Tears

[colleenhouse08]

Crying...
something i never do
for years i have barely shed a tear.
My best friend died and i didnt cry.
Am i cold hearted? No i just know
how to lock my feelings away.

So why?
Why am i crying now? Why am i
crying after an amazing night
with the people i love, with the guy
my heart belongs to?

Because i know it was to good
to be true and i know what i
have to do. The truth hurts.
Love hurts more than anything.
Every time i see him drive away
my heart rips in a million pieces.
And i cant do it anymore.
I cant sit and wonder, does he
feel the same about me?

How can i care so deeply about
someone and not know if they feel
the same about me.

I screwed up, i gave myself to him
and didn't ask for anything in return.
I set myself up for failure.
I always do. Always.
I feel like God wants me to be alone.
If thats how he wants it.
so be it.

Alone i will be