[Fic] Company Time - 1/10
Title: Company Time
Author: Coley Merrin
Pairing: Kyuhyun/Zhou Mi (either/or)
Rating: NC-17
Genre: AU
Summary: Kyuhyun's new coworker brings new challenges to his stuffy cubicle life. And the only problem bigger than realizing that Zhou Mi is living denial, is actually starting to believe him.
***
Chapter One * Chapter Two
***
There were at least three very good reasons why Kyuhyun should have totally written off the person who moved into the cubicle across from him as a possible object of lust.
The first was glaringly obvious from the first time they’d been introduced. The man was tall, and there was no way getting around that. He’d never really cared, not really having the chance to make out with many men taller than himself. He found it rather endearing to be able to kiss down into his partner, whether they were up against a wall or not. But so long as there was kissing going on, he guessed he didn’t really mind. So he kind of negated his first reason right away.
The accent was something different entirely as a second reason. He had nothing against it, quite the opposite in fact. Slightly distracting, which was a problem. Words that sounded almost right, but not quite. A sense of thought going into every sentence. He figured, the less accents in his bed, the more chance he had to pay attention to other very important things. Like biceps and abs, and strange whorls of hair. And a few other important bits. Nothing at all, really. So he set up a little wall to keep himself from being charmed by it altogether.
And the third reason, the one that was rather irrefutable despite any hopeful signals he might have had to the contrary, was that Zhou Mi was straight.
He’d learned this within the first ten minutes of having made Zhou Mi’s acquaintance.
“My girlfriend,” Zhou Mi said, whipping out his cell phone and showing him a picture of a pretty, smiling girl.
He wasn’t sure what he’d said.
Okay. That was a lie. He remembered exactly what he’d said, because he’d slapped himself in the forehead repeatedly afterward despite being sure that no one but himself cared.
Even if he had said rather idiotically, “A girl?”
“She’s not that young!” Zhou Mi had laughed.
Clearly taking it a different way than Kyuhyun had meant it. Being shown a girl’s picture wasn’t exactly shocking. If it had been a guy, that might’ve qualified. But a girlfriend, yes, did typically equal a girl. And he was sure if he’d stood there for any longer, he’d have been treated to images of said girl with Zhou Mi beside her.
But he’d soldiered on, showing Zhou Mi the delightful and scintillating place where he could store his lunch, and the best place to get water. Also, visiting their woefully aged and cantankerous copy machine. Even in the digital age, it still got used, which just made everyone who touched it cantankerous, too. He’d returned to his desk more than once with a previously pristine shirt smudged with toner ink. The last major repair it hand undergone had been when the auto-feed tray had begun shredding paper instead of feeding it. Strangely, they had a piece of equipment to do the shredding already. And management had complied in the face of mutiny, because copying one page at a time was tantamount to cruel and unusual punishment.
Restless natives had nothing on disgruntled corporate drones.
But he got a few laughs out of Zhou Mi from the horror stories. Better to tell him the stories about the equipment than the bosses. He’d find out the tricks of navigating those soon enough.
He left Zhou Mi in his cubicle with the afterthought offer to let Kyuhyun know if he needed anything. Phone numbers. Password advice. A stapler to bash his head against. Anything, really. He figured he wouldn’t be taken up on it too much. And unless Zhou Mi was a chatterer who thought standing behind him and hulking through Kyuhyun’s space was acceptable use of company time. Not that Kyuhyun wouldn’t mind the occasional break from strings of emails and watching his hard earned work go down in a gulp of word-processing seizures.
But keeping his eyes on his own computer was sort of ridiculous and hard after the first week. Seeing Zhou Mi begin his quirky habits and get out of New Employee Mode.
Watching him on the phone, unable to sit still. Taking one and a half very precise steps to the left, only to turn and take one and a half steps to the right. Which was all the cubicle would allow without turning in maddening circles. He figured anyone else would’ve totally gone crazy with all that movement out of the corner of their eye, but he was a gamer. He knew how to ignore what he didn’t need, and pay attention when he did. Watching that butt waggle while the man dug through his stackable filing boxes definitely qualified as something he was interested in.
And his three reasons for not lusting, he forgot after day two, when he decided he wanted to lick Zhou Mi’s accent, cover it in chocolate, and make sweet love to it for at least a week.
If a week meant a year. Or two.
And oh yes, totally and utterly impossible.
It really meant he had two options. Game until his eyes failed, and get taken care of for the rest of his life. Or just jack off and get over it. He opted for a combination.
Lust was a cocktail best served with a side of campaigning for glory. Of that fact, no one could argue otherwise.
***
The work week went in three distinct sections.
The beginning, with its insurmountable time stretching out in front of it. Also, dealing with all the projects he’d tried to forget over the weekend.
Then there was the middle. Halfway there, and yet not far enough. Staring at the calendar as though it was going to magically be the last afternoon before freedom.
And then there was the end. Too often insane, having him counting down the minutes and sending frustrated glances forever at the clock that wouldn’t let him go home.
And then, of course, the weekend. The crowning glory. The reward after a week of hard, wrist-aching labor in front of a too-happily buzzing computer. The joy of sitting in a place of his own, in his underwear if he so chose, and doing nothing but lovingly basting his lap in the warm glow of his computer’s heat. And eating, yes. That, too.
But he found that having a friend at the office sort of mashed up that trend. It wasn’t so much waiting for the weekend, as it was waiting for lunch, when Zhou Mi could tell him in person about all the little foibles of the morning.
Or, after work, when they’d hit what had been Kyuhyun’s favorite bar. But they’d moved to a different one because Zhou Mi claimed the music was better. And, incidentally, he’d been right. There were also better food vendors, which almost kept them from going inside at all. Just grabbing a seat outside and stuffing their faces, and musing about managerial tactics, and why IT never seemed to know what the hell was going on.
And there were the IMs on their company’s preferred software. The “@_@” faces after their boss wandered by their cubicles, and the “How do we get that done, exactly?”s. And the bragging, of course. IMing links to finished projects and accolades, and using it as a forum to show off what they could do. And while he thought of most of his coworkers as a smidge incompetent at times, he found Zhou Mi to be perpetually, almost nauseatingly cheerful. And competent to boot. So whenever Kyuhyun IMed some random moaning, Zhou Mi sent him back smiley faces and links to resources, and good luck messages.
He sent a few middle fingers, very subtle behind his chair, back toward Zhou Mi. And he knew Zhou Mi was looking, because what he got was a laugh. And since Zhou Mi was new, he got thrown some of the crap jobs. Zhou Mi rarely complained, just working away. Having just enough spine not to be completely a pushover. There were some balls under that cuddly exterior. And he appreciated that very much.
But it was kind of gradual. It didn’t take a week, or even a month. But Zhou Mi had gone from The Guy Casually Scouted for Lusting Possibilities, to The Coworker Who Was Fun to Talk to, to The Friend He Looked Forward to Hanging Out With.
Not that they’d graduated, much, beyond getting something to eat and drink after work a couple times a week. They made noises about catching a movie, or hanging out for some TV thing, but the rest of Zhou Mi’s free time went toward The Girlfriend.
Zhou Mi told Kyuhyun her name about twelve times before he’d finally resigned himself to the fact that Kyuhyun wasn’t ever going to call her anything but The Girlfriend.
Jealousy was kind of a harsh word for it. He wasn’t thinking, man, that girl isn’t good enough. Zhou Mi should be dating me. He was more thinking, hey, this guy is my friend, let me have some more time.
Though, considering, Zhou Mi orchestrated his dates as though he were planning outings with the queen. From Kyuhyun’s inadvertent but more-than-interested eavesdropping, they planned dates not a few days or a week, but actual weeks in advance. It couldn’t be worth it for twelve phone calls to end in one date, but apparently it was to Zhou Mi. Twelve very discreet phone calls. And not every day. And so he was exaggerating a little, but it seemed like those days that Zhou Mi was trying to plan things, he was on the phone with her at least once an hour. He didn’t know if Zhou Mi was texting her in between too, but if he was that made it ever worse. It was so bizarre to him, that their schedules were so unmeshed, that it took him entirely by surprise when the actual paragon herself came to visit Zhou Mi at his job.
And he might not have known at all, except that a sweet voice saying “oppa” behind him wasn’t typical workday happenings. He swiveled to see her, in her little skirt and leggings and some kind of scarf thing that looked to be eating her neck, and Zhou Mi smiling at her.
And he reasoned that if he hadn’t begun to dislike her on principle for making Zhou Mi run in almost literal circles to see her, then making Zhou Mi bend down to speak to her was a second-best reason.
“Ah, this is Kyuhyun,” Zhou Mi said, taking her arm and leading her the full four feet to Kyuhyun’s cubicle, where he figured if “do not want” feelings were able to send waves, both The Girlfriend and Zhou Mi would’ve been somewhere beside Mars. “He’s the coworker I told you about, remember?”
They greeted each other politely, and he mentioned, not untrue, that Zhou Mi spoke highly of her. She wasn’t an air-headed bubble or some kind of harpy, just someone who was busy. And that deflated all of his dislike. He held out on the height thing, though. And the seeing-less-of-Zhou Mi.
And of course that night Zhou Mi wanted to know every single one of his reactions to meeting her finally, and he’d had to say he found her pretty and nice. And Zhou Mi had beamed and hummed, and shifted around like the happy person he generally was.
And Kyuhyun decided he needed a boyfriend, and stat. No more accidentally brushing up against Zhou Mi in the supply room, or ogling as he paced. No more. He couldn’t do that to himself. He wasn’t a complete idiot. He knew why his libido wasn’t taking a rain check any more, and his sense of entitlement to Zhou Mi’s presence was getting out of hand. He just needed to kindly, gently, smash it back in the right direction, toward, say… A man who would actually be willing to roll around in bed with him.
And he had plans and aspirations to that, too.
Until Zhou Mi and The Girlfriend broke up.
***
There was a small forest of beer bottles on the table. Zhou Mi had actually brought his own, which had been fine with him. To each his own alcohol preference. Though Kyuhyun’s choice of soju was apparently acceptable. And it went well with the food they ordered in, and the movie Zhou Mi had brought with him. And the movie had actually been kind of funny, since he hadn’t really known what movie Zhou Mi was intending to bring. Emotional and goopy? Exciting? He’d had no clue, and had prepared himself to be either entertained or bored stiff while discovering new things about Zhou Mi and his movie preferences.
The fact that he’d almost snorted beer out of his nose at one point, he was going to assume they were both forgetting. Zhou Mi hadn’t laughed so much as drawn his knees up to protect his manhood from the accidental and all-too-well imaginable injury on screen.
“I think I’m buying bubble wrap to go in my pants tomorrow,” Zhou Mi had hissed, and he’d gurgled, still unable to swallow for laughing too hard.
He was quite deliciously buzzed as the credits rolled, switching from his dvd player to regular television.
And then Zhou Mi wanted to see his laptop. Which meant, hey let’s show Zhou Mi a game. Which turned into a drinking game for every success he made. And a few he didn’t make, but he figured Zhou Mi wouldn’t know the difference. But he wasn’t exactly heavy on the skills when he had to peer at his keyboard to find where he’d misplaced one of his keys. So he set it aside, and focused on slurping a little more alcohol into his bloodstream.
“It’s nice having something to do on the weekends. Er. Someone to be with,” he said. “How you feeling?”
“I miss having a girlfriend,” Zhou Mi moaned, slumping sideways against Kyuhyun’s shoulder. And it was quite a change from the previously giggly drunk beside him.
“It’s barely been a few days. What could you possibly miss already?”
“I miss talking to her.”
Kyuhyun raised an eyebrow. “And you don’t talk to anyone else? We talk.”
“You don’t listen the same way a girlfriend does.”
“Oh, is that what you’re saying? I’m not quite interested enough.” He pitched his voice higher, “‘Oh, Zhou Mi. I never knew working in an office was so fascinating! You’re a hero! Take me now!’”
Zhou Mi’s fist knocked into his side, and he laughed. “I know you don’t do that to your girlfriends.”
“I’m way more gentle,” Zhou Mi protested. “And touching. I miss touching.”
“Is that a euphemism for sex?”
Zhou Mi’s lip extended in a slight pout. “I miss that, too. That’s not something you get from friends.”
He wondered if there was a leer on his face as he tried to joke, “Depends on what kind of sex you want.”
“That’s not funny.”
Kyuhyun let his head fall back. “Yeah, it probably wasn’t.”
Of course, it might’ve been if it had actually been a joke.
A few shots later, everything seemed more funny. The way that Zhou Mi splatted into the cushions after returning from the bathroom, the way he rubbed his thigh.
“This is fun,” Zhou Mi murmured.
“Mmm,” Kyuhyun agreed. He didn’t have too many friends who’d sit in his apartment, watch him game, and get sloshed with him afterward. They’d call him a big fat bore if it came right down to it. He shoved at the arm that was still moving as Zhou Mi kept rubbing his own thigh. “Stop. Are you horny or something? Why are you so fidgety.”
“I can’t stop thinking about it. I do miss sex. Ugh.”
Ideally, he’d pour Zhou Mi fully onto the couch, let him pass into oblivion, and try to game a couple hours before passing out on his own bed. The little devil inside him wouldn’t let him. He couldn’t help it. He’d been a curious child, and he had a man who couldn’t stop thinking about sex beside him. Even if he was thinking about sex with women, Kyuhyun’s libido stepped up to bat and took a few practice swings. He liked sex, too. And talking about sex was almost as good as having it. Sometimes.
Who knew? Maybe Zhou Mi had some kind of freaky sexual encounters to talk about that would brighten his thoughts given his current complete lack of options.
“What do you miss most about it?” he asked, turning his head so he could stare at Zhou Mi’s profile. And then he got caught on Zhou Mi’s Adam’s apple as he swallowed hard.
“Everything?”
“There’s got to be something specific,” he scoffed. “Handjobs? Blowjobs? A wet mouth sucking at you, or sliding into someone, hot and tight. Kisses with lots of tongue. Grinding with your clothes still on. Massages? Sex toys? Something?”
Zhou Mi let out a short, guttural moan as Kyuhyun stopped talking. “I miss… Sex. Just being against someone. But I haven’t had a blowjob in… It’s been too long. I’d give anything for that.”
“You like the licking, the sucking?” Kyuhyun asked, voice quiet as Zhou Mi’s head tilted toward him almost imperceptibly. “Or maybe hands all wet and slick helping out. You like it when they swallow? Or you like to come on their faces?”
He was deliberately being gender non-specific, for his own sanity, and just a perverse personality. Let Zhou Mi fill in breasts and whatever if he wanted. All Kyuhyun knew was what he himself was picturing. Zhou Mi’s mouth wouldn’t look so bad stretched around him. Though he’d get a sunburn in a lead box before he’d expect that to happen.
“Come on their faces?” Zhou Mi mused out loud. “No, I don’t care. As long as I keep coming.”
“It’s nice, right? Seeing yourself come. You know you accomplished something. It’s all there, pumping out of you, all over someone else.” He closed his eyes and pictured coming over someone’s stomach. Yeah. There was something satisfying in that.
“Having them swallow is nice,” Kyuhyun continued. “Keeps the flow going, if you know what I mean.”
Zhou Mi moaned, again, and he caught movement, eyes laser sharp. Zhou Mi’s thumb rubbing suspiciously close to his zipper. On the opposite side as Kyuhyun, of course, but he could see some pressure causing Zhou Mi’s pants to pouch. Fuck me, he thought. He’d gotten that far. Turning Zhou Mi on by talking about sex. Turning himself on. He just hadn’t let himself put hand down yet. Once the friction started, it was kind of a drag to have to stop.
“Aren’t you glad we have hands, so we can take care of it ourselves?” he murmured.
“Sex is amazing. Feeling someone’s skin. It’s- It feels good, but it’s so amazing.”
“Did your girlfriend do that for you?”
Maybe not the best idea, bringing up his ex, but sue him, he was curious, too.
Zhou Mi’s head flopped back and forth. “No. I didn’t try. Probably why we didn’t make it. She didn’t want me. I didn’t want her.”
“There’ll be another. Someone else you can get naked with. Kiss all you want.”
His motives were, if not pure, then at least altruistic. Zhou Mi clearly needed to get off, and he was just encouraging him that way. If it meant seeing what Zhou Mi had hidden in his pants, he’d take one for the team and his fantasies. Not that he actually expected that to happen.
“Shouldn’t,” Zhou Mi muttered, but his hand hadn’t stopped. “I need to… Bathroom?”
All the privacy he could desire. Well, it was going to be a test to see if the blind could lead the blind.
And apparently he couldn’t. Because he nearly fell on Zhou Mi in the process of getting them upright. Laughing against the point of Zhou Mi’s shoulder from where he’d oozed back beside him because it was so ridiculous. Of course it would all backfire on him.
“Hurts,” Zhou Mi said, and Kyuhyun watched with horrified, fascinated eyes as Zhou Mi began unzipping his pants.
“You didn’t get to the bathroom,” Kyuhyun reminded him, a little sharper than he intended. He was way too drunk to watch Zhou Mi jerk off. In fact, there was no level of alertness or otherwise in which he actually needed that on his psyche. He could joke in his head all he wanted. Reality was different.
And it didn’t stop him from moaning as Zhou Mi’s hand slid into his own underwear, clearly getting his fingers just where he wanted.
“Yes, finally,” Zhou Mi moaned.
He breathed, and didn’t dare to breathe, and figured right then was the time to get up, and walk away, and leave Zhou Mi to his drunken, horny business. But he was frozen and unable to stop staring as Zhou Mi’s underwear inched down, leaving the long fingers more freedom.
“Sorry. I’m sorry,” Zhou Mi garbled. “ Dream about having a hand on me, and not doing it myself, and it never… I want so much. Just be with someone.”
He’d have offered, if he could’ve figured out how to get his brain and his hormones off the floor. He was probably gaping, and probably had forgotten how to breathe. But it was so… Sexy didn’t even cut it.
“Please…”
Zhou Mi’s hand on his was as much a shock as watching him open his pants. Having his hand put on a nice, throbbing erection by his straight friend was totally a different story.
“I don’t…” he stammered.
“Kyuhyun. Harder.”
Zhou Mi had moaned his name. His life was amazing. And really, really sucked.
“What do you want?” he asked, rubbing only the ridge of his palm against Zhou Mi’s erection. Hoping maybe sense would come back to both of them.
“Don’t stop,” Zhou Mi pleaded, lifting his hips.
“What do you want. If you could have anything, right now. What do you want?”
“-to suck me,” Zhou Mi choked. There might have been words before that, but Kyuhyun couldn’t make them out.
“You want me to suck you?” he demanded, the words being parroted before he could even sort them out. And then the images dazzled him.
“Please. Please.”
But would it hurt? If they wanted it?
The angle was awkward, but Zhou Mi’s hand was quick. On the back of his head and pressing as soon as he saw what Kyuhyun intended. It was only the angle that allowed Kyuhyun to brace himself. To keep Zhou Mi’s hand and Zhou Mi’s hips from choking him with his erection.
But the moan he got for it was nothing short of orgasmic itself. He had no idea if Zhou Mi even knew the sounds he was making, but it made his own cock throb in its confines.
It was almost a game, a really sexy one. Manipulating the flushed skin, gauging how hard to suck, where to let his tongue linger. When to regulate his speed, stroking slower, faster, to evoke the results he wanted, or slow down the surge from coming. He’d been around enough to know it didn’t always taste good. But even then, after a point it almost faded to his mind, and what was left was pure pleasure. But as he swirled his tongue he figured Zhou Mi was, and he thought that with an unbeatable mental smile, quite well put together.
But Zhou Mi was hyped enough, turned on enough, that he knew it wasn’t going to be long. If he teased too much, he had no doubt that Zhou Mi would drag him off and make it happen himself. And if he was getting one chance to do this, even as cramped and off angle as he was, he was going to feel everything. Every last twitch and shudder. He was hungry for it. Maybe it was the beer, or the soju. But it was Zhou Mi’s face, that he could only see in his head, and those moans, and that hand on his head. It was too late to do the right thing, the smart thing. And as his hand quickened, so did Zhou Mi’s gasps. The fuse burned low, ready for ejection. And even then, the jerking of Zhou Mi’s hips caught him off guard. The steady build taking a sharp turn. And Zhou Mi came for him, a moan on a sharp exhale, and then nothing more.
He could only do what he knew he liked, keeping the pleasure extending. Not fastidious, he let Zhou Mi’s own come become the vehicle for the gentle stroking. Gentling more, as he watched Zhou Mi’s thighs twitch tellingly. And then he used only his tongue, cleaning a little. More to satisfy himself than any need to catch every drop. Enjoying the play of Zhou Mi’s heavy breathing, and the satisfied flesh under his lips. He breathed against Zhou Mi’s abdomen a moment, the skin there damp and fragrant. The scent of Zhou Mi, and of sex, mingling seamlessly. It did nothing to help the frustration in his own pants.
And then he had the oh shit moment, as he realized he’d just sucked off his straight coworker. His friend. But all his worry faded when he twisted to see if Zhou Mi had reached that conclusion, too, only to see Zhou Mi’s face was slack. Breathing even. The alcohol, the orgasm, too much for him. He wished he’d jerked himself off while Zhou Mi was still in his mouth, but he managed just fine beside him. Remembering the moans. Zhou Mi’s pants were still open, and his mouth was right there. Kyuhyun’s parted, imagining the kiss. If he’d been able to go from Zhou Mi’s cock, to his mouth. Swapping spit and come and moans. He soiled his own shirt with his come, and imagined it was Zhou Mi’s hand instead. Plenty to keep him horny for weeks.
As long as he hoped Zhou Mi didn’t remember anything.
A wet cloth later, he’d tucked Zhou Mi back into his pants, and dragged him horizontal onto the couch. Sleeping like a baby, and too tall for the couch, really. Then he did do the right thing, because he wanted to steal just one kiss.
And he didn’t. He just poured himself into his pajamas and buried himself in bed. He wasn’t some nerdy teenager any more, thrilled to suck off the first guy in college who’d showed him attention. He had a stable job, apartment, future. And he had no idea what he’d just gotten himself into.
***
Kyuhyun assumed that the silence the next morning about the subject was how it would be. What he expected, and honestly, kind of what he’d hoped for. Zhou Mi gave him some stupid grin the next day at work and critiqued the lunch that Kyuhyun had brought, and it was all so…normal. Okay, so he kind of wished something had been said, because he remembered it, a lot. And he wanted, a lot. But also knew pining after it wasn’t going to help. It just made him crazy, and horny at work.
And Zhou Mi clearly wasn’t afraid of him, because the next free night, Zhou Mi had invited himself over to watch another movie. And after, they talked. Well, Zhou Mi talked. Kyuhyun was on the floor with his laptop and gaming and making comments back. Occasionally.
“Do you think of what, uh. What happened last week? When we. When we talked about sex?”
Kyuhyun took a moment before he looked up. He was totally sure about what Zhou Mi was asking him, what he didn’t know was why.
“I thought we were both forgetting it had ever happened,” he said cautiously.
“I know that’s what I thought,” Zhou Mi said, seeming to be carefully breathing. “Do you do that very often? You’d done it before?”
“Give guys blowjobs?” He laughed, folding his legs up tighter under him. “Is there a right answer to that for you? Am I supposed to say I do it at least once a week so you think you’re not special, or would you rather I say that was the first time? It’s been a while. But yeah, I’ve done it before.”
“But you… You like it.”
“Sure, playing with dicks is fun. Mine or someone else’s. So yeah. If that’s what you’re driving at. I think some guys are hot.”
“I guess I just wondered,” Zhou Mi said quietly. “You seemed to like it. What I can remember of it.”
“Yeah. But don’t worry, having a guy’s mouth on you doesn’t make you gay. You were drunk, I was horny. Tell yourself whatever you want, and I promise I won’t bring it up. You don’t have to worry about that.”
“But you liked it,” Zhou Mi said, seeming to repeat himself. And Kyuhyun’s brain sort of paused, catching up to the subtle, roundabout hinting. Why would Zhou Mi bring it up at all, unless he wanted something? He seemed intent to find out that Kyuhyun might have enjoyed it.
“Are you asking me if I’d do it again?” he asked Zhou Mi bluntly. “You want to see what it’s like when you’re sober?”
Or almost. They’d been drinking, just not quite as much. Just enough, maybe, to take the edge off the mental filters.
“I don’t have a girlfriend right now,” Zhou Mi began, and it made Kyuhyun laugh.
“So you want my mouth to be your girlfriend. That’s precious.”
And it was a terrible idea. It reeked of experimentation, and everything in Kyuhyun promised it was going to blow up in his face. And not in a nice way. It probably would’ve been easier if they were just kind of acquaintances, and didn’t work closely together, or really were friendly at all. But since Zhou Mi’s hands were clasped almost as though he were praying, Kyuhyun didn’t know whether one way or the other would hurt him. He could make a joke, send Zhou Mi away. Zhou Mi probably wouldn’t ever look at him again, embarrassed by what he’d asked Kyuhyun to do. So he could suck Zhou Mi off, properly this time, and give himself another notch in his fantasy list for nights alone. In doing so, he’d probably alienate Zhou Mi, which was same result if he did the right thing.
Or, perhaps it could be just a casual thing. Zhou Mi would get horny, come to him. Get tipsy, quick blowjob, watch some TV, go to work the next day as though nothing happened. Friends, with the occasional, unspoken and one-sided benefits. He didn’t have a line of guys waiting, and he hadn’t really been joking. He liked giving head almost as much as he liked receiving it. It was hot, the feel of a guy in his mouth, the sounds, tastes, textures. There was power in it, and submission, too. But he didn’t think about the varied reasons why he wanted it, he just knew he did. He’d gotten his mouth on Zhou Mi once, and never expected to have a second chance. But here one was, sitting on his couch with slightly parted thighs and a nervous expression. That was something they had in common.
He set aside his laptop and wiped his palms down his pant legs.
“How do you want me?” he asked, and sealed his own fate.
***
Author: Coley Merrin
Pairing: Kyuhyun/Zhou Mi (either/or)
Rating: NC-17
Genre: AU
Summary: Kyuhyun's new coworker brings new challenges to his stuffy cubicle life. And the only problem bigger than realizing that Zhou Mi is living denial, is actually starting to believe him.
***
Chapter One * Chapter Two
***
There were at least three very good reasons why Kyuhyun should have totally written off the person who moved into the cubicle across from him as a possible object of lust.
The first was glaringly obvious from the first time they’d been introduced. The man was tall, and there was no way getting around that. He’d never really cared, not really having the chance to make out with many men taller than himself. He found it rather endearing to be able to kiss down into his partner, whether they were up against a wall or not. But so long as there was kissing going on, he guessed he didn’t really mind. So he kind of negated his first reason right away.
The accent was something different entirely as a second reason. He had nothing against it, quite the opposite in fact. Slightly distracting, which was a problem. Words that sounded almost right, but not quite. A sense of thought going into every sentence. He figured, the less accents in his bed, the more chance he had to pay attention to other very important things. Like biceps and abs, and strange whorls of hair. And a few other important bits. Nothing at all, really. So he set up a little wall to keep himself from being charmed by it altogether.
And the third reason, the one that was rather irrefutable despite any hopeful signals he might have had to the contrary, was that Zhou Mi was straight.
He’d learned this within the first ten minutes of having made Zhou Mi’s acquaintance.
“My girlfriend,” Zhou Mi said, whipping out his cell phone and showing him a picture of a pretty, smiling girl.
He wasn’t sure what he’d said.
Okay. That was a lie. He remembered exactly what he’d said, because he’d slapped himself in the forehead repeatedly afterward despite being sure that no one but himself cared.
Even if he had said rather idiotically, “A girl?”
“She’s not that young!” Zhou Mi had laughed.
Clearly taking it a different way than Kyuhyun had meant it. Being shown a girl’s picture wasn’t exactly shocking. If it had been a guy, that might’ve qualified. But a girlfriend, yes, did typically equal a girl. And he was sure if he’d stood there for any longer, he’d have been treated to images of said girl with Zhou Mi beside her.
But he’d soldiered on, showing Zhou Mi the delightful and scintillating place where he could store his lunch, and the best place to get water. Also, visiting their woefully aged and cantankerous copy machine. Even in the digital age, it still got used, which just made everyone who touched it cantankerous, too. He’d returned to his desk more than once with a previously pristine shirt smudged with toner ink. The last major repair it hand undergone had been when the auto-feed tray had begun shredding paper instead of feeding it. Strangely, they had a piece of equipment to do the shredding already. And management had complied in the face of mutiny, because copying one page at a time was tantamount to cruel and unusual punishment.
Restless natives had nothing on disgruntled corporate drones.
But he got a few laughs out of Zhou Mi from the horror stories. Better to tell him the stories about the equipment than the bosses. He’d find out the tricks of navigating those soon enough.
He left Zhou Mi in his cubicle with the afterthought offer to let Kyuhyun know if he needed anything. Phone numbers. Password advice. A stapler to bash his head against. Anything, really. He figured he wouldn’t be taken up on it too much. And unless Zhou Mi was a chatterer who thought standing behind him and hulking through Kyuhyun’s space was acceptable use of company time. Not that Kyuhyun wouldn’t mind the occasional break from strings of emails and watching his hard earned work go down in a gulp of word-processing seizures.
But keeping his eyes on his own computer was sort of ridiculous and hard after the first week. Seeing Zhou Mi begin his quirky habits and get out of New Employee Mode.
Watching him on the phone, unable to sit still. Taking one and a half very precise steps to the left, only to turn and take one and a half steps to the right. Which was all the cubicle would allow without turning in maddening circles. He figured anyone else would’ve totally gone crazy with all that movement out of the corner of their eye, but he was a gamer. He knew how to ignore what he didn’t need, and pay attention when he did. Watching that butt waggle while the man dug through his stackable filing boxes definitely qualified as something he was interested in.
And his three reasons for not lusting, he forgot after day two, when he decided he wanted to lick Zhou Mi’s accent, cover it in chocolate, and make sweet love to it for at least a week.
If a week meant a year. Or two.
And oh yes, totally and utterly impossible.
It really meant he had two options. Game until his eyes failed, and get taken care of for the rest of his life. Or just jack off and get over it. He opted for a combination.
Lust was a cocktail best served with a side of campaigning for glory. Of that fact, no one could argue otherwise.
***
The work week went in three distinct sections.
The beginning, with its insurmountable time stretching out in front of it. Also, dealing with all the projects he’d tried to forget over the weekend.
Then there was the middle. Halfway there, and yet not far enough. Staring at the calendar as though it was going to magically be the last afternoon before freedom.
And then there was the end. Too often insane, having him counting down the minutes and sending frustrated glances forever at the clock that wouldn’t let him go home.
And then, of course, the weekend. The crowning glory. The reward after a week of hard, wrist-aching labor in front of a too-happily buzzing computer. The joy of sitting in a place of his own, in his underwear if he so chose, and doing nothing but lovingly basting his lap in the warm glow of his computer’s heat. And eating, yes. That, too.
But he found that having a friend at the office sort of mashed up that trend. It wasn’t so much waiting for the weekend, as it was waiting for lunch, when Zhou Mi could tell him in person about all the little foibles of the morning.
Or, after work, when they’d hit what had been Kyuhyun’s favorite bar. But they’d moved to a different one because Zhou Mi claimed the music was better. And, incidentally, he’d been right. There were also better food vendors, which almost kept them from going inside at all. Just grabbing a seat outside and stuffing their faces, and musing about managerial tactics, and why IT never seemed to know what the hell was going on.
And there were the IMs on their company’s preferred software. The “@_@” faces after their boss wandered by their cubicles, and the “How do we get that done, exactly?”s. And the bragging, of course. IMing links to finished projects and accolades, and using it as a forum to show off what they could do. And while he thought of most of his coworkers as a smidge incompetent at times, he found Zhou Mi to be perpetually, almost nauseatingly cheerful. And competent to boot. So whenever Kyuhyun IMed some random moaning, Zhou Mi sent him back smiley faces and links to resources, and good luck messages.
He sent a few middle fingers, very subtle behind his chair, back toward Zhou Mi. And he knew Zhou Mi was looking, because what he got was a laugh. And since Zhou Mi was new, he got thrown some of the crap jobs. Zhou Mi rarely complained, just working away. Having just enough spine not to be completely a pushover. There were some balls under that cuddly exterior. And he appreciated that very much.
But it was kind of gradual. It didn’t take a week, or even a month. But Zhou Mi had gone from The Guy Casually Scouted for Lusting Possibilities, to The Coworker Who Was Fun to Talk to, to The Friend He Looked Forward to Hanging Out With.
Not that they’d graduated, much, beyond getting something to eat and drink after work a couple times a week. They made noises about catching a movie, or hanging out for some TV thing, but the rest of Zhou Mi’s free time went toward The Girlfriend.
Zhou Mi told Kyuhyun her name about twelve times before he’d finally resigned himself to the fact that Kyuhyun wasn’t ever going to call her anything but The Girlfriend.
Jealousy was kind of a harsh word for it. He wasn’t thinking, man, that girl isn’t good enough. Zhou Mi should be dating me. He was more thinking, hey, this guy is my friend, let me have some more time.
Though, considering, Zhou Mi orchestrated his dates as though he were planning outings with the queen. From Kyuhyun’s inadvertent but more-than-interested eavesdropping, they planned dates not a few days or a week, but actual weeks in advance. It couldn’t be worth it for twelve phone calls to end in one date, but apparently it was to Zhou Mi. Twelve very discreet phone calls. And not every day. And so he was exaggerating a little, but it seemed like those days that Zhou Mi was trying to plan things, he was on the phone with her at least once an hour. He didn’t know if Zhou Mi was texting her in between too, but if he was that made it ever worse. It was so bizarre to him, that their schedules were so unmeshed, that it took him entirely by surprise when the actual paragon herself came to visit Zhou Mi at his job.
And he might not have known at all, except that a sweet voice saying “oppa” behind him wasn’t typical workday happenings. He swiveled to see her, in her little skirt and leggings and some kind of scarf thing that looked to be eating her neck, and Zhou Mi smiling at her.
And he reasoned that if he hadn’t begun to dislike her on principle for making Zhou Mi run in almost literal circles to see her, then making Zhou Mi bend down to speak to her was a second-best reason.
“Ah, this is Kyuhyun,” Zhou Mi said, taking her arm and leading her the full four feet to Kyuhyun’s cubicle, where he figured if “do not want” feelings were able to send waves, both The Girlfriend and Zhou Mi would’ve been somewhere beside Mars. “He’s the coworker I told you about, remember?”
They greeted each other politely, and he mentioned, not untrue, that Zhou Mi spoke highly of her. She wasn’t an air-headed bubble or some kind of harpy, just someone who was busy. And that deflated all of his dislike. He held out on the height thing, though. And the seeing-less-of-Zhou Mi.
And of course that night Zhou Mi wanted to know every single one of his reactions to meeting her finally, and he’d had to say he found her pretty and nice. And Zhou Mi had beamed and hummed, and shifted around like the happy person he generally was.
And Kyuhyun decided he needed a boyfriend, and stat. No more accidentally brushing up against Zhou Mi in the supply room, or ogling as he paced. No more. He couldn’t do that to himself. He wasn’t a complete idiot. He knew why his libido wasn’t taking a rain check any more, and his sense of entitlement to Zhou Mi’s presence was getting out of hand. He just needed to kindly, gently, smash it back in the right direction, toward, say… A man who would actually be willing to roll around in bed with him.
And he had plans and aspirations to that, too.
Until Zhou Mi and The Girlfriend broke up.
***
There was a small forest of beer bottles on the table. Zhou Mi had actually brought his own, which had been fine with him. To each his own alcohol preference. Though Kyuhyun’s choice of soju was apparently acceptable. And it went well with the food they ordered in, and the movie Zhou Mi had brought with him. And the movie had actually been kind of funny, since he hadn’t really known what movie Zhou Mi was intending to bring. Emotional and goopy? Exciting? He’d had no clue, and had prepared himself to be either entertained or bored stiff while discovering new things about Zhou Mi and his movie preferences.
The fact that he’d almost snorted beer out of his nose at one point, he was going to assume they were both forgetting. Zhou Mi hadn’t laughed so much as drawn his knees up to protect his manhood from the accidental and all-too-well imaginable injury on screen.
“I think I’m buying bubble wrap to go in my pants tomorrow,” Zhou Mi had hissed, and he’d gurgled, still unable to swallow for laughing too hard.
He was quite deliciously buzzed as the credits rolled, switching from his dvd player to regular television.
And then Zhou Mi wanted to see his laptop. Which meant, hey let’s show Zhou Mi a game. Which turned into a drinking game for every success he made. And a few he didn’t make, but he figured Zhou Mi wouldn’t know the difference. But he wasn’t exactly heavy on the skills when he had to peer at his keyboard to find where he’d misplaced one of his keys. So he set it aside, and focused on slurping a little more alcohol into his bloodstream.
“It’s nice having something to do on the weekends. Er. Someone to be with,” he said. “How you feeling?”
“I miss having a girlfriend,” Zhou Mi moaned, slumping sideways against Kyuhyun’s shoulder. And it was quite a change from the previously giggly drunk beside him.
“It’s barely been a few days. What could you possibly miss already?”
“I miss talking to her.”
Kyuhyun raised an eyebrow. “And you don’t talk to anyone else? We talk.”
“You don’t listen the same way a girlfriend does.”
“Oh, is that what you’re saying? I’m not quite interested enough.” He pitched his voice higher, “‘Oh, Zhou Mi. I never knew working in an office was so fascinating! You’re a hero! Take me now!’”
Zhou Mi’s fist knocked into his side, and he laughed. “I know you don’t do that to your girlfriends.”
“I’m way more gentle,” Zhou Mi protested. “And touching. I miss touching.”
“Is that a euphemism for sex?”
Zhou Mi’s lip extended in a slight pout. “I miss that, too. That’s not something you get from friends.”
He wondered if there was a leer on his face as he tried to joke, “Depends on what kind of sex you want.”
“That’s not funny.”
Kyuhyun let his head fall back. “Yeah, it probably wasn’t.”
Of course, it might’ve been if it had actually been a joke.
A few shots later, everything seemed more funny. The way that Zhou Mi splatted into the cushions after returning from the bathroom, the way he rubbed his thigh.
“This is fun,” Zhou Mi murmured.
“Mmm,” Kyuhyun agreed. He didn’t have too many friends who’d sit in his apartment, watch him game, and get sloshed with him afterward. They’d call him a big fat bore if it came right down to it. He shoved at the arm that was still moving as Zhou Mi kept rubbing his own thigh. “Stop. Are you horny or something? Why are you so fidgety.”
“I can’t stop thinking about it. I do miss sex. Ugh.”
Ideally, he’d pour Zhou Mi fully onto the couch, let him pass into oblivion, and try to game a couple hours before passing out on his own bed. The little devil inside him wouldn’t let him. He couldn’t help it. He’d been a curious child, and he had a man who couldn’t stop thinking about sex beside him. Even if he was thinking about sex with women, Kyuhyun’s libido stepped up to bat and took a few practice swings. He liked sex, too. And talking about sex was almost as good as having it. Sometimes.
Who knew? Maybe Zhou Mi had some kind of freaky sexual encounters to talk about that would brighten his thoughts given his current complete lack of options.
“What do you miss most about it?” he asked, turning his head so he could stare at Zhou Mi’s profile. And then he got caught on Zhou Mi’s Adam’s apple as he swallowed hard.
“Everything?”
“There’s got to be something specific,” he scoffed. “Handjobs? Blowjobs? A wet mouth sucking at you, or sliding into someone, hot and tight. Kisses with lots of tongue. Grinding with your clothes still on. Massages? Sex toys? Something?”
Zhou Mi let out a short, guttural moan as Kyuhyun stopped talking. “I miss… Sex. Just being against someone. But I haven’t had a blowjob in… It’s been too long. I’d give anything for that.”
“You like the licking, the sucking?” Kyuhyun asked, voice quiet as Zhou Mi’s head tilted toward him almost imperceptibly. “Or maybe hands all wet and slick helping out. You like it when they swallow? Or you like to come on their faces?”
He was deliberately being gender non-specific, for his own sanity, and just a perverse personality. Let Zhou Mi fill in breasts and whatever if he wanted. All Kyuhyun knew was what he himself was picturing. Zhou Mi’s mouth wouldn’t look so bad stretched around him. Though he’d get a sunburn in a lead box before he’d expect that to happen.
“Come on their faces?” Zhou Mi mused out loud. “No, I don’t care. As long as I keep coming.”
“It’s nice, right? Seeing yourself come. You know you accomplished something. It’s all there, pumping out of you, all over someone else.” He closed his eyes and pictured coming over someone’s stomach. Yeah. There was something satisfying in that.
“Having them swallow is nice,” Kyuhyun continued. “Keeps the flow going, if you know what I mean.”
Zhou Mi moaned, again, and he caught movement, eyes laser sharp. Zhou Mi’s thumb rubbing suspiciously close to his zipper. On the opposite side as Kyuhyun, of course, but he could see some pressure causing Zhou Mi’s pants to pouch. Fuck me, he thought. He’d gotten that far. Turning Zhou Mi on by talking about sex. Turning himself on. He just hadn’t let himself put hand down yet. Once the friction started, it was kind of a drag to have to stop.
“Aren’t you glad we have hands, so we can take care of it ourselves?” he murmured.
“Sex is amazing. Feeling someone’s skin. It’s- It feels good, but it’s so amazing.”
“Did your girlfriend do that for you?”
Maybe not the best idea, bringing up his ex, but sue him, he was curious, too.
Zhou Mi’s head flopped back and forth. “No. I didn’t try. Probably why we didn’t make it. She didn’t want me. I didn’t want her.”
“There’ll be another. Someone else you can get naked with. Kiss all you want.”
His motives were, if not pure, then at least altruistic. Zhou Mi clearly needed to get off, and he was just encouraging him that way. If it meant seeing what Zhou Mi had hidden in his pants, he’d take one for the team and his fantasies. Not that he actually expected that to happen.
“Shouldn’t,” Zhou Mi muttered, but his hand hadn’t stopped. “I need to… Bathroom?”
All the privacy he could desire. Well, it was going to be a test to see if the blind could lead the blind.
And apparently he couldn’t. Because he nearly fell on Zhou Mi in the process of getting them upright. Laughing against the point of Zhou Mi’s shoulder from where he’d oozed back beside him because it was so ridiculous. Of course it would all backfire on him.
“Hurts,” Zhou Mi said, and Kyuhyun watched with horrified, fascinated eyes as Zhou Mi began unzipping his pants.
“You didn’t get to the bathroom,” Kyuhyun reminded him, a little sharper than he intended. He was way too drunk to watch Zhou Mi jerk off. In fact, there was no level of alertness or otherwise in which he actually needed that on his psyche. He could joke in his head all he wanted. Reality was different.
And it didn’t stop him from moaning as Zhou Mi’s hand slid into his own underwear, clearly getting his fingers just where he wanted.
“Yes, finally,” Zhou Mi moaned.
He breathed, and didn’t dare to breathe, and figured right then was the time to get up, and walk away, and leave Zhou Mi to his drunken, horny business. But he was frozen and unable to stop staring as Zhou Mi’s underwear inched down, leaving the long fingers more freedom.
“Sorry. I’m sorry,” Zhou Mi garbled. “ Dream about having a hand on me, and not doing it myself, and it never… I want so much. Just be with someone.”
He’d have offered, if he could’ve figured out how to get his brain and his hormones off the floor. He was probably gaping, and probably had forgotten how to breathe. But it was so… Sexy didn’t even cut it.
“Please…”
Zhou Mi’s hand on his was as much a shock as watching him open his pants. Having his hand put on a nice, throbbing erection by his straight friend was totally a different story.
“I don’t…” he stammered.
“Kyuhyun. Harder.”
Zhou Mi had moaned his name. His life was amazing. And really, really sucked.
“What do you want?” he asked, rubbing only the ridge of his palm against Zhou Mi’s erection. Hoping maybe sense would come back to both of them.
“Don’t stop,” Zhou Mi pleaded, lifting his hips.
“What do you want. If you could have anything, right now. What do you want?”
“-to suck me,” Zhou Mi choked. There might have been words before that, but Kyuhyun couldn’t make them out.
“You want me to suck you?” he demanded, the words being parroted before he could even sort them out. And then the images dazzled him.
“Please. Please.”
But would it hurt? If they wanted it?
The angle was awkward, but Zhou Mi’s hand was quick. On the back of his head and pressing as soon as he saw what Kyuhyun intended. It was only the angle that allowed Kyuhyun to brace himself. To keep Zhou Mi’s hand and Zhou Mi’s hips from choking him with his erection.
But the moan he got for it was nothing short of orgasmic itself. He had no idea if Zhou Mi even knew the sounds he was making, but it made his own cock throb in its confines.
It was almost a game, a really sexy one. Manipulating the flushed skin, gauging how hard to suck, where to let his tongue linger. When to regulate his speed, stroking slower, faster, to evoke the results he wanted, or slow down the surge from coming. He’d been around enough to know it didn’t always taste good. But even then, after a point it almost faded to his mind, and what was left was pure pleasure. But as he swirled his tongue he figured Zhou Mi was, and he thought that with an unbeatable mental smile, quite well put together.
But Zhou Mi was hyped enough, turned on enough, that he knew it wasn’t going to be long. If he teased too much, he had no doubt that Zhou Mi would drag him off and make it happen himself. And if he was getting one chance to do this, even as cramped and off angle as he was, he was going to feel everything. Every last twitch and shudder. He was hungry for it. Maybe it was the beer, or the soju. But it was Zhou Mi’s face, that he could only see in his head, and those moans, and that hand on his head. It was too late to do the right thing, the smart thing. And as his hand quickened, so did Zhou Mi’s gasps. The fuse burned low, ready for ejection. And even then, the jerking of Zhou Mi’s hips caught him off guard. The steady build taking a sharp turn. And Zhou Mi came for him, a moan on a sharp exhale, and then nothing more.
He could only do what he knew he liked, keeping the pleasure extending. Not fastidious, he let Zhou Mi’s own come become the vehicle for the gentle stroking. Gentling more, as he watched Zhou Mi’s thighs twitch tellingly. And then he used only his tongue, cleaning a little. More to satisfy himself than any need to catch every drop. Enjoying the play of Zhou Mi’s heavy breathing, and the satisfied flesh under his lips. He breathed against Zhou Mi’s abdomen a moment, the skin there damp and fragrant. The scent of Zhou Mi, and of sex, mingling seamlessly. It did nothing to help the frustration in his own pants.
And then he had the oh shit moment, as he realized he’d just sucked off his straight coworker. His friend. But all his worry faded when he twisted to see if Zhou Mi had reached that conclusion, too, only to see Zhou Mi’s face was slack. Breathing even. The alcohol, the orgasm, too much for him. He wished he’d jerked himself off while Zhou Mi was still in his mouth, but he managed just fine beside him. Remembering the moans. Zhou Mi’s pants were still open, and his mouth was right there. Kyuhyun’s parted, imagining the kiss. If he’d been able to go from Zhou Mi’s cock, to his mouth. Swapping spit and come and moans. He soiled his own shirt with his come, and imagined it was Zhou Mi’s hand instead. Plenty to keep him horny for weeks.
As long as he hoped Zhou Mi didn’t remember anything.
A wet cloth later, he’d tucked Zhou Mi back into his pants, and dragged him horizontal onto the couch. Sleeping like a baby, and too tall for the couch, really. Then he did do the right thing, because he wanted to steal just one kiss.
And he didn’t. He just poured himself into his pajamas and buried himself in bed. He wasn’t some nerdy teenager any more, thrilled to suck off the first guy in college who’d showed him attention. He had a stable job, apartment, future. And he had no idea what he’d just gotten himself into.
***
Kyuhyun assumed that the silence the next morning about the subject was how it would be. What he expected, and honestly, kind of what he’d hoped for. Zhou Mi gave him some stupid grin the next day at work and critiqued the lunch that Kyuhyun had brought, and it was all so…normal. Okay, so he kind of wished something had been said, because he remembered it, a lot. And he wanted, a lot. But also knew pining after it wasn’t going to help. It just made him crazy, and horny at work.
And Zhou Mi clearly wasn’t afraid of him, because the next free night, Zhou Mi had invited himself over to watch another movie. And after, they talked. Well, Zhou Mi talked. Kyuhyun was on the floor with his laptop and gaming and making comments back. Occasionally.
“Do you think of what, uh. What happened last week? When we. When we talked about sex?”
Kyuhyun took a moment before he looked up. He was totally sure about what Zhou Mi was asking him, what he didn’t know was why.
“I thought we were both forgetting it had ever happened,” he said cautiously.
“I know that’s what I thought,” Zhou Mi said, seeming to be carefully breathing. “Do you do that very often? You’d done it before?”
“Give guys blowjobs?” He laughed, folding his legs up tighter under him. “Is there a right answer to that for you? Am I supposed to say I do it at least once a week so you think you’re not special, or would you rather I say that was the first time? It’s been a while. But yeah, I’ve done it before.”
“But you… You like it.”
“Sure, playing with dicks is fun. Mine or someone else’s. So yeah. If that’s what you’re driving at. I think some guys are hot.”
“I guess I just wondered,” Zhou Mi said quietly. “You seemed to like it. What I can remember of it.”
“Yeah. But don’t worry, having a guy’s mouth on you doesn’t make you gay. You were drunk, I was horny. Tell yourself whatever you want, and I promise I won’t bring it up. You don’t have to worry about that.”
“But you liked it,” Zhou Mi said, seeming to repeat himself. And Kyuhyun’s brain sort of paused, catching up to the subtle, roundabout hinting. Why would Zhou Mi bring it up at all, unless he wanted something? He seemed intent to find out that Kyuhyun might have enjoyed it.
“Are you asking me if I’d do it again?” he asked Zhou Mi bluntly. “You want to see what it’s like when you’re sober?”
Or almost. They’d been drinking, just not quite as much. Just enough, maybe, to take the edge off the mental filters.
“I don’t have a girlfriend right now,” Zhou Mi began, and it made Kyuhyun laugh.
“So you want my mouth to be your girlfriend. That’s precious.”
And it was a terrible idea. It reeked of experimentation, and everything in Kyuhyun promised it was going to blow up in his face. And not in a nice way. It probably would’ve been easier if they were just kind of acquaintances, and didn’t work closely together, or really were friendly at all. But since Zhou Mi’s hands were clasped almost as though he were praying, Kyuhyun didn’t know whether one way or the other would hurt him. He could make a joke, send Zhou Mi away. Zhou Mi probably wouldn’t ever look at him again, embarrassed by what he’d asked Kyuhyun to do. So he could suck Zhou Mi off, properly this time, and give himself another notch in his fantasy list for nights alone. In doing so, he’d probably alienate Zhou Mi, which was same result if he did the right thing.
Or, perhaps it could be just a casual thing. Zhou Mi would get horny, come to him. Get tipsy, quick blowjob, watch some TV, go to work the next day as though nothing happened. Friends, with the occasional, unspoken and one-sided benefits. He didn’t have a line of guys waiting, and he hadn’t really been joking. He liked giving head almost as much as he liked receiving it. It was hot, the feel of a guy in his mouth, the sounds, tastes, textures. There was power in it, and submission, too. But he didn’t think about the varied reasons why he wanted it, he just knew he did. He’d gotten his mouth on Zhou Mi once, and never expected to have a second chance. But here one was, sitting on his couch with slightly parted thighs and a nervous expression. That was something they had in common.
He set aside his laptop and wiped his palms down his pant legs.
“How do you want me?” he asked, and sealed his own fate.
***