[Fic] Zhou Mi Menagerie
Title: Zhou Mi Menagerie
Author: Coley Merrin
Pairing: Zhou Mi/Kyuhyun
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Crack
Summary: When good pets and their owners go bad.
(AKA, Why I Should Not Write Ficlets At Ridiculous Hours)
***
"Kyuhyun is pregnant," Zhou Mi announced quite seriously one day.
The whole of the dorm members that were currently present stared at him. Some were in pajamas. Some were eating. Some were gaping. No one fell to the floor crying in disbelief.
They just stared. Even the pause was pregnant.
And Kyuhyun was almost the only one not there to hear the news.
"Pregnant...with...?" Shindong led with. Anticipation? Disbelief?
"Babies, of course," Zhou Mi said. "We're hoping for at least four or five."
"Four or five babies," Henry clarified, as though he didn't quite understand the language. "At once?"
"They'll be so cute!" Zhou Mi announced, wiggling his hips in joy and pumping his fist once before returning to his room.
"Maybe he's sleepwalking," Sungmin offered, hoping Leeteuk's glazed expression was going to fade.
Kyuhyun just wondered why people were patting him on the shoulder and murmuring congratulations at him when he finally walked in the door. He choked on his ramen when he got congratulated on finally getting it on with Zhou Mi. Zhou Mi had, apparently, told the whole dorm they were doing it.
And they absolutely were not.
Though he kind of wished they were.
Was it a clue? A sign? Zhou Mi telling everyone about their fake sex and hoping for the real thing.
"You told everyone we had sex?" he hissed, sliding onto Zhou Mi's bed. Luckily they were alone in the room, but he wasn't taking any chances in the middle of the night. If they were actually going to get to it, he didn't want anyone interrupting.
"What?" Zhou Mi fumbled for the light. "No! When did I do that?"
"Today! Everyone kept telling me congratulations and insinuating that we were screwing around. Ryeowook said something about babies, but that's not even a good joke. None of us could hide being a guy from each other."
"I didn't tell them anything about us, today...Oh."
"Oh?" Kyuhyun prompted, punching Zhou Mi in the side as the light seemed to dawn on them slowly. "What's oh?"
"I did tell them about babies today," Zhou Mi said. "But... But it was about the gerbil you helped me buy!"
"Your... Then why did they think it was about me? Zhou Mi. Did you name... You named the gerbil Kyuhyun? The girl gerbil?"
"You helped me get her! And she reminded me of you. She bit me at first, and then wouldn't let me put her down."
"Thanks a lot," he breathed. "No wonder everyone kept talking about you knocking me up."
Zhou Mi laughed with some delight, and right then he realized how close they'd gotten. Zhou Mi's face was right there, hair flopping kind of sideways from the way he was laying, and eyes shining with amusement.
"That is as close to pregnant as I ever want to be," he said, gesturing at the sleeping gerbil.
"I think so, too," Zhou Mi said, and pressed his lips to Kyuhyun's cheek, pulling back slowly. "I like you just like you are."
"You didn't tell them like that so this would happen, did you?" he asked the smiling man.
But as Zhou Mi pointed out, they had the room to themselves. And Zhou Mi's bed was big enough for them both. And he nearly had to smother Zhou Mi to keep his laughter from waking up the whole building, which had led to a repeat of a different kind of wrestling entirely.
They named some of the babies after the members who'd teased Kyuhyun about the misunderstanding. But he was pretty sure by then, with Zhou Mi wound around him like a vine, that there'd been no misunderstanding at all.
***
Author: Coley Merrin
Pairing: Zhou Mi/Kyuhyun
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Crack
Summary: When good pets and their owners go bad.
(AKA, Why I Should Not Write Ficlets At Ridiculous Hours)
***
"Kyuhyun is pregnant," Zhou Mi announced quite seriously one day.
The whole of the dorm members that were currently present stared at him. Some were in pajamas. Some were eating. Some were gaping. No one fell to the floor crying in disbelief.
They just stared. Even the pause was pregnant.
And Kyuhyun was almost the only one not there to hear the news.
"Pregnant...with...?" Shindong led with. Anticipation? Disbelief?
"Babies, of course," Zhou Mi said. "We're hoping for at least four or five."
"Four or five babies," Henry clarified, as though he didn't quite understand the language. "At once?"
"They'll be so cute!" Zhou Mi announced, wiggling his hips in joy and pumping his fist once before returning to his room.
"Maybe he's sleepwalking," Sungmin offered, hoping Leeteuk's glazed expression was going to fade.
Kyuhyun just wondered why people were patting him on the shoulder and murmuring congratulations at him when he finally walked in the door. He choked on his ramen when he got congratulated on finally getting it on with Zhou Mi. Zhou Mi had, apparently, told the whole dorm they were doing it.
And they absolutely were not.
Though he kind of wished they were.
Was it a clue? A sign? Zhou Mi telling everyone about their fake sex and hoping for the real thing.
"You told everyone we had sex?" he hissed, sliding onto Zhou Mi's bed. Luckily they were alone in the room, but he wasn't taking any chances in the middle of the night. If they were actually going to get to it, he didn't want anyone interrupting.
"What?" Zhou Mi fumbled for the light. "No! When did I do that?"
"Today! Everyone kept telling me congratulations and insinuating that we were screwing around. Ryeowook said something about babies, but that's not even a good joke. None of us could hide being a guy from each other."
"I didn't tell them anything about us, today...Oh."
"Oh?" Kyuhyun prompted, punching Zhou Mi in the side as the light seemed to dawn on them slowly. "What's oh?"
"I did tell them about babies today," Zhou Mi said. "But... But it was about the gerbil you helped me buy!"
"Your... Then why did they think it was about me? Zhou Mi. Did you name... You named the gerbil Kyuhyun? The girl gerbil?"
"You helped me get her! And she reminded me of you. She bit me at first, and then wouldn't let me put her down."
"Thanks a lot," he breathed. "No wonder everyone kept talking about you knocking me up."
Zhou Mi laughed with some delight, and right then he realized how close they'd gotten. Zhou Mi's face was right there, hair flopping kind of sideways from the way he was laying, and eyes shining with amusement.
"That is as close to pregnant as I ever want to be," he said, gesturing at the sleeping gerbil.
"I think so, too," Zhou Mi said, and pressed his lips to Kyuhyun's cheek, pulling back slowly. "I like you just like you are."
"You didn't tell them like that so this would happen, did you?" he asked the smiling man.
But as Zhou Mi pointed out, they had the room to themselves. And Zhou Mi's bed was big enough for them both. And he nearly had to smother Zhou Mi to keep his laughter from waking up the whole building, which had led to a repeat of a different kind of wrestling entirely.
They named some of the babies after the members who'd teased Kyuhyun about the misunderstanding. But he was pretty sure by then, with Zhou Mi wound around him like a vine, that there'd been no misunderstanding at all.
***