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Aug 29, 2005 17:24


wow, i haven't updated in forever! i feel bad for not updating, but.. i have school and stuff and it's hard to find time =/ but anyhow.. the past weekend was like so awesome! i went to kim's with kt and edin of course ;) we made it like our last weekend together before summer ended. even though i had been to school for 3 days last week which = gay to the max. when everyone else goes back to school today and tomorrow. but they'll regret pickin' on me for going back early.. when i get out a week earlier than them ;) so over the weekend we definitely raised a lot of hell. wow. you know how we do :D and we went to the little league world series both days we could. ahh those boys♥ hehe. i felt so bad for kim though.. because she has a little boyfriend from latin america. (the boys we were hanging out with) and it was like so sad when they had to say god bye. and we actually got kicked out for it.. 2 times. haha. well i mean they could be meant to be forever.. and the damn secruity guards wouldn't let us go past the curb to talk to them. and it was pathetic, they had to kiss through the fence when we left. fuckin' secruity wouldn't even let them touch each other. if they saw you got a warning, then kicked out. oh well, they were makin' out all the time when security wasn't there. hehe. but like when kim ran up to the fence and they kissed for the last time.. wow, so sad. he gave her his phone number and it's like a zillions numbers long because he's from venezuela. so yeah, they spoke spanish. but that made them like 10 times sexier, and it was so much more interesting trying to talk to them. ya' know.. we always talk to boys in english, and it was just neat :P haha. so it was definitely a weekend to never forget! "i luuhhh youuuu!" yeah i love my best friends so much, and i miss them so much =/ so school has been okay.. i guess. i mean it's school. fuckin' retarded and boring. right? yeah. i definitely miss middle school like whoa. the teachers there were so much more awesome. miss putt♥ and plus last year i met gretchen at that school, so i like miss her too =/ and amanda went back to college like on saturday and she doesn't have internet or cable in her apartment yet =( tear* i miss her too :P haha, do i miss too many people? but recently.. tierra and i aren't allowed to talk / hang out. and she's like one of the few people i can actually stand at school :P but since i'm "bad" we can't hang out. and we can only talk in school, not even on the computer. bummer right? yeah, it sucks. i was really upset at first but then i talked to miss putt about it awhile and i guess i'm more understanding of it or whatever now. still sucks though. so my stepmom and my dad got back together like a couple of weeks ago. that's one of the few things that makes me happy lately. i missed her so much, and i'm glad they are back together. hmm laguna beach is on tonight. yay.. something to actually look forward to. ugh, yeah i hate school so much. uasually by like half the year i have the.. "don't want to get up, don't want to dress nicely, don't give a fuck" attitude about school, but it's only the 5 day and i feel like that already feel like that. is that bad? usually i enjoy school for like the first to 2 weeks at least, and then i put up with it until half the year, then i get like that. and i'm really bitchy about it. i guess i'm just frustrated because i don't like the change..

like i miss, miss putt so much. and i miss like unlocking her door every morning and saying good morning. and her getting me out of class to talk to me.. and making me feel 100% better when i'm sad. and like all she had to do was give me a hug, and i felt better.. and she was like the smartest person and always knew just what to say. and she could always tell when something was wrong. also, i loved making her day. i loved doing stuff that'd make her smile, or giving her a hug when she was sad. just like stupid shit. i don't know.. i feel retarded. sorry i keep going on about this. but i do really miss her.. uhg.. i know so stupid to miss a teacher. whatever, everyone thinks that. but i should have never gotten attached to her.. that's what i get, right? once and while we talk on the phone.. and we text each other, but it's not the same. like the comfort of actually having her there everyday. sometimes i just get like really sad about it, and i then i cry a lot.. and then the next day i think, god megan, you're so stupid.. why do you miss a teacher so much? and i'm definitely like jealous of every student she has this year.. i won't even talk to my friend that has her, like she doesn't know that.. but i've tried avoiding her bcause of that :| that's totally horrible of me. but i don't want to share miss putt, i don't want her to give advice to anyone else, i don't want her to cheer anyone else up, i don't want anyone liking her at all. i know, i'm so jealous. it's pathetic right. why don't everyone just comment and tell me how pathetic it is to be so attached and miss a teacher so much, and tell me how retarded it is for me to be so jealous, like that. it's okay.. i know. yeah i know because parker told me so. right, so that's another hot issue in my life right now. he's being such an ass to me lately.. =/ he's not respecting me at all. like we'll fight, and he'll be nice for one phone call after that, and then he's flippin' out about something else. wtf? and he's saying shit to my friends, not really like about me, but kinda'. rude shit. i don't know. it's hard, i love him to death, when he's being sweet and nice and shit.. but he's been such a jerk lately. and i'm debating or not if i should break it off, and end us for a while or not? but then it's like.. as soon as i do that, he'll totally change. and be like i'm so sorry, i love you.. blah blah blah. and i fall into it. whatever.. it's hard. i don't know. but i feel like i am loosing interest in like, just being with him. because i have like not worried about what he's doing when i'm not with / talking to him, and i do whatever i want. like, lets just say i act like i don't even have a boyfriend when he's not around. haha. i feel badly about it, but he should feel badly about how he's treating me. like the other night i was at the mall enjoying myself with my best friends, and of course he has to call and flip out on me. and i was telling him how it hurts my feeling so much when he flips out, and that he just assumes things first, where i know things, talk to him about it.. then flip out. and i said you shouldn't treat me like that, just assuming.. you know. and he made the comment "megan, i'll flip out all i want.. about whatever i want" ooouch. =/ so i guess he said sorry for it later i think, but whatever.. it was still fuckin' rude! but laguna beach is on in 10 minutes.. whoo. so i'm out. i'll update as soon as possible. i loveeee you people  :)
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