It's weird, I guess. When I think about my life when I get older, I am never in communication with my sister or my family in general. When I think about when I get married, my father doesn't walk me down the aisle and sometimes my family isn't even there. I know that is an odd way to describe how I feel about my family, but it's the best I got. I just most of the time feel so detached from them. I try so hard to be a good daughter/sister. I do whatever the ask of me in hopes that one day I will fully be accepted in to the family. When my sister isn't around, I feel so close to my parents, but now that she has graduated from college, I will never get that alone time with parents that I crave. She makes everything in my life so much harder than it has to be. She demands all the attend and takes it out on me because whether or not it's good or bad attention she needs it. I think, now, that is why is does what she does because we are always talking about her. Maybe that is not right, but I am starting to see everything come together.
I think not talking to her won't fix anything, but I think that is the point. I don't want to fix anything with her. I am tired of dealing with her because she isn't my sister to me. She is acts like an overbearing, catty mother. She will never apologize for what has been said and I am no longer apologizing for things I never did or don't feel sorry for. I in no way feel bad about Mike or anything. I use to just give everyone a blank apologize in an attempt to fix things when I had done nothing wrong.
As for my parents, they recognize that this situation is not all my fault, but they still have tendency to yell at me automatically and gently talk to her about what she has done wrong. It's bullshit and I keep telling my mom this and she does nothing different. I can't fix everything and I am not going to try.
(separate comment for the Explosions concert because this is a happy comment)
It was amazing. I can't even think of any other word to describe it other than intense. I have to say it was almost better than seeing any other band because without words to sing along you actually watch what the band is doing. And it was a gift to see how they react and deliver the music they created. For me, it felt like an exorcism like the music was going through my body and talking all the pain/stress/bad shit that was inside of me. I was more emotionally drain than anything when it ended.
It was their 10 year anniversary of being a band show. Everyone in the crowd was so mellow and it was great. A drunk guy walking in front me informed me that he was just going to the bathroom and he was not trying to steal my spot because he waited a long time, too. And my friend and I stood behind this group of 13 yearolds that appeared to be involved in a love triangle. The one boy was holding this girl, but every so often he would touch the other boy. Later the girl was getting close to the other boy it was weird. And during the last song, someone yelled 'FUCK YEAH' just as the song was building up to its end. A+ show, get your college degree, save some money, and come live with me where that is when you finish college then I will take to see all the greatest bands in the world starting with Explosions.
Setlist:
Memorial The Birth and Death of Day A Song for Our Fathers Your Hand in Mine Snow and Lights Greet Death A Poor Man's Memory Catastrophe and the Cure The Only Moment We Were Alone
I think not talking to her won't fix anything, but I think that is the point. I don't want to fix anything with her. I am tired of dealing with her because she isn't my sister to me. She is acts like an overbearing, catty mother. She will never apologize for what has been said and I am no longer apologizing for things I never did or don't feel sorry for. I in no way feel bad about Mike or anything. I use to just give everyone a blank apologize in an attempt to fix things when I had done nothing wrong.
As for my parents, they recognize that this situation is not all my fault, but they still have tendency to yell at me automatically and gently talk to her about what she has done wrong. It's bullshit and I keep telling my mom this and she does nothing different. I can't fix everything and I am not going to try.
Reply
It was amazing. I can't even think of any other word to describe it other than intense. I have to say it was almost better than seeing any other band because without words to sing along you actually watch what the band is doing. And it was a gift to see how they react and deliver the music they created. For me, it felt like an exorcism like the music was going through my body and talking all the pain/stress/bad shit that was inside of me. I was more emotionally drain than anything when it ended.
It was their 10 year anniversary of being a band show. Everyone in the crowd was so mellow and it was great. A drunk guy walking in front me informed me that he was just going to the bathroom and he was not trying to steal my spot because he waited a long time, too. And my friend and I stood behind this group of 13 yearolds that appeared to be involved in a love triangle. The one boy was holding this girl, but every so often he would touch the other boy. Later the girl was getting close to the other boy it was weird. And during the last song, someone yelled 'FUCK YEAH' just as the song was building up to its end. A+ show, get your college degree, save some money, and come live with me where that is when you finish college then I will take to see all the greatest bands in the world starting with Explosions.
Setlist:
Memorial
The Birth and Death of Day
A Song for Our Fathers
Your Hand in Mine
Snow and Lights
Greet Death
A Poor Man's Memory
Catastrophe and the Cure
The Only Moment We Were Alone
Reply
Leave a comment