writting on the wall.
( warning, the cut is long, but if you read it, you might like it. )
hearts are born with holes, mine has never truly healed.
I tried shoving love and mushy stuff into the hole once, but it gave me an infection.
I had to take antibiotics.
its better off empty.
I wonder if people ever name the triggers of their guns.
the bullets almost always have the name of the owner, or the victim. depends on how you see it.
and sometimes people just name the gun, its usually some weird name like " Betsy " or "ol blue ," just some random name.
I think my trigger would be named ' adeus '.
grave yards creep me out.
I always fear that I'm walking on the bodies, and that they might get angry with me for stepping on them.
Maybe that's why I don't want to be buried. I don't want to be ambushed by the bodies that I've stepped on.
dead bodies creep me out.
A thought about leaving town and never coming back crosses my mind sometimes.
I'm not sure how to keep it from happening. It just runs into me and I think about it for hours.
I think we just wrecked again. I hope my thought has insurance.
Do you think other people fear the same thing as myself? You know. Spiders and death.
I think spiders should be the symbol of death. Their great at their job. killing.
He says he fears the same things as me.
What do you think children fear? The loss of a toy? maybe the loss of a parent?
When I was young. I don't think I feared anything. I would crawl under the house, I would play in spider webs.
maybe we grow into our fears.
The boys used to chase the girls around with locus' in Kansas where I used to live.
They were so loud, and so annoyingly scared. They screamed all the time.
sometimes I still hear it. It makes me miss home.
makes me miss myself.
Life is easier when your small and sheltered.
You're nieve to everything around you.
boys have cooties. girls have cooties.
we're all just one big disease.
Are you scared of growing up? yea. me too.
I hate those paths that make you choose where you're going to go and who you're going to be.
I never know which one to take. I always try to chose the more appealing one..
but looks can be deceiving.
do you think people who fear death but love a good murder are strange?
I dont.
I hate death. Love murder.
I've even tried to create the perfect murder. you know. just in case.
I fear that window of mine and the shadows that lurk on the other side.
I'm constantly watching it like its a rerun of some really bad show.
I always think I see things run past, or duck before I can see their shadows.
it freaks me out and makes me scared. thats when I think of murder the most.
what do you think its like to die? maybe.
but what if you just didnt wake up one day.
I'd probably go crazy, and then realize that
"hey, i'm in heaven/hell, and I might as well have a good time, drinks are on me "
I think i'd wanna be re-incarnated. yea. that'd be cool.
i guess thats when its the end.
someone names the trigger on their gun, then they use it for murder.
a spider crawls into the dead body,, a hole in the heart is where it lives.
a small youth chases his friends with locus' ,that he found under his house, across the cemetary,
while screaming about cooties.
he has the same disease. and grows into the fear of death and never wants to get older.
He enjoys murder, and hates shadows. He tries to take a different path to school everyday.
He wonders what its like to die and knows that in the end, we all do.