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im in such a weird weird mood. Its like i'm depressed, but i have no right to be. It's just that damn loneliness thing that i get sometimes. Like last night i just started crying cuz i felt so lonely. Which was ridiculous since just a few hours earlier i had been out with jen having a good time. But yet i still feel so like alone. Or maybe its not alone as much as this need for a more fulfilled existance. I dunno when it comes down to it i just want to feel like someone out there loves me as much as i love them. but of course its even more specific than that. And everytime i see him i feel it more. And not only that i feel how stupid it is for me to love him. And the more stupid i feel the more i love him. I hate it. Also i realized that i haven't written any poetry since the summer began. So i tried to, but it was all crap crap crap and i didn't get past the first lines. so whatever i dunno. Im gonna go take a really hot shower cuz that ussually relaxes me.