Vulnerable - Chapter 2
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee. I am NOT making any profit out of this story. I do NOT know any of the people mentioned on this fanfiction. This story NEVER happened. It is a work of fiction. It is the result of a crazed fan daydreaming.
Warnings: rated M (NC-17) for LANGUAGE, GRAPHIC SEX SITUATIONS and VIOLENCE.
Author Notes: ‘lalala’ direct thoughts; “lalalala” speech ; italics for emphasis.
Chapter 2 - Way up here
Chris dragged himself into his trailer. It was far too early to work, far too early to drive, far to early to even think. Another day of being up before sunrise and today was going to be a hard day too. He had to work on some challenging choreography for an upcoming episode. ‘Well, it is challenging to me’ he thought as he closed the door behind him. He hated holding people back...but dancing has never been his strong suit, so if he wanted to not get in the way of production he really had to get this right as soon as possible. What was somewhat odd about today was that he didn't need his alarm to wake up. He just woke up and the first thing in his mind as he did was his conversation last night with Zach. The choreographer had told him what was in store for him today. That made him more than a little anxious.
Going to his trailer mini-bar he grabbed his first diet coke of the day. Sitting back on his couch he let his mind wander. But instead of going to the potential health endangering activities he had ahead of him today that had left him so nervous his mind went to last night conversation with Amber. Mark had already shown that he is actually a pretty easy going guy, he would be good for Amber, and Amber would be good for him. However, now in the solitude of his trailer without the presence of his friends to make him feel guilty about it, he could admit to himself that, truth be told, Chris did find the mohawked a damn attractive man. Nonetheless, he said the truth about not wanting to ask him out. Someone as good-looking as Mark would shoot him down before he even finished the sentence. 'No, no, no...I know better than to put myself through this kind of humiliation'. Years of being a zero in High school had taught Chris that he was better off not getting his hopes up for people out of is league. Now that he was successful it didn’t change the fact that he did not consider himself hot or even handsome. 'People call me adorable...a poodle is adorable'. He definitely didn't see hot guys like Mark, Cory or Jonathan dating a poodle*.
Besides it didn’t help that he didn't really know how to make a move on someone. He didn’t go around asking people out on dates. He had had some failures in his past. Of course, they had been girls back in Clovis. If he had asked a guy out back then he would be beat and tied to a fence** faster than he could say homophobes sons of bitches. The only girl that accepted to go on a date with him had been a nice girl from the speech and debate team. Back in the day he already knew he didn't like girls and she probably said yes because she felt sorry for an outcast like him. Neither of them was too much into the date, so whatever they had between them didn't move forward, if anything drove them apart since they were awkward around each other after that. In present day, although he was growing more confident of himself, he still felt like the little ugly duck of the cast.
So he always just kept to himself, maybe someday someone more appropriate for him would come along. Someone not as good-looking as his cast mates, but nice. Someone who would love him just the way he was, poodle or not. ‘Did I just think love? God, it’s really early.’ Chris had never believed that love, in the romantic sense, would be a part of his life. He did believe love existed and it was meant for some people, his parents for example, but the elusive feeling just didn’t agree with other more cynical, sarcastic, judgmental, average looking people like himself. So, if love was out of the picture, he just made peace with himself a long time ago that he would settle for the next best thing.
~X~X~X~X~
Mark was walking towards his trailer to get his wardrobe for the day when his cell phone vibrated, he soon was fishing in his pocket for the device. Distracted by the procedure he was surprised when he heard someone call his name. He looked up to see Amber smiling at him. "Hi, sorry. I didn't see you there".
"It's ok." she hurried to say. "Hum, listen, Mark. I’ve been meaning to talk to you alone for quite some time now. I know it will sound weird but, I was wondering if you would like to get a drink sometime....since that's the only thing we seem to have time for during the week, maybe talk a bit." she was looking at Mark with those expectant eyes hoping to God she had made herself clear so she wouldn’t have to do this again.
‘Fuck’. It was all Mark could think at the moment. Was he misinterpreting that look on her eyes? He didn’t think so, and that truly and deeply suck. It just killed Mark as he knew he had to blow her off. He just didn’t see her that way, Amber was like a sister to him. He tried his best to measure the words he used to let her down gently. "I'm risking looking really stupid here if I misunderstood what you said but, I don't mix work with...you know...my love life. I really like you Amber, you know I do, you’re like family to me, but I think things would get really complicated" he said scrutinizing her face for any signs of hurt.
"Oh. Ok, it's alright. I understand...Jesus, now I'm feeling embarrassed." she said as she looked anywhere but him.
‘God, this is awkward’. He never wanted to cause any kind of hurt or discomfort to Amber, one of his Glee family. "Please don't feel that way. I really like you and if we had met under other circumstances the answer would be yes. But I’d rather not mix things up between us. Can I invite you to a cup of coffee or a drink as a friend?"
"Uh, pity drink" she sighed, as Mark made a face at her "Ok, I'll take it." She said with a shy smile.
"Hey there guys" Jonathan spoke as he approached the two of them. Feeling the situation a little awkward he hurried "Am I interrupting something?"
Amber nervously thought of what to say not wanting word of this embarrassing situation to get out to the others. "No, not at all. Mark and I were just saying we could all go out for a drink one of these days". Her voice a bit too cheerful as she invited Jonathan along
The young man looked from the girl to Mark before he could answer "Sure, we could go today after we finish everything." Jonathan actually thought it was a great idea. He missed New York’s night live, going out with his new friends would make his night a lot more fun.
"Yeah I'll talk to the guys" Amber offered, now kind of really in the mood for a night out with everybody.
"I'm there. Let me catch your cell number Jonat...oh, shit" he exclaimed as he looked at his cell which was forgotten in his hand "I forgot I had received a message. Just a sec…" he asked as he navigated the device when he finally saw Chris's message.
Guys, take a look at this…if it doesn’t kill me it will make me stronger.
Attached to the message was a picture of Chris’s feet and he was wearing red ten-inch hooker boots. Mark wouldn’t realize himself, but as he read the message he was not laughing, but smiling. However, that didn't go unnoticed to his companions, not so much for the fact that he was smiling, but the kind of smile he was sporting, a really warm and heart-felt one.
"Some good news there?" Jonathan was the first to ask.
"Hum, it's just a message from Chris. I think he send it to everybody. Did you see the picture attached?" he said chuckling missing the suspicious looks he was receiving from Jonathan and Amber.
The girl was the first to talk “Actually I’ve seen the real thing. Apparently he will have to dance using them, the poor thing” she couldn’t avoid laughing a little herself remembering how devastated Chris looked this morning trying not to fall. To give the boy justice, she didn’t think she would be doing much better on ten inch heels.
"Shit” Mark all but yelled suddenly looking to his cell phone taking the other two by surprise “I'm freaking late for hair and make-up I have a scene in about 15 minutes...sorry guys. I'll see you later" he then proceeded to run in the direction of his trailer.
After watching him go Amber and Jonathan walked together to the trailers taking their time and talking, but Jonathan could not get Mark’s reaction to the message out of his mind. That tempted him to think things over. Even if he had decided that he would not make a move on Chris because they are working together, other guys, guys like Mark, could decide otherwise and that bothered Jonathan more than he thought it would. This just didn’t make sense since he knew Chris for about 24 hours now. However, no matter how much he repeated that in his head, he could not pretend he didn’t feel a strong urge to follow Chris around all day to keep any male to have a clear shot, even though he didn’t know about other gay or bisexual men on the cast and crew. 'But, c'mon, unless a man is completely straight is damn hard to resist Chris. The kid's face and body scream fuck me....no, he is much too adorable for that, they scream PLEASE, fuck me’.
Generally Jonathan went for manly guys, but Chris just had a vulnerability around him, in his perfect cherubic face, in his soulful blue/green eyes. It screamed Protect me and that aroused the dominance of every men. There was no way for a gay or Bi man to know Chris in person and not want to throw him in a bed, hold him down forcing him to feel his weigh and... 'WHAT THE FUCK AM I THINKING????? GET A FUCKING GRIP JONATHAN'. He told himself fighting the erection that he was sporting, thankful for being sitting as the make-up artist worked on his hair.
As he fought to put something else in his mind but Chris Colfer moaning and writhing beneath him, he couldn’t help but feel that, maybe, working on Glee was going to be even harder than he expected.
~X~X~X~X~
When Mark finally finished that endless scene he had been filming he started to walk aimless around the set, trying to find some other gleek to hang out with until the next endless scene filming. Once again he found himself wandering to the tenth shed as he listened the music that came from within it. He was not surprise to find Chris there, the man could not help himself from stopping and looking at the scene. Chris was trying to do choreography in the 10 inch heels hooker boots he was wearing on the picture he had sent. It was kind of funny really and he soon was laughing out loud startling the dancing boy who lost his balance and fell flat on his ass. Soon Mark was running to help him get up."Are you ok? I'm sorry about that, I didn't mean to startle you." Chris embarrassment was obvious and Mark made a mental note that embarrassed Chris turns a fucking adorable shade of pink.
"Well, that's the second time you witness my lack of coordination in two days straight...my pride is severely injured. But I'm physically fine" the boy said as he cleaned the dirt from his black sweatpants.
Mark put his hand on Chris shoulder to steady the boy as he fought for balance on those shoes. "So…that's your problem with the choreography?" he said as he looked at the bright red boots.
"Yeah...I have to use them in the Gaga episode, but they knew it would be hard for me so they are making me practice with the damn things from today until we film it. The problem is…I’m not really doing well. They’re just so…high. I feel like I'm in a totally different time zone when I'm up in these things. I’m actually starting to get a little cold way up here" the boy said dejectedly.
Mark could not help but laugh and looked at Chris face "You're funny"
"So you guys say...I've always thought you really meant funny looking" the boy’s self-deprecating sarcastic mode would not let this kind of comment go by easily.
"And that's the best joke. You look..." Mark said as his eyes met Chris's, a thousand words came to his mind as he looked into those eyes 'innocent, angelical, damn right beautiful...WHOA, where that came from?' he thought to himself realizing his hand was still in Chris' shoulder, actually his thumb was brushing against the boy's smooth neck above the collar of his dark blue shirt. That made Mark's mind cloud a little bit. He didn't want to take his hand away, and that feeling alone was precisely what cleared his mind, making he let go of the boy in shock. This was going in a strange direction, if Jason was here he would never hear the end of it, and so he spoke in a nonchalant tone "you look good kid. You must know that, right?” He saw Chris’s mouth form a sarcastic little smirk. "What? You don't?"
"Let's just say I'm under no self image delusions" the cherubic countertenor gave in a dry smile.
"Says the guy with a throng of screaming girls and guys outside his door" he said. ‘The guy with the face and the voice of an angel’ he added in his mind.
Chris just gave him the shoulders. "Oh, fame, thy art an ironic bitch***. Anyway, I got the choreography from Zack early today. But now I can hardly stand in these evil things" he gave the shoes a bitter glare.
"Do you want my help? I mean, I can give you constructive criticism from an observer?" Mark gave him his most innocent grin. He really just wanted to watch Chris trying to dance on those boots. Maybe make some videos for future blackmailing.
Chris chuckled a little. He knew Mark just wanted to watch him fight for balance while trying to dance, but the prospect of spend some time with the man was making Chris a bit more happy than he would ever admit. So he accepted the help and soon he was rehearsing with Mark, every now and again, helping him get his balance back. All in all, Chris didn't fall again, but he looked so out of his element doing the steps in heels that by the end of the rehearsal both men were laughing their ass off.
Mark helped Chris sit in one of the chairs by the wall and then he sat beside him. "You know we were supposed to be taking this seriously" the man spoke still catching his breath from laughing so hard.
"How is that even possible when you put Christopher Colfer on heels? I'm surprised people take me seriously when I'm dancing on plain tennis shoes" he said as he chuckled.
Mark had always thought that he really liked that sound. "You don't think much of your dancing skills" It wasn’t a question.
Chris then put his finger to his own chin "Gee, I wonder why that is?"
"Seriously man, you're better than you think" the mohawked man said as he looked directly at the boy.
"Oh, no. Not the pity pep talk. Drama classes flash back coming up." Chris shook his head tiredly.
Mark could not help but laugh. "It's not pity pep talk. OK, you're not a professional dancer but in every number you really try you can pull it off great. Believe me I've watched your single ladies dance, like, a thousand times by now and..."
"Oh, God. The single ladies dance" Chris exclaimed as he covered his face.
"Yes, the single ladies dance. You did GREAT, man and yesterday as Jonathan and I were watching you were getting better by the second. You're one of those people who can do anything once you've put your mind to it. You just have to accept the fact that you're freakishly talented, Chris."
"Well, for what it’s worth, in a scale of 1 to 10 for pep talks. That was a 9" Chris nodded with a serious face.”Had you finished with a hug, it would be a 10 though”
"You can be really annoying, did you know that?" Mark was now the one shaking his head tiredly.
"I try."Chris said sheepishly.
"Don't try too hard...I may have to wedgie you" The mohawked man put his best douche face
"Oh…High school flashback again" Chris looked up flash back style.
"Why would anyone need to give you a pep talk in drama class anyway? You're the best young actor in the cast" Mark said absent mindedly. ”and I just know you were the best actor back on Hell Hole High School”.
Chris's eyes softened as he looked at the young man, "Thank you". The countertenor always tried to put a pretty tough exterior to his friends, but in reality he was always unsure of himself. Chris acceptance of himself was profoundly related to other people acceptance of him, no matter how much he wanted to deny it. It wasn’t a healthy attitude to have about himself and it had caused him a lot of pain throughout his life, but it wasn’t something he could easily change now. So many years hearing from peers and teacher he was not good enough took its toll on him. Thus, Mark's honest compliment really meant a lot to him.
"Hey, by the way, Amber and I were thinking about going somewhere to get something to drink tonight. Are you up for it?" Mark asked not thinking much of it, interrupting Chris’s reverie.
"Uh, er, you know I'm just tired today…after all that daredevil dancing, you know? I don’t think I'll be able to make it. You two go and enjoy yourselves" He said as he looked awkwardly to his feet. He had never played cupid before and he was determined to do a good job at it. The truth was he wanted to go, but didn't want to be third wheel...plus Amber was going to kill him for ruining the mood. Suddenly, though, Mark did something that caught Chris of guard, the man laughed.
"You are a good friend, aren't you?" he asked to a puzzled Chris.
The boy could do nothing but give him an interrogated smile. "I also try". He said in a tentative voice.
"Well, you can relax. Amber and I already talked this over and, although she is a beautiful, strong woman nothing is going to happen between us." he explained. Maybe he should not expose Amber like this, but he already knew that Chris was her best friend. It was obvious that the boy knew what was going on and was trying to help his BFF.
“Wait. Does this mean I have to call you bastard now and threat you for hurting my friend? I’m not good with being threatening, you know? I would have to practice first…maybe my sai swords” Chris looked really puzzled…or, at least, at a loss of what to answer.
“I hope not. I’ve seen you use those things. It could get ugly.” Mark smiled at him. “Look, it’s all good. I explained Amber that I didn’t see her that way and she understood me. So, I’m guessing it’s ok for you not to hate me. Amber and I agreed to remain friends. As such she invited Jonathan herself to accompany us.”
"Oh, good. I don’t think I could hate you anyway” Chris said with a sincere smile before realizing what he just said and looking downwards, blushing a deep shade of pink causing Mark to chuckled once more. Chris fought his blush and sobered up to finally answer “Well, uh, didn't see that one coming... so I guess I'll go then". The boy would have to cheer up his friend later, but right now he could not deny the relief that filled him. ‘Apparently, this was bothering more than I thought.’ He looked up grinning at the man.
As Chris agreed, both of them felt a similar wave of anxiety and excitement wash over them. None of them would say that out loud, though. Mark especially was surprised how much Chris's yes got him excited for tonight. He refused to rationalize it, no, looking at his cheerful face Mark decided he would just enjoy the night and make sure that the boy' smile stayed in place for as long as it possibly could.
~X~X~x~x~x~x~
*A.N: Before anyone go on in a rampage about how hot Chris is I have to tell you I do think he is pretty Fucking hot. But remember this is Chris vision of himself, not ours. He has shown in more than one occasion that he does have some self-esteem issues. The poor thing, if only he could see himself through our eyes…
**A.N: I intend no harm or disrespect by my reference to Matthew Shepard. I’m just using to point how small minded (and fucking barbaric) some people can be.
***A.N: BBT reference because I luuuuv Sheldon.
Next: Chapter 3 - Where is the alcohol?