Vulnerable

[colferslasher]

Title: Vulnerable (5/?)

Author: FightingMadness (colferslasher)

Genre: Angst/Romance

Warning: graphic sex, graphic violence, threesome, OC

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. I am NOT making any profit out of this story. I do NOT know any of the people mentioned on this fanfiction. This story NEVER happened, it is a work of fiction. It is the result of a crazed fan daydreaming.

Summary: There is a new actor as they go back to film the back 9 episodes. He seems to develop some feelings towards Chris, but he is not the only one. Chris never thought seriously about love, now he has to deal with two men that claim to love him. Jealousy, love, paparazzi and angst as Chris tries to deal with all. Mark/Chris and Jonathan/Chris.

Word Count: 6808


Chapter 5 - A perfect world

Jonathan checked himself in the mirror for the tenth time. He fixed his hair, smelled his clothes and wondered why the hell he was doing all this for the tenth time…then proceeded to check himself once again.

The Broadway actor had been unbelievably happy when Chris invited him for Saturday night. Yes he knew the gleek night out had been Mark’s idea, but after this first week on the set he knew Salling wouldn’t call him. They didn’t hate each other, at first they had actually got along fine. But, unfortunately, they were both…interested in Chris, that much was clear and it was enough for one to not want the other around when they could have the boy to themselves. However the younger gleek had decided on his own to invite Jonathan, he knew it could not have been Salling’s idea. That meant Chris wanted him to be there. It had been enough to make Jonathan smile like an idiot since yesterday.

With the same silly smile on his face he got his car keys and cell and made a little call before he left home. Not because he had to, but because he wanted to.

X~X~X~X~X~X

As Amber and Chris walked to the front of the club they saw most of the gleeks were already there talking and laughing, waiting for the rest of the group to come. Cory, Naya, Kevin, Heather, Telly*, Jenna, Harry and Mark. The mohawked gleek had invited all cast and crew, but most of them couldn’t make it since they had families to tend to on weekends, it would be basically a night out with the gleeks. None of them mind it at all, they were each other’s closest friends anyway.

“Hey guys, were you waiting for us?” Amber asked as they approached the group.

“Sorry…apparently, although Amber spends all her money on shoes, she had none to wear tonight. I wonder if they’d use this phenomenon for a Supernatural filler plotline?” Chris joked as he tried to avoid diva’s slaps on his arm.

“Actually we were thinking of going inside already, if someone else gets here they can meet us there” Mark said matter of factly. Ever since he left home, the idea of Jonathan and Chris coming together kept nagging at him from the back of his mind. Seeing the boy with Amber was a pretty big relief for him.

As if in response to his thoughts Chris spoke “But Jonathan called me before he left home. He was going to pick up Lea and Diana. He must be on his way”.

‘Jonathan called…Jonathan called….what the fuck?!?’ Mark looked away to not give away how much he wanted to just kill Groff right now.

It wasn’t long before Jonathan arrived and was, once again, talking to Chris. Mark spared one moment to consider that yesterday he had come to the conclusion that if he was to move on from this crush on the boy he had to give him space….but after a few moments of watching Jonathan and Chris talking cheerfully. He just couldn’t keep away, he would not allow Jonathan to harass (Mark’s interpretation of the situation) the boy like that. The older gleek decided that he would give Chris the space to talk to a guy if the boy demonstrated that kind of interest on said guy (What Mark was positively sure it wouldn’t happen in Jonathan’s case, so he was doing a favor to Chris keeping the man from creating an awkward situation)

They went in the club and Mark introduced Jason to them pretty quickly since the man was about to go on stage. Soon they were by their table enjoying the show. Cory and Telly sat drinking, talking and bobbing their heads, while the rest rocked the dance floor to the sound of Jason’s band.

As soon as the band finished up the show a DJ took over and Jason joined them at their table. All the gleeks more them happy to get to talk with Mark’s oldest friends in town who had just killed it on that stage.

“Dude, you were freaking awesome up there” Cory was the first to say. The others followed after that and Jason, being the charismatic leading man that he was, was pretty much instant friends with everyone. Talking sport with the guys and talking guys with the girls (he made it clear from the go that he was gay). However Jason couldn’t help but notice that there was three people following their own dynamic. Chris sat between Jonathan and Mark. The Broadway actor and the boy talked cheerfully. Mark was being Mark and stayed quiet observing the exchange, smiling whenever the countertenor looked at him, scowling at Jonathan when the boy couldn’t see it. What seemed to escape his best friend but not Jason was that Chris was going out of his way to include the quiet man on their conversation  and the mohawked gleek wasn’t making it any easier. When the man went into his sullen moods it was hell to get him out of them, especially when Jonathan was clearly trying to steal the attention of Mark’s new crush.

However this didn’t sit well with Jason, Mark was yet to have a real conversation with him or with anybody else for that matter. ‘What is it about this boy? He looks like and sounds like a girl?!?’. Jason didn’t really thought Chris all that bad, the kid had been really nice to him tonight and, deep in his mind, Jason knew the countertenor was attractive, especially for bisexual tops like Mark who had a thing for cute. The boy had some kind of aura that made you yearn to be the big spoon**. But the boy was monopolizing two of the hottest guys and what was up with that? ‘The little bitch is smart. If he keeps giving Mark scraps of attention it’ll keep him from moving on to someone else’. The singer was sick of watching that scene.

“The three of you seem really close” he said sarcastically, but only Mark caught that.

“It’s actually sweet” Jenna spoke intruding on the conversation. “The three of them were almost inseparable this first week.” The girl said with a smile and Jason almost laughed out loud at her naivety. He knew what was going on there, none of them wanted to leave Chris alone with the other and the little bitch must be loving this situation. ‘The two-timing bastard’.

“You wanna dance Chris?” the singer asked suddenly attracting the kid’s (and anybody else’s on the table) attention.

“I-I don’t…” Chris was startled by the sudden question…and the fact that that would the first time in his life he would be dancing alone with a GUY.

“C’mon, I’m a good dancer. I promise…just ask Mark” he yelled through the loud music with a charming smile. The mohawked gleek took a sip of his beer as he eyed his friend suspiciously. Jason was laughing inside his head as Jonathan looked between him and Mark as if waiting the other gleek to do or say something to avoid the boy from accepting the dance invitation.

“I believe you are, but the problem is I’m not” Chris said as he raised his hand and shook his head smiling politely.

“So why don’t you let me see what I can do about that, beautiful?” Jason gave him his best charming stage smile to help the cheesy pick up line.

…and Chris was speechless, he had never had a guy acting so forward towards him in front of his friends before. He was, at the moment, beet red he was so embarrassed. He could hear his friends chuckling and he just wanted to bolt out of there, so he did the next best thing and nodded yes to Jason catching the man’s hand, excusing himself from Mark as he squeezed his way out of the table. Causing discomfort to the older gleek who had a clear view (and feel) of the boy’s ass. However, after the brief contact the mohawked gleek went back to glaring at Jason trying to understand what he was doing.

Chris felt a little awkward dancing with the other man. That was the first time ever he danced alone with a guy, like a couple or something. The fact that he knew all his friends were curiously watching them made him feel like a gold fish on a fish tank. On the other hand, Jason was a pretty cool and funny guy, they started talking as they danced and soon he was comfortable with the situation. The singer had made crystal clear he was gay from the first moment and he spoke openly with Chris about guys. It was easy with Jason, as it was with Jonathan, they understood this aspect of him, without the boy having to explain. Being an out artist on a straight market was a bitch. The young countertenor let his guard down a bit and they talked about a lot of stuff, and then the subject turned to Jason and his friendship with Mark.

The rock singer couldn’t help but notice that, while they were talking Chris kept making questions about Mark. He seemed to want to know all his old stories. Hearing the countertenor talking about the mohawked man, was pretty much the same thing of hearing Mark talk about Chris throughout the last year. That did not sit particularly well with Jason. It meant that the attraction was reciprocal. Jason’s relationship with the older gleek had never been reciprocal, not on the level that the singer wanted it to be. He was in love with Mark, but he knew his friend didn’t see him as boyfriend material. It didn’t matter that sometimes they slept together, Mark still saw him as just a friend. Then, this damn German doll comes along and he makes Mark so fixated on him that the man hardly notices or talks about anything else. And he does all this without even making a real move on the guy. ‘Fuck this’.

“So you like Mark” Jason said bluntly.

“What the hell?!?” startled by the sudden change on subject Chris stopped dancing and stared at him wide eyed. “N-no…of cours”

“Because you know he isn’t the dating kind of guy” he interrupted not interested in Chris’s denial “You seem like a…pretty vanilla guy. You know, like a stay home on a Saturday night and watch tv kind of boy. Mark is more a carpe diem type of guy.” He lied, he knew Mark could be a real quiet guy, but he was definitely out of this child’s league “I’m sorry I just don’t see this working out”.

Chris staggered, this had come out of nowhere leaving him grasping for what to speak and what to think. He was so taken aback by the man’s words that he didn’t even gave thought to Jason talking about straight Mark as if he could actually be interested in guys. More importantly, Chris felt his eyes sting with the threat of forming tears and that startled him even more than Jason’s little speech ‘Why do I feel like crying?’. It made no sense, what the singer said, well, he already knew all that, it was not like he had ever even considerate Mark as a viable dating option. ‘Still it hurts that is so plain obvious to everybody else as well’. However, insults and rough truths were nothing new to Chris. He soon got himself together trying his best to finish the awkward conversation with dignity.

“I-I’m sure someone l-like Mark wasn’t meant for…for someone like me”. Damn his nervous stutter. “Even the thought of it is absurd. I don’t know whatever gave you this idea. Me and him? It would never happen, not in a million years” Chris looked back at Mark sitting on the table and their eyes met for a second. The man’s eyes were grave and burning. The young countertenor for a split second, so quick even his self-deprecating mind wouldn’t register, thought…wished that that heat and intensity was meant for him, that, in another reality, an average guy like him could pin after a guy like Mark and not feel ridiculous about it, and that, maybe, Mark could like him back. But the feel was gone as fast as it appeared and he looked back to notice that Jason was staring at him with accusing eyes.

The singer wasn’t buying any of this Colfer guy’s bullshit: pretending he didn’t notice the way Mark couldn’t keep his eyes of him; talking about Mark over and over again during the time they were dancing. All that and he still had the nerve to lead that Jonathan dude on, ‘Innocent, my ass’. The last straw was the look he exchanged with the man, like Jason didn’t exist to any of them, like they were the only two people on the fucking club. The Broadway guy could be idiot enough to let Colfer play with both of them around, using them to make the other one jealous, but Jason wasn’t about to let this brat have his way. He would expose this kid’s true nature and show him what happens when you play with fire.

“Have you ever had a boyfriend?” he asked maliciously.

“Beg your pardon?” Chris could only raise his eyebrows and give the man an awkward little smile.

“A boyfriend? A lover?” he repeated looking directly into his eyes so the boy knew he wasn’t joking.

“I’m n…it’s not your business” Chris blushed intensely.

“I’m guessing no…you see, sometimes if you want someone to look at you, you use other people to make that happen” Jason started watching the kid’s every reaction.

“I’m not following you here” Chris mind was still struggling to understand where this man was coming from with all this and, more importantly, ‘Does he even has a point?!’

“Yeah, sure you’re not.” Jason dismissed. “You know the Broadway guy is harmless, if you really want Mark to sense some danger here, you should use someone who will actually do more than ogling you. Wanna make him jealous? Might as well have fun while doing it.” As he spoke Chris could do little more than give him his best what the hell expression.

However, what really shocked the boy was what happened next. The singer reached his right arm encircling the small of Chris’s back, pulling violently, the boy’s body suddenly was pressed flush up against Jason’s, his left arm trapped by the singers right arm. Chris let out a little squeak of surprise, he looked around to see if people were looking at them. He felt like a paparazzi could jump out of the woodwork at any minute and, next thing he’d know, he is the next LiLo. The young gleek just didn’t want this kind of attention. He tried to use his right arm to push the man away, but Jason caught his hand before he could.

“What…” Chris couldn’t continue his sentence, the singer took advantage of that moment and forced a kiss on the boy. Teeth hurting the kid’s pink lips as he shoved his tongue without warning inside Chris’s mouth. The boy’s eyebrows shot to his hairline and his eyes went comically wide. It felt like someone had set his mind on slow motion: he could no longer hear the music; he had been talking before, but not anymore because there was a tongue in his mouth and it wasn’t his; Jason was incredibly close, so much he could actually see the perspiration on the man’s face; for him to be so close the tongue in Chris’s mouth must be his ‘Wait…What the FUCK? Jason is kissing me?’. What was going on here? The boy was breathing heavily through his nose, he didn’t want this, he didn’t know this Jason guy, certainly not enough to kiss him, and certainly not like this. His arms were trapped and the kiss was forceful, invasive and violent, the singer’s teeth were grazing his lips here and there and it hurt. Chris for a moment considered if Jason was trying to reach his lungs through his throat, his tongue was everywhere and it tasted of alcohol and cigarettes, it was suffocating. The singer snaked a leg between his thighs pressing against his groin. Chris wanted to stop this. Has he been sending the wrong signals to the man?

As the boy’s vision focused on the singer he began to notice a few things. The man’s eyes were opened as well and he was…glaring at Chris. Not looking, not staring, but glaring. There was so much anger in the man’s eyes, and it made the violent kiss even the more disturbing. If the way he was looking at the boy was anything to judge by Jason absolutely couldn’t stand him or in the very least didn’t like him ‘But why?...and why is he kissing me if he doesn’t like me?’. Chris really wanted this to stop now.

He tried to think of what to do, the thought of biting the man’s tongue crossed his mind, but he winced at it, it was too violent of an act for him and he didn’t think he wanted to hurt the man that bad ‘Yeah, I’m definitely a wimp’. The only thing left was trying to free his arm so he could push him away.

X~X~X~X~X~X

Without Chris between them, Mark and Jonathan sat side by side awkwardly. Both of them paying more attention to their beer bottles than to each other. They hadn’t had an opportunity to talk alone since the first day of shooting. Back then they had hit it off just fine, but right now there wasn’t much to talk about. What do you say to the guy who likes the same person you like? Back off? Well it was a start…

“Back off” Jonathan said to Mark, loud enough for him to hear it, but not the other gleeks. “You had a year and you’ve done nothing”

Mark didn’t need any explanations, they both had reached mutual silent understanding, he knew exactly what he was talking about. The older gleek wanted to say that he would continue doing nothing about it, that he and Chris would remain friends, instead what he said was “and is it your turn now?” he asked sarcastically as he drank his beer.

“Maybe. He is not yours, you know?” Jonathan answered simply.

The brunette clenched his beer bottle at that, If Chris wasn’t Mark’s he wasn’t Groff’s and he said so to the man, “Well, he sure is not yours either. So, why don’t you back off?”

“You’re funny Salling. You seem to hate whenever I’m near Chris, but you’re fine with your friend dancing with him. Did I misread something and it’s me you’re interested in?” Jonathan provoked, this closet case here had the audacity to think he could decide who gets to go near Chris?!

Mark just took a sip of his beer, he wouldn’t let the Broadway asshole know how much he was getting on his nerves. Even if he did act on his anger what was Mark suppose to say? Chris is mine….well, he had to admit he did like the sound of that. But it wasn’t true, was it? Chris wasn’t his, and he had already set his mind to not interfere if the boy didn’t seem bothered by some guy’s attention. That’s why he didn’t stop Jason from dancing with him. Besides he could always talk to the singer later, to warn him about playing with Chris.

The mohawked gleek looked back at Chris who was looking at him at that moment, their eyes met for a few seconds, just enough for the man to get lost in those soulful eyes and think what if…what if Chris was his? That thought alone was enough to send an electric pulse from his heart, all through his body, directly to his groin. Both of his friends seemed to be talking more than dancing and that did strike him as odd…Jason couldn’t be trying to sweet talk Chris into something, could he? NO, not after Mark declared explicitly that he was attracted to the boy and friends stay away from friends’ object of attraction, it’s kind of guys’ unspoken rule.

But, all the more, what Mark would never admit even to himself, was that, where Chris was concerned, Jonathan was more of a threat to him than Jason, that’s why the Broadway actor bothered him so much. He saw how easy was for him to be with Chris, every single day, how fast they had bonded. Two openly gay young actors in Hollywood, two theater geeks who knew every single play ever made. Jonathan being the older openly gay guy having all the answers to Chris’s questions…and Mark is just the closeted Bi who is too chicken to even tell all his friends if they don’t ask about it. The mohawked gleek wouldn’t let his mind go there, and he shouldn’t anyway. He had decided to be no more than a friend to Chris, he repeated it all week like a freaking mantra.

“Unbelievable” Mark’s thoughts were interrupted by Telly’s surprised voice. Followed by Jonathan all but shouting in his ear.

“What the fuck does your friend think he is doing?!?” the Broadway actor’s face contorted on fury.

Mark looked back at the dance floor where his friends were supposed to be dancing and felt like the blood in his veins had turned to lava instantly. Jason was fucking kissing Chris?!? His hands holding the boy and, looking at the man’s leg between the boys thighs, probably he wanted more than kissing. ‘Son of a bitch’.

“Whatever it is he doesn’t seem to be enjoying” Cory observed, in the dim light of the club was possible to see that Chris was now struggling against the man who had trapped one of his arms and was holding the other so he couldn’t use it to pull away while he kissed him, making Chris struggle even harder.

All coherent thought left Mark’s mind, friend or not Jason was in for an ass-kicking. No one touched his Chris, especially not against the boy’s will. Anger radiated from the man as he stood and walked to his friends and he wasn’t alone, an equally angered Jonathan walked right beside him. The other gleek guys followed seeing as this Jason dude was obviously forcing a kiss on Chris and they weren’t about to sit down and watch as their youngest got molested.

However, Mark was the first one there and he did something that five minutes before he would have swore he would never do: he pushed Jason off of Chris so hard the man almost fell to the floor, the mohawked gleek’s hands forming fists ready to punch the singer.

“Have you gone mad?” Jason asked shocked by his friend’s reaction, watching as Harry and Cory tried to hold him back.

The other gleeks were also surprised by Mark’s violence, since he was usually such a calm and collected guy. Chris was left dumbfounded looking at the two men about to fight when Jonathan shook him up.

“Are you ok, Chris?” he asked worried.

“Y-yeah” the boy finally snapped out of his stupor “I-I’m fine. I just…” he interrupted his sentence as Mark practically growled.

“I should just beat the shit out of you. You were forcing yourself on Chris, you fucking coward.” the mohawked gleek tried to free himself from his friends.

Now was Jason’s turn to stare dumbfounded at Mark. He never, ever, saw the man so enraged. The rock singer had only wanted to show his friend that Chris was playing him and Jonathan, that it didn’t matter to the boy who he was with, he was just flirting, enjoying the attention and enjoying how jealous Mark could get over him. Jason never meant for…all this, for his best friend, the guy he loves, to be staring at him like he is about to murder him.

“Mark it’s me I’m your friend, remember?” he tries, maybe he could wake him up from this weird trance this Colfer guy put him under.

“If you’re my friend then what the hell are you trying to do to my….” The gleek had to almost bite his tongue to keep from finish that sentence.

“Your what?” Jason couldn’t believe this.

“To Chris?” at his friend’s surprised expression Mark’s reasoning started to kick back in “Just get lost Jason. Before I do something both of us are going to regret”.

“As if you didn’t already? … Fine” disappointment clear on his eyes, the singer left fuming.

As they let him go Mark looked back to find the male gleeks looking at him suspiciously, but soon they turned their attention back to Chris, who had Jonathan’s arms around him, for support. Rage was back on Mark’s system…this was becoming a constant and he didn’t like it.

“Are you ok, dude?” Cory always friendly was the first to ask to an utterly uncomfortable Chris. The boy nodded, he was visibly embarrassed by the whole situation.

After what happened they walked to the bar where the music was not as loud.

“Do you want us to go find him and kick his ass…because I could, you know. Besides Mark already started the job” Kevin said jokingly, managing to make Chris smile a little.

“No, thank you. You don’t have to worry I’m not a damsel in distress. I could have managed”. Chris said without much thought, realizing that he sounded ungrateful he added “But thank you guys for worrying.” He made his best effort to smile to his friends.

Chris was sure he never felt so pathetic in his whole freaking life. Sure he had felt weak in the face of bullies before, but he had been alone then. Somehow for his friends to witness just how defenseless he could be, well, it made him feel humiliated…and for them to put themselves on a situation where anyone could have taken pictures or filmed what had happened and make up stories in the next morning, because of him….it sucked. It really did. Jonathan’s arm on him now felt patronizing even if it wasn’t the man’s intention. He felt like a little child that everyone needed to protect and one thing that Chris Colfer didn’t like was feeling younger than he was.

The boy gently wiggled free of Jonathan’s arms, causing the Broadway actor to frown and Mark to smile. “Well, I guess that was excitement enough for tonight. I’m going home” the young gleek said trying to sound casual.

“Boy, I’m coming with you” Amber spoke matter of factly.

“Amber you don’t have to. Please people, is not like I’m an abuse victim here. I’m just a little tired” the countertenor said trying desperately to make his friends stop fussing.

“We’ll all feel better if you don’t go alone” Lea spoke, as the others nodded.

“Do you want me to drive you?” Jonathan was quick to offer.

“Ok, guys if you keep treating me like this don’t be surprised if by Monday I’ll have started listening to emo rock, using eyeliner and dying my hair black” he said it with his I’m ok smile “Seriously people, it was a weird night and I am just too tired to continue partying, ok? That’s all.”

“You can say what you want hon, I’m going with you” Amber countered him with her best and I dare you to disagree look.

“Fine. Let’s go and seriously you guys, it wasn’t a big deal, just some wrong signals, I guess” Chris just wanted to get out of that place, the embarrassment almost too much to take. He was a guy just like Mark, Jonathan, Cory and all the others, he should be able to handle himself against Jason. Chris didn’t know what was worst, that the others intervened thinking he needed saving or, that he actually might had really needed saving at that point. ‘Oh, the excruciating feeling of emasculation. Never gets old’ he thought sarcastically to himself.

After saying their goodbyes he finally left with Amber beside him, leaving the other gleeks to decide whether to continue on the club or go home too.

“Well, your friend knows how to ruin a party. That’s for sure.” said Harry realizing most of the other gleeks now wanted to leave.

“If you want to protect Chris, how about keeping your sex offender friends at home?” Jonathan growled so only Mark could hear. “Let’s go Lea, Dianna, Jenna. I’ll drop you guys.” He spoke as he walked away with the gleek girls.

But it didn’t matter what anyone said, Mark was lost on his own thoughts. Once again the young countertenor had managed to throw all the man’s reasoning to the ground without even trying. Seeing Jason kissing Chris had made him angrier than ever before, he felt like his blood had instantly boiled. Right now Mark realized that it didn’t matter if it was Jonathan, the creep on the bar or even Jason, one of his best friends (until now at least), he could not stand any guy kissing Chris. Danm it, he would not stand for any guy going near the boy again. He didn’t have the right to interfere though, Jonathan did have a point earlier, Chris wasn’t Mark’s, that was a fact. However, if he wanted a say on who got to touch the young gleek that was precisely the fact he had to change, wasn’t it?

X~X~X~X~X

“Would you stop that?” his BF was annoying the hell out of Chris at the moment.

“Stop what?” Amber played innocent.

“Looking at me as if you are expecting something” he rubbed his eyes as he sat down on his couch.

“But I am.” She said honestly. “You didn’t comment on what happened…not even to make a joke about it”. She couldn’t help but think that this was unusual to Chris…he always has witty remarks about everything, sometimes she has to punch him quiet.

“What do you want me to say? The guy misinterpreted the situation and kissed me. As I wasn’t really enjoying it I tried to stop it, that’s when the cavalry came in” he said with a tired smirk.

“Did he? Misinterpreted, I mean?” Amber sat down beside him, a curious look on her face.

“Hell, yeah.” Chris spoke a little outraged at his friend’s insinuation.  “Maybe I did something to make the guy think I was into him and he wanted to throw me a bone or something. But I definitely wasn’t…into him, that is”

The young diva found that hard to believe. “Why do you think he was just throwing you a bone? Why don’t you think he was the one into you?”

“Well, because…” Chris sat up straight on his couch and seemed thoughtful “the look on his eyes, it seemed like he didn’t like me at all. He was kissing me, but it was like he was angry at me”

“Why would he kiss you if he was angry at you?” Amber was sure Chris must have missed something… normally you don’t kiss someone you don’t like.

“This question you should ask him, not me.” The boy said a bit frustrated. If he knew the reason it wouldn’t have been so disturbing. Especially since the man’s look was not coherent with what the man’s leg, hands and tongue were doing. However there was something more that was bothering him. “It’s kind of sad though”

“What?” the young woman asked a little curious.

“Nah, it’s nothing” he sounded wistful.

Now Amber’s curiosity was really perked “Don’t make me force you. Because you know I can make you talk white boy. I have videos far worse than the treadmill one”.

“Geez…fine. It’s just…I kind of wanted my first kiss with a guy to be different” he said as if embarrassed by it. ‘Oh God, why am I being such a girl today?’

“That was the first time you were kissed by a guy?” her voice was a bit more kind now. She wasn’t expecting that.

Chris nodded while mumbling “oh, well…”

“There is nothing wrong with wanting it to be special” Amber spoke while trying to lock the boy’s eyes on hers. He kept avoiding it.

“Please don’t make me feel even more pathetic than I already do” He rested his head back on the couch and looked at the ceiling.

“Why would you be pathetic?” she touches his face kindly to make him look at her.

“C’mon, I’m a guy who has to be watched over like a effing child and goes home only to bitch that his first gay kiss should had been different” he says irritated with himself.

“Baby…that’s crap” Amber was a great friend…but she just didn’t have the patient for listening to bullshit.

“Oh…Thank you so much Amber” he nodded and sarcastically smiled as he looked back at the ceiling.

“First there is nothing wrong with needing help every now and then, that doesn’t make you weak, it makes you human. Besides helping out on difficult situations, that’s what friends are for. I know that your friends back in Clovis made a half-assed job showing you that, but now that you do have real friends…get used to it, because we’ll help you even when you don’t want us to. Second, I know that you are cynical towards everything love, especially when it concerns you. But, believe me, no one would like their first kiss to be with a person you barely know and that forced it on you.” Amber was not a girl to hold back her opinions and she wasn’t about to start now, especially when she knew her BF needed to hear it.

Maybe it was her little speech, maybe it was all that had happened tonight, but Chris kind of wanted to let it out. “I don’t know. It wasn’t like I wanted one dear diary moment, you know? I’m not a romantic, I mean I do like my share of romantic showtunes, and I do like some romantic movies here and there, but I just don’t romanticize my life. But, It’s just I wanted my first kiss with a guy to be with someone I at least really knew, someone who maybe I cared for and who cared for me and was not…you know, angry.” The countertenor then took a deep breath, plastered a lopsided smile on his face and continued “But this is not a Drew Barrymore movie…hey, at least I’m not a gay kiss virgin anymore.”

“There…did it hurt? You said what you wanted and the world didn’t come clashing down on you.” She spoke with a big grin on her face. Chris’s sarcasm aside it was nice to hear him open up a bit.  “Honey, it’s ok to want more, it’s not wrong, it’s absolutely normal. Now, your first kiss was what it was and there is nothing we can do about it, but your second has to be a swoon worthy one”

He had to snort to that. “Like that is about to happen. The next descent guy that shows interest in me…I’m kissing the hell out of him. Lord knows the whole waiting for someone better for my first kiss didn’t work” he threw his hand in the air, and shrug his shoulders “I just hope this person doesn’t have bad breath. Maybe I should start carrying some mints”

Yes, the boy’s sarcasm could be tiring for someone trying to keep a real conversation going. Amber tried not to let it bother her. “Babe, don’t settle for the mediocre because it’s easier to come by…Kurt never would”

“I’m not Kurt” he stated simply.

“No, you’re not…you just gave up all hope to live something romantic and great a long time ago, haven’t you?” her impatience was beginning to show.

“Well, I like to think of myself as realistic” his friend’s comment stung a little, Chris really didn’t need to hear how much Kurt was stronger than him now. Especially when Kurt is a fictional character.

“Tell me something, with whom do you wish your first kiss would have been? Describe me the perfect guy to kiss you” Amber pressed.

“This is silly” he snorted again, but after a few seconds the boy began “Someone sweet, polite, gentle…a nice guy. He would have to laugh at my jokes, that’s for sure, good humor is a must, and it wouldn’t matter that his own jokes may come across a little dry. He could be an actor, maybe a singer…that way we would understand each other better. He should be passionate about stuff, like when he goes off speaking about it there is no stopping. He could be a quiet guy that enjoys laze around, maybe talking, listening to music or watching a movie. Of course we could go out to a nightclub every now and then, maybe some rock or jazz….not usually my style but it’s also good, you know, for a change? Our first kiss would be sweet and intense at the same time and…Oh my God, You’re turning me into Blossom” he said as he covered his face horrified.

Amber just chuckled “Yeah…and that’s Mark you just described there.”

“Not it isn’t. Amber…you are delusional.” Chris puffed. Ok, now she was just purposely trying to annoy him.

“Haven’t all that happened with Glee over the last year showed us that life sometimes can be a fairy tale? Why is it so impossible to believe you can live a love story…with this guy you just described?” the young woman knew Chris’s cynical attitude was a self-defense mechanism, but a lot of times it was more harmful than helpful.

“Because is me. Lightning doesn’t strike twice, I got Glee, my share of fairy tale is over. And I’m ok with it” he said impatiently looking directly at his friend this time.

It didn’t impress Amber. “Baby, you have got to stop that, you continue to see yourself as those bullies did. You are great, smart,sweet, witty, handsome”

Chris rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“You are. Even Mark…” she began reaching to hold his hand.

Chris sharply pulled his hand away irritated “Enough with the Mark talk Amber. What is up with that? He is nice and good-looking…really handsome…in a perfect world of course I…anyone actually, would like to have a shot with him. But this is not a perfect world. I know who and how I am and I know what is fantasy and what is actually possible.” The countertenor thought that maybe he spoke too much, but, what the hell, that it was.

It was not common for Chris to be so talkative about his feelings so Amber decided not to pay attention to him trying to keep his distance from her and she took the chance “But if we were in this…fantasy world you talk about and Mark were interested in you? Would you give him a chance?”

“Amber…” The boy couldn’t believe she was still pressing this, he was beginning to regret being rude to her but now...

“It’s a simple question…you said yourself he is handsome” she rushed to defend her point.

Chris dropped his head back on the couch and lolled his head to look at her tiredly…and wistfully, he didn’t know why, but looking at his friend and knowing she wouldn’t let it go he spoke “Mark is a breathtaking man…In a fantasy world, where I resembled someone out of Gossip girl”

“Chris…” it annoyed her to no end that her friend was diminishing himself again.

“Yeah” Chris’s shy answer was just a bit more than a whisper.

That kind of got the young diva a bit more excited than it should and she had to hold back the smile. “So you are saying that if Mark was interest in you…hypothetically, you would say yes?”

“Hypothetically speaking” Chris accentuated and looked at her thoughtfully and finally said a bit more sure this time “Yes”.

Amber this time gave him a big grin making the young gleek regret for a minute what he had said. ‘Ok, Time to interfere.’ she thought to herself.

X~X~X~X~X~X

*A.N.: I have referred to him as Totle before on previous chapters, because that’s what they call him on Twitter, but I observed on recent interviews that normally they call him Telly.

**A.N.: Actually the whole idea for this entire fic came from this statement from Adam Lambert’s ex-boyfriend the blogger Brad Cheeks: “Chris Colfer - He never did anything for me until I met him at the GLAAD awards and found him adorable. Chris is the type of boy who makes you want to be the big spoon […]Chris Colfer arouses my dominance.”

Next: Chapter 6 - The second one