest and hands shaking as his eyes moved over the words.
Let it be known that on the day of Fifteen, March in the Year of Our Lord Seventeen Ninety-Four the Lady the ink smeared, but he knew it was her name will be on the vessel Harstoneye to France. She is charged with crimes against the crown of France and conspiring against the Marquis L’Anders by way of giving away information to the Royal British Navy and her officers of plans during wartime. She is sentenced to death on the day Twenty-Three, March in the Year of Our Lord Seventeen Ninety-Four by hanging by the neck until dead with no appeal or trial.
His breath caught. It had to be a misunderstanding…she would have told him if something this dire were happening. He could have helped her…gotten her somewhere safe…anything. With a disgusted sigh he unfolded the note in her soft handwriting and read, tears threatening to fall as her words passed in front of his eyes.
My dear,
I told you to wait to open this until you’ve left because I want no attempt of rescue. You’re foolhardy enough to try and come for me and I know this…hence why I couldn’t tell you when I saw you. Don’t worry for me…I don’t fear my fate. I did what I did because it had to be done. I, like you, wanted a bit of honor in all of this insanity and if it meant my own life in return for hundreds then so be it. I’m not ashamed to die for my King and my Country.
I told you not to dwell on my absence…and now I can finally finish the sentence. Don’t dwell on my absence from this life…I’ll always be with you as you’ve always been with me. Do not let this event cloud your judgment and your mind…live on as though I’ll be at the next port waiting. And indeed my spirit will be there. Live a long life, my dear, live for me. Live for me as we always said we would.
I love you. I’ve never said the words aloud because I knew, in time, that something like this would happen. I knew that somehow my ability to find trouble would tear me away from you…or that the sea would tear you away from me and it is hardly fair that one of us lives with those words ringing in our ears while the other cannot. I do love you. Always remember that.
He folded the letter closed and put them both back in the envelope which he stuffed back into the breast pocket of his coat. Tears did not fall from his eyes, his hands did not shake, but his heart had broken into a million pieces. He would live…not because she had asked him to, but because he had to. Alas…it was never meant to be.