[Fic] Someone Like You - 1/11
Title: Someone Like You
Author: Coley Merrin
Rating: R
Pairings: Henry/Donghae (with Tablo/Eunhyuk)
Genre: AU. Angst. Romance.
Summary: Five years ago, Donghae failed to escape his Uncle Lee's crime organization and disappeared from Henry's life. But when Donghae has to kidnap Henry to keep him safe, it is still Uncle Lee that stands in the way of them ever having a normal life.
This is a follow up to For Always (QMi, SiHan, HenHae). One can be read without the other, but it does include more detail of the HenHae background and story. :)
A/N: Almost a year later... Thanks to everyone who remembered that I meant to do this, and held me to it. <3 "For Always" is one of those stories that has stuck with me, so if you've read this, or come to this new, I hope the ride is worth it. :)
***
Chapter One ** Chapter Two
***
***
Prologue
***
Canada
***
There were some people in the world who just were not good people, and that was all there was to it. And all Henry wanted since he had met Donghae’s Uncle Lee was to get Donghae away from that calculating stare. The fact Donghae had been trapped beneath the man’s thumb out of financial desperation was too much. To have that fear hanging over him for years, when he should have been mourning his father? It was something that followed Donghae still.
So they planned, and planned quickly. Watching the weeks go by after the shooting where Henry worked at the bookstore, Soulmate. That event had nearly taken a life, and had allowed Henry insight into Donghae’s fears. A debt Donghae could not escape, and danger that was not intangible. He had seen Donghae bleeding because of Uncle Lee, just a tiny wound to his head. But it didn’t take much after the shooting to imagine how much more that could have been. If they could just get out of Korea, get away. Maybe Donghae would lose that haunted look. They could finish college, get jobs. Be normal.
Henry sat at the airport in anticipation, watching people file out, searching for Donghae. Donghae had sent him ahead, buying tickets under a different name so that he could follow on a different flight. So that it didn’t look like they have gone together. And Donghae had planned well, not flying to Canada directly, but to several different locations. It had been what, three days? And they had emailed each other something like five or six times a day. Their fingers would get a break, at least. His phone was tight in his hand as he scanned the people filing to the baggage claim. He had checked (three times) that he was in the right place. It wasn’t like he’d never been to this airport. He was home, after all. Bags were starting to come down, and people were retrieving them. And yet still, no sign. He waited until there were only a few bags left to be claimed. Then his phone buzzed.
He jumped to his feet in relief, checking the text from the unfamiliar number.
“Sorry,” it read. “I couldn’t come. I love you, but we can’t see each other any more. Don’t try to find me. Goodbye-- Donghae.”
He stared in disbelief. It was a joke. He pushed the call button, calling the number the text had come from.
“Sorry,” a pleasant recorded voice in Korean said. “This number is no longer in service.”
He called Donghae’s cell, got the same answer. Felt panic begin to rise in his throat. No. No, it was all wrong.
His mother brought his suitcase to the airport, and he left on the next plane out. When he hugged her, he had been close to tears. What did it mean? He didn’t understand. He needed to see Donghae. Needed to straighten this out.
Donghae’s apartment was empty. And all that his landlord had been able to tell him was that the bills had been paid by an older man. The reference address Donghae had given wasn’t real. There was no record of a Lee Donghae having lived anywhere in the city. There were no records of him at the school. The teachers had no school work he had done, no mention of him on their rolls. It seemed they barely remembered having someone by that name in their classes, even though Donghae had been there just as often as Henry himself. They just shook their heads at the picture Henry had shown them from his phone.
It was like he had imagined Donghae out of thin air. But when he had gone to Soulmate, asked if Kyuhyun or Ryeowook had seen Donghae, they had not. But they remembered him. The guy who had mowed Henry over. The one who had eaten up most of Henry’s free time after that. The one he had worried about, asked about. Even if they had no answers for him, it was good to see them. Good to know he wasn’t crazy.
He sat for a week, wondering, checking his phone, the places they had been.
There was one place he hadn’t been, he realized. And he caught the train to the ocean where they had gone, and to the restaurant where the lady had been so nice. And he asked her if she had seen this person, this person that he had only a picture on his cell phone to remind him of. His imagination had not conjured that, at least.
“Oh yes, he was here yesterday,” the woman said eagerly, holding his hand steady so that she could steady the picture. “He left something here, actually. For...Hen-ry?”
He felt a chill go through him. He’d always thought that was kind of fake, getting a chill. Until he experienced it himself. Donghae had been here. Donghae, right here. He could still be right in town. “That’s me.”
He walked out with the envelope, being waved off with a smile, hands shaking as he found a stoop to sit on. Stared at his name in Donghae’s familiar handwriting. What was so awful that Donghae could not email him, text him? Inhaling slowly, he opened it.
“Henry,
If you find this, I know you’re looking for me.
Please don’t.
Do you remember the day I promised I would work toward fixing this?
I am.
I told you I’d do it no matter how long it took. I didn’t expect to have to leave you, but it’s for your own safety. Please believe I wouldn’t if it were anything else.
I never expected to find someone like you. I’ll always love you. I hope you believe that.
Donghae.”
Wrapped in the paper was a picture, of the two of them, hanging onto each other as Donghae had somewhat shakily taken the picture. They had been in Donghae’s apartment, sprawled back on the couch. Probably half out of it from exams or gorging themselves on food. He just knew that the smile on his face had been real, his cheek squished to Donghae’s. And Donghae had his tongue caught between his teeth, grinning and concentrating both as he’d gotten the shot. He had printed it out, Donghae. They looked so happy, together.
Don’t look for me, Donghae had said. But what else could he do?
***
***
Chapter One
***
Five Years Later - Korea
***
Henry’s eyes burned, and he blinked hard, trying to get the grit out of them. It was like waking in a heated, dry room after too long asleep. And his head throbbed with it, a pulsing pain that made him wonder if he was having a stroke or something, but as the panic trickled into him, he realized the bedspread under his cheek was unfamiliar. A mottled brown instead of the ugly flowered thing at the hotel.
Where was he? And why couldn’t he breathe?
“Hold still,” someone said, grabbing at his head.
The shout was stopped in his aching throat as what seemed to be the tape over his mouth was ripped away. He sucked in air, trying to breathe through the pain. It felt like his skin had been stripped. But he could breathe. Even if he didn’t know where he was. He moved his hand experimentally. Not bound, at least. Kidnapped? He’d heard stories of tourists being extorted for money after being kidnapped in foreign countries, but this was Seoul. He couldn’t just be carried out of a hotel in the light of day without someone noticing. He could go to the consulate. Call them. He carried their number in his phone, and on a scrap of paper in his wallet. His passport, was that safe?
“Sorry. No easy way to do that,” the voice apologized, and Henry realized he was talking about the tape again.. “Are you okay? Do you hurt anywhere?”
Just his mouth, he thought bitterly. He squinted up at his rescuer. The light was hazy, or maybe it was just his head. His slowly moistening eyes revealed a straight nose, a strong boned face, surrounded by long, wispy hair. Good looking. Comfortable. So familiar.
“I think I’m okay,” he rasped out.
“Good,” the man said. And smiled.
There was a long moment of disbelief. No, Henry thought. You’ve been hit on the head too hard. It could not be.
“Donghae?” he asked, his voice so quiet, almost breathing the name as though he had never meant to say it at all. He forgot everything in that moment. His head, his eyes. His smarting skin, how to find help. Everything but the man in front of him.
His cheek was touched, warm fingers, rough skin. A touch he had dreamed of for years.
“Hi Henry,” Donghae said softly.
***
Someone Like You
***
The mistakes he had made, Donghae thought. He stared down at the unconscious man, bound, tape covering the soft mouth, a thin trickle of blood at his temple. He had abandoned Henry wanting to protect him, in order to finish this mission of bringing his uncle to justice. And it had brought him to this.
“I threw them out,” Eunhyuk said from the doorway. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you yell at anyone like that. Pretty bad, screwing up a pretty simple kidnapping. Aww, he’s like a little kitten sleeping there. This is the one, then?”
“I dated him for a while,” Donghae said absently, stroking Henry’s pale cheek. “A long time ago. It’s been over for a while.”
“Yeah,” Eunhyuk said from beside his ear, making Donghae swat at him. “Looks like you’re totally over him, man.”
“I never got to say goodbye. Not the right way.”
“You’ve got another chance,” Eunhyuk said, and wisely left him alone.
Did he have another chance? he wondered. Did he deserve one, was more the question. It had been so long since he’d seen Henry in person, waving goodbye to him at the airport. Hoping that he would be able to get away, join him in Canada. But it hadn’t worked out that way. Instead of finding a way to get on the plane, he’d been dragged even deeper into the organization. And Uncle Lee, the man who had been inadvertently responsible for a lot of the things that went wrong at Henry’s workplace, had asked how Henry was doing in Toronto. He’d realized then that even if he had gone to the police, even if the police were doing their best, that he couldn’t escape. Sure, he could move to Australia or Antarctica and try to disappear, but he couldn’t go to Henry. If he did, what he would be was a danger to him. So instead of a plane ticket to Canada, he’d sent a text message and a letter. He knew Henry had gotten the letter, because he’d made sure the next time he’d gone to that little beach town.
That should’ve been the end of it. For Henry’s safety Donghae had asked him to stay away. But he hadn’t. He’d just kept looking for Donghae. All these years. Stupid. They were both stupid.
He leaned down, brushing the tips of their noses together. Was Henry’s mouth just as tempting as it had been? He remembered their first kiss, against the wall of the university hallway, his hands on Henry’s face and kissing him desperately. Until Henry had been kissing back.
Did he taste the same? Did his mouth give and beg?
He sighed, shaking his head. No. He didn’t have that right any more. He settled for pressing his nose to Henry’s cheek. Just to see Henry asleep, well, unconscious really, in his room, it made him remember, made him think too many things were the same. It was like he was young and idealistic and stupid again, that all he had on his mind was dragging Henry out of class and home. Until they almost merged into each other in the sheets of his bed, happiness and lust from them like water overflowing a bowl. He remembered the way Henry’s eyes would blank in pleasure, the timbre of his moans. He remembered the way Henry’s voice softened on his name, the way they could lay together in an exhausted tangle of limbs and feel like there was nothing, absolutely nothing, outside of that moment.
Henry’s laugh, his quick grin, his wide-eyed amazement, the way his mouth bowed in a pout. It had been five years, and all of those thing had haunted him, as often as he would let them invade him consciously. And sometimes unconscious. It wasn’t fair. But neither was it over, nor safe. Having Henry here, dependent on him for safety, was Donghae’s worst nightmare.
Donghae groaned. No. He had never gotten over him.
***
Donghae had gotten the zip ties removed from Henry’s wrists and ankles before he woke, at least. Waking bound when not expecting it he imagined would be an unpleasant feeling at best. Like one of those nightmares where danger was so close and no amount of screaming allowed him to move. He’d had a few of those over the years. A few of them featuring Henry.
He could see the shock in Henry’s eyes when he woke, when he realized that it was Donghae he was seeing. It was like watching a replay, only years later. He reached for the light, switching it on, and the dark eyes closed, face wincing.
“Where am I?” Henry rasped, pushing himself mostly upright. “Why am I here?”
“You’re where I live,” Donghae told him simply. “And you’re here because I had you kidnapped.”
It took a moment to sink in, as Henry accepted the glass of water that Donghae offered. Donghae was very, very careful that their fingers wouldn’t meet, and the glass bobbled between their hands as Henry fully understood. Donghae didn’t really know how else to say it. He’d ordered men to take Henry from his hotel, and they had, against his will. So, he’d had Henry kidnapped, like it or not. Still, Henry took a moment to gulp the liquid, working through it as he glared up at Donghae from lowered brows.
“What?! You kidnapped me? I don’t... What? I haven’t seen you in five years, and you-”
“You were looking for me,” Donghae informed him, voice cool. “And you put yourself in danger to do it. You didn’t leave me any choice.”
Henry’s eyes were guarded, and Donghae tried to determine anything from that look. Anything that he was looking for. Triumph, if this end result had been what Henry wanted. Fear, disgust... Anything. All he saw was blankness, and that was nearly as disturbing as seeing Henry bound had been.
“Did you have to be so rough?” Henry asked, touching his temple where the blood was still smeared. Even the sight of it turned Donghae’s stomach, to know he was the cause of that.
“Believe me, the men who did this got more than one dressing down,” he said, and all but sat on his hands to face Henry. “You’re hardly more danger than a puppy. There was no reason to nearly give you a concussion to get you here.”
Henry’s lips quirked wryly. “Thanks. I think. How are you?”
It was a tentative venture, as though Henry expected his hand to be slapped for asking. Donghae couldn’t blame him. Henry right now was supposed to be not caring how Donghae was. He didn’t really think it was all Henry’s fault. Somehow he’d screwed something up. He’d deliberately not contacted Henry over the years, thinking that the longer time went, the less likely he was to fuel whatever hope Henry might have left. But obviously, he’d failed.
“I was a whole damn lot better before you showed up,” he said, most of the venom directed at himself and not at Henry.
“Then should I get out of your hair for a while?” Henry asked.
“No, you won’t.” When Henry’s eyes flashed, Donghae continued. Because it was too late. “I broke off with you to protect you. Do you understand that? There’s not a person who knows who I am that doesn’t know you’re sitting in my bedroom right now. So no, you won’t get out of my hair. Because you got yourself so damn tangled in it looking for me that it was either bring you here or wait for someone to shoot you. You walk out that door, and I’ve signed your death warrant.”
Henry’s face grew stormier with every sentence that left his mouth. “Why would you care?”
The fake belligerence in that question made him laugh. “Don’t give me that crap, Henry. You want to die? Fine. I’ll tie a bow on the bullet that does it and send it to your mother.”
The danger wasn’t guaranteed, but it was real. He wasn’t in the same position as he had been when Henry had met him. People didn’t see him the same way. Not everyone liked Donghae, and no one wanted some soft-eyed Canadian sniffing around through potentially sensitive activities or places looking for him. He had done everything possible over the course of five years, using his contacts to send Henry on wild goose chases, going so far as to secretly threaten him, and nothing had worked. Every year like clockwork, Henry had come back to Korea and spent weeks searching.
Donghae had thought he had been one of the few who knew at first.
He grabbed the packet he’d kept on the table and tossed it into Henry’s lap. Henry opened it cautiously, face startled as he rifled through the contents. Picture after picture of Henry. Pictures Donghae had just seen for the first time the day before. It seemed Uncle Lee had felt a stake in keeping track of Henry as well. That had been when Donghae had known that leaving Henry out there doing whatever he wanted wasn’t an option any more.
“Your biggest mistake? Going to that whorehouse.” He watched carefully, catching the widening of Henry’s eyes. “Uncle Lee owns that. But I guess you knew that when you went? He keeps pretty close tabs on who comes and goes. So a cute little foreigner is going to raise a flag, and yeah, he knew who you were. That and both times you went back. Imagine his amusement to find out that you chose a skinny girl with short hair, and insisted on calling her Donghae. She told him all about it. You want to wander in back alleys and whorehouses, and still be okay? You should have stayed in Canada.”
Henry set the packet aside, keeping almost admirably calm if it wasn’t for the fact that he nearly spilled all the pictures onto the floor when he bobbled it. It gave Donghae no pleasure to see that he’d upset Henry. Yeah, he kind of wanted to punish him for getting them in this spot, but what could he do, really? They’d have to work back out of it. Again. Besides, he’d had a day to go through every single one of those surveillance photos. He didn’t believe for a minute Henry had gone find himself a whore. He’d gone to find some news of Donghae. That was what Uncle Lee wouldn’t tell him, any details of what Henry had done with those girls. It made him wonder, because Uncle Lee wasn’t one to spare details if he thought they had any chance of hurting someone.
Henry scowled at Donghae’s little chuckle at his expense. “So what, now I’m your prisoner?”
“I’m glad you understand.”
Henry stood, outraged. “You can’t just keep me here! You can’t just steal people and hold them against their will.”
“It’s called kidnapping and people do it all the time,” Donghae answered back, standing as well. “Oh no, it’s illegal, call the press. Door’s got a lock, and no way you’re getting out of the window.”
Henry actually looked around at the small room. “And if there’s a fire? You’re going to leave me to burn?”
“Not unless I plan to. I’m staying with you.”
“The hell you are!”
In defiance, Donghae stretched out on the side of the bed closest to him and tried to hide his smile at the tenacity Henry was showing. It was good, it meant he hadn’t broken. He still had emotions after all this time. “Relax. I’m not going to molest you. I’m tired. I just want to sleep. You should, too. And besides, I thought you were looking for me. Why leave so soon?”
There was an awkward silence. “Things were never innocent between us in bed.”
Donghae exhaled, but kept his eyes closed. “I guess they weren’t. We were more than that though.”
“Yeah. We were. We had things in common. We were friends before we were anything else. I don’t understand. I don’t... Whatever.”
As though he didn’t remember that? Could he forget being curled up on his couch, cheering on some soccer team with Henry’s head in his lap? Stealing kisses in the canned, frigid air of the movie theater? He could not have forgotten, never in a million years, the feel of Henry pressed against him as they rode the train to the beach. Henry’s hands in his as he heard the first, “I love you.” It had felt like he had been living again for the first time since his father’s death, taking and taking from Henry, who was so sweet, so innocent to the things his life had begun spiraling into. Henry had done nothing but give, and he had killed that connection himself.
“We were friends...” he said tightly, but shook his head. “Sleep, Henry. It’ll be okay.”
He had told Henry that once before. It hadn’t been. And when Henry laid down finally, his face was tense, eyes closed as he tried to sleep. Donghae ached to stroke that cheek, to comfort him. Tell him all the good things he had done, and all the things he planned to do. Keep the bad things hidden. Maybe this time the end would be different. Maybe not for them. But before they parted this time, it would all be over. Uncle Lee would have no hold on their lives when it was all done. He had promised himself that.
***
Author: Coley Merrin
Rating: R
Pairings: Henry/Donghae (with Tablo/Eunhyuk)
Genre: AU. Angst. Romance.
Summary: Five years ago, Donghae failed to escape his Uncle Lee's crime organization and disappeared from Henry's life. But when Donghae has to kidnap Henry to keep him safe, it is still Uncle Lee that stands in the way of them ever having a normal life.
This is a follow up to For Always (QMi, SiHan, HenHae). One can be read without the other, but it does include more detail of the HenHae background and story. :)
A/N: Almost a year later... Thanks to everyone who remembered that I meant to do this, and held me to it. <3 "For Always" is one of those stories that has stuck with me, so if you've read this, or come to this new, I hope the ride is worth it. :)
***
Chapter One ** Chapter Two
***
***
Prologue
***
Canada
***
There were some people in the world who just were not good people, and that was all there was to it. And all Henry wanted since he had met Donghae’s Uncle Lee was to get Donghae away from that calculating stare. The fact Donghae had been trapped beneath the man’s thumb out of financial desperation was too much. To have that fear hanging over him for years, when he should have been mourning his father? It was something that followed Donghae still.
So they planned, and planned quickly. Watching the weeks go by after the shooting where Henry worked at the bookstore, Soulmate. That event had nearly taken a life, and had allowed Henry insight into Donghae’s fears. A debt Donghae could not escape, and danger that was not intangible. He had seen Donghae bleeding because of Uncle Lee, just a tiny wound to his head. But it didn’t take much after the shooting to imagine how much more that could have been. If they could just get out of Korea, get away. Maybe Donghae would lose that haunted look. They could finish college, get jobs. Be normal.
Henry sat at the airport in anticipation, watching people file out, searching for Donghae. Donghae had sent him ahead, buying tickets under a different name so that he could follow on a different flight. So that it didn’t look like they have gone together. And Donghae had planned well, not flying to Canada directly, but to several different locations. It had been what, three days? And they had emailed each other something like five or six times a day. Their fingers would get a break, at least. His phone was tight in his hand as he scanned the people filing to the baggage claim. He had checked (three times) that he was in the right place. It wasn’t like he’d never been to this airport. He was home, after all. Bags were starting to come down, and people were retrieving them. And yet still, no sign. He waited until there were only a few bags left to be claimed. Then his phone buzzed.
He jumped to his feet in relief, checking the text from the unfamiliar number.
“Sorry,” it read. “I couldn’t come. I love you, but we can’t see each other any more. Don’t try to find me. Goodbye-- Donghae.”
He stared in disbelief. It was a joke. He pushed the call button, calling the number the text had come from.
“Sorry,” a pleasant recorded voice in Korean said. “This number is no longer in service.”
He called Donghae’s cell, got the same answer. Felt panic begin to rise in his throat. No. No, it was all wrong.
His mother brought his suitcase to the airport, and he left on the next plane out. When he hugged her, he had been close to tears. What did it mean? He didn’t understand. He needed to see Donghae. Needed to straighten this out.
Donghae’s apartment was empty. And all that his landlord had been able to tell him was that the bills had been paid by an older man. The reference address Donghae had given wasn’t real. There was no record of a Lee Donghae having lived anywhere in the city. There were no records of him at the school. The teachers had no school work he had done, no mention of him on their rolls. It seemed they barely remembered having someone by that name in their classes, even though Donghae had been there just as often as Henry himself. They just shook their heads at the picture Henry had shown them from his phone.
It was like he had imagined Donghae out of thin air. But when he had gone to Soulmate, asked if Kyuhyun or Ryeowook had seen Donghae, they had not. But they remembered him. The guy who had mowed Henry over. The one who had eaten up most of Henry’s free time after that. The one he had worried about, asked about. Even if they had no answers for him, it was good to see them. Good to know he wasn’t crazy.
He sat for a week, wondering, checking his phone, the places they had been.
There was one place he hadn’t been, he realized. And he caught the train to the ocean where they had gone, and to the restaurant where the lady had been so nice. And he asked her if she had seen this person, this person that he had only a picture on his cell phone to remind him of. His imagination had not conjured that, at least.
“Oh yes, he was here yesterday,” the woman said eagerly, holding his hand steady so that she could steady the picture. “He left something here, actually. For...Hen-ry?”
He felt a chill go through him. He’d always thought that was kind of fake, getting a chill. Until he experienced it himself. Donghae had been here. Donghae, right here. He could still be right in town. “That’s me.”
He walked out with the envelope, being waved off with a smile, hands shaking as he found a stoop to sit on. Stared at his name in Donghae’s familiar handwriting. What was so awful that Donghae could not email him, text him? Inhaling slowly, he opened it.
“Henry,
If you find this, I know you’re looking for me.
Please don’t.
Do you remember the day I promised I would work toward fixing this?
I am.
I told you I’d do it no matter how long it took. I didn’t expect to have to leave you, but it’s for your own safety. Please believe I wouldn’t if it were anything else.
I never expected to find someone like you. I’ll always love you. I hope you believe that.
Donghae.”
Wrapped in the paper was a picture, of the two of them, hanging onto each other as Donghae had somewhat shakily taken the picture. They had been in Donghae’s apartment, sprawled back on the couch. Probably half out of it from exams or gorging themselves on food. He just knew that the smile on his face had been real, his cheek squished to Donghae’s. And Donghae had his tongue caught between his teeth, grinning and concentrating both as he’d gotten the shot. He had printed it out, Donghae. They looked so happy, together.
Don’t look for me, Donghae had said. But what else could he do?
***
***
Chapter One
***
Five Years Later - Korea
***
Henry’s eyes burned, and he blinked hard, trying to get the grit out of them. It was like waking in a heated, dry room after too long asleep. And his head throbbed with it, a pulsing pain that made him wonder if he was having a stroke or something, but as the panic trickled into him, he realized the bedspread under his cheek was unfamiliar. A mottled brown instead of the ugly flowered thing at the hotel.
Where was he? And why couldn’t he breathe?
“Hold still,” someone said, grabbing at his head.
The shout was stopped in his aching throat as what seemed to be the tape over his mouth was ripped away. He sucked in air, trying to breathe through the pain. It felt like his skin had been stripped. But he could breathe. Even if he didn’t know where he was. He moved his hand experimentally. Not bound, at least. Kidnapped? He’d heard stories of tourists being extorted for money after being kidnapped in foreign countries, but this was Seoul. He couldn’t just be carried out of a hotel in the light of day without someone noticing. He could go to the consulate. Call them. He carried their number in his phone, and on a scrap of paper in his wallet. His passport, was that safe?
“Sorry. No easy way to do that,” the voice apologized, and Henry realized he was talking about the tape again.. “Are you okay? Do you hurt anywhere?”
Just his mouth, he thought bitterly. He squinted up at his rescuer. The light was hazy, or maybe it was just his head. His slowly moistening eyes revealed a straight nose, a strong boned face, surrounded by long, wispy hair. Good looking. Comfortable. So familiar.
“I think I’m okay,” he rasped out.
“Good,” the man said. And smiled.
There was a long moment of disbelief. No, Henry thought. You’ve been hit on the head too hard. It could not be.
“Donghae?” he asked, his voice so quiet, almost breathing the name as though he had never meant to say it at all. He forgot everything in that moment. His head, his eyes. His smarting skin, how to find help. Everything but the man in front of him.
His cheek was touched, warm fingers, rough skin. A touch he had dreamed of for years.
“Hi Henry,” Donghae said softly.
***
Someone Like You
***
The mistakes he had made, Donghae thought. He stared down at the unconscious man, bound, tape covering the soft mouth, a thin trickle of blood at his temple. He had abandoned Henry wanting to protect him, in order to finish this mission of bringing his uncle to justice. And it had brought him to this.
“I threw them out,” Eunhyuk said from the doorway. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you yell at anyone like that. Pretty bad, screwing up a pretty simple kidnapping. Aww, he’s like a little kitten sleeping there. This is the one, then?”
“I dated him for a while,” Donghae said absently, stroking Henry’s pale cheek. “A long time ago. It’s been over for a while.”
“Yeah,” Eunhyuk said from beside his ear, making Donghae swat at him. “Looks like you’re totally over him, man.”
“I never got to say goodbye. Not the right way.”
“You’ve got another chance,” Eunhyuk said, and wisely left him alone.
Did he have another chance? he wondered. Did he deserve one, was more the question. It had been so long since he’d seen Henry in person, waving goodbye to him at the airport. Hoping that he would be able to get away, join him in Canada. But it hadn’t worked out that way. Instead of finding a way to get on the plane, he’d been dragged even deeper into the organization. And Uncle Lee, the man who had been inadvertently responsible for a lot of the things that went wrong at Henry’s workplace, had asked how Henry was doing in Toronto. He’d realized then that even if he had gone to the police, even if the police were doing their best, that he couldn’t escape. Sure, he could move to Australia or Antarctica and try to disappear, but he couldn’t go to Henry. If he did, what he would be was a danger to him. So instead of a plane ticket to Canada, he’d sent a text message and a letter. He knew Henry had gotten the letter, because he’d made sure the next time he’d gone to that little beach town.
That should’ve been the end of it. For Henry’s safety Donghae had asked him to stay away. But he hadn’t. He’d just kept looking for Donghae. All these years. Stupid. They were both stupid.
He leaned down, brushing the tips of their noses together. Was Henry’s mouth just as tempting as it had been? He remembered their first kiss, against the wall of the university hallway, his hands on Henry’s face and kissing him desperately. Until Henry had been kissing back.
Did he taste the same? Did his mouth give and beg?
He sighed, shaking his head. No. He didn’t have that right any more. He settled for pressing his nose to Henry’s cheek. Just to see Henry asleep, well, unconscious really, in his room, it made him remember, made him think too many things were the same. It was like he was young and idealistic and stupid again, that all he had on his mind was dragging Henry out of class and home. Until they almost merged into each other in the sheets of his bed, happiness and lust from them like water overflowing a bowl. He remembered the way Henry’s eyes would blank in pleasure, the timbre of his moans. He remembered the way Henry’s voice softened on his name, the way they could lay together in an exhausted tangle of limbs and feel like there was nothing, absolutely nothing, outside of that moment.
Henry’s laugh, his quick grin, his wide-eyed amazement, the way his mouth bowed in a pout. It had been five years, and all of those thing had haunted him, as often as he would let them invade him consciously. And sometimes unconscious. It wasn’t fair. But neither was it over, nor safe. Having Henry here, dependent on him for safety, was Donghae’s worst nightmare.
Donghae groaned. No. He had never gotten over him.
***
Donghae had gotten the zip ties removed from Henry’s wrists and ankles before he woke, at least. Waking bound when not expecting it he imagined would be an unpleasant feeling at best. Like one of those nightmares where danger was so close and no amount of screaming allowed him to move. He’d had a few of those over the years. A few of them featuring Henry.
He could see the shock in Henry’s eyes when he woke, when he realized that it was Donghae he was seeing. It was like watching a replay, only years later. He reached for the light, switching it on, and the dark eyes closed, face wincing.
“Where am I?” Henry rasped, pushing himself mostly upright. “Why am I here?”
“You’re where I live,” Donghae told him simply. “And you’re here because I had you kidnapped.”
It took a moment to sink in, as Henry accepted the glass of water that Donghae offered. Donghae was very, very careful that their fingers wouldn’t meet, and the glass bobbled between their hands as Henry fully understood. Donghae didn’t really know how else to say it. He’d ordered men to take Henry from his hotel, and they had, against his will. So, he’d had Henry kidnapped, like it or not. Still, Henry took a moment to gulp the liquid, working through it as he glared up at Donghae from lowered brows.
“What?! You kidnapped me? I don’t... What? I haven’t seen you in five years, and you-”
“You were looking for me,” Donghae informed him, voice cool. “And you put yourself in danger to do it. You didn’t leave me any choice.”
Henry’s eyes were guarded, and Donghae tried to determine anything from that look. Anything that he was looking for. Triumph, if this end result had been what Henry wanted. Fear, disgust... Anything. All he saw was blankness, and that was nearly as disturbing as seeing Henry bound had been.
“Did you have to be so rough?” Henry asked, touching his temple where the blood was still smeared. Even the sight of it turned Donghae’s stomach, to know he was the cause of that.
“Believe me, the men who did this got more than one dressing down,” he said, and all but sat on his hands to face Henry. “You’re hardly more danger than a puppy. There was no reason to nearly give you a concussion to get you here.”
Henry’s lips quirked wryly. “Thanks. I think. How are you?”
It was a tentative venture, as though Henry expected his hand to be slapped for asking. Donghae couldn’t blame him. Henry right now was supposed to be not caring how Donghae was. He didn’t really think it was all Henry’s fault. Somehow he’d screwed something up. He’d deliberately not contacted Henry over the years, thinking that the longer time went, the less likely he was to fuel whatever hope Henry might have left. But obviously, he’d failed.
“I was a whole damn lot better before you showed up,” he said, most of the venom directed at himself and not at Henry.
“Then should I get out of your hair for a while?” Henry asked.
“No, you won’t.” When Henry’s eyes flashed, Donghae continued. Because it was too late. “I broke off with you to protect you. Do you understand that? There’s not a person who knows who I am that doesn’t know you’re sitting in my bedroom right now. So no, you won’t get out of my hair. Because you got yourself so damn tangled in it looking for me that it was either bring you here or wait for someone to shoot you. You walk out that door, and I’ve signed your death warrant.”
Henry’s face grew stormier with every sentence that left his mouth. “Why would you care?”
The fake belligerence in that question made him laugh. “Don’t give me that crap, Henry. You want to die? Fine. I’ll tie a bow on the bullet that does it and send it to your mother.”
The danger wasn’t guaranteed, but it was real. He wasn’t in the same position as he had been when Henry had met him. People didn’t see him the same way. Not everyone liked Donghae, and no one wanted some soft-eyed Canadian sniffing around through potentially sensitive activities or places looking for him. He had done everything possible over the course of five years, using his contacts to send Henry on wild goose chases, going so far as to secretly threaten him, and nothing had worked. Every year like clockwork, Henry had come back to Korea and spent weeks searching.
Donghae had thought he had been one of the few who knew at first.
He grabbed the packet he’d kept on the table and tossed it into Henry’s lap. Henry opened it cautiously, face startled as he rifled through the contents. Picture after picture of Henry. Pictures Donghae had just seen for the first time the day before. It seemed Uncle Lee had felt a stake in keeping track of Henry as well. That had been when Donghae had known that leaving Henry out there doing whatever he wanted wasn’t an option any more.
“Your biggest mistake? Going to that whorehouse.” He watched carefully, catching the widening of Henry’s eyes. “Uncle Lee owns that. But I guess you knew that when you went? He keeps pretty close tabs on who comes and goes. So a cute little foreigner is going to raise a flag, and yeah, he knew who you were. That and both times you went back. Imagine his amusement to find out that you chose a skinny girl with short hair, and insisted on calling her Donghae. She told him all about it. You want to wander in back alleys and whorehouses, and still be okay? You should have stayed in Canada.”
Henry set the packet aside, keeping almost admirably calm if it wasn’t for the fact that he nearly spilled all the pictures onto the floor when he bobbled it. It gave Donghae no pleasure to see that he’d upset Henry. Yeah, he kind of wanted to punish him for getting them in this spot, but what could he do, really? They’d have to work back out of it. Again. Besides, he’d had a day to go through every single one of those surveillance photos. He didn’t believe for a minute Henry had gone find himself a whore. He’d gone to find some news of Donghae. That was what Uncle Lee wouldn’t tell him, any details of what Henry had done with those girls. It made him wonder, because Uncle Lee wasn’t one to spare details if he thought they had any chance of hurting someone.
Henry scowled at Donghae’s little chuckle at his expense. “So what, now I’m your prisoner?”
“I’m glad you understand.”
Henry stood, outraged. “You can’t just keep me here! You can’t just steal people and hold them against their will.”
“It’s called kidnapping and people do it all the time,” Donghae answered back, standing as well. “Oh no, it’s illegal, call the press. Door’s got a lock, and no way you’re getting out of the window.”
Henry actually looked around at the small room. “And if there’s a fire? You’re going to leave me to burn?”
“Not unless I plan to. I’m staying with you.”
“The hell you are!”
In defiance, Donghae stretched out on the side of the bed closest to him and tried to hide his smile at the tenacity Henry was showing. It was good, it meant he hadn’t broken. He still had emotions after all this time. “Relax. I’m not going to molest you. I’m tired. I just want to sleep. You should, too. And besides, I thought you were looking for me. Why leave so soon?”
There was an awkward silence. “Things were never innocent between us in bed.”
Donghae exhaled, but kept his eyes closed. “I guess they weren’t. We were more than that though.”
“Yeah. We were. We had things in common. We were friends before we were anything else. I don’t understand. I don’t... Whatever.”
As though he didn’t remember that? Could he forget being curled up on his couch, cheering on some soccer team with Henry’s head in his lap? Stealing kisses in the canned, frigid air of the movie theater? He could not have forgotten, never in a million years, the feel of Henry pressed against him as they rode the train to the beach. Henry’s hands in his as he heard the first, “I love you.” It had felt like he had been living again for the first time since his father’s death, taking and taking from Henry, who was so sweet, so innocent to the things his life had begun spiraling into. Henry had done nothing but give, and he had killed that connection himself.
“We were friends...” he said tightly, but shook his head. “Sleep, Henry. It’ll be okay.”
He had told Henry that once before. It hadn’t been. And when Henry laid down finally, his face was tense, eyes closed as he tried to sleep. Donghae ached to stroke that cheek, to comfort him. Tell him all the good things he had done, and all the things he planned to do. Keep the bad things hidden. Maybe this time the end would be different. Maybe not for them. But before they parted this time, it would all be over. Uncle Lee would have no hold on their lives when it was all done. He had promised himself that.
***