The One That Got Away (aka My Glasses & the Button on the Japanese Toilet I Was Too Afraid to Press)
So I'm pretty sure my eyeglasses have been kidnapped by the mafia.
That's a normal way to start an entry after slacking off for two months to go off and do ridiculously exciting things like visiting japan, repeatedly kissing a very tall boy, designing half dozen books, getting ready for two conventions, AND preparing to move into my 9th (yes that's right 9TH) new place since I moved to NYC 7 years ago, right? Also all sentences should be this long, "this" meaning the sentence before this one, and "this", the second "this", meaning the sentence I am butchering right now and will eventually end with some sort of punctuation, like maybe a period, or perhaps a hearty question mark?
Technically it's 11 years ago at this point I've lived and been a traveling gypsy weaving about the boroughs of NYC, but I don't count Staten Island...which probably explains why the mafia is all pissed at me and stole my glasses. My glasses been missing for five days now. I'm not too blind, so it's not a big deal, but basically I a) can't drive a car b) can't operate a steamroller...without "incidents", but hey isn't that half the fun?! and c) can't go to the movies unless I'm going to one where it doesn't matter what people's facial expressions are. Kinda like a silent movie, only instead of being quiet, they just don't move their faces when they talk. I imagine Nicole Kidman would be really good in one of these types of movies.
I keep looking for my glasses in the "i'm not looking for anything I'm just looking under everything I own for fun" method (proven fact if the thing knows you are looking for it, it'll just hide deeper). But this morning is when I realized this wasn't just a case of missing glasses, this was a case of A KIDNAPPING!
Found one arm of my eyeglasses in my bed, just one, snapped off like the optical version of a giant horse corpse head. Searched around and under the bed and can't find the rest of it for the life of me. I would have been more upset, but then I thought about how funny it is to say horse-corpse outloud three times in a row, and settled on the fact those purple glasses survived 10 times longer than any other pair I've ever owned. They were a birthday gift from Marianne my first year in NY. (Awwww.) They had a good life, and I hope, where-ever (on staten island) the rest of my glasses are, they are happy.
So Japan! Lordie. How do I sum up the most amazing trip of my life? Oh...I guess that statement worked just fine. Most Amazing Trip of My Life. Truly. Absolutely. Ed does a much better job explaining it's awesomeness. First here with this fake 2-parter video we made of me "having a horrible time". Unfortunately my acting was a little too decent and his friends who only watched the first vid were very very confused why he would like such a cold heartless girl who doesn't know what LORD OF THE RINGS is. Seriously! COME-ON PEOPLE! I FRIGGIN' WROTE LORD OF THE RINGS! (up there, three sentences ago. See it?) The second video of that post is so worth watching as we pretend to re-fall in love online in the same room. Also a must watch, according to my sister Kath, is 5:20 of the third of these videos, aka the REAL videos of my trip Ed so awesomely edited.
WARNING: I just linked you to like an hour's worth of mine and ed's faces moving and making sounds. If you would rather look at videos of jerboas. I can't blame you.
Alright, alright, for those of you who like to click play without leaving a page. Here's the dorkiest of the batch. it's the finale of the fake "colleen is a horrible bitch who hates japan and ed, and ed is a painful dork who is boring colleen to tears" video, funny mostly because the stupid things we do on skype during this video are pretty much our normal skype-ing style (this is part 2, part 1 is here):
I could pretty much go on forever so under the cut are a few of my favorite images from Japan, mostly silly things I saw and loved, plus one for pure AWWWWWW factor:
And then this one which makes me laugh every time:
This escalator either wants to eat your shoes or just looked up your skirt.
Slumber Party on the Subway! WOO! This penguin was the mascot for Japan's mass transit train line...hence me not understanding but loving this ad. Hey penguin, you want to bring the GIRL TALK and MALL MADNESS or should I?
My biggest financial regret of my trip is not buying this amazing game. I could even play it with my new penguin friend!
Yes, that's right. It's a game of tug-o-war...with pantyhose on your face. I love the look of sheer terror on the face of the guy who decided this game is craaazy!
RUN ED! RUN!
NOooooooOooOooo!
And just in case you get any idea that we aren't massive dorks...here's us attacking unseen monsters crushing Tokyo. oh we won. No worries.
And of course, the obvious picture I LOVE...
Unfortuantely I found out that button with the music note doesn't play Peter Gabriel songs but rather just makes a non-stop flushing noise until you turn it off. I was so happy to see this toilet because I had peed in holes on the floor the three toilets prior and was beginning to think people lied about space-aged astronaut heated japanese sit-upons. It's kinda amazing I didn't spend three hours in this bathroom. Only like one.
And now for my own awwwww. Ed is not a Robot, but I love him like he was one.
All of the pictures from Japan are here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/abletoven/sets/72157616898438536/
So many exciting things on the horizon!
-MOCCA! Where I'll get to see so many of you! I'll be at the :01 table standing in front of things I worked on including the world's most sinister looking book. Adam Rapp, George O'Connor: Black type on a black background with an image of a girl in gas mask wearing all black AND black ink stamped on the sides of the book, making it look like an evil brick! It's a super cheery tale about a plague and a bunch of people murdering children. Yay!
-I friggin' love this Brazilian DJ Faroff who's mashup of a Klezmer Band mixed with House of Pain was listend to 47 times in the past four days according to itunes. I think I might need to go to rehab soon. Tons of free downloads of his stuff here!
-Other things happening in the next two weeks: Moving away from Brooklyn temporarily, taking care of a friend's place on the Upper West Side for at least a year. I'll have my own one-bedroom and will save money while I'm at it for a NEW one bedroom eventually back in the borough I love and name websites after. For those of you who know him, dont worry, Emilio is coming with me. This is how happy he is about that:
That's a normal way to start an entry after slacking off for two months to go off and do ridiculously exciting things like visiting japan, repeatedly kissing a very tall boy, designing half dozen books, getting ready for two conventions, AND preparing to move into my 9th (yes that's right 9TH) new place since I moved to NYC 7 years ago, right? Also all sentences should be this long, "this" meaning the sentence before this one, and "this", the second "this", meaning the sentence I am butchering right now and will eventually end with some sort of punctuation, like maybe a period, or perhaps a hearty question mark?
Technically it's 11 years ago at this point I've lived and been a traveling gypsy weaving about the boroughs of NYC, but I don't count Staten Island...which probably explains why the mafia is all pissed at me and stole my glasses. My glasses been missing for five days now. I'm not too blind, so it's not a big deal, but basically I a) can't drive a car b) can't operate a steamroller...without "incidents", but hey isn't that half the fun?! and c) can't go to the movies unless I'm going to one where it doesn't matter what people's facial expressions are. Kinda like a silent movie, only instead of being quiet, they just don't move their faces when they talk. I imagine Nicole Kidman would be really good in one of these types of movies.
I keep looking for my glasses in the "i'm not looking for anything I'm just looking under everything I own for fun" method (proven fact if the thing knows you are looking for it, it'll just hide deeper). But this morning is when I realized this wasn't just a case of missing glasses, this was a case of A KIDNAPPING!
Found one arm of my eyeglasses in my bed, just one, snapped off like the optical version of a giant horse corpse head. Searched around and under the bed and can't find the rest of it for the life of me. I would have been more upset, but then I thought about how funny it is to say horse-corpse outloud three times in a row, and settled on the fact those purple glasses survived 10 times longer than any other pair I've ever owned. They were a birthday gift from Marianne my first year in NY. (Awwww.) They had a good life, and I hope, where-ever (on staten island) the rest of my glasses are, they are happy.
So Japan! Lordie. How do I sum up the most amazing trip of my life? Oh...I guess that statement worked just fine. Most Amazing Trip of My Life. Truly. Absolutely. Ed does a much better job explaining it's awesomeness. First here with this fake 2-parter video we made of me "having a horrible time". Unfortunately my acting was a little too decent and his friends who only watched the first vid were very very confused why he would like such a cold heartless girl who doesn't know what LORD OF THE RINGS is. Seriously! COME-ON PEOPLE! I FRIGGIN' WROTE LORD OF THE RINGS! (up there, three sentences ago. See it?) The second video of that post is so worth watching as we pretend to re-fall in love online in the same room. Also a must watch, according to my sister Kath, is 5:20 of the third of these videos, aka the REAL videos of my trip Ed so awesomely edited.
WARNING: I just linked you to like an hour's worth of mine and ed's faces moving and making sounds. If you would rather look at videos of jerboas. I can't blame you.
Click to viewAlright, alright, for those of you who like to click play without leaving a page. Here's the dorkiest of the batch. it's the finale of the fake "colleen is a horrible bitch who hates japan and ed, and ed is a painful dork who is boring colleen to tears" video, funny mostly because the stupid things we do on skype during this video are pretty much our normal skype-ing style (this is part 2, part 1 is here):
I could pretty much go on forever so under the cut are a few of my favorite images from Japan, mostly silly things I saw and loved, plus one for pure AWWWWWW factor:
And then this one which makes me laugh every time:
This escalator either wants to eat your shoes or just looked up your skirt.
Slumber Party on the Subway! WOO! This penguin was the mascot for Japan's mass transit train line...hence me not understanding but loving this ad. Hey penguin, you want to bring the GIRL TALK and MALL MADNESS or should I?
My biggest financial regret of my trip is not buying this amazing game. I could even play it with my new penguin friend!
Yes, that's right. It's a game of tug-o-war...with pantyhose on your face. I love the look of sheer terror on the face of the guy who decided this game is craaazy!
RUN ED! RUN!
NOooooooOooOooo!
And just in case you get any idea that we aren't massive dorks...here's us attacking unseen monsters crushing Tokyo. oh we won. No worries.
And of course, the obvious picture I LOVE...
Unfortuantely I found out that button with the music note doesn't play Peter Gabriel songs but rather just makes a non-stop flushing noise until you turn it off. I was so happy to see this toilet because I had peed in holes on the floor the three toilets prior and was beginning to think people lied about space-aged astronaut heated japanese sit-upons. It's kinda amazing I didn't spend three hours in this bathroom. Only like one.
And now for my own awwwww. Ed is not a Robot, but I love him like he was one.
All of the pictures from Japan are here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/abletoven/sets/72157616898438536/
So many exciting things on the horizon!
-MOCCA! Where I'll get to see so many of you! I'll be at the :01 table standing in front of things I worked on including the world's most sinister looking book. Adam Rapp, George O'Connor: Black type on a black background with an image of a girl in gas mask wearing all black AND black ink stamped on the sides of the book, making it look like an evil brick! It's a super cheery tale about a plague and a bunch of people murdering children. Yay!
-I friggin' love this Brazilian DJ Faroff who's mashup of a Klezmer Band mixed with House of Pain was listend to 47 times in the past four days according to itunes. I think I might need to go to rehab soon. Tons of free downloads of his stuff here!
-Other things happening in the next two weeks: Moving away from Brooklyn temporarily, taking care of a friend's place on the Upper West Side for at least a year. I'll have my own one-bedroom and will save money while I'm at it for a NEW one bedroom eventually back in the borough I love and name websites after. For those of you who know him, dont worry, Emilio is coming with me. This is how happy he is about that: