it's been a while...

[colormeskinny]

since i've posted anything on lj.. mostly because i've been trying to get my shit together lately, yenno?
anyways... getting my shit together has been harder than i'd imagined.
i mean wow... life as an adult is really fucking hard.
just like making that transition from teen years into adulthood is so stressful.

-sighs-

o and i realized something last night..
well, to me anyway.. my eating disorder is like a drug.
sometimes i hate it, but i can't get rid of it..
i can't stop it no matter how much it hurts me..
and what's worse is that i'm so deep in my ed now that i am so confused about my body image.
i seriously have no idea if i'm thin or fat or average or what.
it pisses me off that i go thru all this shit on the inside but i have nothing to show for it in the physical world.