[Fic] Company Time - 9/10
Title: Company Time
Author: Coley Merrin
Pairing: Kyuhyun/Zhou Mi (either/or)
Rating: NC-17
Genre: AU
Summary: Kyuhyun's new coworker brings new challenges to his stuffy cubicle life. And the only problem bigger than realizing that Zhou Mi is living denial, is actually starting to believe him.
***
Chapter One * Chapter Two * Chapter Three * Chapter Four * Chapter Five * Chapter Six * Chapter Seven * Chapter Eight * Chapter Nine * Chapter Ten
***
It was typical for them. Eating, getting a few drinks. Squeezing into a subway car and laughing about anything, really. Or that day in silence, arms lightly together, hanging on tight so they didn’t squash people. It was comfortable. Making a random comment on the station they were at, or some memory, but lapsing into quiet. Letting his neck roll back as they stopped, hip bumping Zhou Mi’s. He didn’t really have a doubt about what he wanted, or what they were aiming for. Grinding together, sucking each other off. It was nice. But he’d been the one in the store pouring over condoms and lube, making sure he had everything they needed in the instance they actually got to it. Wearing Zhou Mi’s favorite tie of his hadn’t exactly been meant as an invitation to get it on, but if that was where they were going, he was on that train.
“So, you’re still free tomorrow, right?” Zhou Mi asked as he unlocked his door.
“Yes?” He vaguely remembered Zhou Mi confirming that fact with him the day before, or the day before that, or whatever. It wasn’t like his weekends were full to the brim, and he assumed Zhou Mi wasn’t asking to check and see if he was washing his clothes or something. Part of his head was grumpy for his free time, but he was curious as to why Zhou Mi seemed to be plotting days in advance.
“Good. We might have to go a little early tomorrow, but it’ll be worth it. I swear.”
He stared as they got their shoes off. “So what exactly are you planning? Are we going international, meeting royalty?”
Zhou Mi laughed, setting down his bag. “No. But I don’t want to tell you yet. It’s a surprise!”
“Am I going to like it?”
“I hope so.”
“Well, take your worry away and just tell me,” he prodded, eyeballing Zhou Mi as he started to edge away.
“Make me.”
The singsonging words and the man darting back into his apartment all but begged him to give chase.
“I’m sorry, did you leave something in my bedroom last time?” he joked, following Zhou Mi into the bedroom. He’d sort of cleaned that morning, so the bed wasn’t a total mess. But he wasn’t really focused on the bed, as he propped his suit jacket over the chair back. “Come on, tell me what you want to do tomorrow.”
“No,” Zhou Mi said, tossing his shirt onto the chair as well. It gave Kyuhyun the opportunity to get his hand on him, running up the sides of Zhou Mi’s fitted undershirt. “You can’t make me.”
He could damn well try, fingers darting under Zhou Mi’s arms to tickle, and getting an armful of laughing, squirming man who still wouldn’t tell him. And when that faded, Zhou Mi gripping his hips and kissing him effectively distracted him from his goal.
“It’s a surprise for you,” Zhou Mi murmured against his mouth.
“Better be awesome then,” he muttered.
“It will be. And I was right,” Zhou Mi said, fussing with Kyuhyun’s shirt collar. He’d left the tie hanging. Sue him. “This looks amazing on you.”
Letting Zhou Mi do as he wanted was no trial, standing still and letting Zhou Mi unbutton his shirt. Watching Zhou Mi’s face wasn’t a problem either. The material of the tie felt a little funny as Zhou Mi kept it draped it against his neck, carefully looping, tucking. Tying it again for him. He laughed, staring down at his chest.
“Is this a new fashion statement?” he asked.
“Looks good on you even without the shirt,” Zhou Mi told him, and kissed his shoulder.
Somehow it was a little harder than he thought, but he managed, cupping that jaw and getting Zhou Mi’s face against his. Tasting each ridge of that mouth, the texture of his lips. Demanding, no, inviting Zhou Mi in. Moaning as Zhou Mi squeezed his ass with both hands. His skin against Zhou Mi’s undershirt, his knees rubbing against Zhou Mi’s, hips one sinuous rocking motion after another.
“You have condoms?” Zhou Mi asked hoarsely between kisses.
“Uh. Yes.”
And he was gratified again that not only was Zhou Mi on the same page as him, but that he wanted just the same. He wasn’t sure whether he should be scared witless or excited beyond belief.
The heat that pooled in his groin indicated which.
He pulled Zhou Mi with him, both of Zhou Mi’s hands on his back, urging him. And stripping, to Kyuhyun’s chagrin, as Kyuhyun rummaged for supplies. He wasn’t even sure where to look when he turned around. Zhou Mi’s thighs? Shoulders? Stomach? Face? He sucked in his lower lip in appreciation when it became clear that Zhou Mi was at the very least as eager as he was. Though he laughed inside at the pretty blue briefs. He hadn’t exactly paid attention earlier. But Zhou Mi surely had known why he’d been coming over, so maybe he’d worn them with Kyuhyun in mind. There wasn’t any way he was putting that past Zhou Mi.
He didn’t think he’d call the man stepping out of them pretty, but that didn’t mean Kyuhyun wanted him less. He wasn’t even sure how many condoms he flung at the bed, pausing just long enough to see that they and the lube container made it safely.
He didn’t think he’d ever been that keyed up for sex, that he trembled to undo the last of his clothes. Fingers slipping on his pants button, and all but wrenching down the zipper. Zhou Mi helped with that, and he kissed the center of Zhou Mi’s chest, ridding himself of his pants. He wanted Zhou Mi in the bed, and quick.
He regretted not investing in a larger bed, knowing they could barely lay on it shoulder to shoulder. But it didn’t matter. They weren’t going to be beside each other. Someone was going to be on top. And he had a suspicion that was going to be Zhou Mi. Given the option as a man used to thinking of being on top by default, he had no illusions about what to expect. The prospect wasn’t a bad one, and he was turned on enough to want anything anyway. And if it was Zhou Mi’s cock inside him, then he was signing up for it without delay. He was coming either way, after all.
All limbs had made it on the bed when he realized he still had on the tie. But even then, Zhou Mi with a thigh hot against his, stopped him.
“Leave it, please?”
“Who’s going to clean that if we get it dirty?”
Zhou Mi laughed. “I will, Kui Xian. Don’t worry. I like it too much on you.”
“You’re hogging the bed, scoot over.”
Zhou Mi shook his head. “I like it where I am.”
Where he was, which was taking up most of the middle of the bed.
On his back.
He was pretty sure his brain had taken a left turn or got lost while he went from upright to laying down. Zhou Mi wanted to stay on his back? His body was leaping ahead on what that meant for it.
Skin was fucking amazing, he summarized. His skin, Zhou Mi’s skin, everyone’s skin. That mouth was dark from their kisses, and the skin of Zhou Mi’s chest shuddered where he stroked it. And when their legs slid together, it took only a slight tilt of hips to lay his erection against Zhou Mi’s. Displacing Zhou Mi’s hand where he had been stroking himself. And smiling as Zhou Mi’s fingers grazed him. He inhaled against Zhou Mi’s throat, and nearly planted an elbow on the lube.
“You’re sure about this?” he asked, bumping his hips down into Zhou Mi’s. If they were going to have sex, and Zhou Mi wanted to be under him? He wanted to be pretty sure.
“If you are,” Zhou Mi said, tracing Kyuhyun’s throat.
Another experiment, his mind whispered. Wants to see if he likes getting fucked instead of just fucking.
He didn’t care why Zhou Mi wanted it, or why Zhou Mi was spreading his legs for him, or anything of the three hundred other questions. He just knew that the only thing between him and spilling into a condom was actually getting inside that body. And if Zhou Mi didn’t freak out before that, then there was no stopping him.
But no, he fucking did care.
“Have you done it like this before?” he asked, hand grasping at Zhou Mi’s.
“No,” Zhou Mi said, and confirmed his hunch. “This is… This is the only thing I haven’t done, the only way I haven’t done it. And I don’t want this to be over too soon, too. Even if it’s something I want to try, I want it to be with you. If that’s what you want.”
His brain was on hold, staring at Zhou Mi. Okay, and that wasn’t the answer he was expecting at all. Trust? Desire? That Zhou Mi trusted him enough, wanted him enough. Sex in the end was sex, but this was something bigger.
“But if you’d rather, I’d-”
“No,” Kyuhyun insisted. And insisted even more than that, pressing Zhou Mi back into the pillow and kissing him until the protest left him. No he didn’t rather that Zhou Mi do anything. And the more he thought about it, the more the idea appealed. Kind of like a gift. One with big brown eyes that considered him with some wariness. “No, I want it.”
Not remembering how long it had been since the last time he’d be in someone wasn’t exactly like not knowing how long ago his birthday was. And his analysis wasn’t so much on himself, though he wasn’t going to make Zhou Mi stop stroking his cock for anything. But the realization as he squeezed lube onto his hand, that he could potentially turn Zhou Mi off guys forever? Okay, that was too dramatic. But at least turn him off from the position they were going to be in. That was kind of a big one. And the way Zhou Mi had offered, if he had protested Zhou Mi would’ve fucked him instead. But his pride interjected. Getting cold feet then was like telling himself he couldn’t do a good job, that he was somehow such a failure as a lover that he’d mentally scar someone. And he was not that bad, damn it. But he lifted his mouth from Zhou Mi’s reluctantly, taking in the way he breathed, the lazy opening of his eyes, his wet mouth. Wet and tasty. He sighed.
Then or never.
No surprise on that face when Kyuhyun’s fingers slid, slick, between his legs. Just a tightening around his eyes as Zhou Mi relaxed and let him slide in. He’d been with guys who hadn’t done much, and he’d been with guys who’d done their fair share of screwing around. He actually liked doing it, prepping. Sure, it wasn’t him getting off, but seeing someone getting off on nothing more than a couple of his fingers? That was kind of hot. And if he didn’t traumatize Zhou Mi with that, then he didn’t have that much to worry about. And it wasn’t like his fingers were the most robust things on the face of the planet. He did, and couldn’t help himself, kiss Zhou Mi, when they graduated to more than one finger. Sucking, nibbling, at Zhou Mi’s lip, to the rhythm of his teasing. Doing everything he knew he personally liked, unconsciously answering Zhou Mi’s moans. Startled, as Zhou Mi took possession of the kiss. But it made his fingers quicker, feeding on that desperation, his own body throbbing. He knew the material of the tie around his neck was teasing Zhou Mi's skin. They both knew it, even as he worked with his resolve.
He wasn’t the best interpreter of body language, but he was pretty sure he got that ready from Zhou Mi loud and clear.
He had to remember to breathe as he fiddled with the condom wrapper, taking a few slow deep breaths and trying to watch both Zhou Mi’s face and the fluid curve of Zhou Mi’s erection over his belly that he had a sudden yen for tasting.
Condom, check. Sanity, totally gone.
“Work with me, okay?” he said, feeling like the total opposite of whatever a sex god was.
“Mm,” Zhou Mi murmured, with a roll of his hips. “Want you.”
Well. Those words did make it better. And he couldn’t do much more than breathe against Zhou Mi’s mouth as he fit them together. A little adjustment on Zhou Mi’s part, a little on his. A few shallow strokes, a few delighted curses. Sex was never as good as when he was actually having it, and then it was nothing short of fantastic. That Zhou Mi was tight, went with saying. That Zhou Mi felt like heaven as his body lifted to meet every thrust, kind of an understatement. That he was the single-most, hottest man anywhere on Earth? Well, he was in Kyuhyun’s bed, and moaning into his kiss, with his cock leaking over Kyuhyun’s hand. So there wasn’t any way any of those statements could be false.
Wild and crazy, he didn’t even need to be, because it was Zhou Mi who pushed him on.
“More,” Zhou Mi demanded, arm tight around Kyuhyun, urging him. It made his breath stutter, catching ahold of his pleasure before it rocketed away from him without regard. Having to pant and focus, redoubling his efforts with hips and hand until Zhou Mi was moaning his name, and coming. Body unable to stay still, and Zhou Mi’s hands scraping up his back, and he shuddered, blind and in ecstasy. Every pulse of his body punctuated by a soft moan from Zhou Mi’s mouth.
He groped Zhou Mi’s thigh shamelessly, swallowing the gasp as they pulled free of each other. Tucked in together in really the only way that was possible in the narrow bed.
“I love sex,” Zhou Mi said sort of dreamily.
Kyuhyun might’ve laughed, but he was still remembering how to breathe, and his brain was comfortably fuzzy. It wasn’t like he disagreed. Rhythmically massaging Zhou Mi’s lower back and hoping they’d both just sleep forever. Too satisfied to think about moving ever again, as Zhou Mi's fingers curled in his tie. The cramp in the morning from trying not to accidentally push Zhou Mi off the bed might be worth it. Melting into the kiss Zhou Mi pressed against his mouth with sleepy acceptance.
He felt like he’d been unconscious for about five seconds when he realized Zhou Mi was shaking him.
“I should go,” Zhou Mi said.
He must have looked very confused and put out because the next second Zhou Mi was laughing and petting his hair.
“It’s getting late, and I’ll miss the last trains if I don’t.”
It meant climbing out of bed, which was the bad part. He turned himself with a groan, just in time to catch Zhou Mi before he could roll the scant inches away.
Funny, hadn’t he just been telling himself that he didn’t want Zhou Mi to stay over? And somehow he’d worked himself almost to that position. If it had been any other night, maybe. But as he was, he probably wouldn’t have cared if there’d been a crocodile staying over, too. All he knew was that Zhou Mi was staring back at him, and wondering why he’d been stopped.
And he pressed closer.
***
His nose was solidly against Kyuhyun’s cheek, and his body felt like lead. Everything he’d wanted and dreamed of. Having sex with Kyuhyun, laying next to Kyuhyun. And it was getting late. Late to the point where if he didn’t move soon he’d be unable to use the subway. And Kyuhyun had stopped him, all but snuggled into him. And though he hesitated, he had to at least try.
“Can I stay?” he asked, squeezing Kyuhyun’s side. It was a big step, letting someone stay over. At least, it seemed like it would be to him.
Kyuhyun’s eyes opened, considering him. Maybe it would simply be too much trouble to get up. Maybe if he said okay, it was just the post-coital glow talking. But if anything, Kyuhyun got closer. Sliding his thigh against Zhou Mi’s, and situating a hand curled limply under Zhou Mi’s collar bone.
“Yeah, stay,” Kyuhyun said, voice almost raspy.
He wove his arm over Kyuhyun’s ribs, feeling the rise and fall of them. Kyuhyun utterly relaxed and sated. The smell of sex and sweat, and Kyuhyun, and the bordering on too-heated warmth of the man against him and the blankets. He was glad Kyuhyun had agreed, no matter what reason Kyuhyun might have had. Because it would have been almost impossible to tear himself away.
***
“Hey. Hey, wake up.”
Zhou Mi’s eyes cracked open, seeing Kyuhyun hovering above him.
“Wuh?”
“You said you wanted to wake up early, so?”
He closed his eyes, wishing for once that Kyuhyun didn’t listen so well to him. And then his eyes flew open. He knew there was a reason he wanted to get up early, and it was because they had a day of fun lined up ahead of them.
“Oh! We’re going to the amusement park!”
Kyuhyun laughed. “Is that your big weekend plan? Dragging me on rides?”
“It’ll be fun,” he said, pouting slightly.
“You are crazy. Did you take your girlfriends there?” Even as it left Kyuhyun’s mouth, Zhou Mi could see the regret in him.
“You want to imagine me like this with someone else?” Zhou Mi asked, his voice quiet. But even then, his voice had taken on a desperate note.
“No.”
“Why?”
Kyuhyun was frowning so fiercely that it made his own face hurt. And there was frustration in his words. “I hated to hear about you and that girl.”
His lungs expanded. It was nothing new to him. He’d known it then, but to hear Kyuhyun admit it? “You were jealous? Of me?”
Jealous of him. Kyuhyun. He wanted to kiss Kyuhyun and reassure him for hours.
“You said when you were dating women that there was always something missing.”
“Yeah, there was,” Zhou Mi said.
“But you also told me I didn’t listen like your girlfriend did. So what are you missing now?”
Zhou Mi frowned. “When I said that, I was still in denial about what I wanted. But I think what’s different is inside me. And it’s the sex, sure, and it’s you. You’re a big part of it. But it’s also that I’m accepting who I am, and what I want. So I can be Zhou Mi and not the guy who’s pretending to be him. Maybe being me, I can be what you want and need, like you have been for me.”
“That’s your way of telling me to stop worrying?” Kyuhyun asked.
“Kui Xian. I’m happy with you. Aren’t you?”
“Yeah. I mean, it’s not like you’ve given me any other options.”
His skin shivered, not from Kyuhyun’s deflecting words, but the way Kyuhyun traced his jaw with his thumb. To be wanted in those eyes was no less amazing to him then, than it had been when he finally acknowledged it. If anything, it was more so. Because it mattered so much more. And that realization hitched something in his chest that he couldn’t even grasp.
“I won’t give you any other options either. Even waking up you look amazing,” he said, stroking Kyuhyun’s stomach.
Kyuhyun’s stare was baleful. “You don’t get out much, do you?”
“I have eyes,” Zhou Mi insisted.
“Then you must really want to get some.”
He chuckled, warm against Kyuhyun’s neck. “Maybe in the shower?”
“The shower might not fit us.”
“It’s okay. We’re friendly. We can take a little closeness.”
Kyuhyun snorted, slapping Zhou Mi’s back. “That’s a great reason.”
“You know why I wouldn’t look at any other guys?” He pressed his cheek to Kyuhyun’s. “They don’t know me. And I know you.”
“Do you really?” Kyuhyun asked, sounding amused.
“I do. Just like I know that we’re going to have a ton of fun going on rides today.”
Kyuhyun stroked his sides, humming. “Then I guess we should eat and get to it. Do you scream?”
It was okay. He wouldn’t be offended for long. “You’ll find out.”
***
Zhou Mi guided them to the amusement park nearly with the ease of a man who traveled there daily. Or at least of a man who had ruthlessly organized and planned said trip. They had their tickets, their hand stamps, maps, and a whole day stretching out in front of them.
“If we go this way,” said Zhou Mi the prepared explorer, “we can go along where all the main rides are. And then split off if we want to. What do you think? What do you want to do first?”
There was a roller coaster on the way that was particularly attractive to him. And he considered their other options. “Let’s hit this one, because it’ll probably get crowded later. You like roller coasters?”
“Well enough!” Zhou Mi said.
So they dodged teenagers and families and people selling hats and balloons and snacks, and made their way to the line that was still pretty long even so. And he was still turning the map around trying to figure out where they should go next when he realized Zhou Mi was snapping pictures of him with his cell phone. Whatever expression he had on his face had Zhou Mi doubled over, and then gleefully showing Kyuhyun why he laughed. He’d been glaring rather balefully at the camera, he saw.
“There’s a shining example of character right there,” he said, smirking and mangling the map by trying to get it folded.
“Here,” Zhou Mi said, fussing and grabbing it back from him. And folding it exactly as it had been before. He coughed into his fist, trying to hide the laugh as Zhou Mi thwapped him over the head with the map and stuck it in his man bag. “And here, smile.”
He could see them on the screen of Zhou Mi’s camera, Zhou Mi carefully arranging himself for maximum picture perfection, and he smiled on command as Zhou Mi snapped several shots of their faces together.
“Can’t remember what I look like when you go home?” Kyuhyun joked.
“Hey, I have to have something when you’re away.”
He squinted, trying to figure out if Zhou Mi meant that in a dirty fashion or not. The images it conjured were definitely acceptable. Though he figured they could do better than a few cutesy pics taken in the middle of a family-friendly area. Those were definitely souvenir material.
Zhou Mi was chattering at him from behind about how much he loved these kind of rides, and this one did this and that and upside down. He hadn’t seen Zhou Mi so excited since the last time he’d tried to explain one of the dramas he was watching to Kyuhyun. Still, he climbed onto the ride beside Zhou Mi, and got all safely situated.
“Are you going to scream?” he asked, repeating his earlier question.
“You’ll see!” Zhou Mi replied.
And he did scream. Sort of. If the exclamations of great joy counted. He would’ve laughed in retaliation but his breath was being stolen from him as it was. And he might’ve added a few whoops of his own to joint Zhou Mi’s. And they were probably a few decibels away from boisterous going back down, the rush of the ride way too much for them to contain. The day had been made already, and they’d only been on one ride.
“See, I didn’t scream!” Zhou Mi said, still a little breathless. “That was amazing.”
And they all but tripped over themselves to get to the next line and start to calm themselves down. They had to think of the children after all. Or something. He snickered, and patted down Zhou Mi’s hair where it had started to flip up from the wind. Which led to Zhou Mi using his phone as a mirror. And Kyuhyun couldn’t do much but grin over the next few rides, even if the lines were almost longer than the distance to his job.
His next choice of ride wasn’t anything ridiculous. It wasn’t like he suggested they sky dive off a plane or anything. And in his defense, Zhou Mi actually agreed to go on it. Sort of. The tentative okay had been good enough for him at the time, and he’d only given it a thought once as they stood in line as he twisted the map back and forth to see what they should ride next. That Zhou Mi was answering with sounds instead of words sort of made him think. Sort of.
So Zhou Mi was a little quieter than usual when they approached the ride that offered adrenaline rushes - all while watching the ground come screeching up as they plummeted from great heights. He found it to be a rather nondescript thrill, and certainly not one that he found all that terrifying. He even offered his hand as the ride starting climbing, and Zhou Mi was looking between him and the ground as though Kyuhyun was supposed to leap down and catch him.
“These things do stop, right?”
He laughed, thinking Zhou Mi was joking. “Yeah? You think they throw away bodies after each ride is over?”
“Kui Xian, I don’t-”
It was worse than the floor being dropped out from under them, because they were being propelled. There were shouts from his left unlike any he’d ever heard uttered, pleas for the ride to stop, shrieks of Kyuhyun’s name. All while Kyuhyun’s hand was being squeezed to death. He wasn’t exactly scared, just riding the rush, but he forgot to be scared further from all the yipping going on.
“It’s okay, we’re stopping!” he shouted over the grinding of the gears. And the man who looked over at him was totally in disarray from his hair to his expression. “You’ve never been on a ride like that before?”
“No!” Zhou Mi burst out as they were let out of their safety guards. “And I won’t again.”
“You were nearly peeing yourself in excitement to get on the roller coaster. You liked it more than I did. What happened between then and now?”
“The roller coaster is going some place!” Zhou Mi exclaimed, hands gesturing wildly to prove his point. “And that is just sending you straight into the ground!”
Zhou Mi was all but vibrating with repressed anxiety, and he stared around wondering what he was supposed to do about it. He couldn’t exactly do what his instinct was telling him and give Zhou Mi a hug. A hug itself wouldn’t be all that attention grabbing, but he wasn’t sure if Zhou Mi would actually let him go.
“What’s going to take your mind off it?” he asked, and had a Zhou Mi almost surgically sutured to his arm.
“Let’s look at what they’re selling,” Zhou Mi said.
And that was how he ended up wearing a hat with the logo of the park. It was either that or an animal headband, or some kind of lanyard around his neck. The hat was much less offensive. But he also ended up with a magnet, and a post card set, and a t-shirt. And Zhou Mi had even bargained them into some kind of deal. They went on a few more rides as well, apparently for the sake of Zhou Mi proving his manhood. It wasn’t like Kyuhyun had questioned it. Much. Not that he was going to tell Zhou Mi that.
He stared down at the bag in his hands with the plush toy Zhou Mi had ended up choosing poking out of it, and wondered what exactly he’d really signed up for. Though he could gripe all he wanted, he still sort of stared as Zhou Mi turned around from buying them some kind of ice cream on a stick. That leggy walk, and the smile beneath mile-tall sunglasses. And that man was there with him?
Clearly. And wanting to torture him, too, since the first thing Zhou Mi did was slide his lips around that column of frozen dairy. And then Zhou Mi had the audacity to do his little smug cat-faced smirk at Kyuhyun. Because he knew that Kyuhyun’s mind had immediately went into the gutter. And there was really nothing to do about that, but to fight fire with fire, even if his tongue was suddenly numb and his teeth ached. Zhou Mi having to bite his lip because of it had been well worth it.
Mutual torture, accomplished.
Cups whirling round in circles didn’t seem like they would be his arch enemy. He remembered having been on them before and having no problems. But after they’d thrown away the remnants of the ice cream, and climbed on, he realized he had a problem. And he tried to rectify it by closed eyes, but that didn’t help at all, and he realized the man laughing into his ear had no idea. He reached and gripped Zhou M’s arm, feeling his stomach start to pingpong between his knees and his throat.
Zhou Mi slowed them, and he closed his eyes, trying to breathe in a way that didn’t make himself even more nauseous. Praying for the ride to end so he could get off without disgracing himself.
“You okay?” Zhou Mi asked, as the ride stopped spinning.
He made some kind of guttural sound, not trusting that if his mouth opened that something else might pop out with it.
Zhou Mi by some magical powers found him an unoccupied bench to collapse onto, and he didn’t even know where Zhou Mi went, just knowing he was alone. He stared at some distant tree, hoping that it was actually slightly moving and that wasn’t his eyes playing tricks. Something cold was pressed against his hand, and he looked, a little too quickly at first, and staring at the frozen drink that Zhou Mi trying to give him. He’d have tried to kiss the man if he hadn’t been too busy downing part of the drinking, laying back his head and breathing. It took ten minutes of that to really feel good enough to lean forward, breathing and resting his arms on his legs, removing his cap to let his head breathe. Zhou Mi rubbed his back, soothing circles, even petting through his sweaty hair.
“Is that fun for you?” he asked, as Zhou Mi’s hand kept moving.
“Well,” Zhou Mi said, before pausing. “Well. When your hair is like this it’s like just after we-”
His eyes popped open, his shoelaces beckoning way beneath his nose, and he actually laughed. He’d nearly been sick to his stomach, and Zhou Mi was musing about his sweaty hair after sex. He sat back up cautiously, sipping more of the cool liquid.
“Thanks, I needed that laugh. Even though I know you weren’t joking.”
And he knew why Zhou Mi had said it. He’d gotten his fingers in Zhou Mi’s hair himself. But moving things didn’t make him ill any more, and his stomach wasn’t flopping around. They walked around a while instead of going on any more adventurous rides. He’d only had to veto a balloon as they wandered through the vendors, ducking through little places there were to see, cool buildings to wander through. He actually felt human again after an hour of that.
“Oh, Kui Xian!” Zhou Mi stopped, coming up behind him and pointing over his shoulder with all the hope of a five year old spotting a pony ride. He stared up the ferris wheel.
“Oh, that’s the one you don’t want to go on, huh?”
“Kui Xian. But… Will it upset your stomach?”
“I guess we’ll see. Hey, we have a bag just in case.”
Zhou Mi sent a worried glance at the bag with all the things they’d bought in it. “Maybe we shouldn’t.”
“I’ll be fine, I’m joking. Come on.”
They stuck the rest of the snack Zhou Mi had bought in the bag that Kyuhyun was still carrying, and waited for their turn on the gigantic wheel. It was quiet enough that they were ushered into their own car, and Zhou Mi immediately leaned against him as they started climbing into the air.
“I really like these, but I don’t like heights that much. It’s so pretty, seeing everything.”
“Mm,” he agreed.
“It’s been a perfect day,” Zhou Mi sighed.
He glanced at the happily gawking man. “Yeah, maybe if you don’t count my stomach, or the part where you were pleading for your life.”
“Promise me you’ll forget that?”
The laugh felt good, grinning at Zhou Mi. “Never.”
“I love dates like this,” Zhou Mi said, dropping his arm around Kyuhyun’s shoulders, and nuzzling him discreetly. “Just enjoying being together, and no expectations.”
“Have you had a lot of those?” Hey I’m going to the park with Zhou Mi on a date! The seizing in his stomach wasn’t the kind that made him want to squirm away, it was more full of musing. He’d been too comfortable getting comfortable with the fact that Zhou Mi honestly wasn’t heading out the door to even ponder things like dates, and they’d gotten there and past it somehow anyway.
“Not as many until you,” Zhou Mi said, startling him out of the reverie that had begun to move his face into a cheek-aching grin.
He composed himself, as much as he could. Still feeling the tug at the corners of his mouth as he leaned his head closer to Zhou Mi’s. “I guess we’re doing something right, then.”
“A lot of right things.”
And they had a shuffling kicking battle to alleviate the heavy admissions. He didn’t spend much, or really hardly any time, worrying about their “future” At least, not as much as he had. Some of the things Zhou Mi had said to him, some of the things he’d done, quieted all the little questions. Bigger ones, like how well they got along, sort of answered themselves. The only fights they’d really had, had been about their relationship. And some of that had been misunderstanding, and insecurity on his part.
“Kui Xian,” Zhou Mi murmured, and kissed his neck.
It sent a chill right through him, and then he remembered they were still on the ride and slapped the thigh closest to him.
“You’ll get us arrested for public indecency. Who tops when you’re making it up to me when we get back?”
Zhou Mi’s eyes roamed his face. “That’s up to you.”
Hmm. Then he had a few ideas, and- The kiss they’d been going for had been brought up short by the brim of Kyuhyun’s souvenir cap. And all for the better, as they waited the ride came to an end. Zhou Mi climbed off behind him and they walked down the ramps together.
“I figure we have to switch a while, see which I like best. Best of both worlds, right?” Kyuhyun suggested.
Zhou Mi just laughed and kept a hand on his shoulder. And he got an eyeful of that profile. He had no idea how long Zhou Mi would be satisfied with him. But he at least had reached the conclusion that it was not impossible that Zhou Mi was happy. Even if there were a lot of unknowns. Like whose apartment they were going to, and who was going to take the lead. Shower after their day, or shower after sex?
Zhou Mi had promised him it’d be a good day, and it had been. And questions like those weren’t sad to ponder in the least.
***
Sex and a shower had turned into making out in the shower. And Zhou Mi leaving because he had plans not involving Kyuhyun the next day. He found he didn’t mind so much, being able to wind down from the day, sleep in his own bed without worry he was going to knock Zhou Mi onto the floor. Either they were going to have to migrate to Zhou Mi’s apartment if they had sleepovers, or he was going to have to suck it up and get another bed. It wasn’t exactly a sacrifice after all. He wondered what Zhou Mi would have to say about that. And realized he very much looked forward to finding out.
***
Their next actual “date” happened on a Wednesday. He knew that because Ryeowook had inquired about who was planning these outings that Kyuhyun both admitted he liked and dutifully complained about. And then, there was the stare, which was uncomfortable. Somewhere in Zhou Mi’s repertoire of expressions, there was probably one of those stares that made him want to crawl under a table. But Ryeowook had gotten in on that train way early. Kyuhyun was assured he didn’t need some higher degree to be able to plan a date, and he would only get himself on Zhou Mi’s good side by being a man and taking initiative. Good side meant more sex, or something. Not that they were lacking in that as yet.
Still, when he’d detoured into Zhou Mi’s cubicle, and leaned in to ask if he wanted to go out for dinner the next day, he’d gotten a Zhou Mi -type stare. The little greeting smile fading and blooming into one that curved in a totally different way, lips, eyes, hairline even.
“Yes,” Zhou Mi said, laughing.
He shushed Zhou Mi silently, and went back to his own seat feeling a little puffed up about it.
So maybe Ryeowook had been right, a little. Dinner had been good. But sprawling half-naked beside the couch afterward had definitely been a highlight.
Tangling their fingers together, propped back on the couch. Talking about nothing. Anything. Zhou Mi pondering getting his nails done, and him teasing.
He almost brought up the idea of the bed. On the tip of his tongue, but Zhou Mi had started laughing at something on the television, and he’d let it go. Another day to ask what kind of mattress Zhou Mi preferred. That night, all he did was use Zhou Mi’s lap as a footrest, and throw crackers at his head. And that was pretty good, too.
***
Zhou Mi being late for work had happened once, during an unavoidable subway traffic snarl-up. He’d also been absent a day, for having a stomach bug. None of them needed a man who had sort of gleefully, if croakily, told Kyuhyun about the misfortunes he’d suffered during the day.
Kyuhyun made note of Zhou Mi’s lateness, but got himself organized anyway. He had three meetings, and a report to turn in. And some kind of slide show to compile, which definitely wasn’t his strong suit. He looked up and realized half an hour had gone by, and there had been no familiar steps behind him. He even swiveled in his chair to make sure Zhou Mi’s chair was empty. When his call got no answer, he texted. Not that he figured a text would get a response if Zhou Mi wasn’t around his phone, but at least it was out there. Even if it was a concise you’re late, what’s up?
He put the unease on the back burner to simmer, and kept working. Answering a call from a coworker, and keeping his head down. Until his cell phone rang. He snatched it so fast, he almost dropped it.
“This is Kyuhyun,” he said, answering quickly.
“Kui Xian.”
Zhou Mi’s voice on the line sounded hoarse, and strange. And considering he’d been wondering for the last half hour why Zhou Mi hadn’t been answering his phone or showing up at work, his mind immediately raced ahead.
“What’s up? Are you sick?”
“No. I called into work already, but I’m actually on the way to the airport. My father had a seizure and fell and hurt himself early this morning, and I don’t know what’s wrong with him. So I have to go.”
The jolt in his stomach took him by surprise, leaning into his desk to breathe.
“Okay. But he’s okay? He’s not…?” Dying? His eyes squeezed shut.
“My mother needs me there while they figure out what is wrong. I don’t know how serious it is. I’ll be touch, though. Kui Xian.”
“Have-Have safe flight, and I hope he’s okay?”
Awkward. Awkward wanting to laugh when it was the last thing he felt like doing, and then Zhou Mi was thanking him and hanging up. He didn’t even have the thought to stop himself from looking back toward Zhou Mi’s cubicle. Empty and silent. And his mind went a thousand ways. What If Zhou Mi’s father were really ill, and what if Zhou Mi had to stay, had to quit his job. Holding down a long-distance relationship? They’d gotten too used to being almost within arms reach. He did his best to focus on his work after that, but he was pretty sure his concentration had gotten on the plane with Zhou Mi.
***
Author: Coley Merrin
Pairing: Kyuhyun/Zhou Mi (either/or)
Rating: NC-17
Genre: AU
Summary: Kyuhyun's new coworker brings new challenges to his stuffy cubicle life. And the only problem bigger than realizing that Zhou Mi is living denial, is actually starting to believe him.
***
Chapter One * Chapter Two * Chapter Three * Chapter Four * Chapter Five * Chapter Six * Chapter Seven * Chapter Eight * Chapter Nine * Chapter Ten
***
It was typical for them. Eating, getting a few drinks. Squeezing into a subway car and laughing about anything, really. Or that day in silence, arms lightly together, hanging on tight so they didn’t squash people. It was comfortable. Making a random comment on the station they were at, or some memory, but lapsing into quiet. Letting his neck roll back as they stopped, hip bumping Zhou Mi’s. He didn’t really have a doubt about what he wanted, or what they were aiming for. Grinding together, sucking each other off. It was nice. But he’d been the one in the store pouring over condoms and lube, making sure he had everything they needed in the instance they actually got to it. Wearing Zhou Mi’s favorite tie of his hadn’t exactly been meant as an invitation to get it on, but if that was where they were going, he was on that train.
“So, you’re still free tomorrow, right?” Zhou Mi asked as he unlocked his door.
“Yes?” He vaguely remembered Zhou Mi confirming that fact with him the day before, or the day before that, or whatever. It wasn’t like his weekends were full to the brim, and he assumed Zhou Mi wasn’t asking to check and see if he was washing his clothes or something. Part of his head was grumpy for his free time, but he was curious as to why Zhou Mi seemed to be plotting days in advance.
“Good. We might have to go a little early tomorrow, but it’ll be worth it. I swear.”
He stared as they got their shoes off. “So what exactly are you planning? Are we going international, meeting royalty?”
Zhou Mi laughed, setting down his bag. “No. But I don’t want to tell you yet. It’s a surprise!”
“Am I going to like it?”
“I hope so.”
“Well, take your worry away and just tell me,” he prodded, eyeballing Zhou Mi as he started to edge away.
“Make me.”
The singsonging words and the man darting back into his apartment all but begged him to give chase.
“I’m sorry, did you leave something in my bedroom last time?” he joked, following Zhou Mi into the bedroom. He’d sort of cleaned that morning, so the bed wasn’t a total mess. But he wasn’t really focused on the bed, as he propped his suit jacket over the chair back. “Come on, tell me what you want to do tomorrow.”
“No,” Zhou Mi said, tossing his shirt onto the chair as well. It gave Kyuhyun the opportunity to get his hand on him, running up the sides of Zhou Mi’s fitted undershirt. “You can’t make me.”
He could damn well try, fingers darting under Zhou Mi’s arms to tickle, and getting an armful of laughing, squirming man who still wouldn’t tell him. And when that faded, Zhou Mi gripping his hips and kissing him effectively distracted him from his goal.
“It’s a surprise for you,” Zhou Mi murmured against his mouth.
“Better be awesome then,” he muttered.
“It will be. And I was right,” Zhou Mi said, fussing with Kyuhyun’s shirt collar. He’d left the tie hanging. Sue him. “This looks amazing on you.”
Letting Zhou Mi do as he wanted was no trial, standing still and letting Zhou Mi unbutton his shirt. Watching Zhou Mi’s face wasn’t a problem either. The material of the tie felt a little funny as Zhou Mi kept it draped it against his neck, carefully looping, tucking. Tying it again for him. He laughed, staring down at his chest.
“Is this a new fashion statement?” he asked.
“Looks good on you even without the shirt,” Zhou Mi told him, and kissed his shoulder.
Somehow it was a little harder than he thought, but he managed, cupping that jaw and getting Zhou Mi’s face against his. Tasting each ridge of that mouth, the texture of his lips. Demanding, no, inviting Zhou Mi in. Moaning as Zhou Mi squeezed his ass with both hands. His skin against Zhou Mi’s undershirt, his knees rubbing against Zhou Mi’s, hips one sinuous rocking motion after another.
“You have condoms?” Zhou Mi asked hoarsely between kisses.
“Uh. Yes.”
And he was gratified again that not only was Zhou Mi on the same page as him, but that he wanted just the same. He wasn’t sure whether he should be scared witless or excited beyond belief.
The heat that pooled in his groin indicated which.
He pulled Zhou Mi with him, both of Zhou Mi’s hands on his back, urging him. And stripping, to Kyuhyun’s chagrin, as Kyuhyun rummaged for supplies. He wasn’t even sure where to look when he turned around. Zhou Mi’s thighs? Shoulders? Stomach? Face? He sucked in his lower lip in appreciation when it became clear that Zhou Mi was at the very least as eager as he was. Though he laughed inside at the pretty blue briefs. He hadn’t exactly paid attention earlier. But Zhou Mi surely had known why he’d been coming over, so maybe he’d worn them with Kyuhyun in mind. There wasn’t any way he was putting that past Zhou Mi.
He didn’t think he’d call the man stepping out of them pretty, but that didn’t mean Kyuhyun wanted him less. He wasn’t even sure how many condoms he flung at the bed, pausing just long enough to see that they and the lube container made it safely.
He didn’t think he’d ever been that keyed up for sex, that he trembled to undo the last of his clothes. Fingers slipping on his pants button, and all but wrenching down the zipper. Zhou Mi helped with that, and he kissed the center of Zhou Mi’s chest, ridding himself of his pants. He wanted Zhou Mi in the bed, and quick.
He regretted not investing in a larger bed, knowing they could barely lay on it shoulder to shoulder. But it didn’t matter. They weren’t going to be beside each other. Someone was going to be on top. And he had a suspicion that was going to be Zhou Mi. Given the option as a man used to thinking of being on top by default, he had no illusions about what to expect. The prospect wasn’t a bad one, and he was turned on enough to want anything anyway. And if it was Zhou Mi’s cock inside him, then he was signing up for it without delay. He was coming either way, after all.
All limbs had made it on the bed when he realized he still had on the tie. But even then, Zhou Mi with a thigh hot against his, stopped him.
“Leave it, please?”
“Who’s going to clean that if we get it dirty?”
Zhou Mi laughed. “I will, Kui Xian. Don’t worry. I like it too much on you.”
“You’re hogging the bed, scoot over.”
Zhou Mi shook his head. “I like it where I am.”
Where he was, which was taking up most of the middle of the bed.
On his back.
He was pretty sure his brain had taken a left turn or got lost while he went from upright to laying down. Zhou Mi wanted to stay on his back? His body was leaping ahead on what that meant for it.
Skin was fucking amazing, he summarized. His skin, Zhou Mi’s skin, everyone’s skin. That mouth was dark from their kisses, and the skin of Zhou Mi’s chest shuddered where he stroked it. And when their legs slid together, it took only a slight tilt of hips to lay his erection against Zhou Mi’s. Displacing Zhou Mi’s hand where he had been stroking himself. And smiling as Zhou Mi’s fingers grazed him. He inhaled against Zhou Mi’s throat, and nearly planted an elbow on the lube.
“You’re sure about this?” he asked, bumping his hips down into Zhou Mi’s. If they were going to have sex, and Zhou Mi wanted to be under him? He wanted to be pretty sure.
“If you are,” Zhou Mi said, tracing Kyuhyun’s throat.
Another experiment, his mind whispered. Wants to see if he likes getting fucked instead of just fucking.
He didn’t care why Zhou Mi wanted it, or why Zhou Mi was spreading his legs for him, or anything of the three hundred other questions. He just knew that the only thing between him and spilling into a condom was actually getting inside that body. And if Zhou Mi didn’t freak out before that, then there was no stopping him.
But no, he fucking did care.
“Have you done it like this before?” he asked, hand grasping at Zhou Mi’s.
“No,” Zhou Mi said, and confirmed his hunch. “This is… This is the only thing I haven’t done, the only way I haven’t done it. And I don’t want this to be over too soon, too. Even if it’s something I want to try, I want it to be with you. If that’s what you want.”
His brain was on hold, staring at Zhou Mi. Okay, and that wasn’t the answer he was expecting at all. Trust? Desire? That Zhou Mi trusted him enough, wanted him enough. Sex in the end was sex, but this was something bigger.
“But if you’d rather, I’d-”
“No,” Kyuhyun insisted. And insisted even more than that, pressing Zhou Mi back into the pillow and kissing him until the protest left him. No he didn’t rather that Zhou Mi do anything. And the more he thought about it, the more the idea appealed. Kind of like a gift. One with big brown eyes that considered him with some wariness. “No, I want it.”
Not remembering how long it had been since the last time he’d be in someone wasn’t exactly like not knowing how long ago his birthday was. And his analysis wasn’t so much on himself, though he wasn’t going to make Zhou Mi stop stroking his cock for anything. But the realization as he squeezed lube onto his hand, that he could potentially turn Zhou Mi off guys forever? Okay, that was too dramatic. But at least turn him off from the position they were going to be in. That was kind of a big one. And the way Zhou Mi had offered, if he had protested Zhou Mi would’ve fucked him instead. But his pride interjected. Getting cold feet then was like telling himself he couldn’t do a good job, that he was somehow such a failure as a lover that he’d mentally scar someone. And he was not that bad, damn it. But he lifted his mouth from Zhou Mi’s reluctantly, taking in the way he breathed, the lazy opening of his eyes, his wet mouth. Wet and tasty. He sighed.
Then or never.
No surprise on that face when Kyuhyun’s fingers slid, slick, between his legs. Just a tightening around his eyes as Zhou Mi relaxed and let him slide in. He’d been with guys who hadn’t done much, and he’d been with guys who’d done their fair share of screwing around. He actually liked doing it, prepping. Sure, it wasn’t him getting off, but seeing someone getting off on nothing more than a couple of his fingers? That was kind of hot. And if he didn’t traumatize Zhou Mi with that, then he didn’t have that much to worry about. And it wasn’t like his fingers were the most robust things on the face of the planet. He did, and couldn’t help himself, kiss Zhou Mi, when they graduated to more than one finger. Sucking, nibbling, at Zhou Mi’s lip, to the rhythm of his teasing. Doing everything he knew he personally liked, unconsciously answering Zhou Mi’s moans. Startled, as Zhou Mi took possession of the kiss. But it made his fingers quicker, feeding on that desperation, his own body throbbing. He knew the material of the tie around his neck was teasing Zhou Mi's skin. They both knew it, even as he worked with his resolve.
He wasn’t the best interpreter of body language, but he was pretty sure he got that ready from Zhou Mi loud and clear.
He had to remember to breathe as he fiddled with the condom wrapper, taking a few slow deep breaths and trying to watch both Zhou Mi’s face and the fluid curve of Zhou Mi’s erection over his belly that he had a sudden yen for tasting.
Condom, check. Sanity, totally gone.
“Work with me, okay?” he said, feeling like the total opposite of whatever a sex god was.
“Mm,” Zhou Mi murmured, with a roll of his hips. “Want you.”
Well. Those words did make it better. And he couldn’t do much more than breathe against Zhou Mi’s mouth as he fit them together. A little adjustment on Zhou Mi’s part, a little on his. A few shallow strokes, a few delighted curses. Sex was never as good as when he was actually having it, and then it was nothing short of fantastic. That Zhou Mi was tight, went with saying. That Zhou Mi felt like heaven as his body lifted to meet every thrust, kind of an understatement. That he was the single-most, hottest man anywhere on Earth? Well, he was in Kyuhyun’s bed, and moaning into his kiss, with his cock leaking over Kyuhyun’s hand. So there wasn’t any way any of those statements could be false.
Wild and crazy, he didn’t even need to be, because it was Zhou Mi who pushed him on.
“More,” Zhou Mi demanded, arm tight around Kyuhyun, urging him. It made his breath stutter, catching ahold of his pleasure before it rocketed away from him without regard. Having to pant and focus, redoubling his efforts with hips and hand until Zhou Mi was moaning his name, and coming. Body unable to stay still, and Zhou Mi’s hands scraping up his back, and he shuddered, blind and in ecstasy. Every pulse of his body punctuated by a soft moan from Zhou Mi’s mouth.
He groped Zhou Mi’s thigh shamelessly, swallowing the gasp as they pulled free of each other. Tucked in together in really the only way that was possible in the narrow bed.
“I love sex,” Zhou Mi said sort of dreamily.
Kyuhyun might’ve laughed, but he was still remembering how to breathe, and his brain was comfortably fuzzy. It wasn’t like he disagreed. Rhythmically massaging Zhou Mi’s lower back and hoping they’d both just sleep forever. Too satisfied to think about moving ever again, as Zhou Mi's fingers curled in his tie. The cramp in the morning from trying not to accidentally push Zhou Mi off the bed might be worth it. Melting into the kiss Zhou Mi pressed against his mouth with sleepy acceptance.
He felt like he’d been unconscious for about five seconds when he realized Zhou Mi was shaking him.
“I should go,” Zhou Mi said.
He must have looked very confused and put out because the next second Zhou Mi was laughing and petting his hair.
“It’s getting late, and I’ll miss the last trains if I don’t.”
It meant climbing out of bed, which was the bad part. He turned himself with a groan, just in time to catch Zhou Mi before he could roll the scant inches away.
Funny, hadn’t he just been telling himself that he didn’t want Zhou Mi to stay over? And somehow he’d worked himself almost to that position. If it had been any other night, maybe. But as he was, he probably wouldn’t have cared if there’d been a crocodile staying over, too. All he knew was that Zhou Mi was staring back at him, and wondering why he’d been stopped.
And he pressed closer.
***
His nose was solidly against Kyuhyun’s cheek, and his body felt like lead. Everything he’d wanted and dreamed of. Having sex with Kyuhyun, laying next to Kyuhyun. And it was getting late. Late to the point where if he didn’t move soon he’d be unable to use the subway. And Kyuhyun had stopped him, all but snuggled into him. And though he hesitated, he had to at least try.
“Can I stay?” he asked, squeezing Kyuhyun’s side. It was a big step, letting someone stay over. At least, it seemed like it would be to him.
Kyuhyun’s eyes opened, considering him. Maybe it would simply be too much trouble to get up. Maybe if he said okay, it was just the post-coital glow talking. But if anything, Kyuhyun got closer. Sliding his thigh against Zhou Mi’s, and situating a hand curled limply under Zhou Mi’s collar bone.
“Yeah, stay,” Kyuhyun said, voice almost raspy.
He wove his arm over Kyuhyun’s ribs, feeling the rise and fall of them. Kyuhyun utterly relaxed and sated. The smell of sex and sweat, and Kyuhyun, and the bordering on too-heated warmth of the man against him and the blankets. He was glad Kyuhyun had agreed, no matter what reason Kyuhyun might have had. Because it would have been almost impossible to tear himself away.
***
“Hey. Hey, wake up.”
Zhou Mi’s eyes cracked open, seeing Kyuhyun hovering above him.
“Wuh?”
“You said you wanted to wake up early, so?”
He closed his eyes, wishing for once that Kyuhyun didn’t listen so well to him. And then his eyes flew open. He knew there was a reason he wanted to get up early, and it was because they had a day of fun lined up ahead of them.
“Oh! We’re going to the amusement park!”
Kyuhyun laughed. “Is that your big weekend plan? Dragging me on rides?”
“It’ll be fun,” he said, pouting slightly.
“You are crazy. Did you take your girlfriends there?” Even as it left Kyuhyun’s mouth, Zhou Mi could see the regret in him.
“You want to imagine me like this with someone else?” Zhou Mi asked, his voice quiet. But even then, his voice had taken on a desperate note.
“No.”
“Why?”
Kyuhyun was frowning so fiercely that it made his own face hurt. And there was frustration in his words. “I hated to hear about you and that girl.”
His lungs expanded. It was nothing new to him. He’d known it then, but to hear Kyuhyun admit it? “You were jealous? Of me?”
Jealous of him. Kyuhyun. He wanted to kiss Kyuhyun and reassure him for hours.
“You said when you were dating women that there was always something missing.”
“Yeah, there was,” Zhou Mi said.
“But you also told me I didn’t listen like your girlfriend did. So what are you missing now?”
Zhou Mi frowned. “When I said that, I was still in denial about what I wanted. But I think what’s different is inside me. And it’s the sex, sure, and it’s you. You’re a big part of it. But it’s also that I’m accepting who I am, and what I want. So I can be Zhou Mi and not the guy who’s pretending to be him. Maybe being me, I can be what you want and need, like you have been for me.”
“That’s your way of telling me to stop worrying?” Kyuhyun asked.
“Kui Xian. I’m happy with you. Aren’t you?”
“Yeah. I mean, it’s not like you’ve given me any other options.”
His skin shivered, not from Kyuhyun’s deflecting words, but the way Kyuhyun traced his jaw with his thumb. To be wanted in those eyes was no less amazing to him then, than it had been when he finally acknowledged it. If anything, it was more so. Because it mattered so much more. And that realization hitched something in his chest that he couldn’t even grasp.
“I won’t give you any other options either. Even waking up you look amazing,” he said, stroking Kyuhyun’s stomach.
Kyuhyun’s stare was baleful. “You don’t get out much, do you?”
“I have eyes,” Zhou Mi insisted.
“Then you must really want to get some.”
He chuckled, warm against Kyuhyun’s neck. “Maybe in the shower?”
“The shower might not fit us.”
“It’s okay. We’re friendly. We can take a little closeness.”
Kyuhyun snorted, slapping Zhou Mi’s back. “That’s a great reason.”
“You know why I wouldn’t look at any other guys?” He pressed his cheek to Kyuhyun’s. “They don’t know me. And I know you.”
“Do you really?” Kyuhyun asked, sounding amused.
“I do. Just like I know that we’re going to have a ton of fun going on rides today.”
Kyuhyun stroked his sides, humming. “Then I guess we should eat and get to it. Do you scream?”
It was okay. He wouldn’t be offended for long. “You’ll find out.”
***
Zhou Mi guided them to the amusement park nearly with the ease of a man who traveled there daily. Or at least of a man who had ruthlessly organized and planned said trip. They had their tickets, their hand stamps, maps, and a whole day stretching out in front of them.
“If we go this way,” said Zhou Mi the prepared explorer, “we can go along where all the main rides are. And then split off if we want to. What do you think? What do you want to do first?”
There was a roller coaster on the way that was particularly attractive to him. And he considered their other options. “Let’s hit this one, because it’ll probably get crowded later. You like roller coasters?”
“Well enough!” Zhou Mi said.
So they dodged teenagers and families and people selling hats and balloons and snacks, and made their way to the line that was still pretty long even so. And he was still turning the map around trying to figure out where they should go next when he realized Zhou Mi was snapping pictures of him with his cell phone. Whatever expression he had on his face had Zhou Mi doubled over, and then gleefully showing Kyuhyun why he laughed. He’d been glaring rather balefully at the camera, he saw.
“There’s a shining example of character right there,” he said, smirking and mangling the map by trying to get it folded.
“Here,” Zhou Mi said, fussing and grabbing it back from him. And folding it exactly as it had been before. He coughed into his fist, trying to hide the laugh as Zhou Mi thwapped him over the head with the map and stuck it in his man bag. “And here, smile.”
He could see them on the screen of Zhou Mi’s camera, Zhou Mi carefully arranging himself for maximum picture perfection, and he smiled on command as Zhou Mi snapped several shots of their faces together.
“Can’t remember what I look like when you go home?” Kyuhyun joked.
“Hey, I have to have something when you’re away.”
He squinted, trying to figure out if Zhou Mi meant that in a dirty fashion or not. The images it conjured were definitely acceptable. Though he figured they could do better than a few cutesy pics taken in the middle of a family-friendly area. Those were definitely souvenir material.
Zhou Mi was chattering at him from behind about how much he loved these kind of rides, and this one did this and that and upside down. He hadn’t seen Zhou Mi so excited since the last time he’d tried to explain one of the dramas he was watching to Kyuhyun. Still, he climbed onto the ride beside Zhou Mi, and got all safely situated.
“Are you going to scream?” he asked, repeating his earlier question.
“You’ll see!” Zhou Mi replied.
And he did scream. Sort of. If the exclamations of great joy counted. He would’ve laughed in retaliation but his breath was being stolen from him as it was. And he might’ve added a few whoops of his own to joint Zhou Mi’s. And they were probably a few decibels away from boisterous going back down, the rush of the ride way too much for them to contain. The day had been made already, and they’d only been on one ride.
“See, I didn’t scream!” Zhou Mi said, still a little breathless. “That was amazing.”
And they all but tripped over themselves to get to the next line and start to calm themselves down. They had to think of the children after all. Or something. He snickered, and patted down Zhou Mi’s hair where it had started to flip up from the wind. Which led to Zhou Mi using his phone as a mirror. And Kyuhyun couldn’t do much but grin over the next few rides, even if the lines were almost longer than the distance to his job.
His next choice of ride wasn’t anything ridiculous. It wasn’t like he suggested they sky dive off a plane or anything. And in his defense, Zhou Mi actually agreed to go on it. Sort of. The tentative okay had been good enough for him at the time, and he’d only given it a thought once as they stood in line as he twisted the map back and forth to see what they should ride next. That Zhou Mi was answering with sounds instead of words sort of made him think. Sort of.
So Zhou Mi was a little quieter than usual when they approached the ride that offered adrenaline rushes - all while watching the ground come screeching up as they plummeted from great heights. He found it to be a rather nondescript thrill, and certainly not one that he found all that terrifying. He even offered his hand as the ride starting climbing, and Zhou Mi was looking between him and the ground as though Kyuhyun was supposed to leap down and catch him.
“These things do stop, right?”
He laughed, thinking Zhou Mi was joking. “Yeah? You think they throw away bodies after each ride is over?”
“Kui Xian, I don’t-”
It was worse than the floor being dropped out from under them, because they were being propelled. There were shouts from his left unlike any he’d ever heard uttered, pleas for the ride to stop, shrieks of Kyuhyun’s name. All while Kyuhyun’s hand was being squeezed to death. He wasn’t exactly scared, just riding the rush, but he forgot to be scared further from all the yipping going on.
“It’s okay, we’re stopping!” he shouted over the grinding of the gears. And the man who looked over at him was totally in disarray from his hair to his expression. “You’ve never been on a ride like that before?”
“No!” Zhou Mi burst out as they were let out of their safety guards. “And I won’t again.”
“You were nearly peeing yourself in excitement to get on the roller coaster. You liked it more than I did. What happened between then and now?”
“The roller coaster is going some place!” Zhou Mi exclaimed, hands gesturing wildly to prove his point. “And that is just sending you straight into the ground!”
Zhou Mi was all but vibrating with repressed anxiety, and he stared around wondering what he was supposed to do about it. He couldn’t exactly do what his instinct was telling him and give Zhou Mi a hug. A hug itself wouldn’t be all that attention grabbing, but he wasn’t sure if Zhou Mi would actually let him go.
“What’s going to take your mind off it?” he asked, and had a Zhou Mi almost surgically sutured to his arm.
“Let’s look at what they’re selling,” Zhou Mi said.
And that was how he ended up wearing a hat with the logo of the park. It was either that or an animal headband, or some kind of lanyard around his neck. The hat was much less offensive. But he also ended up with a magnet, and a post card set, and a t-shirt. And Zhou Mi had even bargained them into some kind of deal. They went on a few more rides as well, apparently for the sake of Zhou Mi proving his manhood. It wasn’t like Kyuhyun had questioned it. Much. Not that he was going to tell Zhou Mi that.
He stared down at the bag in his hands with the plush toy Zhou Mi had ended up choosing poking out of it, and wondered what exactly he’d really signed up for. Though he could gripe all he wanted, he still sort of stared as Zhou Mi turned around from buying them some kind of ice cream on a stick. That leggy walk, and the smile beneath mile-tall sunglasses. And that man was there with him?
Clearly. And wanting to torture him, too, since the first thing Zhou Mi did was slide his lips around that column of frozen dairy. And then Zhou Mi had the audacity to do his little smug cat-faced smirk at Kyuhyun. Because he knew that Kyuhyun’s mind had immediately went into the gutter. And there was really nothing to do about that, but to fight fire with fire, even if his tongue was suddenly numb and his teeth ached. Zhou Mi having to bite his lip because of it had been well worth it.
Mutual torture, accomplished.
Cups whirling round in circles didn’t seem like they would be his arch enemy. He remembered having been on them before and having no problems. But after they’d thrown away the remnants of the ice cream, and climbed on, he realized he had a problem. And he tried to rectify it by closed eyes, but that didn’t help at all, and he realized the man laughing into his ear had no idea. He reached and gripped Zhou M’s arm, feeling his stomach start to pingpong between his knees and his throat.
Zhou Mi slowed them, and he closed his eyes, trying to breathe in a way that didn’t make himself even more nauseous. Praying for the ride to end so he could get off without disgracing himself.
“You okay?” Zhou Mi asked, as the ride stopped spinning.
He made some kind of guttural sound, not trusting that if his mouth opened that something else might pop out with it.
Zhou Mi by some magical powers found him an unoccupied bench to collapse onto, and he didn’t even know where Zhou Mi went, just knowing he was alone. He stared at some distant tree, hoping that it was actually slightly moving and that wasn’t his eyes playing tricks. Something cold was pressed against his hand, and he looked, a little too quickly at first, and staring at the frozen drink that Zhou Mi trying to give him. He’d have tried to kiss the man if he hadn’t been too busy downing part of the drinking, laying back his head and breathing. It took ten minutes of that to really feel good enough to lean forward, breathing and resting his arms on his legs, removing his cap to let his head breathe. Zhou Mi rubbed his back, soothing circles, even petting through his sweaty hair.
“Is that fun for you?” he asked, as Zhou Mi’s hand kept moving.
“Well,” Zhou Mi said, before pausing. “Well. When your hair is like this it’s like just after we-”
His eyes popped open, his shoelaces beckoning way beneath his nose, and he actually laughed. He’d nearly been sick to his stomach, and Zhou Mi was musing about his sweaty hair after sex. He sat back up cautiously, sipping more of the cool liquid.
“Thanks, I needed that laugh. Even though I know you weren’t joking.”
And he knew why Zhou Mi had said it. He’d gotten his fingers in Zhou Mi’s hair himself. But moving things didn’t make him ill any more, and his stomach wasn’t flopping around. They walked around a while instead of going on any more adventurous rides. He’d only had to veto a balloon as they wandered through the vendors, ducking through little places there were to see, cool buildings to wander through. He actually felt human again after an hour of that.
“Oh, Kui Xian!” Zhou Mi stopped, coming up behind him and pointing over his shoulder with all the hope of a five year old spotting a pony ride. He stared up the ferris wheel.
“Oh, that’s the one you don’t want to go on, huh?”
“Kui Xian. But… Will it upset your stomach?”
“I guess we’ll see. Hey, we have a bag just in case.”
Zhou Mi sent a worried glance at the bag with all the things they’d bought in it. “Maybe we shouldn’t.”
“I’ll be fine, I’m joking. Come on.”
They stuck the rest of the snack Zhou Mi had bought in the bag that Kyuhyun was still carrying, and waited for their turn on the gigantic wheel. It was quiet enough that they were ushered into their own car, and Zhou Mi immediately leaned against him as they started climbing into the air.
“I really like these, but I don’t like heights that much. It’s so pretty, seeing everything.”
“Mm,” he agreed.
“It’s been a perfect day,” Zhou Mi sighed.
He glanced at the happily gawking man. “Yeah, maybe if you don’t count my stomach, or the part where you were pleading for your life.”
“Promise me you’ll forget that?”
The laugh felt good, grinning at Zhou Mi. “Never.”
“I love dates like this,” Zhou Mi said, dropping his arm around Kyuhyun’s shoulders, and nuzzling him discreetly. “Just enjoying being together, and no expectations.”
“Have you had a lot of those?” Hey I’m going to the park with Zhou Mi on a date! The seizing in his stomach wasn’t the kind that made him want to squirm away, it was more full of musing. He’d been too comfortable getting comfortable with the fact that Zhou Mi honestly wasn’t heading out the door to even ponder things like dates, and they’d gotten there and past it somehow anyway.
“Not as many until you,” Zhou Mi said, startling him out of the reverie that had begun to move his face into a cheek-aching grin.
He composed himself, as much as he could. Still feeling the tug at the corners of his mouth as he leaned his head closer to Zhou Mi’s. “I guess we’re doing something right, then.”
“A lot of right things.”
And they had a shuffling kicking battle to alleviate the heavy admissions. He didn’t spend much, or really hardly any time, worrying about their “future” At least, not as much as he had. Some of the things Zhou Mi had said to him, some of the things he’d done, quieted all the little questions. Bigger ones, like how well they got along, sort of answered themselves. The only fights they’d really had, had been about their relationship. And some of that had been misunderstanding, and insecurity on his part.
“Kui Xian,” Zhou Mi murmured, and kissed his neck.
It sent a chill right through him, and then he remembered they were still on the ride and slapped the thigh closest to him.
“You’ll get us arrested for public indecency. Who tops when you’re making it up to me when we get back?”
Zhou Mi’s eyes roamed his face. “That’s up to you.”
Hmm. Then he had a few ideas, and- The kiss they’d been going for had been brought up short by the brim of Kyuhyun’s souvenir cap. And all for the better, as they waited the ride came to an end. Zhou Mi climbed off behind him and they walked down the ramps together.
“I figure we have to switch a while, see which I like best. Best of both worlds, right?” Kyuhyun suggested.
Zhou Mi just laughed and kept a hand on his shoulder. And he got an eyeful of that profile. He had no idea how long Zhou Mi would be satisfied with him. But he at least had reached the conclusion that it was not impossible that Zhou Mi was happy. Even if there were a lot of unknowns. Like whose apartment they were going to, and who was going to take the lead. Shower after their day, or shower after sex?
Zhou Mi had promised him it’d be a good day, and it had been. And questions like those weren’t sad to ponder in the least.
***
Sex and a shower had turned into making out in the shower. And Zhou Mi leaving because he had plans not involving Kyuhyun the next day. He found he didn’t mind so much, being able to wind down from the day, sleep in his own bed without worry he was going to knock Zhou Mi onto the floor. Either they were going to have to migrate to Zhou Mi’s apartment if they had sleepovers, or he was going to have to suck it up and get another bed. It wasn’t exactly a sacrifice after all. He wondered what Zhou Mi would have to say about that. And realized he very much looked forward to finding out.
***
Their next actual “date” happened on a Wednesday. He knew that because Ryeowook had inquired about who was planning these outings that Kyuhyun both admitted he liked and dutifully complained about. And then, there was the stare, which was uncomfortable. Somewhere in Zhou Mi’s repertoire of expressions, there was probably one of those stares that made him want to crawl under a table. But Ryeowook had gotten in on that train way early. Kyuhyun was assured he didn’t need some higher degree to be able to plan a date, and he would only get himself on Zhou Mi’s good side by being a man and taking initiative. Good side meant more sex, or something. Not that they were lacking in that as yet.
Still, when he’d detoured into Zhou Mi’s cubicle, and leaned in to ask if he wanted to go out for dinner the next day, he’d gotten a Zhou Mi -type stare. The little greeting smile fading and blooming into one that curved in a totally different way, lips, eyes, hairline even.
“Yes,” Zhou Mi said, laughing.
He shushed Zhou Mi silently, and went back to his own seat feeling a little puffed up about it.
So maybe Ryeowook had been right, a little. Dinner had been good. But sprawling half-naked beside the couch afterward had definitely been a highlight.
Tangling their fingers together, propped back on the couch. Talking about nothing. Anything. Zhou Mi pondering getting his nails done, and him teasing.
He almost brought up the idea of the bed. On the tip of his tongue, but Zhou Mi had started laughing at something on the television, and he’d let it go. Another day to ask what kind of mattress Zhou Mi preferred. That night, all he did was use Zhou Mi’s lap as a footrest, and throw crackers at his head. And that was pretty good, too.
***
Zhou Mi being late for work had happened once, during an unavoidable subway traffic snarl-up. He’d also been absent a day, for having a stomach bug. None of them needed a man who had sort of gleefully, if croakily, told Kyuhyun about the misfortunes he’d suffered during the day.
Kyuhyun made note of Zhou Mi’s lateness, but got himself organized anyway. He had three meetings, and a report to turn in. And some kind of slide show to compile, which definitely wasn’t his strong suit. He looked up and realized half an hour had gone by, and there had been no familiar steps behind him. He even swiveled in his chair to make sure Zhou Mi’s chair was empty. When his call got no answer, he texted. Not that he figured a text would get a response if Zhou Mi wasn’t around his phone, but at least it was out there. Even if it was a concise you’re late, what’s up?
He put the unease on the back burner to simmer, and kept working. Answering a call from a coworker, and keeping his head down. Until his cell phone rang. He snatched it so fast, he almost dropped it.
“This is Kyuhyun,” he said, answering quickly.
“Kui Xian.”
Zhou Mi’s voice on the line sounded hoarse, and strange. And considering he’d been wondering for the last half hour why Zhou Mi hadn’t been answering his phone or showing up at work, his mind immediately raced ahead.
“What’s up? Are you sick?”
“No. I called into work already, but I’m actually on the way to the airport. My father had a seizure and fell and hurt himself early this morning, and I don’t know what’s wrong with him. So I have to go.”
The jolt in his stomach took him by surprise, leaning into his desk to breathe.
“Okay. But he’s okay? He’s not…?” Dying? His eyes squeezed shut.
“My mother needs me there while they figure out what is wrong. I don’t know how serious it is. I’ll be touch, though. Kui Xian.”
“Have-Have safe flight, and I hope he’s okay?”
Awkward. Awkward wanting to laugh when it was the last thing he felt like doing, and then Zhou Mi was thanking him and hanging up. He didn’t even have the thought to stop himself from looking back toward Zhou Mi’s cubicle. Empty and silent. And his mind went a thousand ways. What If Zhou Mi’s father were really ill, and what if Zhou Mi had to stay, had to quit his job. Holding down a long-distance relationship? They’d gotten too used to being almost within arms reach. He did his best to focus on his work after that, but he was pretty sure his concentration had gotten on the plane with Zhou Mi.
***