I haven't posted on here in quite some time...
Dear Livejournal,
I haven't posted here in quite some time, but I felt that I had to put some of my thoughts onto paper. I'm travelling this week, away from home. And everything seems very distant.
I'm going through a stressful time in my life. I don't know if other people go through the same troubles as me. Sometimes I wonder if what I'm going through is more the norm than the public chooses to express. But it would be nice to know that other people go through the same trials in their life - and it all works out if you can just survive the gauntlet.
November '09 I took a new role at Dell as a systems consultant in the field. For me, it was an opportunity I thought I would never get. For many on the inside, we aspired to get to the field to gain experience you wouldn't get staying in your cube... It always seemed like it was out of reach. With support and drive from Randy I pursued this career path. We wanted to stay in Texas - there was Houston opportunity, but that fell through. I accepted a role in Ohio, and brought my family (Randy and Betsey Johnson) away from our own family and friends in Austin. There were other locations. We could have ended up in Boston or NYC. I am now tied to Ohio for at least another 9 months (12 months total). I think my boss's expectation was for at least 2 years.
Randy and I miss home. And we do consider Austin our home. I thought we had created a new home in Ohio after selling the house in Austin. Dirty laundry finally put to rest. But I'm finding that as time goes on Randy surprizes me. Historically she had always run or escaped situations/past lives by moving to new places. How it surprized me when she felt emotionally tied to Austin. It was the home we created together over the past 3 years.
Up here in Ohio, Randy and I only have each other. I do not know what I would do without her. I'd probably end up stressing myself out too much and suffering an untimely death before I awoke the next morning - as is my fear. I couldn't survive without her. I couldn't leave her to be alone either.
I want so badly for us to survive the rest of our lives. We're getting married on November 20th! I'm already starting to do a little digging for Dell jobs back in Austin. I know with my current position, I can bring this experience to other positions on the inside. There is a possibility of getting another field position in Texas too, though. So who knows? Maybe I'll try my hand at marketing, management, or (if I can swing it) corporate responsibility/diversity.
Coming out to Ohio was selfish of me. I knew this position would (in the long term) lead to greater things, but it disrupted some of Randy's short term plans. It may delay her going to law school. And I know that's important to her. The fact that her family isn't fairing well either doesn't help our situation. I pray for their health. (Sounds odd since I've been agnostic for such a long time - I find myself making spiritual exceptions lately. I miss Einstein the Guinea Pig, but it's comforting knowing that he's happily living near the rainbow bridge).
It's late, and I'm tired. My thoughts are so jumbled. But this helps (I think). I'm watching the Olympics before hitting the hay.
Goodnight, Randy. My day rises and sets with you.
I haven't posted here in quite some time, but I felt that I had to put some of my thoughts onto paper. I'm travelling this week, away from home. And everything seems very distant.
I'm going through a stressful time in my life. I don't know if other people go through the same troubles as me. Sometimes I wonder if what I'm going through is more the norm than the public chooses to express. But it would be nice to know that other people go through the same trials in their life - and it all works out if you can just survive the gauntlet.
November '09 I took a new role at Dell as a systems consultant in the field. For me, it was an opportunity I thought I would never get. For many on the inside, we aspired to get to the field to gain experience you wouldn't get staying in your cube... It always seemed like it was out of reach. With support and drive from Randy I pursued this career path. We wanted to stay in Texas - there was Houston opportunity, but that fell through. I accepted a role in Ohio, and brought my family (Randy and Betsey Johnson) away from our own family and friends in Austin. There were other locations. We could have ended up in Boston or NYC. I am now tied to Ohio for at least another 9 months (12 months total). I think my boss's expectation was for at least 2 years.
Randy and I miss home. And we do consider Austin our home. I thought we had created a new home in Ohio after selling the house in Austin. Dirty laundry finally put to rest. But I'm finding that as time goes on Randy surprizes me. Historically she had always run or escaped situations/past lives by moving to new places. How it surprized me when she felt emotionally tied to Austin. It was the home we created together over the past 3 years.
Up here in Ohio, Randy and I only have each other. I do not know what I would do without her. I'd probably end up stressing myself out too much and suffering an untimely death before I awoke the next morning - as is my fear. I couldn't survive without her. I couldn't leave her to be alone either.
I want so badly for us to survive the rest of our lives. We're getting married on November 20th! I'm already starting to do a little digging for Dell jobs back in Austin. I know with my current position, I can bring this experience to other positions on the inside. There is a possibility of getting another field position in Texas too, though. So who knows? Maybe I'll try my hand at marketing, management, or (if I can swing it) corporate responsibility/diversity.
Coming out to Ohio was selfish of me. I knew this position would (in the long term) lead to greater things, but it disrupted some of Randy's short term plans. It may delay her going to law school. And I know that's important to her. The fact that her family isn't fairing well either doesn't help our situation. I pray for their health. (Sounds odd since I've been agnostic for such a long time - I find myself making spiritual exceptions lately. I miss Einstein the Guinea Pig, but it's comforting knowing that he's happily living near the rainbow bridge).
It's late, and I'm tired. My thoughts are so jumbled. But this helps (I think). I'm watching the Olympics before hitting the hay.
Goodnight, Randy. My day rises and sets with you.