Fic: Lifeboat (1/2)

[jedisapphire]

Author's Note: This is a birthday present for nygirl7of9. Poor thing, I make her beta her own birthday present every year. *g*

It's split in two parts for size.

Summary: On a routine job, Sam gets caught in the crossfire of a battle between Crowley's minions and a group of rogue Angels.

Warnings: Language and violence at the level of the show. Vague spoilers through to early S10.

Lifeboat

Denial

"I'm sorry, Dean. I know how you feel."

Castiel does look sorry - and he should be sorry - but if he thinks he, or any of his winged friends, can even begin to understand how Dean feels -

"Shut up," Dean snaps. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Denial is a normal human reaction to loss -"

"If you start quoting some feel-good crap at me, I'm going to break your jaw."

"You can't break my jaw. I'm an Angel."

"You're a stupid son of a bitch. You listen to me. Sam's alive. OK? He's alive. He's survived too much to die as collateral damage from some war you guys have on with Crowley's gang. He's survived everything you divine douchebags have thrown at him. He beat Lucifer, and none of your gang even thought it was possible. He lived through the Cage and he's still sane. He survived me turning into a demon and trying to kill him -"

"I saved him."

"What?"

"Just… When you turned into a demon, Sam wasn't willing to kill you - you remember what happened, I'm sure. You were about to kill him, and I came just in time to save him."

"Do you have a point with that?"

"Just that you should keep that in mind before you start throwing holy oil at me. I saved Sam's life."

"I'm not going to throw holy oil at you," Dean says.

"That's good. I'm glad you're being reasonable."

"I don't have any holy oil. But I do have an Angel sword and none of your celestial intent is going to help you if I decide to shove it in your brain."

"Dean -"

"Sam's alive, Cas! He's not dead. He doesn't get to die. He's supposed to outlive me, those are the rules."

"Whose rules?"

"My rules! I'm the big brother! I make the rules. So Sam's alive. We just need to figure out what happened to him and where he is. So you have to tell me what happened."

"Dean, Jehoel's people were watching every entrance and exit, including garbage disposal, plumbing and air ducts. Nothing made it out without their seeing, and they didn't see Sam."

"You're not telling me what I want to hear," Dean growls.

Castiel's expression is too much like pity and Dean Winchester does not need anybody's pity, because pity is for people who've lost their little brothers, and Sammy. Isn't. Dead.

Dean knows that, he can feel it, because he knows what the world feels like without Sammy in it - he's lived in that world, and it's a horrible place. And this is not that world. The sun is shining down on the park where they're standing, and birds are chirping, and off by the fence a small girl is walking her dog. If Sammy were dead, Dean would have lost the ability to notice those things. The fact that he's noticing them means Sam's alive.

He explains that reasoning to Castiel, who just looks like he pities Dean even more.

"Tell me what happened," Dean insists.

"All right, but… Don't get your hopes up. You know Jehoel went rogue. His group has been trying to eliminate the demons altogether -"

"And you guys can't control them because you never know how to clean up your own messes. Yeah. Go on."

"They're not… They have a very different view of the divine mission from the one I have and that Hannah's trying to spread. They don't believe their purpose is to protect God's creation. They believe they're meant to destroy evil, whatever the cost. You should understand that, I know some hunters believe -"

"Cas, if you're going to tell me some crap about how Sam died in a good cause -"

"I would never say that. Killing demons is never worth it at the cost of innocent lives, and especially not your life or Sam's. But Jehoel doesn't hold that view. Sam… he was in the building interviewing a witness, right?"

"Yeah, we're here on a case."

"Well, so was Jehoel. He thought there were at least twelve demons holed up in that building, possessing various occupants."

"Twelve demons? Cas, that building has ten floors! Almost two hundred people live there. Kids live there, and little old ladies, and -"

"Yes. I know."

"So this Jehoel killed two hundred people, including children and the elderly and infirm, to get twelve demons?"

"Well, no, most of the humans were at work or school, so it was… I don't know, maybe twenty people, including the hosts. They only found nine demons in the end."

"What?"

"As I understand it, they put a giant Devil's Trap around the building, so none of the demons could get out. Then they went in and - well - they were expecting to find twelve demons, as I said, but their spells only rooted out seven. So they… Dean, I'm not making excuses for him, it was a terrible thing to do. He will be punished."

"Punished? Jehoel kills twenty innocent people and all he gets for it is punished?" Dean shakes himself. "Anyway, that's not important now. What's important is to find Sam and -"

"Dean, I didn't want to tell you this, but… One of the Angels who went in says she - don't do anything irrational, Dean - she says - I described Sam to her -"

"Cas, I swear, if you don't get to the point…"

"She stabbed him with an Angel sword. It's how they kill demons. She says she remembers stabbing him."

Dean's breath goes out of him. "What?"

"I'm sorry, Dean."

"But… But I saw the bodies, Sam wasn't there."

"Yes, about that. Some of the demons started hurling holy fire, so one of the apartments got… gutted, before the Angels could put the fire out. We didn't show you the bodies from that." Castiel squeezes his shoulder, awkwardly. "I'm so sorry, Dean."

Anger

"Who did it?" Dean asks through gritted teeth.

"What?" Castiel asks, and if he doesn't stop acting dumb and start giving Dean some answers, grilled wings are going to be on the menu tonight.

"Don't play with me about Sammy. Who stabbed him? What's her name?"

"She's being dealt with -"

"Dealt with? Dealt with? You tell me her name and I'll show you how I deal with people who mess with Sammy."

"Dean -"

"I am not kidding about this. You know the rules. Anyone who touches Sammy pays for it."

"Her name is Jerusha. Dean, we're… I promise you, we will deal with it adequately."

"I want to talk to her."

"Dean, you can't -"

"She touched Sam," Dean growls. "Don't you tell me what I can't do."

"I'm just saying it might be healthier for you to -"

"Cas." The word is a warning.

"Wouldn't Sam want you to move on?"

"Don't you dare," Dean hisses. He thinks, right then, he's angry enough to kill this Jerusha with sheer willpower. It's either anger or despair, and Dean's choice is anger. Anger is good. Anger means he can hurt the bitch who dared to attack his Sammy. "I want to talk to her."

Castiel eyes him for a moment. Then, apparently realizing Dean's not going to give in, he shrugs. "Fine. Come with me."

He Angel-ports them back to the building, and Dean has to swallow hard when he sees the blackened windows of the fourth floor apartment where Sam was interviewing the parents of Karen Tan. They'd split up that morning. Sam's puppy-dog eyes had drawn the duty of speaking to the grieving family, while Dean went to Karen's school to talk to her teachers.

"I want to go inside," Dean says abruptly.

"Dean, I don't think that's a good idea."

"I have to see, Cas!"

"I… all right. Come on. Just… Just stay calm."

Cas leads him in. The fire brigade's come and gone, and the building's deserted, bright red signs warning residents to stay away until an engineer's had a chance to certify that the structure will hold long enough to let them retrieve possessions. There's also yellow crime-scene tape; tonight the news channels are going to be rife with speculation about whether it was terrorists, gang warfare, or a serial killer.

The fourth floor smells sickeningly of the residues of fire, a smell that's haunted Dean since he carried Sam out of a burning house.

He can'thave lost Sam to a fire the way he lost his mom. He can't.

He and Cas go into one of the apartments, where a woman - no, her eyes flash blue, she's an Angel - is shackled to a chair. Two others are standing there, either guarding or interrogating, Dean's not sure.

When they see Dean, one of them scowls.

"You brought the Winchester boy? Castiel, I thought we agreed it was best to keep him away!"

"He wouldn't listen," Castiel responds, for all the world like Dean's not there. "He tends to be… irrational… when it comes to his brother."

"Yes, I know that. That's why we wanted to keep him away."

"It will be all right, Timeus," Castiel assures him. "We'll all be here. I think Dean deserves to know what happened."

"Shut up!" Dean all but yells, finally having had enough. "What is this, some kind of game to you? Let's talk over the head of the puny human, because he can't hurt us."

"Dean, that's not what we meant."

"No, that's always what you mean. You and all your buddies upstairs think you know best because you're five billion years old, but you don't know crap. Where would you be if it hadn't been for Sam and me? You would have been taking orders, from Michael or from Lucifer, it doesn't matter. They're both dicks. Or maybe you would've been taking orders from Dick Roman instead."

"If it hadn't been for your brother, we would have won the war," spits the Angel tied to the chair.

Dean turns to her. "Are you Jerusha?"

"He was supposed to play his role, but of course he couldn't. Sam Winchester and his little act of defiance cost us everything. If Michael had killed Lucifer that day, he would have led us down in glory to destroy all the filthy abominations on Earth and in Hell. We would have wiped out the demon race."

Dean stares at her. "You're insane."

"My friends and I were only trying to fulfill that mission. Your brother tried to stop me, like he thought your little human lives mattered in the face of our cause."

"What did you do to him?"

"With all that he's seen and done, I would have thought his blood would be black, but it was red. Just like everyone else's."

Something snaps in Dean. "You bitch."

He's stepping forward, but there are hands holding him back.

"Let me go, Cas," he snarls. "Let me go, I'm going to rearrange her face."

"Dean, please listen -"

"She made Sam bleed!"

"Dean!" Castiel heaves him back. "Is this what Sam would want? You going on a revenge mission?"

"No, you don't get it. The bitch hurt Sammy. I'm going to kill her. That's how it works. She doesn't get to go on living."

"Dean -"

"You're defending her?" Dean demands in disbelief. "What about all those people she killed? Is that OK these days? I thought you'd learnt something but apparently you guys are all the same, you're above people and above normal rules -"

"Guard your tongue, Dean Winchester," says the Angel called Timeus. "You forget your place."

"It's all right," Castiel says. "Dean -"

"I'm going to kill her."

"Dean, listen to me -"

"I'm going to kill her, and if you try to stop me, I'm going to find a way to do it anyway. Don't mess with me about Sammy, Cas. The only hunter who's more dangerous than Sammy is me when someone hurts my baby brother. I am going to make her eat her own wings."

"Dean!" Cas pulls him out of the room. "I'm taking you back to your motel. You need to cool off."

"Excuse me?"

"Just… Give it a week. All right? Give it a week, and then we'll figure out a way to deal with her, together. Jerusha isn't going to get away with what she did, but if you kill her in anger it'll be revenge, not justice."

"Damn straight it'll be revenge."

"Wouldn't Sam be proud of you if you went for justice instead of revenge?"

Dean stops stock-still. He can't believe Castiel just used Sammy's name to protect the bitch who -

"Get out of my sight," he says, voice soft. "Get out of my sight before I kill you, too."

Part II