Colleen AF Venable, Now With 1/8 More Bad-Ass!
Hey, you know how they tell you tattoos hurt. Well that's a LIE!
What people mean to say is that they really, really, REALLY, FUCKING REALLY hurt. Or at least when you've got less meat than muscle/bone/hyper-sensitive-mutated-nerve-endings-surely-created-when-once-swimming-in-coney-island-contaminated-water. (Which is my new theory for why I was such a friggin' baby with this.)
Actually I was totally cool and being all bad-ass-no-complaints until this part...
Ta-dah! "oh wait, is that a SINGLE OUNCE OF BLOOOOOOD?!?!"
After which I passed out like four times in the tattoo studio over the course of the next hour. I was like having an out-o-body experience with a weeble. I couldn't walk straight and kept (almost) falling down. Dave C. Wallin (aka my new best friend and SERIOUSLY the best tattoo guy I've ever met) made me feel better by telling me this story:
"Don't be embarrassed that last woman who passed out on my table peed herself. That alone was pretty bad, but then when she came to she wasn't embarrassed at all and just said 'oh, I do that sometimes.'" So yay for my stellar control of my bladder-parts!
Here's what it looked like after a few days healin' time. Please note the "club-a-baby-seal" calves that are attached to my legs:
And here's a picture of me after I clubbed a whole bunch of baby seals:
Ahhhh bliss! (And just in case you are some environmental hippie, those seals were asking for it. Totally.)
So I bet you are wondering about the "first connection" of the dots. Well, I'm going to do it by fire-light. The fire of a burning giraffe...Muahahahahahaa! That said...anyone know how to make a really awesome fire ball explosion? I've got me a giraffe to murder...
p.s. SUPER big thanks to dollomite for keeping me sane during the needling and taking pictures and dealing with my weeble-y self afterwards!
ALSO come visit me at the DUMBO BLOCK PARTY today and ROCK OUT with a band of 11 year olds who are in a sweeeet punk band!
So there's a big block party going on in Dumbo today (Saturday) which I'll be working. We did a book on Gleason's Gym (you know that super famous one) and I'll be hanging out with all the professional boxers selling copies of the book! So two questions!
1. Anyone want to stop by and say hello?
2. Anyone want to punch me in the face so I'll match the other black eyes at the table? I'M TOUGH!
There is going to be some awesome stuff there including this band of ELEVEN YEAR OLDS! http://profile.myspace.com/carebearsonfire So so awesome. (Annie take note!)
Here are the details:
Saturday, September 8, 1 pm to dusk
Dumbo Block Party
Pearl St. Triangle between Front and Water, Brooklyn
Bruce Silverglade of Gleason's Gym has rented a table at the event and
will have staff (not Bruce himself) selling Gleason's T-shirts and his
workout book. Colleen will attend and sell our book during entire
event.
--Noon: Colleen arrives at Gleason's. She will go from there with
Bruce's staff (probably two other people) to the table on Pearl St.
--Set-up time: sometime between noon and 1 pm.
--1 pm: Block Party starts.
--2 pm to 4 pm: Ted Lewin to autograph
--Dusk: Block Party ends.
For directions to Dumbo Block Party:
http://www.dumboblockparty.com/Directions.html
Anyone? Anyone?