Pass me a black hoodie and slit my wrists - I'm Emo.
Something needs to be done.
ASAP.
I am so disappointed with the music of today.
This ridiculous "Emolution" is taking over the world.
...And I think people are confused about what it is to be "emo."
I will do everyone a favor and explain in the most general of terms what "emo" is and is not -
EMO IS : terrible.
EMO IS NOT : not terrible.
Yes, I realize that's jumping the gun a bit.
If you want a more descriptive ...description, read on.
I consulted the most accurate and superior of all sources - UrbanDictionary.com - and it gave me several top-notch definitions:
1. Emo - Genre of softcore punk music that integrates unenthusiastic melodramatic 17 year olds who don't smile, high pitched overwrought lyrics and inaudible guitar rifts with tight wool sweaters, tighter jeans, itchy scarves (even in the summer), ripped chucks with favorite bands signature, black square rimmed glasses, and ebony greasy unwashed hair that is required to cover at least 3/5ths of the face at an angle.
Example: * * Sniff Sniff * * "The Demise of the Siberian TrainTracks of Our Rusty Forgotten Unblemished Love" sounds like it would make a great emo band name. * Cry *
2. Emo - Punk music on estrogen. Often acoustic guitar with soft, high male vocals that dwell excessively on the singer's feelings, especially melancholy remembrances of past relationships/mistakes in life. A form of music that diverged from punk in the 80s, the name "emo" is derived from the emotive styles of the lyrics and music. This genre has lately been marketed heavily by the music industry to teenagers with bands such as Dashboard Confessional and Taking Back Sunday, and has seen much commercial and mainstream success. The music has also spawned a subculture which conforms to certain conventions in dress, such as tight sweatshirts, tight band T-shirts and horn-rim glasses. Adherents profess to excessively melancholy temperaments. Males that adhere to the emo subculture are sometimes confused with metrosexuals; indeed, the line between the two is somewhat blurred, though both groups claim to be in touch with their emotional side. The ephemeral and hackneyed nature of emo songwriting suggests that its audience will be restricted largely to teenagers. The genre suffers from a lack of credibility outside the aforementioned demographic group, much like current Nu Metal bands.
Example :
Girlfriend: C'mon let's have sex.
Boyfriend: I'm too sad to have sex.
Girlfriend: I'm sad too. Let's have sex and cry.
Boyfriend: I'm already crying.
3. Emo - An entire subculture of people (usually angsty teens) with a fake personality. The concept of "emo" is actually a vicious cycle that never ends, due to the utter failing of humanity, and it goes something like this:
1. Girls say they like "sensitive guys" (lie)
2. Guy finds out, so he listens to faggy emo music and dresses like a dork so chicks will see that he is sensitive and not afraid to express himself (lie). He dyes his hair black, wraps himself in a stupid looking scarf, develops an eating disorder, and rants about how "nobody understands."
3. Now an emo guy, he meets Emo Chick, and they start dating, talking about how their well-off suburban lifestyles are terrible and depressing (lie).
4. Emo guy is just too much of a pussy. His penis is too small, he's too depressed to bathe, and has more mood swings than Emo Chick, although he doesn't even have a menstrual cycle. Emo Chick dumps him, saying, "It's not you, it's me," (lie), as she drives off with Wayne, the school jock and captain of the football team.
5. Emo guy goes home and cries, proceeds to write a weak song and strum a single string on his acoustic guitar. Another Emo Chick sees how he is so in touch with his feelings, and the cycle continues.
Example: "When she sees how sensitive and emo I have become, she'll definitely go out with me!"
4. Emo - Emu spelled incorrectly.
Example: "That emo sure is fast!"
*
As if you couldn't guess, definition #4 is obviously my favorite.
Anyway, my question is this: what happened to real teen angst?
Aren't teenagers supposed to be pissed off, and thusly try to take their lives into their own hands in a rowdy and furious way? Where are the mohawks and cigarettes that are typically associated with teenage rebellion?
Where have the BALLS GONE!?
Being "emo" is not cool.
Really.
Don't ever let anyone tell you differently.
Being "emo" is ridiculous, lame, and whiney.
Guys, do you really want people to think you have no testicles?
Girls, since when do you really want a guy who's in touch with his inner feminine side? Seriously.
No spanks.
*
Also, to clear up any confusion - “emo” is not synonymous with punk rock. Punk rock is thrashy, hardcore, positive and energetic. Punk rock songs are typically about rebellion or fucking up shit. Punk rock songs are not written in reference to heartbreak, heartfelt breakups, breaks in relationships, or anything else involving the words “heart” or “break,” unless it involves breaking material things - car windows, mailboxes, etc.
A Plain and Simple Comparison between Emo and Punk Rock:
EMO: Punk Rock:
Whiney Thrashy
Softcore Hardcore
Horn-rimmed glasses No glasses
Eyeliner No eyeliner
Greasy, black hair, parted to the side Multi-colored Mohawks …or plain hair.
Tight jeans Ripped jeans
Striped sweaters Ripped denim jackets
Side-strap messenger bags Bags of drugs and explosives
Lyrics are about - Lyrics are about -
Heartbreak, love, wishing on stars, etc. Skateboarding, politics, drugs, etc.
A Plain and Simple Comparison between Emo Bands and Punk Rock Bands:
EMO: Punk Rock:
Dashboard Confessional The Ramones
Fall Out Boy The Clash
Taking Back Sunday Rancid
Funeral for a Friend G.B.H.
Coheed and Cambria Andrew W. K.
Story of the Year Bouncing Souls
Simple Plan Rites of Spring*
* (Most people attribute the beginning of the Emolution to the late 80s band Rites of Spring. I guess this is a somewhat fair attribution, based on lyrics only - but musically speaking, Rites of Spring is punk rock, no question about it. They do have relatively emotive lyrics, but I would still categorize them as punk rock.)
And for those of you who haven’t gotten the clue yet -
Emo is:
- lame
- whiney
- pussy
- softcore
- associated with a lack of testicles
- high-pitched
- talent-less guitar players and drummers
- for the people who are trying too hard to be cool.
Emo is not:
- cool
- hardcore
- rough and tough
- hip
- bad ass
- metal as fuck
- talented musicians and songwriters
- for the people who know a lot about good music.
ASAP.
I am so disappointed with the music of today.
This ridiculous "Emolution" is taking over the world.
...And I think people are confused about what it is to be "emo."
I will do everyone a favor and explain in the most general of terms what "emo" is and is not -
EMO IS : terrible.
EMO IS NOT : not terrible.
Yes, I realize that's jumping the gun a bit.
If you want a more descriptive ...description, read on.
I consulted the most accurate and superior of all sources - UrbanDictionary.com - and it gave me several top-notch definitions:
1. Emo - Genre of softcore punk music that integrates unenthusiastic melodramatic 17 year olds who don't smile, high pitched overwrought lyrics and inaudible guitar rifts with tight wool sweaters, tighter jeans, itchy scarves (even in the summer), ripped chucks with favorite bands signature, black square rimmed glasses, and ebony greasy unwashed hair that is required to cover at least 3/5ths of the face at an angle.
Example: * * Sniff Sniff * * "The Demise of the Siberian TrainTracks of Our Rusty Forgotten Unblemished Love" sounds like it would make a great emo band name. * Cry *
2. Emo - Punk music on estrogen. Often acoustic guitar with soft, high male vocals that dwell excessively on the singer's feelings, especially melancholy remembrances of past relationships/mistakes in life. A form of music that diverged from punk in the 80s, the name "emo" is derived from the emotive styles of the lyrics and music. This genre has lately been marketed heavily by the music industry to teenagers with bands such as Dashboard Confessional and Taking Back Sunday, and has seen much commercial and mainstream success. The music has also spawned a subculture which conforms to certain conventions in dress, such as tight sweatshirts, tight band T-shirts and horn-rim glasses. Adherents profess to excessively melancholy temperaments. Males that adhere to the emo subculture are sometimes confused with metrosexuals; indeed, the line between the two is somewhat blurred, though both groups claim to be in touch with their emotional side. The ephemeral and hackneyed nature of emo songwriting suggests that its audience will be restricted largely to teenagers. The genre suffers from a lack of credibility outside the aforementioned demographic group, much like current Nu Metal bands.
Example :
Girlfriend: C'mon let's have sex.
Boyfriend: I'm too sad to have sex.
Girlfriend: I'm sad too. Let's have sex and cry.
Boyfriend: I'm already crying.
3. Emo - An entire subculture of people (usually angsty teens) with a fake personality. The concept of "emo" is actually a vicious cycle that never ends, due to the utter failing of humanity, and it goes something like this:
1. Girls say they like "sensitive guys" (lie)
2. Guy finds out, so he listens to faggy emo music and dresses like a dork so chicks will see that he is sensitive and not afraid to express himself (lie). He dyes his hair black, wraps himself in a stupid looking scarf, develops an eating disorder, and rants about how "nobody understands."
3. Now an emo guy, he meets Emo Chick, and they start dating, talking about how their well-off suburban lifestyles are terrible and depressing (lie).
4. Emo guy is just too much of a pussy. His penis is too small, he's too depressed to bathe, and has more mood swings than Emo Chick, although he doesn't even have a menstrual cycle. Emo Chick dumps him, saying, "It's not you, it's me," (lie), as she drives off with Wayne, the school jock and captain of the football team.
5. Emo guy goes home and cries, proceeds to write a weak song and strum a single string on his acoustic guitar. Another Emo Chick sees how he is so in touch with his feelings, and the cycle continues.
Example: "When she sees how sensitive and emo I have become, she'll definitely go out with me!"
4. Emo - Emu spelled incorrectly.
Example: "That emo sure is fast!"
*
As if you couldn't guess, definition #4 is obviously my favorite.
Anyway, my question is this: what happened to real teen angst?
Aren't teenagers supposed to be pissed off, and thusly try to take their lives into their own hands in a rowdy and furious way? Where are the mohawks and cigarettes that are typically associated with teenage rebellion?
Where have the BALLS GONE!?
Being "emo" is not cool.
Really.
Don't ever let anyone tell you differently.
Being "emo" is ridiculous, lame, and whiney.
Guys, do you really want people to think you have no testicles?
Girls, since when do you really want a guy who's in touch with his inner feminine side? Seriously.
No spanks.
*
Also, to clear up any confusion - “emo” is not synonymous with punk rock. Punk rock is thrashy, hardcore, positive and energetic. Punk rock songs are typically about rebellion or fucking up shit. Punk rock songs are not written in reference to heartbreak, heartfelt breakups, breaks in relationships, or anything else involving the words “heart” or “break,” unless it involves breaking material things - car windows, mailboxes, etc.
A Plain and Simple Comparison between Emo and Punk Rock:
EMO: Punk Rock:
Whiney Thrashy
Softcore Hardcore
Horn-rimmed glasses No glasses
Eyeliner No eyeliner
Greasy, black hair, parted to the side Multi-colored Mohawks …or plain hair.
Tight jeans Ripped jeans
Striped sweaters Ripped denim jackets
Side-strap messenger bags Bags of drugs and explosives
Lyrics are about - Lyrics are about -
Heartbreak, love, wishing on stars, etc. Skateboarding, politics, drugs, etc.
A Plain and Simple Comparison between Emo Bands and Punk Rock Bands:
EMO: Punk Rock:
Dashboard Confessional The Ramones
Fall Out Boy The Clash
Taking Back Sunday Rancid
Funeral for a Friend G.B.H.
Coheed and Cambria Andrew W. K.
Story of the Year Bouncing Souls
Simple Plan Rites of Spring*
* (Most people attribute the beginning of the Emolution to the late 80s band Rites of Spring. I guess this is a somewhat fair attribution, based on lyrics only - but musically speaking, Rites of Spring is punk rock, no question about it. They do have relatively emotive lyrics, but I would still categorize them as punk rock.)
And for those of you who haven’t gotten the clue yet -
Emo is:
- lame
- whiney
- pussy
- softcore
- associated with a lack of testicles
- high-pitched
- talent-less guitar players and drummers
- for the people who are trying too hard to be cool.
Emo is not:
- cool
- hardcore
- rough and tough
- hip
- bad ass
- metal as fuck
- talented musicians and songwriters
- for the people who know a lot about good music.