(no subject)
Im quikly retreating into my winter slumber.
Leaving everything behind that was once me, and becoming a blank visage of a former self.
It happens every year right about this time. An annual digression into a partial cattonic state.
In most recent memory I have mostly embraced this time to get away from everything, but not this time.
There is a part of me fighting it. Wanting to stay a functioning part of society.
I want to find something that compliments me. So that I can spend my time occupied.
Not so much occupied in the traditional sense of having something to do, just something to keep my mind from being idle or from constantly pouring over the same unanswered questions that tax my mind during my last waking moments and times of silence.
Not only do I want to find something that compliments me but I think I might try actively pursuing someone to compliment me. Too long have I just left it to chance and taken my normal laid back aproach to everyrthing. This is probably the key to my failure on all past occassions. One cannont do the same thing repeatedly and expect different results.
Sense of humor, inteligence, beauty, apreciation of art/artistic ability, good taste in music/style/fashion/movies, talkative enough to keep me talking too, strong willed...
I ask too much? You decide.
I often wonder if people read this and think that I write stupid. Like I'm trying too hard to sound complicated and sophisticated. Somehow aristocratic?
Just a side thought(but if you would care to answer, I would like to hear your honest opinions).
Well this break feels like its winding down. I don't know what to do with my time. I think I'm done with it.
Going back is going to be hard though. The cold is probably my worst enemy. And if I dont get some more reliable friends out there I dont really know what I'm going to do.
I wish things could have been better while I was back, more meaningful somehow?
I don't know what I'm talking about anymore.
I'm just going to go to sleep now then.
Leaving everything behind that was once me, and becoming a blank visage of a former self.
It happens every year right about this time. An annual digression into a partial cattonic state.
In most recent memory I have mostly embraced this time to get away from everything, but not this time.
There is a part of me fighting it. Wanting to stay a functioning part of society.
I want to find something that compliments me. So that I can spend my time occupied.
Not so much occupied in the traditional sense of having something to do, just something to keep my mind from being idle or from constantly pouring over the same unanswered questions that tax my mind during my last waking moments and times of silence.
Not only do I want to find something that compliments me but I think I might try actively pursuing someone to compliment me. Too long have I just left it to chance and taken my normal laid back aproach to everyrthing. This is probably the key to my failure on all past occassions. One cannont do the same thing repeatedly and expect different results.
Sense of humor, inteligence, beauty, apreciation of art/artistic ability, good taste in music/style/fashion/movies, talkative enough to keep me talking too, strong willed...
I ask too much? You decide.
I often wonder if people read this and think that I write stupid. Like I'm trying too hard to sound complicated and sophisticated. Somehow aristocratic?
Just a side thought(but if you would care to answer, I would like to hear your honest opinions).
Well this break feels like its winding down. I don't know what to do with my time. I think I'm done with it.
Going back is going to be hard though. The cold is probably my worst enemy. And if I dont get some more reliable friends out there I dont really know what I'm going to do.
I wish things could have been better while I was back, more meaningful somehow?
I don't know what I'm talking about anymore.
I'm just going to go to sleep now then.