(no subject)
Ok so I really want to go to jax this wednesday, but blah blah to hard to explain it all got blown out of proportion. But anyways it's not looking to good for me so I decided to pray about it, asking God to let me go and what not but like yeah ok if I get to go awesome, but if i don't get to go I don't want to be all distrought and super upset about it, so I asked God to give me peace if it's not in his will to let me go or w/e but like ahh I don't know how I can be ok if I don't get to go. Like being with the ppl from jax just makes me so happy and they are such an encouragement to me, seeing all of them walking with God, it's really amazing and I hope some of there on fireness(if thats a word) for God will rub off on me. Here there is all this drama and gay crap that really gets in the way, and none of us here really have a relationship with God so it is really hard to encourage each other if we ourselves are not encouraged...I dunno if any of that even makes any sence but w/e.
Like ever since I got back from camp i've wanted to sleep and sleep just so I don't have to think about not being with the jax kids. I want to go to bed and not wake up until I can go to see them again. That way I don't have to think about them all the time and dwell on the sadness and lonlyness I feel when I am not around them....ah and I really need to talk to he who must not be named like geez ever since we left camp I can't stop thinking about how I wish things were different and that maybe I should have done somthing differntly....ah ok I don't know, i'm pretty much spent so ttyl.