[Fic] Priorities - Kris/Chanyeol
Title: Priorities
Pairing: Kris/Chanyeol
Rating: PG-13
Genre: college AU
Prompt: krisyeol being long time best friends, they are also in love with each other but are too dense to realize.
***
Everyone thought they were dating. Everyone. Not just good guy friends who burped together, and scratched their balls, and watched sports on TV to the dismay of everyone around them. They also traded halves of sandwiches, and went to movies together, and played one on one basketball games together, and took naps arranged on one or the other’s body parts in front of anyone who cared to look. There was almost no saying one name without the other, and if they went on vacation, there was no asking who Chanyeol would room with. It was just understood. They tended to enter rooms together, lost in conversation, and Kris had a distracting habit of throwing his arm around Chanyeol’s shoulders and pulling him in. Pretty much from the first moment they’d met, when Chanyeol had been a wide-eyed freshman with a surprisingly deep voice, they’d been inseparable. Chanyeol had imprinted on Kris like a baby chick, and thus the “Kris and Chanyeol bubble” had been formed.
People asked Yixing quietly if they were dating, and he usually told them no. No one wanted to ask Kris, whose frown scared people. And Chanyeol was usually too busy leaning across Kris’s lap to talk to Baekhyun, or Sehun, or Jongin. Kris took it like a man who had no other real choice, with fond looks, occasionally shoving Chanyeol to the floor so he could get up or talk to other people himself. Yixing had dismissed it, too, at first, thinking they just had one of those relationships where everything clicked.
At least until Yixing noticed that Kris was starting to schedule dates around outings with Chanyeol, or cancel them entirely if Chanyeol needed him. That wasn’t weird, exactly, as much as it told him that Kris was a good friend. He was, and Yixing knew that. They’d leaned on each other a lot. And Chanyeol didn’t seem to date as much as he seemed to pick up people and add them to his circle which was how their group of friends seemed to keep having an extra person every month or two.
And then there was Joonmyun. He’d been friends with them as well, part of their Mandarin club for exchange students and those who were learning. He was serious, studious, intent on learning, and he’d been paired with Kris from the first as they practiced both English and Mandarin together. That was the first time Yixing really thought something was up, because Chanyeol’s perpetually happy face went almost pouty as Kris sat beside Joonmyun for a chat.
Now, no one among their group was calling Yixing the smartest. He did well in his classes, but sometimes… Well, even he admitted he missed the obvious. But it happened again, and again. And the time varied between Kris talking to Joonmyun and Chanyeol going stiff and silent as Kris laughed. It was something Chanyeol never did, even when Kris was wedged in with Lu Han - always handsy with him, or with Yixing, who’d known him longest. At most Chanyeol sent a few amused looks, and maybe fond ones. But nothing like the way that Chanyeol snapped at people with Joonmyun was with them, going suddenly cloudy when everyone’s mood was light.
Yixing watched Joonmyun’s face fall as he joked to Chanyeol, and Chanyeol just sullenly replied, not at all like he was with the others. Chanyeol was lucky that it was Yixing he noticed, and not Lu Han, because at least he had tact. Mostly.
“Joonmyun’s in a couple of classes with Kris this semester isn’t he?”
Chanyeol looked at him liked he’d been kicked. “Yeah. Why?”
“It’s just nice to have someone you know to study with, that’s all.”
That gave him part of his answer. Yixing went to Joonmyun next. “Are you dating anyone right now? Girlfriend? Boyfriend?”
“I’ve been seeing someone for a few weeks,” Joonmyun said. “A guy. Why?”
“Why don’t you bring him this weekend when we go out for pizza? If that doesn’t chase him away, nothing will, right?”
Joonmyun laughed, not agreeing out of niceness, but Yixing knew it was pretty much true. If a guy could navigate their group of friends, he was a keeper.
And it turned out Jongdae was good looking, a little sarcastic, and always had his hand on some part of Joonmyun. And Yixing watched Chanyeol, who relaxed a little bit more as the night went on. He even offered Joonmyun the breadsticks, giving him a smile. It was a truce, it seemed, and Joonmyun smiled back at him.
“Kris isn’t dating anyone right now is he? Do you think we should set him up?” Yixing asked Chanyeol.
“I don’t think he’s interested in dating right now,” Chanyeol said quickly.
And that was when Yixing knew for sure. Chanyeol was jealous of Kris. Not in a way that indicated he just wanted more of Kris’s time, but because he didn’t want Kris to be dating Joonmyun, or anyone.
It seemed in the process of being the closest friends, Chanyeol had fallen a little deeper than that. And he was easier to read, his feelings all over.
Yixing knew what unrequited feelings were like. Much less the kind that had Chanyeol reacting, smile faltering as Kris smiled at someone who might take him away. Not as a friend, but something more.
***
Finding out Kris’s feelings was harder. He couldn’t be as subtle, really. Chanyeol he’d been lucky enough to manipulate into showing his feelings - no, that sounded cold. He’d maneuvered. That was better. But Kris couldn’t be maneuvered. He was friends with, supportive of almost everyone. There was no one Yixing could throw at Chanyeol to see if Kris was jealous, because Chanyeol was Chanyeol. Kris would just see it as him finding another friend. Nothing at Kris’s level, of course. Kris could not be described as codependent.
Yixing settled on cornering him.
“You haven’t dated in a while,” Yixing said, after they’d gotten two cups of tea and had caught up otherwise.
“You taking an interest in my dating life?” Kris asked, brows raising. “Chanyeol told me you’d asked about me dating, too.”
Of course he would have. Chanyeol knew no subtlety and he’d have wanted an answer on the subject himself, Yixing assumed, since the seed had been planted.
“I told him I was busy, and people to date don’t just appear, so I wasn’t worried about it,” Kris explained.
“You’re not that busy. If you have time to meet me for tea. Plus you and Chanyeol are always going out-“
“There isn’t anyone to date,” Kris said. “I could make time. But there’s… There’s no one.”
It was said in typical Kris fashion but all of Yixing’s senses were telling him something different.
“Well, just don’t keep your eyes closed. I’ll have to talk to Chanyeol. Lu Han might know a guy he might be interested in.”
Might. It wasn’t a total lie. Lu Han knew a lot of people. But Kris didn’t even blink.
“Okay.”
“You’d be okay with that? You guys are practically one person when we see you.”
“But we’re not one person. It’s good for Chanyeol to get out.”
Yixing scowled. He was getting his answers, but he wasn’t liking them. The way Kris sounded, he’d applaud Chanyeol if he started making out in the middle of any walkway while Kris watched. Maybe he should’ve brought in Lu Han. But Lu Han wasn’t the soul of tact at times. He might be useful in the counterattack. But apparently Yixing was still being too subtle.
“What would you say if Chanyeol asked you out?”
“On a date?”
There it was. Just for a moment, that brief flash of panic. Or maybe a passing cloud, but Yixing had seen something.
“Why does that frighten you? You guys get along so well. You spend so much time together when you’re not in classes. You go to movies and dinner together anyway, so it’d just be a date thing. With kissing. And sex.”
The gloves were off, and Kris gulped, his cheeks turning red even as he steeled up trying to become Fortress Kris against Yixing’s assault. But he already knew how to navigate that moat.
“We’re friends,” Kris said sternly. “Have you ask him about this, too? We’re friends. He’d tell you the same thing.”
“I haven’t had to ask him, because he’s broadcasting his feelings when even the smallest possibility of you dating comes up. And friends have started dating before.”
“I’ve dated several people while I’ve known him and he’s never had a problem.”
“Then his feelings have changed. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have a problem with you cuddling up to Joonmyun. Or did you totally not notice every time the sun ran away?”
Kris frowned. “I noticed he was moody, but I didn’t attribute that to Joonmyun.”
“It wasn’t until he knew Joonmyun wasn’t trying to get into your pants that he lightened up,” Yixing pointed out, sighing. He didn’t point out his role in that. “It sucks when you have feelings for someone, but you don’t think the other person feels the same. He’s just been broadcasting really loudly.”
“Why wouldn’t he say something to me?”
“Why didn’t you say something to him?”
“I don’t-“ Kris started, until Yixing made a loud noise and cut him off. “We’re friends.”
“So you think he thinks of you as a friend, and just kept your thoughts to yourself?”
“I’m older than him.”
Yixing groaned at the change in tactic. “By two whole years. Yeah, you’re really robbing the cradle. What else?”
“I didn’t think he even thought of me that way.”
“He might not be very subtle, but he even had me thinking that for a while,” Yixing admitted. “So if he asked you to go out with him, you’d say yes?”
Kris reached out, lightning fast, and covered Yixing’s hand with his and squeezed. Hard.
“You have to swear you’ll never tell him. Or suggest to him. Or ask someone to talk to him or suggest to him. Or tell him by email, or text, or smoke signal or-“
“I get it, I get it,” Yixing said, reaching with his free hand to squeeze Kris’s hand. “This stays between us. You and me.”
“I’d go out with him. But I don’t… I don’t want to lose what we have. I didn’t have a lot of friends in high school, and then I met you guys. And then he showed up.”
Yixing smirked. “Him and his sexy voice.”
“I just thought he was a cute kid back then,” Kris corrected him.
“A cute kid. With a sexy voice.”
Kris groaned and thunked his head on the table.
***
Yixing had two friends totally into each other who wouldn’t let each other know. The problem was, he didn’t know what to do about that, and not being able to tell anyone meant that he stared at Lu Han hoping he could somehow beam it into his mind.
“So, we invite Kris and Chanyeol. Joonmyun,” Yixing said, hoping to spark a brainwave.
He waited about twenty seconds of Lu Han humming, looking up and down Lu Han’s face.
“Chanyeol sure is a lot less grumpy now that Joonmyun is showing up with a boyfriend,” Lu Han mused. “Kind of makes you wonder.”
“Doesn’t it?” Yixing said, not trying to be too excited but actually squirming inside. That was the thing about sharing a brain with a friend. Lu Han had to catch on eventually, which meant that Yixing saying something didn’t have to happen.
“Do you think he’s into Kris? You do! I can see it on your face. Is Kris into him, too? The only time they’re not surgically connected is when they’re in class or studying. Remember when we teased Kris about getting a baby duckling?? Kris hasn’t been dating in a while. Oh my g- And he’s probably too dense to realize Chanyeol wants to do him! How do we fix this?”
Yixing just leaned back in his chair and tried not to smile
“I told Joonmyun to bring whoever he was dating so we could see how Chanyeol reacted.”
Lu Han narrowed his eyes at Yixing. “You’ve been holding out on me.”
“I didn’t want to say anything until I knew for sure. Plus I knew you’d pick up on it, too.”
Or he’d hoped, else he was stuck, just trying to nudge at Kris.
“So how do we get Kris to confess?” Lu Han mused.
“Why not Chanyeol?”
“Would Kris just think it was a joke? Chanyeol… I imagine that’d been disheartening if he tried to confess and Kris laughed it off. If Kris said something, he’d have to take it seriously.”
There was a certain logic to that. Though Yixing couldn’t just blurt out that Kris likely knew Chanyeol liked him, unless he thought Yixing was just having a bad mental day, which wasn’t unlikely.
“It’s possible,” Yixing said slowly, “that we shouldn’t do anything at all.”
Lu Han sent him a very concerned look. “If we do that, they’re going to realize it when they’re playing basketball together with aching knees at fifty. LIke, someone’s going to go “Gee, I liked you back in college” and then they’re realize they could have been banging for thirty years.”
Yixing acknowledged that possibility. But he also thought that sometimes evolutions in relationships happened for a reason. Kris was afraid of how their relationship might change, and Yixing didn’t know what all of those fears were. Pushing him before he was ready could be worse than never pushing him.
“I’ve got it,” Lu Han said. “We’ll get Kris drunk.”
***
Kris relaxed back against the booth. The drinks were flowing on their night out. Most of the group wasn’t there, just Yixing and Chanyeol, with Lu Han wandering in after. He’d had a few drinks, and kept eyeing Yixing as he pushed more toward him. He kept pushing them back. Getting drunk when he was out with his friends wasn’t his idea of a great time. That, and he needed to be at least partly sober to get Chanyeol back depending on how much he drank. Yixing and Lu Han were all pressed up together, as usual, Lu Han whispering whatever as Yixing laughed. Funny Yixing hadn’t noticed that.
Chanyeol was half in Kris’s lap before Kris moved aside to make room for him.
“This is fun!” Chanyeol said, slightly too loud for as close as he was.
It always was. They griped about school, about their absent friends - mostly in jest - and got to relax instead of stressing about assignments. Chanyeol was making humming noises as he stared at people slow dancing, and Kris couldn’t help but watch Chanyeol watch them. He wasn’t sure he’d seen Chanyeol dance before, except in funny ways. He did well enough with on the basketball court, but that was with a lot sheer determination to master his limbs.
He idly wonder what it would feel like to wrap his arms around Chanyeol and do what those couples were doing. Maybe Chanyeol would be squirming in embarrassment, or maybe he’d smile the soft smile and hold Kris tighter.
Kris shook his head and took the shot Yixing offered him.
An hour later, Chanyeol had migrated to talk to Lu Han who was flushed with the liquor he’d imbibed. Though, so was Yixing. Yixing. Kris stared at him, as though that would get his displeasure across. If he’d had something soft to throw, he’d have bounced it off of Yixing’s head. It was his fault, for even making Kris consider the idea. He’d been fine, just letting things be as they were. It was impossible to be lonely with their loud and interfering group of friends. He’d never been keen on dating anyway. Though there was that small voice that suggested that maybe he hadn’t found the right person to date. Someone he enjoyed spending time with. And he already knew what Chanyeol looked like flushed and sweaty. Just not from the activities they could be doing.
Scratch that, his stare became a scowl.
Chanyeol got up to go find the bathroom and Kris relaxed a bit. Until he figured out how to get things under control again, he was going to have to be careful.
“You’re not drinking,” Yixing said, poking at Kris’s hand on the table.
“I’ve had plenty.”
“No.” And Yixing said that with a dramatic shake of his head. “You need to looosen your mouth.”
“What?” Kris asked, watching Chanyeol slide back into the booth.
“You’re supposed to tell Chanyeol you like him,” Yixing said. Kris was fairly certain it was supposed to have been a whisper, but it came out louder.
“Yixing,” Lu Han said, as Kris’s world melted down. “Chanyeol is back.”
“Oh?”
“You’re not supposed to confess for him,” Lu Han hissed, yanking Yixing close enough so he could control him.
“Pretty,” Yixing murmured. And a moment later, Yixing and Lu Han were kissing. No, not just kissing, full on making out. Hands on the fly, tongues. He winced to see it, knowing they were probably going to regret doing that so publicly, but finally dared to look beside them.
Chanyeol’s mouth had fallen open, looking between Yixing and Lu Han, and Kris. But his face changed so fast, from surprise to something else. An expression where his chin tucked in, mouth pursed and eyebrows drawn. As if he’d found something incredibly puzzling, like a math problem he didn’t understand. Kris had seen that look before, and the Chanyeol that went with it wasn’t a happy one.
“Lu Han! I have to go,” Kris told Lu Han. “Can you get them both back?”
Lu Han managed to wrench his mouth from Yixing’s, blinking at Kris for a moment. “Huh? Oh. Yeah.”
Kris was going to have to take him at his word. He avoided looking at Chanyeol as he grabbed his jacket and then powered himself toward the exit. With any lucky Chanyeol would find it was funny, some joke he got later in the haze of alcohol and overshadowed by Yixing and Lu Han’s impromptu making out session.
“Kris!”
Kris slowed down because he had to. Because Chanyeol’s voice was urgent, and because he’d become so used to greeting the sound of his name in Chanyeol’s voice with a smile. Chanyeol walked up to him, steady, unimpaired.
“You left.”
“Watching them sucking face…” Kris said, deflecting.
“Yeah, but before that,” Chanyeol said. “You didn’t laugh it off. You didn’t- You didn’t tell Yixing he was drunk and being silly.”
“He gets giddy when he’s drinking sometimes.”
“I know.”
But Chanyeol lunged forward, grabbing at him.
“What are you doing, what-“
They struggled, Chanyeol trying to hold Kris’s jacket and Kris pushing him off.
“What are you doing?” Kris asked, holding Chanyeol’s wrists with both hands.
“You didn’t answer me.”
“What do you want me to tell you?”
“I don’t…” Chanyeol frowned.
Kris sighed. If he could be as sure as Yixing, he could tell Chanyeol everything. Or at least admit things. Chanyeol was staring at Kris’s throat, and he knew it wasn’t fair to himself that he kept it bottled up. The realization had come on so gradually, like hunger pangs. Chanyeol had been elbowing him in a booth one night, eyes lit and smile wide. He was so animated, he lifted Kris up, and that night lifted him up so high that he’d wanted to take Chanyeol’s chin and kiss him to feel that gasping laughter. But Chanyeol had been making a joke for Jongin, leaning across the table and Kris had drowned his impulse in his tea.
“Let’s take you home,” Kris said, squeezing Chanyeol’s wrists, and letting one go so he could start tugging Chanyeol along. He made it all of two steps before Chanyeol stopped dead, bracing himself against Kris’s momentum.
“What are you running away from?” It took a moment as Kris stared back at him, before Chanyeol’s eyes went wide. “Me? You like me, but you don’t want to date me? I don’t understand.”
“Not here,” Kris said. They were in the middle of the sidewalk. “Come with me.”
That time, Chanyeol complied, keeping up with him almost to the point that had Kris’s hand slipped just a bit lower, they would have been holding hands. He should just get it out, get it over with. Chanyeol would know, they’d move past it without much awkwardness - he hoped.
They both fumbled out of their shoes in Kris’s entryway, stepping up onto the smooth floor. Kris didn’t trust that his roommate wouldn’t come stumbling in, too, so he led Chanyeol to his room. That wasn’t weird. They’d studied, hung out, napped there. The only thing weird about it right then was the fact that Kris was over-thinking everything. That, and he knew he couldn’t get away without saying something.
But it felt very final, closing the door and closing the two of them inside. He wasn’t afraid of Chanyeol. He’d never been afraid. And the thing was, he knew Chanyeol wouldn’t get angry or try and beat him up. But hurt, or disappointment, that made him afraid.
“I do like you,” Kris told him, meeting his eyes briefly. “It started a while back, but Yixing wasn’t wrong.”
“And you told him, but not me?”
“No. He asked. He..saw, or assumed. I don’t know. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t know if you felt the same way. And I didn’t want-“
“To lose what we had,” Chanyeol finished for him.
“Have,” Kris corrected. It was a rational thought, one that even Chanyeol could see through. Maybe even one he’d had himself.
“Why did you think I didn’t like you?”
“You never made a fuss when I was dating,” Kris pointed out.
“At first I didn’t care, but you remember me suggesting you don’t bring your dates on group outings?”
Chanyeol’s face turned red as Kris stared at him. He did remember that, but he’d written it off as Chanyeol wanting more time with him since Kris was having to put off time with Chanyeol to go on dates. It hadn’t bothered him overly much, and the guy he’d been dating hadn’t cared - actually that should’ve been a sign to Kris, because they’d broken up a couple of months later.
“It got harder to see you dating. I thought…” Chanyeol bit his lip. “I thought you might be into Joonmyun for a while.”
“Yixing said something about that,” Kris marveled. And when Chanyeol looked alarmed, Kris clarified. “He was trying to tell me that you liked me, that you were jealous, because you didn’t like it when Joonmyun was around.”
“I didn’t,” Chanyeol said, his mouth turning down at the corners.
“And you didn’t tell me?”
Chanyeol’s eyes shot up, ready to defend himself, until he saw Kris’s face. He could feel the smile tugging as Chanyeol stared at him. Had he thought he was going to try and turn Chanyeol away? There wasn’t much chance of that.
“You weren’t dating much either,” Kris told him.
“It’s not easy when everyone kept getting compared to you. They weren’t as tall, or as much fun to hang out with, or…” Chanyeol shrugged one shoulder, almost swaying with the movement. “I didn’t have any right to be jealous. We weren’t dating. I love our friends-”
“I guess you’d have a right to be jealous now.” Chanyeol gaped at him, and Kris lifted a hand to his own neck. It was awkward.
It was a confession on both their parts. Not taking a chance was stupid. Not-
Chanyeol leaped at him. Something that wouldn’t have been a problem if Chanyeol had been a foot shorter or thirty pounds lighter. He staggered hard against his bed, knees almost buckling as Chanyeol kissed him. Frantic kisses, wet and quick, as Chanyeol held his face. A breathless minute, until Chanyeol pulled back, chest heaving.
“Please tell me that was you asking me out,” Chanyeol said.
The grin was immediate at Chanyeol’s words. “Is that a yes?”
Chanyeol merged into his arms like he belonged there. The perfect height to kiss, to wrap his arms around. He’d watched Chanyeol smile so many times, his whole face bright with it. And it was breaking his mind that he was actually there, with one of Chanyeol’s hands in his hair and Chanyeol’s lips dragging against his.
“Bed. Jackets,” Kris mumbled, his fingers sliding deep in Chanyeol’s back pockets.
Something about that made sense as Chanyeol laughed and shrugged out of his jacket, one arm at a time. Further discussion, not necessary. Not yet anyway. He hitched Chanyeol onto the bed with him. They had a lot of kissing to make up for.
***
Kris threw himself off of the bed when his phone went off, too conditioned to the sound of it being his alarm to realize until he was already rustling through his clothes, that it was the weekend. There was a faint moan of a protest from the bed, and Kris answered the call because “Zhang Yixing” being shouted at him from the screen was requiring him to.
“Hey? It’s early?” he said, easing back onto the bed. Chanyeol still had his underwear on, so his memory of what they did before sleeping wasn’t totally incorrect.
“Kris, I’m so sorry.”
“Hm?”
“Lu Han told me I said something in front of Chanyeol last night. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. You were drunk, and you didn’t think he could hear. Did you stay with Lu Han last night?”
“Yes,” Lu Han said almost into the phone, so Kris knew he’d been listening. “He’s also turning red right now.”
“Did you guys leave after we did? Or just make out in front of everyone?”
Sure, he wasn’t angry with Yixing, but a little torture couldn’t hurt.
Kris reached out while he waited for an answer, and smiled watching the skin of Chanyeol’s back shudder under his fingers.
“We left,” Yixing confirmed. “Was Chanyeol okay? He wasn’t upset? I can talk to him if you need me to.”
“No, he was fine.” Kris leaned down, whispering into Chanyeol’s ear, and then holding the phone to Chanyeol’s face.
Of course instead of teasing Yixing like he’d suggested, Chanyeol sleepily murmured, “Kris is amazing.”
He snatched the phone back in time to hear almost identical shouts and tried not to feel too satisfied with himself. He poked Chanyeol’s back and just barely could see the smile.
“He stayed over?! Tell me you’re not getting back at me by playing me, Kris, I swear-“
“I’m not playing. I’ll talk to you guys later.”
He ended the call, tossing his phone aside in favor of moving against Chanyeol’s back and pressing a kiss to his shoulder.
“Good morning.”
“Too early.”
Kris chuckled. “What do you have to do today.”
Chanyeol held up one hand, and lifted his fingers one by one. “Be with you. Eat. Go back to sleep right now.”
It seemed like Chanyeol’s priorities fit his exactly.
***
Pairing: Kris/Chanyeol
Rating: PG-13
Genre: college AU
Prompt: krisyeol being long time best friends, they are also in love with each other but are too dense to realize.
***
Everyone thought they were dating. Everyone. Not just good guy friends who burped together, and scratched their balls, and watched sports on TV to the dismay of everyone around them. They also traded halves of sandwiches, and went to movies together, and played one on one basketball games together, and took naps arranged on one or the other’s body parts in front of anyone who cared to look. There was almost no saying one name without the other, and if they went on vacation, there was no asking who Chanyeol would room with. It was just understood. They tended to enter rooms together, lost in conversation, and Kris had a distracting habit of throwing his arm around Chanyeol’s shoulders and pulling him in. Pretty much from the first moment they’d met, when Chanyeol had been a wide-eyed freshman with a surprisingly deep voice, they’d been inseparable. Chanyeol had imprinted on Kris like a baby chick, and thus the “Kris and Chanyeol bubble” had been formed.
People asked Yixing quietly if they were dating, and he usually told them no. No one wanted to ask Kris, whose frown scared people. And Chanyeol was usually too busy leaning across Kris’s lap to talk to Baekhyun, or Sehun, or Jongin. Kris took it like a man who had no other real choice, with fond looks, occasionally shoving Chanyeol to the floor so he could get up or talk to other people himself. Yixing had dismissed it, too, at first, thinking they just had one of those relationships where everything clicked.
At least until Yixing noticed that Kris was starting to schedule dates around outings with Chanyeol, or cancel them entirely if Chanyeol needed him. That wasn’t weird, exactly, as much as it told him that Kris was a good friend. He was, and Yixing knew that. They’d leaned on each other a lot. And Chanyeol didn’t seem to date as much as he seemed to pick up people and add them to his circle which was how their group of friends seemed to keep having an extra person every month or two.
And then there was Joonmyun. He’d been friends with them as well, part of their Mandarin club for exchange students and those who were learning. He was serious, studious, intent on learning, and he’d been paired with Kris from the first as they practiced both English and Mandarin together. That was the first time Yixing really thought something was up, because Chanyeol’s perpetually happy face went almost pouty as Kris sat beside Joonmyun for a chat.
Now, no one among their group was calling Yixing the smartest. He did well in his classes, but sometimes… Well, even he admitted he missed the obvious. But it happened again, and again. And the time varied between Kris talking to Joonmyun and Chanyeol going stiff and silent as Kris laughed. It was something Chanyeol never did, even when Kris was wedged in with Lu Han - always handsy with him, or with Yixing, who’d known him longest. At most Chanyeol sent a few amused looks, and maybe fond ones. But nothing like the way that Chanyeol snapped at people with Joonmyun was with them, going suddenly cloudy when everyone’s mood was light.
Yixing watched Joonmyun’s face fall as he joked to Chanyeol, and Chanyeol just sullenly replied, not at all like he was with the others. Chanyeol was lucky that it was Yixing he noticed, and not Lu Han, because at least he had tact. Mostly.
“Joonmyun’s in a couple of classes with Kris this semester isn’t he?”
Chanyeol looked at him liked he’d been kicked. “Yeah. Why?”
“It’s just nice to have someone you know to study with, that’s all.”
That gave him part of his answer. Yixing went to Joonmyun next. “Are you dating anyone right now? Girlfriend? Boyfriend?”
“I’ve been seeing someone for a few weeks,” Joonmyun said. “A guy. Why?”
“Why don’t you bring him this weekend when we go out for pizza? If that doesn’t chase him away, nothing will, right?”
Joonmyun laughed, not agreeing out of niceness, but Yixing knew it was pretty much true. If a guy could navigate their group of friends, he was a keeper.
And it turned out Jongdae was good looking, a little sarcastic, and always had his hand on some part of Joonmyun. And Yixing watched Chanyeol, who relaxed a little bit more as the night went on. He even offered Joonmyun the breadsticks, giving him a smile. It was a truce, it seemed, and Joonmyun smiled back at him.
“Kris isn’t dating anyone right now is he? Do you think we should set him up?” Yixing asked Chanyeol.
“I don’t think he’s interested in dating right now,” Chanyeol said quickly.
And that was when Yixing knew for sure. Chanyeol was jealous of Kris. Not in a way that indicated he just wanted more of Kris’s time, but because he didn’t want Kris to be dating Joonmyun, or anyone.
It seemed in the process of being the closest friends, Chanyeol had fallen a little deeper than that. And he was easier to read, his feelings all over.
Yixing knew what unrequited feelings were like. Much less the kind that had Chanyeol reacting, smile faltering as Kris smiled at someone who might take him away. Not as a friend, but something more.
***
Finding out Kris’s feelings was harder. He couldn’t be as subtle, really. Chanyeol he’d been lucky enough to manipulate into showing his feelings - no, that sounded cold. He’d maneuvered. That was better. But Kris couldn’t be maneuvered. He was friends with, supportive of almost everyone. There was no one Yixing could throw at Chanyeol to see if Kris was jealous, because Chanyeol was Chanyeol. Kris would just see it as him finding another friend. Nothing at Kris’s level, of course. Kris could not be described as codependent.
Yixing settled on cornering him.
“You haven’t dated in a while,” Yixing said, after they’d gotten two cups of tea and had caught up otherwise.
“You taking an interest in my dating life?” Kris asked, brows raising. “Chanyeol told me you’d asked about me dating, too.”
Of course he would have. Chanyeol knew no subtlety and he’d have wanted an answer on the subject himself, Yixing assumed, since the seed had been planted.
“I told him I was busy, and people to date don’t just appear, so I wasn’t worried about it,” Kris explained.
“You’re not that busy. If you have time to meet me for tea. Plus you and Chanyeol are always going out-“
“There isn’t anyone to date,” Kris said. “I could make time. But there’s… There’s no one.”
It was said in typical Kris fashion but all of Yixing’s senses were telling him something different.
“Well, just don’t keep your eyes closed. I’ll have to talk to Chanyeol. Lu Han might know a guy he might be interested in.”
Might. It wasn’t a total lie. Lu Han knew a lot of people. But Kris didn’t even blink.
“Okay.”
“You’d be okay with that? You guys are practically one person when we see you.”
“But we’re not one person. It’s good for Chanyeol to get out.”
Yixing scowled. He was getting his answers, but he wasn’t liking them. The way Kris sounded, he’d applaud Chanyeol if he started making out in the middle of any walkway while Kris watched. Maybe he should’ve brought in Lu Han. But Lu Han wasn’t the soul of tact at times. He might be useful in the counterattack. But apparently Yixing was still being too subtle.
“What would you say if Chanyeol asked you out?”
“On a date?”
There it was. Just for a moment, that brief flash of panic. Or maybe a passing cloud, but Yixing had seen something.
“Why does that frighten you? You guys get along so well. You spend so much time together when you’re not in classes. You go to movies and dinner together anyway, so it’d just be a date thing. With kissing. And sex.”
The gloves were off, and Kris gulped, his cheeks turning red even as he steeled up trying to become Fortress Kris against Yixing’s assault. But he already knew how to navigate that moat.
“We’re friends,” Kris said sternly. “Have you ask him about this, too? We’re friends. He’d tell you the same thing.”
“I haven’t had to ask him, because he’s broadcasting his feelings when even the smallest possibility of you dating comes up. And friends have started dating before.”
“I’ve dated several people while I’ve known him and he’s never had a problem.”
“Then his feelings have changed. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have a problem with you cuddling up to Joonmyun. Or did you totally not notice every time the sun ran away?”
Kris frowned. “I noticed he was moody, but I didn’t attribute that to Joonmyun.”
“It wasn’t until he knew Joonmyun wasn’t trying to get into your pants that he lightened up,” Yixing pointed out, sighing. He didn’t point out his role in that. “It sucks when you have feelings for someone, but you don’t think the other person feels the same. He’s just been broadcasting really loudly.”
“Why wouldn’t he say something to me?”
“Why didn’t you say something to him?”
“I don’t-“ Kris started, until Yixing made a loud noise and cut him off. “We’re friends.”
“So you think he thinks of you as a friend, and just kept your thoughts to yourself?”
“I’m older than him.”
Yixing groaned at the change in tactic. “By two whole years. Yeah, you’re really robbing the cradle. What else?”
“I didn’t think he even thought of me that way.”
“He might not be very subtle, but he even had me thinking that for a while,” Yixing admitted. “So if he asked you to go out with him, you’d say yes?”
Kris reached out, lightning fast, and covered Yixing’s hand with his and squeezed. Hard.
“You have to swear you’ll never tell him. Or suggest to him. Or ask someone to talk to him or suggest to him. Or tell him by email, or text, or smoke signal or-“
“I get it, I get it,” Yixing said, reaching with his free hand to squeeze Kris’s hand. “This stays between us. You and me.”
“I’d go out with him. But I don’t… I don’t want to lose what we have. I didn’t have a lot of friends in high school, and then I met you guys. And then he showed up.”
Yixing smirked. “Him and his sexy voice.”
“I just thought he was a cute kid back then,” Kris corrected him.
“A cute kid. With a sexy voice.”
Kris groaned and thunked his head on the table.
***
Yixing had two friends totally into each other who wouldn’t let each other know. The problem was, he didn’t know what to do about that, and not being able to tell anyone meant that he stared at Lu Han hoping he could somehow beam it into his mind.
“So, we invite Kris and Chanyeol. Joonmyun,” Yixing said, hoping to spark a brainwave.
He waited about twenty seconds of Lu Han humming, looking up and down Lu Han’s face.
“Chanyeol sure is a lot less grumpy now that Joonmyun is showing up with a boyfriend,” Lu Han mused. “Kind of makes you wonder.”
“Doesn’t it?” Yixing said, not trying to be too excited but actually squirming inside. That was the thing about sharing a brain with a friend. Lu Han had to catch on eventually, which meant that Yixing saying something didn’t have to happen.
“Do you think he’s into Kris? You do! I can see it on your face. Is Kris into him, too? The only time they’re not surgically connected is when they’re in class or studying. Remember when we teased Kris about getting a baby duckling?? Kris hasn’t been dating in a while. Oh my g- And he’s probably too dense to realize Chanyeol wants to do him! How do we fix this?”
Yixing just leaned back in his chair and tried not to smile
“I told Joonmyun to bring whoever he was dating so we could see how Chanyeol reacted.”
Lu Han narrowed his eyes at Yixing. “You’ve been holding out on me.”
“I didn’t want to say anything until I knew for sure. Plus I knew you’d pick up on it, too.”
Or he’d hoped, else he was stuck, just trying to nudge at Kris.
“So how do we get Kris to confess?” Lu Han mused.
“Why not Chanyeol?”
“Would Kris just think it was a joke? Chanyeol… I imagine that’d been disheartening if he tried to confess and Kris laughed it off. If Kris said something, he’d have to take it seriously.”
There was a certain logic to that. Though Yixing couldn’t just blurt out that Kris likely knew Chanyeol liked him, unless he thought Yixing was just having a bad mental day, which wasn’t unlikely.
“It’s possible,” Yixing said slowly, “that we shouldn’t do anything at all.”
Lu Han sent him a very concerned look. “If we do that, they’re going to realize it when they’re playing basketball together with aching knees at fifty. LIke, someone’s going to go “Gee, I liked you back in college” and then they’re realize they could have been banging for thirty years.”
Yixing acknowledged that possibility. But he also thought that sometimes evolutions in relationships happened for a reason. Kris was afraid of how their relationship might change, and Yixing didn’t know what all of those fears were. Pushing him before he was ready could be worse than never pushing him.
“I’ve got it,” Lu Han said. “We’ll get Kris drunk.”
***
Kris relaxed back against the booth. The drinks were flowing on their night out. Most of the group wasn’t there, just Yixing and Chanyeol, with Lu Han wandering in after. He’d had a few drinks, and kept eyeing Yixing as he pushed more toward him. He kept pushing them back. Getting drunk when he was out with his friends wasn’t his idea of a great time. That, and he needed to be at least partly sober to get Chanyeol back depending on how much he drank. Yixing and Lu Han were all pressed up together, as usual, Lu Han whispering whatever as Yixing laughed. Funny Yixing hadn’t noticed that.
Chanyeol was half in Kris’s lap before Kris moved aside to make room for him.
“This is fun!” Chanyeol said, slightly too loud for as close as he was.
It always was. They griped about school, about their absent friends - mostly in jest - and got to relax instead of stressing about assignments. Chanyeol was making humming noises as he stared at people slow dancing, and Kris couldn’t help but watch Chanyeol watch them. He wasn’t sure he’d seen Chanyeol dance before, except in funny ways. He did well enough with on the basketball court, but that was with a lot sheer determination to master his limbs.
He idly wonder what it would feel like to wrap his arms around Chanyeol and do what those couples were doing. Maybe Chanyeol would be squirming in embarrassment, or maybe he’d smile the soft smile and hold Kris tighter.
Kris shook his head and took the shot Yixing offered him.
An hour later, Chanyeol had migrated to talk to Lu Han who was flushed with the liquor he’d imbibed. Though, so was Yixing. Yixing. Kris stared at him, as though that would get his displeasure across. If he’d had something soft to throw, he’d have bounced it off of Yixing’s head. It was his fault, for even making Kris consider the idea. He’d been fine, just letting things be as they were. It was impossible to be lonely with their loud and interfering group of friends. He’d never been keen on dating anyway. Though there was that small voice that suggested that maybe he hadn’t found the right person to date. Someone he enjoyed spending time with. And he already knew what Chanyeol looked like flushed and sweaty. Just not from the activities they could be doing.
Scratch that, his stare became a scowl.
Chanyeol got up to go find the bathroom and Kris relaxed a bit. Until he figured out how to get things under control again, he was going to have to be careful.
“You’re not drinking,” Yixing said, poking at Kris’s hand on the table.
“I’ve had plenty.”
“No.” And Yixing said that with a dramatic shake of his head. “You need to looosen your mouth.”
“What?” Kris asked, watching Chanyeol slide back into the booth.
“You’re supposed to tell Chanyeol you like him,” Yixing said. Kris was fairly certain it was supposed to have been a whisper, but it came out louder.
“Yixing,” Lu Han said, as Kris’s world melted down. “Chanyeol is back.”
“Oh?”
“You’re not supposed to confess for him,” Lu Han hissed, yanking Yixing close enough so he could control him.
“Pretty,” Yixing murmured. And a moment later, Yixing and Lu Han were kissing. No, not just kissing, full on making out. Hands on the fly, tongues. He winced to see it, knowing they were probably going to regret doing that so publicly, but finally dared to look beside them.
Chanyeol’s mouth had fallen open, looking between Yixing and Lu Han, and Kris. But his face changed so fast, from surprise to something else. An expression where his chin tucked in, mouth pursed and eyebrows drawn. As if he’d found something incredibly puzzling, like a math problem he didn’t understand. Kris had seen that look before, and the Chanyeol that went with it wasn’t a happy one.
“Lu Han! I have to go,” Kris told Lu Han. “Can you get them both back?”
Lu Han managed to wrench his mouth from Yixing’s, blinking at Kris for a moment. “Huh? Oh. Yeah.”
Kris was going to have to take him at his word. He avoided looking at Chanyeol as he grabbed his jacket and then powered himself toward the exit. With any lucky Chanyeol would find it was funny, some joke he got later in the haze of alcohol and overshadowed by Yixing and Lu Han’s impromptu making out session.
“Kris!”
Kris slowed down because he had to. Because Chanyeol’s voice was urgent, and because he’d become so used to greeting the sound of his name in Chanyeol’s voice with a smile. Chanyeol walked up to him, steady, unimpaired.
“You left.”
“Watching them sucking face…” Kris said, deflecting.
“Yeah, but before that,” Chanyeol said. “You didn’t laugh it off. You didn’t- You didn’t tell Yixing he was drunk and being silly.”
“He gets giddy when he’s drinking sometimes.”
“I know.”
But Chanyeol lunged forward, grabbing at him.
“What are you doing, what-“
They struggled, Chanyeol trying to hold Kris’s jacket and Kris pushing him off.
“What are you doing?” Kris asked, holding Chanyeol’s wrists with both hands.
“You didn’t answer me.”
“What do you want me to tell you?”
“I don’t…” Chanyeol frowned.
Kris sighed. If he could be as sure as Yixing, he could tell Chanyeol everything. Or at least admit things. Chanyeol was staring at Kris’s throat, and he knew it wasn’t fair to himself that he kept it bottled up. The realization had come on so gradually, like hunger pangs. Chanyeol had been elbowing him in a booth one night, eyes lit and smile wide. He was so animated, he lifted Kris up, and that night lifted him up so high that he’d wanted to take Chanyeol’s chin and kiss him to feel that gasping laughter. But Chanyeol had been making a joke for Jongin, leaning across the table and Kris had drowned his impulse in his tea.
“Let’s take you home,” Kris said, squeezing Chanyeol’s wrists, and letting one go so he could start tugging Chanyeol along. He made it all of two steps before Chanyeol stopped dead, bracing himself against Kris’s momentum.
“What are you running away from?” It took a moment as Kris stared back at him, before Chanyeol’s eyes went wide. “Me? You like me, but you don’t want to date me? I don’t understand.”
“Not here,” Kris said. They were in the middle of the sidewalk. “Come with me.”
That time, Chanyeol complied, keeping up with him almost to the point that had Kris’s hand slipped just a bit lower, they would have been holding hands. He should just get it out, get it over with. Chanyeol would know, they’d move past it without much awkwardness - he hoped.
They both fumbled out of their shoes in Kris’s entryway, stepping up onto the smooth floor. Kris didn’t trust that his roommate wouldn’t come stumbling in, too, so he led Chanyeol to his room. That wasn’t weird. They’d studied, hung out, napped there. The only thing weird about it right then was the fact that Kris was over-thinking everything. That, and he knew he couldn’t get away without saying something.
But it felt very final, closing the door and closing the two of them inside. He wasn’t afraid of Chanyeol. He’d never been afraid. And the thing was, he knew Chanyeol wouldn’t get angry or try and beat him up. But hurt, or disappointment, that made him afraid.
“I do like you,” Kris told him, meeting his eyes briefly. “It started a while back, but Yixing wasn’t wrong.”
“And you told him, but not me?”
“No. He asked. He..saw, or assumed. I don’t know. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t know if you felt the same way. And I didn’t want-“
“To lose what we had,” Chanyeol finished for him.
“Have,” Kris corrected. It was a rational thought, one that even Chanyeol could see through. Maybe even one he’d had himself.
“Why did you think I didn’t like you?”
“You never made a fuss when I was dating,” Kris pointed out.
“At first I didn’t care, but you remember me suggesting you don’t bring your dates on group outings?”
Chanyeol’s face turned red as Kris stared at him. He did remember that, but he’d written it off as Chanyeol wanting more time with him since Kris was having to put off time with Chanyeol to go on dates. It hadn’t bothered him overly much, and the guy he’d been dating hadn’t cared - actually that should’ve been a sign to Kris, because they’d broken up a couple of months later.
“It got harder to see you dating. I thought…” Chanyeol bit his lip. “I thought you might be into Joonmyun for a while.”
“Yixing said something about that,” Kris marveled. And when Chanyeol looked alarmed, Kris clarified. “He was trying to tell me that you liked me, that you were jealous, because you didn’t like it when Joonmyun was around.”
“I didn’t,” Chanyeol said, his mouth turning down at the corners.
“And you didn’t tell me?”
Chanyeol’s eyes shot up, ready to defend himself, until he saw Kris’s face. He could feel the smile tugging as Chanyeol stared at him. Had he thought he was going to try and turn Chanyeol away? There wasn’t much chance of that.
“You weren’t dating much either,” Kris told him.
“It’s not easy when everyone kept getting compared to you. They weren’t as tall, or as much fun to hang out with, or…” Chanyeol shrugged one shoulder, almost swaying with the movement. “I didn’t have any right to be jealous. We weren’t dating. I love our friends-”
“I guess you’d have a right to be jealous now.” Chanyeol gaped at him, and Kris lifted a hand to his own neck. It was awkward.
It was a confession on both their parts. Not taking a chance was stupid. Not-
Chanyeol leaped at him. Something that wouldn’t have been a problem if Chanyeol had been a foot shorter or thirty pounds lighter. He staggered hard against his bed, knees almost buckling as Chanyeol kissed him. Frantic kisses, wet and quick, as Chanyeol held his face. A breathless minute, until Chanyeol pulled back, chest heaving.
“Please tell me that was you asking me out,” Chanyeol said.
The grin was immediate at Chanyeol’s words. “Is that a yes?”
Chanyeol merged into his arms like he belonged there. The perfect height to kiss, to wrap his arms around. He’d watched Chanyeol smile so many times, his whole face bright with it. And it was breaking his mind that he was actually there, with one of Chanyeol’s hands in his hair and Chanyeol’s lips dragging against his.
“Bed. Jackets,” Kris mumbled, his fingers sliding deep in Chanyeol’s back pockets.
Something about that made sense as Chanyeol laughed and shrugged out of his jacket, one arm at a time. Further discussion, not necessary. Not yet anyway. He hitched Chanyeol onto the bed with him. They had a lot of kissing to make up for.
***
Kris threw himself off of the bed when his phone went off, too conditioned to the sound of it being his alarm to realize until he was already rustling through his clothes, that it was the weekend. There was a faint moan of a protest from the bed, and Kris answered the call because “Zhang Yixing” being shouted at him from the screen was requiring him to.
“Hey? It’s early?” he said, easing back onto the bed. Chanyeol still had his underwear on, so his memory of what they did before sleeping wasn’t totally incorrect.
“Kris, I’m so sorry.”
“Hm?”
“Lu Han told me I said something in front of Chanyeol last night. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. You were drunk, and you didn’t think he could hear. Did you stay with Lu Han last night?”
“Yes,” Lu Han said almost into the phone, so Kris knew he’d been listening. “He’s also turning red right now.”
“Did you guys leave after we did? Or just make out in front of everyone?”
Sure, he wasn’t angry with Yixing, but a little torture couldn’t hurt.
Kris reached out while he waited for an answer, and smiled watching the skin of Chanyeol’s back shudder under his fingers.
“We left,” Yixing confirmed. “Was Chanyeol okay? He wasn’t upset? I can talk to him if you need me to.”
“No, he was fine.” Kris leaned down, whispering into Chanyeol’s ear, and then holding the phone to Chanyeol’s face.
Of course instead of teasing Yixing like he’d suggested, Chanyeol sleepily murmured, “Kris is amazing.”
He snatched the phone back in time to hear almost identical shouts and tried not to feel too satisfied with himself. He poked Chanyeol’s back and just barely could see the smile.
“He stayed over?! Tell me you’re not getting back at me by playing me, Kris, I swear-“
“I’m not playing. I’ll talk to you guys later.”
He ended the call, tossing his phone aside in favor of moving against Chanyeol’s back and pressing a kiss to his shoulder.
“Good morning.”
“Too early.”
Kris chuckled. “What do you have to do today.”
Chanyeol held up one hand, and lifted his fingers one by one. “Be with you. Eat. Go back to sleep right now.”
It seemed like Chanyeol’s priorities fit his exactly.
***