justprompts - Sold
When did sex become a gauge for his general.. well, life? He sat on the balcony alone, a can of Bud in his hand as the Lantean wind ruffled his hair pleasantly; he didn't get in nearly enough alone time. Alone time that wasn't spent with a pen in his hand, in any case. Yes, okay, he was a sexual guy. But he knew that Rodney.. wasn't, from square one.
So what the fuck was he doing?
Only time would tell, and he took a long sip, Lantean moons reflecting against the ocean, bathing him in pale moonlight. This was his favorite time for everything. He felt like time stood still and he could reach out and grab it, like so many tendrils of string - or maybe vines - tangling around him; suspending him here for always.
If only.
Rodney didn't get it, he supposed. The need to become one. Share skin with another person... He let his head hit the wall behind him as he drained the can, feeling lightheaded even as he crumpled it in his hand, letting it drop beside him as he gathered his knees close to his chest. He could make himself small or big, at will, but none of it made any of this feel better; feel right. He was missing.. god, something and he couldn't fucking place what.
"I can wait," he mouthed to himself. But, did he even know how? He was instant gratification man, through and through. He didn't feel like an adult, almost 39 and a USAF Colonel. Bartender and co-owner of Atlantis' new hot-spot... "Fuck, I'm old."
He banged his head against the wall this time, blinking blearily up at nameless stars. He wanted to name them all 'Rodney' because it was all he could fucking see. Sighing, he leant his chin on his knees and stayed still for as long as he could; long as he'd ever, it felt like.
Was this it? Was it the end? And was the world ending or merely.. the Shep dynasty, at last falling in the form of a surprisingly humbling arrogant-as-hell Scientist.
He wasn't Mr. Monogamy, and he wasn't Colonel Waits-for-Sex. And here he was, his metaphorical dick in his hand as he.. did just that. Anything Rodney wanted.
Was he whipped or what?
John was done, sold down the river and bought for bread...
He loved Rodney, and that didn't feel so scary to say right now. Maybe it was the modicum of alcohol he had had... or maybe it was the fact he still hadn't said it, not aloud. Knowing himself, he might never.
Sex wasn't important... Not when he had this. It was new and exciting in new, exciting ways. He felt owned... and warm, and so many things he had never felt.
But most of all? He felt Rodney. Rodney's heartbeat steady beside him, no matter how far they were. And when he looked out over the ocean, he could swear he could see he and McKay, on the beach, shirtless and carefree and no DADT to bog them down.
And life didn't feel... like high school anymore.
Muse: Colonel John Sheppard
Fandom: Stargate: Atlantis
Word Count: 523
So what the fuck was he doing?
Only time would tell, and he took a long sip, Lantean moons reflecting against the ocean, bathing him in pale moonlight. This was his favorite time for everything. He felt like time stood still and he could reach out and grab it, like so many tendrils of string - or maybe vines - tangling around him; suspending him here for always.
If only.
Rodney didn't get it, he supposed. The need to become one. Share skin with another person... He let his head hit the wall behind him as he drained the can, feeling lightheaded even as he crumpled it in his hand, letting it drop beside him as he gathered his knees close to his chest. He could make himself small or big, at will, but none of it made any of this feel better; feel right. He was missing.. god, something and he couldn't fucking place what.
"I can wait," he mouthed to himself. But, did he even know how? He was instant gratification man, through and through. He didn't feel like an adult, almost 39 and a USAF Colonel. Bartender and co-owner of Atlantis' new hot-spot... "Fuck, I'm old."
He banged his head against the wall this time, blinking blearily up at nameless stars. He wanted to name them all 'Rodney' because it was all he could fucking see. Sighing, he leant his chin on his knees and stayed still for as long as he could; long as he'd ever, it felt like.
Was this it? Was it the end? And was the world ending or merely.. the Shep dynasty, at last falling in the form of a surprisingly humbling arrogant-as-hell Scientist.
He wasn't Mr. Monogamy, and he wasn't Colonel Waits-for-Sex. And here he was, his metaphorical dick in his hand as he.. did just that. Anything Rodney wanted.
Was he whipped or what?
John was done, sold down the river and bought for bread...
He loved Rodney, and that didn't feel so scary to say right now. Maybe it was the modicum of alcohol he had had... or maybe it was the fact he still hadn't said it, not aloud. Knowing himself, he might never.
Sex wasn't important... Not when he had this. It was new and exciting in new, exciting ways. He felt owned... and warm, and so many things he had never felt.
But most of all? He felt Rodney. Rodney's heartbeat steady beside him, no matter how far they were. And when he looked out over the ocean, he could swear he could see he and McKay, on the beach, shirtless and carefree and no DADT to bog them down.
And life didn't feel... like high school anymore.
Muse: Colonel John Sheppard
Fandom: Stargate: Atlantis
Word Count: 523