(no subject)
something feels broken.
i don't know why i'm so sad. so lonely.
i'm sorry i'm the worst lj friend ever. iknow. i read all your posts. but i just. i just can't find the words. sometimes. i don't know what to say. i mean, i honestly want to reply. but fuck. i just. i don't know why i can't. i don't know how to say anything anymore.
it's so easy for me to cry nowadays. i feel so sensitive. then i get this out-of-body thing where i just see myself. sitting there. like there's four walls around me and it's a sad sight. that makes me cry more.
i think of all the hearts that i've broken. i've been thinking of the past. the present is shit. and the future, bright as always, is too fucking far i don't even bother anymore to go there.
three of my friends have left my school. i've always been a loner, really. but honestly, come on. as if i wasn't alone enough. everyday is the same monotonous shit. i think of all the relationships i've fucked up, and it makes me sad how i can't find the courage to fix it.
i think of how cold i am to everybody. i'm sorry, i just say. i don't mean it. sometimes it seems like i don't care, i know. like i don't give a flying fuck. but i do. i do care.
i care so much it hurts.
that makes me cry more.
i do know why i'm sad, actually. but loneliness... everyone's lonely nowadays, innit?
why is that. why. the fuck is that.
that makes me cry more.
i don't know why i'm so sad. so lonely.
i'm sorry i'm the worst lj friend ever. iknow. i read all your posts. but i just. i just can't find the words. sometimes. i don't know what to say. i mean, i honestly want to reply. but fuck. i just. i don't know why i can't. i don't know how to say anything anymore.
it's so easy for me to cry nowadays. i feel so sensitive. then i get this out-of-body thing where i just see myself. sitting there. like there's four walls around me and it's a sad sight. that makes me cry more.
i think of all the hearts that i've broken. i've been thinking of the past. the present is shit. and the future, bright as always, is too fucking far i don't even bother anymore to go there.
three of my friends have left my school. i've always been a loner, really. but honestly, come on. as if i wasn't alone enough. everyday is the same monotonous shit. i think of all the relationships i've fucked up, and it makes me sad how i can't find the courage to fix it.
i think of how cold i am to everybody. i'm sorry, i just say. i don't mean it. sometimes it seems like i don't care, i know. like i don't give a flying fuck. but i do. i do care.
i care so much it hurts.
that makes me cry more.
i do know why i'm sad, actually. but loneliness... everyone's lonely nowadays, innit?
why is that. why. the fuck is that.
that makes me cry more.