Indifferent to the mundane
It's funny when I think about how far I've come. What I mean to say is that for some who do take me seriously I use to be this uptight girl. I wouldn't partake in drinking and no drugs of anysort. I refused my meds all throughout highschool. I would have been a bit more sane towards my then boyfriend and that would be the extent that they(meds) would have helped me. Moving on though, I have had alot of fun from then to now. And it seems to be at a halt, no doubt because I am the one holding myself back.
I can't help but be aware of the responsibilities that I need to take care of and if I go out and do the things that come my way, I know that I will have a blatant disreguard for my responsibilities. I can't help that. I love to live in the moment, not fuck off my future of course not. But I have and will always live up to my own standards and have no regrets. I love that if things go wrong I can only blame my self for making the choices that I have made. But there have been times in my life that my surroundings are imperative to the equation and therefor hold a sort of influence to my decision making.
What I do know is that when I get out of this situation that I am currently in...where I am prohibited from doing what ale's me. I honestly can say that I am revolted at the thought that I am restricted, only because I know that I make fairly good decisions. I am only human and I admit that I may slip up from time to time and make stupid rash decisions and that is when I lean myself and I learn myself good. I don't like fucking myself. haha
I can't help but be aware of the responsibilities that I need to take care of and if I go out and do the things that come my way, I know that I will have a blatant disreguard for my responsibilities. I can't help that. I love to live in the moment, not fuck off my future of course not. But I have and will always live up to my own standards and have no regrets. I love that if things go wrong I can only blame my self for making the choices that I have made. But there have been times in my life that my surroundings are imperative to the equation and therefor hold a sort of influence to my decision making.
What I do know is that when I get out of this situation that I am currently in...where I am prohibited from doing what ale's me. I honestly can say that I am revolted at the thought that I am restricted, only because I know that I make fairly good decisions. I am only human and I admit that I may slip up from time to time and make stupid rash decisions and that is when I lean myself and I learn myself good. I don't like fucking myself. haha