blah
I have THE worst cramps for having taken medicine already
I always forget and this time I actually remembered and they STILL suck!
I feel awful
I'm at the library right now... I'm in so much pain, it's hard to concentrate
I can barely stand up and I'm super sensitive... in all ways
and my bf is making me feel so stupid... doesn't even take a stab at what could be going on...
he knows that I haven't been feeling well anyway... that should be enough
I went home and had to take more meds, put on an icy hot patch... make sure I had my girly stuff with me... as well as gather all my books and stuff up and a monster
it really did NOT take that long to do all that
but wtf he acted like i took SO long
umm hello if I didn't do all that I'd be screwed right now
and I still feel screwed... if he had just been nice I wouldn't feel so fucking shitty right now
I can't stop thinking about how stupid he made me feel when I left my room... when I was fairly proud of myself for getting all that stuff done rather quickly... uggghh
and if he had just been supportive ... wtf does he think I'm doing? That I just randomly wouldn't hurry when it's not to my advantage at all??!! how much of a ditz does he think I am?
God he makes me feel so dumb!!
and yet I think he's not completely opening his fucking mind up to fucking think "hmm she probably is just taking care of something" ... or he could have asked if I were ok while I was in there... I couldn't even sit next to him anymore I felt so shitty
I didn't NOT want to be with him... it's just I need a hug from him and I need him to actually just tell me he'll understand or even just try to without giving me sass! how would I ever feel better if the sass is what made me so sad in the first place?
...
ugh I just want to get this Spanish stuff done!
but honestly I really could use a supportive hug from him... I feel like we are NOT on a good note since he hurt me, didn't express anything in words, just in sass... so I had to GUESS at why he was acting like that... then after I guess he's like "well I just don't get why you would say you want to get there fast and then go slow in your room" or something to that effect... which came out real bitchy and made me feel dumb... like HELLO... wtf so you just ASSUME I'm "going slow" but "can't" ASSUME anything else like maybe I was fucking trying to take care of myself so I could actually survive tonight and get stuff done!?!
and why would he suddenly mouth off... he could have given me a subtle clue WHILE I was in my room... like "hey honey! we better get there fast and find a seat before other crazy late-nighters go and take over" or SOMETHING that's not completely fucking offensive/bitchy sounding!
Ugh he is such a girl... just sighing and giving looks... making me guess at what's going on.
Then after all that ALL I fucking wanted was an "ohh ok well yeah I should probably assume you were takin meds or something, and that you did want to go fast and wouldn't just hold yourself up for no reason... I'll remember that in the future"
and then give me a hug, realize how much I'm fucking trying to make my brain and my body work right now and be fucking supportive!
instead I get all this sass and all this talk... blah blah blah... no support
fuck that
I'm so much more fucking tired than I was a couple hours ago... we got back at like 9... how the FUCK is it 1AM!?!
ooo if he knew how ANGRY I was right now and how stressed I get as the number of hours to work goes down and the number of hours I've been awake goes up ajksdfhjkafhka ughhh
and I TRY to tell him, but he's so fucking pissy I feel like if I interrupt him for all of 2 second he'll get all mad
well fuck him for not communicating in the first place
I always forget and this time I actually remembered and they STILL suck!
I feel awful
I'm at the library right now... I'm in so much pain, it's hard to concentrate
I can barely stand up and I'm super sensitive... in all ways
and my bf is making me feel so stupid... doesn't even take a stab at what could be going on...
he knows that I haven't been feeling well anyway... that should be enough
I went home and had to take more meds, put on an icy hot patch... make sure I had my girly stuff with me... as well as gather all my books and stuff up and a monster
it really did NOT take that long to do all that
but wtf he acted like i took SO long
umm hello if I didn't do all that I'd be screwed right now
and I still feel screwed... if he had just been nice I wouldn't feel so fucking shitty right now
I can't stop thinking about how stupid he made me feel when I left my room... when I was fairly proud of myself for getting all that stuff done rather quickly... uggghh
and if he had just been supportive ... wtf does he think I'm doing? That I just randomly wouldn't hurry when it's not to my advantage at all??!! how much of a ditz does he think I am?
God he makes me feel so dumb!!
and yet I think he's not completely opening his fucking mind up to fucking think "hmm she probably is just taking care of something" ... or he could have asked if I were ok while I was in there... I couldn't even sit next to him anymore I felt so shitty
I didn't NOT want to be with him... it's just I need a hug from him and I need him to actually just tell me he'll understand or even just try to without giving me sass! how would I ever feel better if the sass is what made me so sad in the first place?
...
ugh I just want to get this Spanish stuff done!
but honestly I really could use a supportive hug from him... I feel like we are NOT on a good note since he hurt me, didn't express anything in words, just in sass... so I had to GUESS at why he was acting like that... then after I guess he's like "well I just don't get why you would say you want to get there fast and then go slow in your room" or something to that effect... which came out real bitchy and made me feel dumb... like HELLO... wtf so you just ASSUME I'm "going slow" but "can't" ASSUME anything else like maybe I was fucking trying to take care of myself so I could actually survive tonight and get stuff done!?!
and why would he suddenly mouth off... he could have given me a subtle clue WHILE I was in my room... like "hey honey! we better get there fast and find a seat before other crazy late-nighters go and take over" or SOMETHING that's not completely fucking offensive/bitchy sounding!
Ugh he is such a girl... just sighing and giving looks... making me guess at what's going on.
Then after all that ALL I fucking wanted was an "ohh ok well yeah I should probably assume you were takin meds or something, and that you did want to go fast and wouldn't just hold yourself up for no reason... I'll remember that in the future"
and then give me a hug, realize how much I'm fucking trying to make my brain and my body work right now and be fucking supportive!
instead I get all this sass and all this talk... blah blah blah... no support
fuck that
I'm so much more fucking tired than I was a couple hours ago... we got back at like 9... how the FUCK is it 1AM!?!
ooo if he knew how ANGRY I was right now and how stressed I get as the number of hours to work goes down and the number of hours I've been awake goes up ajksdfhjkafhka ughhh
and I TRY to tell him, but he's so fucking pissy I feel like if I interrupt him for all of 2 second he'll get all mad
well fuck him for not communicating in the first place