slashfic25 prompt #25: Writer's Choice
Gerard/Bert
Prompt #25. Writer's Choice (Gift)
896 words
PG (for swearing)
Notes: Just humorous fluff really.
"What the fuck is that?"
Green eyes stare back at him quizzically. They're set in a heart-shaped face, perfect cheekbones tapering down to a pointed chin, small mouth curled up in what could almost be a smile. A slash of vivid red around the neck, breaking up the black. Dark hair with a purplish tint when it hits the light ...
Bert's mesmerised, but he won't admit it. Instead, he screws up his nose and feigns disgust.
"Aw, come on, McCracken! Look how cute he is."
"He? So it's a he?" he finally responds, hoping the sarcasm will take some of the shock from his tone. "Looks like a fuckin' girl to me."
"Well, he's not. You wanna check?"
Bert shakes his head, frowning. "Shut the hell up, will ya? Christ ... " Instinctively, his hand moves to the back of his head and runs through his dirty hair. He clenches his fist and tugs at the locks for a second. "So, where d'you find him, anyway?"
"Oh. Well, uh ... this friend of Mom's, y'know. She found, like, eight of them in a bag in the park, by the lake. Someone was gonna drown them. And I said you could take one, 'cause you don't have a pet anymore -- "
Bert's head snaps up. "Hang on, hang on -- you drove all the way here, from fucking New Jersey, to bring me a fucking cat?"
"Yeah. They wouldn't let me take him on the plane," Gerard says with an absurdly proud grin, plopping down on the sofa with the kitten in his lap. "I guess his claws could be a weapon of mass destruction or something ... Maybe he could catch bird flu from eating a sparrow, I don't know." He shrugs and turns his attention to the cat, gently scratching under its chin and producing a purr. "What d'you think, Puss?"
"Dude, you are totally fucked in the head."
"I was asking the cat, not you," Gerard says without looking up. The kitten keeps purring and stands up to stretch, paws balancing awkwardly on Gerard's legs.
"He looks like you," Bert says, crossing his arms.
"Hmm?"
"You used to stand like that when you were drunk."
Gerard extends his middle finger in Bert's direction, provoking a wild, high-pitched giggle.
"It's true! Actually ... he does look a lot like you."
Gerard and the kitten look up at Bert simultaneously. Two pairs of slightly sceptical green eyes that see right through him. It's eerie, and Bert shivers in spite of himself.
"Good-looking cat, then," Gerard says drily, and Bert grins again.
"Yeah, whatever. So, why'd you think of me?"
The kitten clambers across the sofa on fat, clumsy paws, and Bert feels the strangest urge to lean across and kiss the top of its furry black head.
Gerard smiles. "Dunno ... I guess I can't get you out of my head, fucker."
"Aw! You love me."
"I know. And I hate it." Gerard's eyes are fixed on the kitten, who is now perched on the arm of the couch, digging his claws into the fabric and slowly pulling them free, tearing at the cloth with every movement.
"You must be fucking tired," Bert says, picking up the kitten and staring at it, feeling the small, warm creature wriggling in his grasp. He smiles and the cat reaches out to swat at his hair. "What's your middle name?"
"Huh?"
"I can't call him Gerard -- that's too confusing. What's your middle name?"
"Oh. It's Arthur."
"Cute." Gently, Bert kisses the cat's nose and laughs softly. "Hey there, Arthur. I'm Bert. I'm kinda like your dad. So, I guess that makes Gerard your mom -- "
"Shut up."
"Hmm." Bert ignores the comment and eyeballs the cat. "Now, you look a lot like your mom, but you'd better not act like it, okay? I'm the fucking boss, you remember that. Don't want none of this diva shit from you, Arthur."
Gerard rolls his eyes. "Bert, he's a fucking cat!"
"So what? I'm, like, bonding with him or something." Bert smirks and nestles the kitten into the crook of one arm. "Unless you want me to go dump him in the river ... "
"You wouldn't!"
Bert looks at the cat in his arms, then up at Gerard dramatically. "Well -- no, I probably wouldn't," he says after a moment. "What can I say? He's cute. I'm a sucker for green eyes. Otherwise, I would've drowned you a long time ago."
"Is that supposed to be a compliment?" Gerard says, mouth twitching with hidden laughter.
Bert takes a deep breath. "Uh -- I don't know."
"Get the fuck over here," he says, laughing softly, and Bert complies, dropping Arthur onto Gerard's lap before curling up on the couch beside him. Gerard slips an arm around Bert's waist and leans against him, pressing a kiss to the side of his neck. Bert lets out a satisfied hum, the kitten purrs and Gerard laughs again.
"So, do you like him?"
"I love him," Bert says, reaching out to scratch behind one of Arthur's ears. His fingertips trail up Gerard's stomach and chest, stopping at his throat and lightly tracing his jawline. "Such a cute little face ... "
"I meant the cat," Gerard says, turning his head enough to kiss Bert's fingers.
"Yeah," he replies, smirking. "So did I."
Prompt #25. Writer's Choice (Gift)
896 words
PG (for swearing)
Notes: Just humorous fluff really.
"What the fuck is that?"
Green eyes stare back at him quizzically. They're set in a heart-shaped face, perfect cheekbones tapering down to a pointed chin, small mouth curled up in what could almost be a smile. A slash of vivid red around the neck, breaking up the black. Dark hair with a purplish tint when it hits the light ...
Bert's mesmerised, but he won't admit it. Instead, he screws up his nose and feigns disgust.
"Aw, come on, McCracken! Look how cute he is."
"He? So it's a he?" he finally responds, hoping the sarcasm will take some of the shock from his tone. "Looks like a fuckin' girl to me."
"Well, he's not. You wanna check?"
Bert shakes his head, frowning. "Shut the hell up, will ya? Christ ... " Instinctively, his hand moves to the back of his head and runs through his dirty hair. He clenches his fist and tugs at the locks for a second. "So, where d'you find him, anyway?"
"Oh. Well, uh ... this friend of Mom's, y'know. She found, like, eight of them in a bag in the park, by the lake. Someone was gonna drown them. And I said you could take one, 'cause you don't have a pet anymore -- "
Bert's head snaps up. "Hang on, hang on -- you drove all the way here, from fucking New Jersey, to bring me a fucking cat?"
"Yeah. They wouldn't let me take him on the plane," Gerard says with an absurdly proud grin, plopping down on the sofa with the kitten in his lap. "I guess his claws could be a weapon of mass destruction or something ... Maybe he could catch bird flu from eating a sparrow, I don't know." He shrugs and turns his attention to the cat, gently scratching under its chin and producing a purr. "What d'you think, Puss?"
"Dude, you are totally fucked in the head."
"I was asking the cat, not you," Gerard says without looking up. The kitten keeps purring and stands up to stretch, paws balancing awkwardly on Gerard's legs.
"He looks like you," Bert says, crossing his arms.
"Hmm?"
"You used to stand like that when you were drunk."
Gerard extends his middle finger in Bert's direction, provoking a wild, high-pitched giggle.
"It's true! Actually ... he does look a lot like you."
Gerard and the kitten look up at Bert simultaneously. Two pairs of slightly sceptical green eyes that see right through him. It's eerie, and Bert shivers in spite of himself.
"Good-looking cat, then," Gerard says drily, and Bert grins again.
"Yeah, whatever. So, why'd you think of me?"
The kitten clambers across the sofa on fat, clumsy paws, and Bert feels the strangest urge to lean across and kiss the top of its furry black head.
Gerard smiles. "Dunno ... I guess I can't get you out of my head, fucker."
"Aw! You love me."
"I know. And I hate it." Gerard's eyes are fixed on the kitten, who is now perched on the arm of the couch, digging his claws into the fabric and slowly pulling them free, tearing at the cloth with every movement.
"You must be fucking tired," Bert says, picking up the kitten and staring at it, feeling the small, warm creature wriggling in his grasp. He smiles and the cat reaches out to swat at his hair. "What's your middle name?"
"Huh?"
"I can't call him Gerard -- that's too confusing. What's your middle name?"
"Oh. It's Arthur."
"Cute." Gently, Bert kisses the cat's nose and laughs softly. "Hey there, Arthur. I'm Bert. I'm kinda like your dad. So, I guess that makes Gerard your mom -- "
"Shut up."
"Hmm." Bert ignores the comment and eyeballs the cat. "Now, you look a lot like your mom, but you'd better not act like it, okay? I'm the fucking boss, you remember that. Don't want none of this diva shit from you, Arthur."
Gerard rolls his eyes. "Bert, he's a fucking cat!"
"So what? I'm, like, bonding with him or something." Bert smirks and nestles the kitten into the crook of one arm. "Unless you want me to go dump him in the river ... "
"You wouldn't!"
Bert looks at the cat in his arms, then up at Gerard dramatically. "Well -- no, I probably wouldn't," he says after a moment. "What can I say? He's cute. I'm a sucker for green eyes. Otherwise, I would've drowned you a long time ago."
"Is that supposed to be a compliment?" Gerard says, mouth twitching with hidden laughter.
Bert takes a deep breath. "Uh -- I don't know."
"Get the fuck over here," he says, laughing softly, and Bert complies, dropping Arthur onto Gerard's lap before curling up on the couch beside him. Gerard slips an arm around Bert's waist and leans against him, pressing a kiss to the side of his neck. Bert lets out a satisfied hum, the kitten purrs and Gerard laughs again.
"So, do you like him?"
"I love him," Bert says, reaching out to scratch behind one of Arthur's ears. His fingertips trail up Gerard's stomach and chest, stopping at his throat and lightly tracing his jawline. "Such a cute little face ... "
"I meant the cat," Gerard says, turning his head enough to kiss Bert's fingers.
"Yeah," he replies, smirking. "So did I."