(no subject)
My chest feels like it’s going to explode. It doesn’t hurt; it’s just an incredibly dull feeling. At the same time breathing gets harder and harder and I break down. Just like that. I’m on my knees, crying. The tears stream down my face and I don’t even know why. My head is bent as I hold my stomach. Again, it doesn’t hurt. It’s more like the uncomfortable feeling you get in your stomach when you’re on a roaler coaster ride. There’s a weight upon me that keeps me from getting back to my feet. What it is, I don’t know, but it feels like someone’s hands are lying on my shoulders, pushing me down. Every time I try to get up they push me down a bit harder. I want to get up. My chest and my stomach get worse to a point where I can’t take it anymore. I’m no longer trying to hold myself together because I don’t have the strength to do so; physically and mentally. Still I don’t know why this all happens, but I let it all out; I let out all the tears I couldn’t hold back anyway. I collapse under the pressure forced upon me until I can’t cry anymore, until I don’t feel anything anymore. Then I neither feel hurt, nor anything else anymore. It’s like I’m completely empty for a few minutes.
This has never happened to me until a couple of days ago, and since then it happened quite often. What is wrong with me? I haven’t told anyone because I don’t want them to worry, but this is definitely not usual, at least not for me.
This has never happened to me until a couple of days ago, and since then it happened quite often. What is wrong with me? I haven’t told anyone because I don’t want them to worry, but this is definitely not usual, at least not for me.