September Giraffe of the Month!
(Before you start to read and get scared...if you don't yet know about my Stalking and Murdering of a Childhood Giraffe project you should click on the pretty-ily colored underlined section of this sentence. If you are still scared after that, don't worry that feeling is quite common.)
AMAZING NEWS ABOUT THE GIRAFFE HUNT! I'm applying for my first grant for the project, a $7,000 NYFA fellowship. I spent nerely $200 (in imaginary credit card money) getting my application in beautiful shape, between the slide creation and overnighting things just to make sure they got here in time...only to find TODAY that they are making everyone do it digitally this year. ARRRRRG. Says I. Sometimes I get a little too motivated to read instructions. Fingers crossed for me folks. Eyes and legs too while you are at it.
October Giraffes Were Modest. November Giraffes Kicked Rear-Booties, December giraffes made me cry. January giraffes contained one "carafe" and lots of laughter. February, the month of the least giraffes, was chalk-full of crap. March giraffes involved blue screening fun. April I finally met some real-live ones. May giraffes were unintentionally pirate themed. June giraffes were wearable and tight in the tush. July giraffes were surreal. And in August I tipped the scales to go over 1,000 captured. And in September I drank one...
3rd place winner:
(captured with help from giraffe hunter chrissigrl, dollomite)This was shoved into a thank you note I had received months and months ago after a riotous shin-dig at M&C's place. I had completely forgotten to take a picture of it for the project until now. There's something about this picture I love as if I'm making a move to kiss a giraffe, but am completely terrified of him at the same time. I also love the fact my nose looks optical-illustiony-monsterous!
2nd place winner:
(captured with help from giraffe hunter handifunk) I know it's a paper bowl and I'm supposed to throw it away now that I've used it for one of my cereal dinners last week, but lord help me I can't part with it! Maybe I can get it laminated...
And now the 1st place SEPTEMBER GIRAFFE OF THE MONTH!:
(captured with help from giraffe hunter Mike O.)
Mike O. moved into a fancy new neighborhood with fancy new stores and fancy new people who give me fancy new "what the hell is that girl wearing" looks when I walk around with my "I voted for zombie joseph beuys for pres" tee shirt (sorry handifunk didn't mean to rub it in that you don't have one). This glay giraffe was in someone's window. I can't even remember if it was a store or a residence. All I know is there are sure to be nightmares soon.
MOST DIFFICULT GIRAFFE OF THE MONTH:
(captured with help from giraffe hunter Annie S.) One of the worst photos of me ever taken. I love the fact you can still see the sharpie on my neck tracking the path of the "poison." I consider this one the hardest, because it was so damn difficult to blend Jackie the Giraffe after all those months. Yeah, and if you are wondering...no I don't believe in air conditioning.
The Amazing List of Amazing Fellow Giraffe Hunters as of September 15:
Annie S., Mike O., Nim W., superkunt, chipb, funkymama, dollomite, chrissigrl, Annemarie G., drsmax, raygunn_revival, Ali R., Drew S., Michael S., Aaron H., clevortrevor, Evan D., Dad V., Mom V., Lizz B., Jim H., dead_kitty, Danny B., eat_you_up, Carol B., sketchartists, clarksgirl, xambush_bugx, handifunk, Molly O., wearebothcats, Kevin C., Suma B., chris_moreno, Victoria K., Paula Q., tsudonimh, Eric S., Sara S., Ben, capearce, emodudley, Kelly L., rufushonkeriv, eskimopirate, scottbateman, mister_wolf, pvenables, mckenzee (I feel like I'm missing someone...am I missing someone?)
Giraffe I Am Searching For: small, maybe 7 inches long, dark orange with deep brown spots which are more dots than actual giraffe spot shapes, deep black beaded eyes, barely any stuffing, the neck flops over to the side constantly, looks like a very cheap beany baby rip off, is the softest fabric in the world, has a long neck (you'd be surprised how many stuffed giraffes DON'T)
I think it's also I start to post my rules for hunting...since I never OFFICIALLY shared them with all of you. I'm a stickler for making rules and sticking by them no matter what in a project. These rules forced me to create FLUFF IN BROOKLYN out of insanity of not being allowed to "create art," so I guess they were a good idea after all!
THE RULES:
1. I must appear in every photograph in some way shape or form
2. I must not smile in any photograph
3. I may not hunt for giraffes on the internet, but must encounter them in real life
4. While internet giraffes sent to me by friendly folk make people added to the "hunter" list they aren't counted in the official picture count until they are hardcopy mailed to me (105 E. 2nd Street, Brooklyn, NY 11218) and then I take a picture with the picture (see THIS as an example, sent to me by clevortrevor)
5. I must not buy the giraffes I encounter other than the final giraffe (I've bent this one a bit mostly because I only made it so I wouldn't go broke!)
6. I may not accept any gallery shows until I find the final giraffe so there is a visible gap in my resume
7. I must not work on any other serious art projects until I find the final giraffe (which is why I started FLUFF out of frustration for not being able to do my normal art projects)
8. I must not give up no matter how frustrating it may get to keep these rules
Rejected Giraffes Captured from November 2003 to September 15, 2005: 1,112 (holy, crap)