[Fic] Forever - 2/3
Title: Forever
Author: Coley Merrin
Rating: R
Pairings: Zhou Mi/Kyuhyun
Genre: AU, Romance, Angst
This is a follow up to my fic For Always
Summary: Celebrating the anniversary of their first date, a person from Zhou Mi's past threatens to drag them apart...
***
Chapter One ** Chapter Two ** Chapter Three
***
The sounds he made... Deeper than his normal speaking voice in a very pleasant way, moans, quick sounds of pleasure...
They had discussed it once, why it was that his voice did that.
“What, are you expect me to squeal or something?” Zhou Mi asked, skeptically. “'Oh, Kui Xian~!' That’s not really the feeling I get during sex.”
“So you’re saying you’re all man at least part of the time.”
Zhou Mi looked a bit affronted, but leaned in close. “You would know, Kui Xian.”
Hm. Touché.
***
***
“Jinsung?” Zhou Mi said a little awkwardly, finally finding a voice and movement, peeling the man’s arms from around him. “What...”
“Of course! It’s been forever! How are you?” Without waiting for answer, the man’s eyes focused on Kyuhyun. The once-over was blatant and obvious. “And who’s this? You’ve got a boyfriend?”
Boyfriend, was said in a way that put Kyuhyun’s back up. Like they were fifteen and had just graduated to holding hands.
“Yeah,” Zhou Mi said, and reached for Kyuhyun. “But we were going out, so... Nice seeing you.”
Going out? More like going in. They were twenty feet from the restaurant. But Zhou Mi clearly seemed like he wanted to get away.
“Oh no! Please, come into the restaurant and sit. We should catch up! And I want to meet this handsome guy you have.” He held out a hand to Kyuhyun. “Hi, I’m Jinsung.”
“Kyuhyun,” he said, wincing as his hand was gripped.
Kyuhyun was all but jerked away from Zhou Mi, toward the restaurant. “So come sit! I want to hear all about you. Zhou Mi, could you let the waiters know there are more of us? Get some more water too~”
“Kui Xian, I don’t think...” Zhou Mi began, trailing after them.
Kyuhyun shook his head. The quicker this was over, the quicker they would leave. He had some kind of spikes drawn into his arm as the man guided him to the table. Kyuhyun sat opposite of him, choosing that distance for a reason. And the silence stretched.
“Nice weather.” Kyuhyun cursed himself a bit at that, but he didn’t like the sort of predatory way he was being eyed, especially considering That Hug.
Jinsung leaned forward, licking his lips as he stared at Kyuhyun’s face. “Don’t you want to know how I know Zhou Mi?”
“Well,” Kyuhyun began.
“We dated when I was visiting a friend in China,” the man airily continued, as though Kyuhyun hadn’t spoken. “I was sorry to leave since you don’t find guys like that on every street corner.”
Kyuhyun grunted, since what could he say, really? Sorry for your loss? I’ll just step right aside and let you pick up where you left off. Zhou Mi was taking too damn long.
“And we hooked up again when he moved to Korea!” Jinsung exulted, sliding into the chair beside Kyuhyun. “What was that... A year ago? Year and a half?”
Against his will, Kyuhyun felt a chill down his back. Zhou Mi had been visiting a different collection in Korea before he had come to the store. But when they had discussed that early time in Korea, the month or so when Zhou Mi was still sending him letters, there had been no mention of “hooking up” with this man or otherwise.
“If you two are having a little love shack weekend getaway then you must know all the amazing little sounds he makes. Like the one he makes just before he...”
Stand up and walk away, Kyuhyun’s mind told him. Don’t listen to this.
“...and that was his favorite position, can you believe it? Is it the same with you? I’ve always wondered...”
Kyuhyun’s eardrums were going to spontaneously explode in five, four, three...
“And he was just insatiable,” the man said, and laid a very unsubtle hand high on Kyuhyun’s thigh.
“We have to go!” Kyuhyun said, popping to his feet as Zhou Mi returned. “We have an appointment, do you remember?”
“We do?” Zhou Mi asked, bewildered as the waiter with him set down the water glasses.
“Oh, you forgot, too? Well, it was really nice meeting you.” You spiny toed jackass. He reached for Zhou Mi’s hand, “Let’s hurry.”
Zhou Mi said a quick goodbye, and followed after, because when Kyuhyun’s momentum finally stopped as they entered an elevator alone, Zhou Mi was beside him. He was shaking, from rage or disgust or jealousy, he didn’t know what.
Zhou Mi spotted that immediately.
“Are you not feeling okay?” he asked, fussing with Kyuhyun’s collar. But his eyes were suspicious. “Did he say something to you?”
Oh, of course, his mind supplied. Little things about you in bed that I liked to pretend that I was the only who knew. And he didn’t know if it was worse or not, but there had been the things he hadn’t known.
“This weekend was supposed to be for us. Not to have your sexual exploits tossed in my face.”
Zhou Mi was pale, horrified. “He talked to you about that? Who does that?!”
“Apparently you picked a real winner. It’s odd, isn’t it. We finally are able to get away, and your former little flame shows up for a visit.”
“You don’t actually think I had something to do with that, do you Kui Xian?”
Kyuhyun softened slightly as Zhou Mi looked so genuinely concerned. “No. I know you didn’t invite him.”
Having been involved with him was a bad enough crime.
“What else did he tell you?”
“That you hooked up when you came to Korea, and you seemed like a real animal in bed.”
“What?” Zhou Mi asked, dumbfounded. “I don’t understand...”
“I mean that he was taking pleasure describing you taking him from behind. Every time, he said.”
Zhou Mi had stopped looking ill or even concerned and was working his way toward anger.
“Why would someone say that? Why would anyone say that to someone else?”
“At least he stopped short of saying how many orgasms he had in one sitting,” Kyuhyun said a little bitterly. Not really meaning to make it sound like the guy was worse than a catty woman, but yes, damn it, he did mean it that way. To be told something like that, that Zhou Mi’s preferences had been so different, that Zhou Mi had... He swallowed against the lump in his throat. “It’s not the same with us. We...”
“We,” Zhou Mi said imperiously, interrupting him with swiftness and a look near panic in his eye, “are making love. I like to see your face, to be able to kiss you and feel you moan my name against me. I like that connection with you, Kui Xian. And we do switch it up, don’t we? I never thought you were unhappy with it.”
“I wasn’t, until someone pops in to say that, by the way, you used to have totally different tastes.”
“I’m in love with you. I wasn’t in love with him.”
“So you were just screwing around.”
“No!” Zhou Mi moaned. “I had just gotten to Korea and he looked me up. Besides Heechul, he was the only one I knew, and it just...happened. You know I’m not like that. It was before I knew you! We’d called it off weeks before I met you.”
“Why did you call it off?” Kyuhyun asked, cautious.
“He had a boyfriend,” Zhou Mi said. “One he’d been conveniently not telling me about.”
A fact that would have hurt Zhou Mi.
“A real catch, then. Well, you can put your fantasies for a threesome with him on ice, because it’s not happening with me.”
Zhou Mi shuddered against him. “No one’s touching you but me, Kui Xian. And all I want is you.”
Zhou Mi kissed his neck, nuzzling suggestively, and guiding him onto the bed. Kyuhyun tried to go with it for a moment, and groaned.
“I can’t,” he said, pushing Zhou Mi back and feeling a twinge as the smile slid from Zhou Mi’s face. “I have all those images in my head that I just can’t get out.”
“Let’s write over them...”
“I can’t, okay? I just need some time. Just hold me?”
He could feel Zhou Mi’s pout, but he was cradled closer.
“I love you, Kui Xian. I love you so much. You’re everything to me. Please don’t ever forget that.”
They curled tighter around each other, and it was only after Zhou Mi was asleep that Kyuhyun realized that he hadn’t answered back.
“You’re mine now, aren’t you?” he whispered, touching the still cheek. Love wasn’t what he had been expecting. It was messy and strange, joyous and sometimes terrifying, but he had not found a moment where this man and his love had made him regret. He hated that there was even the tiniest crack in the security Zhou Mi had wrapped him in, a nest of the two of them that no one could penetrate. Well, someone had now, and it had come as a bitter shock to him.
He shouldn’t have made Zhou Mi stop. They should have written over the burning images in his head. Zhou Mi wanted him and only him, and not that...that cat.
It seemed needless to wake Zhou Mi now, when he was resting so well.
“I love you,” he told the sleeping man.
They both knew it. He was sure of it.
***
Zhou Mi was up, restless when Kyuhyun woke, and was at his side, kissing him almost immediately.
“Kui Xian... Good morning.”
Zhou Mi was obviously upset, probably about the night before. Having things uneven between them always set Zhou Mi on edge, making him super affectionate when he was trying to mend a gap.
Kyuhyun took Zhou Mi’s hand where it was trying to worm its way against his side. “Why didn’t you ever tell me about him?”
“It’s not something I wanted to remember! Maybe I wasn’t in love with him, but I thought I could trust him. He’d cheated on someone else, with me. Maybe that guy really did love him.”
“I see.” He grunted. That was enough of that. “Look, so we’re skiing this morning, right? We should get ready.”
As he was laying out his clothes, Zhou Mi was making sounds at his suitcase.
“Kui Xian?” Zhou Mi’s voice was odd. “Did I put the cologne in your bag?”
“No? I put it beside your suitcase before we left.”
The entire contents of Zhou Mi’s bag had been spread out before the search was done.
“How could I have forgotten it?” Zhou Mi asked, rummaging as though it would be unearthed in one of his socks.
“It’s okay, don’t worry about it.”
“It’s not okay! We were going to... How could I have forgotten it! That was the thing I was supposed to make sure to pack...”
“It’s all right,” he said, laying a hand on Zhou Mi’s shoulder. “It’s not like I don’t want you without it. Because I do. We’ve done it plenty of times without...”
“That’s not the point!”
Kyuhyun really didn’t know what to tell him as Zhou Mi carefully, if frustratedly, starting packing all of his clothes back.
“I have to go downstairs,” Zhou Mi told him. “Come down when you’re ready, okay?”
“If you just give me a few...”
The door had closed behind Zhou Mi before he could finish his sentence. Kyuhyun frowned at the shirt in his hand. That had been...odd.
***
Zhou Mi wasn’t in sight when he went down, his heavier winter clothes making him start to lightly sweat in the heated interior. He needed to find Zhou Mi right away, so they could get to renting their skis and... Get to doing. He knew Zhou Mi wouldn’t probably make it past the bunny slope, at least today, but he was okay with that. Just getting to do something new with Zhou Mi had been his goal. And they were memories both of them could share.
His stomach lurched as that man emerged from the elevator. Even from a distance, Kyuhyun could see his eyes light up.
“Out for skiing are you?” Jinsung said. “You look nice in that jacket.”
Kyuhyun’s jaw felt like it had pulled up into a rock. There were a hundred biting things he considered saying, but settled on grunting and looking around the lobby for Zhou Mi. He couldn’t call, because Zhou Mi didn’t have his phone with him. Maybe he could feign going back up and shake this annoyance off of his back.
“Looking for Zhou Mi? I hope you don’t think he was looking for me... Oh, you’re sweating.”
Kyuhyun’s head jerked back as the man literally got close enough to smell, a cloth being patted across Kyuhyun’s forehead.
”I’m fine, back off,” was nearly out of his mouth when the elevator dinged and Zhou Mi emerged with his gloves in hand.
He took advantage of Jinsung’s distraction, the coy little “Ooh,” ringing in his ears as he hurried for Zhou Mi.
“Let’s get out of here,” Kyuhyun ground out, not noticing the rather deadly expression Zhou Mi was wearing until the last second.
“You two have fun!” Jinsung called, disappearing into the restaurant.
“What was going on there?” Zhou Mi asked, voice soft.
“Someone hasn’t learned personal space. I was looking for you. Where did you go?”
“I forgot my gloves, so I had to go back. I didn’t expect that he’d be molesting you when I got back down.”
Kyuhyun snorted. Right, molesting. “So you’re ready now?”
“Yeah. Let’s go.”
Zhou Mi was quiet all the way to the rental shop. Quiet and awkward on the ski slope even as Kyuhyun cajoled him, shouting up veiled insults that had never failed to make Zhou Mi smile before. Today, though... Nothing. Just vague dissatisfaction. There had been a tiny laugh as Zhou Mi had gotten down the slope upright and in generally good form.
They tumbled, exhausted, into a pile of loose powder to catch their breath for a moment, and Zhou Mi leaned into him for a particularly desperate kiss. Something was eating at him...
***
“Why was he so close to you this morning?” Zhou Mi asked on the way to their room. They had eaten, skied a little more, and it was late afternoon already. All he wanted was a shower, and maybe a quick tumble on the bed before dinner. Maybe he could wipe that frown from Zhou Mi’s face...
“Close? I think he thought he was helping,” Kyuhyun said, not needing to ask who “he” was. “He’s really weird.”
“Did he talk to you?”
“Stupidly. It was obvious I didn’t want to...”
“What else did you talk about?”
“Nothing important.”
“You need to tell me all he’s told you,” Zhou Mi said, gripping Kyuhyun’s shoulder. “How can I tell you what isn’t the truth if you don’t tell me?”
“I don’t really want to relive it,” Kyuhyun said, shrugging out of the anxious hold and opening the hotel room door for them. “And nothing else I’ve repeated has seemed like a lie, so I don’t...”
“I can’t believe this. Let’s pack up and go home right now. Go anywhere. Someplace that’s not here.”
“You think this is all going to disappear if we go home?”
“At least I know at home that you’re not going to hear some malicious garbage when you walk out our front door," Zhou Mi said carefully. "You look up at the window and see the animals I got you and think of how happy we are, and not how stupid I was in the past. You love me at home. I don’t... I don’t know if you do here.”
“I’m jealous of that knock kneed bastard, okay?” Kyuhyun said bluntly. “I never said I didn’t love you.”
“Do you trust me?”
“What?” Kyuhyun asked, flopping into one of the chairs. Zhou Mi wasn’t going to give up for a while.
“You trust I don’t want him, don’t you? The only person alive I want is you.”
“Right. You don’t ogle those guys in the dramas.”
It was meant as a joke and came off too far on the side of accusation. Zhou Mi’s face was turning red, a clear sign he was working up to something. He crouched in front of Kyuhyun.
“Please, can we go home?” Zhou Mi asked. “Please. I know we have two more days, but I want to go home with you, not alone, and I feel like I’m losing you.”
Zhou Mi pressed his face against Kyuhyun’s stomach, as if he were in supplication.
He rested his hands on Zhou Mi’s head and the words he had inside of himself just wouldn’t come. He lowered his head to Zhou Mi’s, trying to whisper okay, let’s go, when Zhou Mi backed up, popping to his feet.
“You just won’t listen,” Zhou Mi said miserably. “You’ll just stay here until there’s nothing left. You can’t even talk to me! I wish we’d never come.”
Kyuhyun had barely called out his name before the door shut, a locked barrier between them.
***
Kyuhyun wasn’t asleep when Zhou Mi returned, but pensive and nervous, even though he tried to pretend he was asleep. Zhou Mi was not quiet as he readied for bed, actually being a bit loud and fumbly about it.
“‘Know you’re not asleep,” Zhou Mi said slow and carefully as he laid down.
“No,” he replied, and turned over.
And figured out just why Zhou Mi had been louder than usual. He all but reeked of alcohol.
Zhou Mi, as a rule, almost never drank and when he did it was small quantities. He was a notorious lightweight, and hated to be out of control. Kyuhyun could drink him under the table in less time than it took to boil a pot of water.
“What have you been doing?” he asked, appalled that Zhou Mi would have deliberately went and gotten drunk because of their argument.
“Showing you...” Zhou Mi grunted as he kicked his pants onto the floor. “Showing you I know where I’m supposed to come back to even if I’m su...stupid and drunk.”
“You realize how much pain you’re going to be in in the morning? Did you drink any water?”
“Water...”
Zhou Mi trailed off, and Kyuhyun thought that was definitely a no. He sighed and rolled to his feet, filling one of the hotel glasses and pressing it into Zhou Mi’s hands.
“Drink, okay?”
Zhou Mi drank obediently, shoving the glass back at Kyuhyun.
“No more,” he said, sounding a bit wretched.
Kyuhyun slid into bed, and found himself immersed in six feet of terribly drunk male.
“Still want you,” Zhou Mi muttered against his neck.
That was the last thing in Korean he said. He switched into Mandarin and might as well have been speaking Greek for as well as Kyuhyun could understand him. The scent of him, the feel of Zhou Mi’s hands, usually did so much to arouse him, and that night was little different. Even if the kisses were sloppy, the movements ungainly, he could feel Zhou Mi’s desire for him. That was hot in and of itself.
“Mine,” Zhou Mi whispered.
They were just missing the connection that would sort things out by inches, where they could look at each other and know the thoughts running through their heads. It was so close...
All seemed heading in the right direction, when a love bite went wrong. Zhou Mi, drunk, seemed a little less capable of regulating the force of his jaw.
“Ow!” Kyuhyun yelped, pushing at Zhou Mi’s shoulder. Zhou Mi felt back limply as Kyuhyun fumbled for the light. His shoulder was dark pink and reddening, and there was a tiny smear of blood from a tooth too enthusiastically dug into his flesh. Zhou Mi stared blankly at the wound as Kyuhyun stood.
By the time he had rinsed off his shoulder, Zhou Mi had passed out.
He touched the slack cheek.
“You’re so dumb. Why do I love you so much? Probably the same reason you love me.”
He realized, as he fell asleep, that that had probably been the smartest thing he’d said in days.
***
Author: Coley Merrin
Rating: R
Pairings: Zhou Mi/Kyuhyun
Genre: AU, Romance, Angst
This is a follow up to my fic For Always
Summary: Celebrating the anniversary of their first date, a person from Zhou Mi's past threatens to drag them apart...
***
Chapter One ** Chapter Two ** Chapter Three
***
The sounds he made... Deeper than his normal speaking voice in a very pleasant way, moans, quick sounds of pleasure...
They had discussed it once, why it was that his voice did that.
“What, are you expect me to squeal or something?” Zhou Mi asked, skeptically. “'Oh, Kui Xian~!' That’s not really the feeling I get during sex.”
“So you’re saying you’re all man at least part of the time.”
Zhou Mi looked a bit affronted, but leaned in close. “You would know, Kui Xian.”
Hm. Touché.
***
***
“Jinsung?” Zhou Mi said a little awkwardly, finally finding a voice and movement, peeling the man’s arms from around him. “What...”
“Of course! It’s been forever! How are you?” Without waiting for answer, the man’s eyes focused on Kyuhyun. The once-over was blatant and obvious. “And who’s this? You’ve got a boyfriend?”
Boyfriend, was said in a way that put Kyuhyun’s back up. Like they were fifteen and had just graduated to holding hands.
“Yeah,” Zhou Mi said, and reached for Kyuhyun. “But we were going out, so... Nice seeing you.”
Going out? More like going in. They were twenty feet from the restaurant. But Zhou Mi clearly seemed like he wanted to get away.
“Oh no! Please, come into the restaurant and sit. We should catch up! And I want to meet this handsome guy you have.” He held out a hand to Kyuhyun. “Hi, I’m Jinsung.”
“Kyuhyun,” he said, wincing as his hand was gripped.
Kyuhyun was all but jerked away from Zhou Mi, toward the restaurant. “So come sit! I want to hear all about you. Zhou Mi, could you let the waiters know there are more of us? Get some more water too~”
“Kui Xian, I don’t think...” Zhou Mi began, trailing after them.
Kyuhyun shook his head. The quicker this was over, the quicker they would leave. He had some kind of spikes drawn into his arm as the man guided him to the table. Kyuhyun sat opposite of him, choosing that distance for a reason. And the silence stretched.
“Nice weather.” Kyuhyun cursed himself a bit at that, but he didn’t like the sort of predatory way he was being eyed, especially considering That Hug.
Jinsung leaned forward, licking his lips as he stared at Kyuhyun’s face. “Don’t you want to know how I know Zhou Mi?”
“Well,” Kyuhyun began.
“We dated when I was visiting a friend in China,” the man airily continued, as though Kyuhyun hadn’t spoken. “I was sorry to leave since you don’t find guys like that on every street corner.”
Kyuhyun grunted, since what could he say, really? Sorry for your loss? I’ll just step right aside and let you pick up where you left off. Zhou Mi was taking too damn long.
“And we hooked up again when he moved to Korea!” Jinsung exulted, sliding into the chair beside Kyuhyun. “What was that... A year ago? Year and a half?”
Against his will, Kyuhyun felt a chill down his back. Zhou Mi had been visiting a different collection in Korea before he had come to the store. But when they had discussed that early time in Korea, the month or so when Zhou Mi was still sending him letters, there had been no mention of “hooking up” with this man or otherwise.
“If you two are having a little love shack weekend getaway then you must know all the amazing little sounds he makes. Like the one he makes just before he...”
Stand up and walk away, Kyuhyun’s mind told him. Don’t listen to this.
“...and that was his favorite position, can you believe it? Is it the same with you? I’ve always wondered...”
Kyuhyun’s eardrums were going to spontaneously explode in five, four, three...
“And he was just insatiable,” the man said, and laid a very unsubtle hand high on Kyuhyun’s thigh.
“We have to go!” Kyuhyun said, popping to his feet as Zhou Mi returned. “We have an appointment, do you remember?”
“We do?” Zhou Mi asked, bewildered as the waiter with him set down the water glasses.
“Oh, you forgot, too? Well, it was really nice meeting you.” You spiny toed jackass. He reached for Zhou Mi’s hand, “Let’s hurry.”
Zhou Mi said a quick goodbye, and followed after, because when Kyuhyun’s momentum finally stopped as they entered an elevator alone, Zhou Mi was beside him. He was shaking, from rage or disgust or jealousy, he didn’t know what.
Zhou Mi spotted that immediately.
“Are you not feeling okay?” he asked, fussing with Kyuhyun’s collar. But his eyes were suspicious. “Did he say something to you?”
Oh, of course, his mind supplied. Little things about you in bed that I liked to pretend that I was the only who knew. And he didn’t know if it was worse or not, but there had been the things he hadn’t known.
“This weekend was supposed to be for us. Not to have your sexual exploits tossed in my face.”
Zhou Mi was pale, horrified. “He talked to you about that? Who does that?!”
“Apparently you picked a real winner. It’s odd, isn’t it. We finally are able to get away, and your former little flame shows up for a visit.”
“You don’t actually think I had something to do with that, do you Kui Xian?”
Kyuhyun softened slightly as Zhou Mi looked so genuinely concerned. “No. I know you didn’t invite him.”
Having been involved with him was a bad enough crime.
“What else did he tell you?”
“That you hooked up when you came to Korea, and you seemed like a real animal in bed.”
“What?” Zhou Mi asked, dumbfounded. “I don’t understand...”
“I mean that he was taking pleasure describing you taking him from behind. Every time, he said.”
Zhou Mi had stopped looking ill or even concerned and was working his way toward anger.
“Why would someone say that? Why would anyone say that to someone else?”
“At least he stopped short of saying how many orgasms he had in one sitting,” Kyuhyun said a little bitterly. Not really meaning to make it sound like the guy was worse than a catty woman, but yes, damn it, he did mean it that way. To be told something like that, that Zhou Mi’s preferences had been so different, that Zhou Mi had... He swallowed against the lump in his throat. “It’s not the same with us. We...”
“We,” Zhou Mi said imperiously, interrupting him with swiftness and a look near panic in his eye, “are making love. I like to see your face, to be able to kiss you and feel you moan my name against me. I like that connection with you, Kui Xian. And we do switch it up, don’t we? I never thought you were unhappy with it.”
“I wasn’t, until someone pops in to say that, by the way, you used to have totally different tastes.”
“I’m in love with you. I wasn’t in love with him.”
“So you were just screwing around.”
“No!” Zhou Mi moaned. “I had just gotten to Korea and he looked me up. Besides Heechul, he was the only one I knew, and it just...happened. You know I’m not like that. It was before I knew you! We’d called it off weeks before I met you.”
“Why did you call it off?” Kyuhyun asked, cautious.
“He had a boyfriend,” Zhou Mi said. “One he’d been conveniently not telling me about.”
A fact that would have hurt Zhou Mi.
“A real catch, then. Well, you can put your fantasies for a threesome with him on ice, because it’s not happening with me.”
Zhou Mi shuddered against him. “No one’s touching you but me, Kui Xian. And all I want is you.”
Zhou Mi kissed his neck, nuzzling suggestively, and guiding him onto the bed. Kyuhyun tried to go with it for a moment, and groaned.
“I can’t,” he said, pushing Zhou Mi back and feeling a twinge as the smile slid from Zhou Mi’s face. “I have all those images in my head that I just can’t get out.”
“Let’s write over them...”
“I can’t, okay? I just need some time. Just hold me?”
He could feel Zhou Mi’s pout, but he was cradled closer.
“I love you, Kui Xian. I love you so much. You’re everything to me. Please don’t ever forget that.”
They curled tighter around each other, and it was only after Zhou Mi was asleep that Kyuhyun realized that he hadn’t answered back.
“You’re mine now, aren’t you?” he whispered, touching the still cheek. Love wasn’t what he had been expecting. It was messy and strange, joyous and sometimes terrifying, but he had not found a moment where this man and his love had made him regret. He hated that there was even the tiniest crack in the security Zhou Mi had wrapped him in, a nest of the two of them that no one could penetrate. Well, someone had now, and it had come as a bitter shock to him.
He shouldn’t have made Zhou Mi stop. They should have written over the burning images in his head. Zhou Mi wanted him and only him, and not that...that cat.
It seemed needless to wake Zhou Mi now, when he was resting so well.
“I love you,” he told the sleeping man.
They both knew it. He was sure of it.
***
Zhou Mi was up, restless when Kyuhyun woke, and was at his side, kissing him almost immediately.
“Kui Xian... Good morning.”
Zhou Mi was obviously upset, probably about the night before. Having things uneven between them always set Zhou Mi on edge, making him super affectionate when he was trying to mend a gap.
Kyuhyun took Zhou Mi’s hand where it was trying to worm its way against his side. “Why didn’t you ever tell me about him?”
“It’s not something I wanted to remember! Maybe I wasn’t in love with him, but I thought I could trust him. He’d cheated on someone else, with me. Maybe that guy really did love him.”
“I see.” He grunted. That was enough of that. “Look, so we’re skiing this morning, right? We should get ready.”
As he was laying out his clothes, Zhou Mi was making sounds at his suitcase.
“Kui Xian?” Zhou Mi’s voice was odd. “Did I put the cologne in your bag?”
“No? I put it beside your suitcase before we left.”
The entire contents of Zhou Mi’s bag had been spread out before the search was done.
“How could I have forgotten it?” Zhou Mi asked, rummaging as though it would be unearthed in one of his socks.
“It’s okay, don’t worry about it.”
“It’s not okay! We were going to... How could I have forgotten it! That was the thing I was supposed to make sure to pack...”
“It’s all right,” he said, laying a hand on Zhou Mi’s shoulder. “It’s not like I don’t want you without it. Because I do. We’ve done it plenty of times without...”
“That’s not the point!”
Kyuhyun really didn’t know what to tell him as Zhou Mi carefully, if frustratedly, starting packing all of his clothes back.
“I have to go downstairs,” Zhou Mi told him. “Come down when you’re ready, okay?”
“If you just give me a few...”
The door had closed behind Zhou Mi before he could finish his sentence. Kyuhyun frowned at the shirt in his hand. That had been...odd.
***
Zhou Mi wasn’t in sight when he went down, his heavier winter clothes making him start to lightly sweat in the heated interior. He needed to find Zhou Mi right away, so they could get to renting their skis and... Get to doing. He knew Zhou Mi wouldn’t probably make it past the bunny slope, at least today, but he was okay with that. Just getting to do something new with Zhou Mi had been his goal. And they were memories both of them could share.
His stomach lurched as that man emerged from the elevator. Even from a distance, Kyuhyun could see his eyes light up.
“Out for skiing are you?” Jinsung said. “You look nice in that jacket.”
Kyuhyun’s jaw felt like it had pulled up into a rock. There were a hundred biting things he considered saying, but settled on grunting and looking around the lobby for Zhou Mi. He couldn’t call, because Zhou Mi didn’t have his phone with him. Maybe he could feign going back up and shake this annoyance off of his back.
“Looking for Zhou Mi? I hope you don’t think he was looking for me... Oh, you’re sweating.”
Kyuhyun’s head jerked back as the man literally got close enough to smell, a cloth being patted across Kyuhyun’s forehead.
”I’m fine, back off,” was nearly out of his mouth when the elevator dinged and Zhou Mi emerged with his gloves in hand.
He took advantage of Jinsung’s distraction, the coy little “Ooh,” ringing in his ears as he hurried for Zhou Mi.
“Let’s get out of here,” Kyuhyun ground out, not noticing the rather deadly expression Zhou Mi was wearing until the last second.
“You two have fun!” Jinsung called, disappearing into the restaurant.
“What was going on there?” Zhou Mi asked, voice soft.
“Someone hasn’t learned personal space. I was looking for you. Where did you go?”
“I forgot my gloves, so I had to go back. I didn’t expect that he’d be molesting you when I got back down.”
Kyuhyun snorted. Right, molesting. “So you’re ready now?”
“Yeah. Let’s go.”
Zhou Mi was quiet all the way to the rental shop. Quiet and awkward on the ski slope even as Kyuhyun cajoled him, shouting up veiled insults that had never failed to make Zhou Mi smile before. Today, though... Nothing. Just vague dissatisfaction. There had been a tiny laugh as Zhou Mi had gotten down the slope upright and in generally good form.
They tumbled, exhausted, into a pile of loose powder to catch their breath for a moment, and Zhou Mi leaned into him for a particularly desperate kiss. Something was eating at him...
***
“Why was he so close to you this morning?” Zhou Mi asked on the way to their room. They had eaten, skied a little more, and it was late afternoon already. All he wanted was a shower, and maybe a quick tumble on the bed before dinner. Maybe he could wipe that frown from Zhou Mi’s face...
“Close? I think he thought he was helping,” Kyuhyun said, not needing to ask who “he” was. “He’s really weird.”
“Did he talk to you?”
“Stupidly. It was obvious I didn’t want to...”
“What else did you talk about?”
“Nothing important.”
“You need to tell me all he’s told you,” Zhou Mi said, gripping Kyuhyun’s shoulder. “How can I tell you what isn’t the truth if you don’t tell me?”
“I don’t really want to relive it,” Kyuhyun said, shrugging out of the anxious hold and opening the hotel room door for them. “And nothing else I’ve repeated has seemed like a lie, so I don’t...”
“I can’t believe this. Let’s pack up and go home right now. Go anywhere. Someplace that’s not here.”
“You think this is all going to disappear if we go home?”
“At least I know at home that you’re not going to hear some malicious garbage when you walk out our front door," Zhou Mi said carefully. "You look up at the window and see the animals I got you and think of how happy we are, and not how stupid I was in the past. You love me at home. I don’t... I don’t know if you do here.”
“I’m jealous of that knock kneed bastard, okay?” Kyuhyun said bluntly. “I never said I didn’t love you.”
“Do you trust me?”
“What?” Kyuhyun asked, flopping into one of the chairs. Zhou Mi wasn’t going to give up for a while.
“You trust I don’t want him, don’t you? The only person alive I want is you.”
“Right. You don’t ogle those guys in the dramas.”
It was meant as a joke and came off too far on the side of accusation. Zhou Mi’s face was turning red, a clear sign he was working up to something. He crouched in front of Kyuhyun.
“Please, can we go home?” Zhou Mi asked. “Please. I know we have two more days, but I want to go home with you, not alone, and I feel like I’m losing you.”
Zhou Mi pressed his face against Kyuhyun’s stomach, as if he were in supplication.
He rested his hands on Zhou Mi’s head and the words he had inside of himself just wouldn’t come. He lowered his head to Zhou Mi’s, trying to whisper okay, let’s go, when Zhou Mi backed up, popping to his feet.
“You just won’t listen,” Zhou Mi said miserably. “You’ll just stay here until there’s nothing left. You can’t even talk to me! I wish we’d never come.”
Kyuhyun had barely called out his name before the door shut, a locked barrier between them.
***
Kyuhyun wasn’t asleep when Zhou Mi returned, but pensive and nervous, even though he tried to pretend he was asleep. Zhou Mi was not quiet as he readied for bed, actually being a bit loud and fumbly about it.
“‘Know you’re not asleep,” Zhou Mi said slow and carefully as he laid down.
“No,” he replied, and turned over.
And figured out just why Zhou Mi had been louder than usual. He all but reeked of alcohol.
Zhou Mi, as a rule, almost never drank and when he did it was small quantities. He was a notorious lightweight, and hated to be out of control. Kyuhyun could drink him under the table in less time than it took to boil a pot of water.
“What have you been doing?” he asked, appalled that Zhou Mi would have deliberately went and gotten drunk because of their argument.
“Showing you...” Zhou Mi grunted as he kicked his pants onto the floor. “Showing you I know where I’m supposed to come back to even if I’m su...stupid and drunk.”
“You realize how much pain you’re going to be in in the morning? Did you drink any water?”
“Water...”
Zhou Mi trailed off, and Kyuhyun thought that was definitely a no. He sighed and rolled to his feet, filling one of the hotel glasses and pressing it into Zhou Mi’s hands.
“Drink, okay?”
Zhou Mi drank obediently, shoving the glass back at Kyuhyun.
“No more,” he said, sounding a bit wretched.
Kyuhyun slid into bed, and found himself immersed in six feet of terribly drunk male.
“Still want you,” Zhou Mi muttered against his neck.
That was the last thing in Korean he said. He switched into Mandarin and might as well have been speaking Greek for as well as Kyuhyun could understand him. The scent of him, the feel of Zhou Mi’s hands, usually did so much to arouse him, and that night was little different. Even if the kisses were sloppy, the movements ungainly, he could feel Zhou Mi’s desire for him. That was hot in and of itself.
“Mine,” Zhou Mi whispered.
They were just missing the connection that would sort things out by inches, where they could look at each other and know the thoughts running through their heads. It was so close...
All seemed heading in the right direction, when a love bite went wrong. Zhou Mi, drunk, seemed a little less capable of regulating the force of his jaw.
“Ow!” Kyuhyun yelped, pushing at Zhou Mi’s shoulder. Zhou Mi felt back limply as Kyuhyun fumbled for the light. His shoulder was dark pink and reddening, and there was a tiny smear of blood from a tooth too enthusiastically dug into his flesh. Zhou Mi stared blankly at the wound as Kyuhyun stood.
By the time he had rinsed off his shoulder, Zhou Mi had passed out.
He touched the slack cheek.
“You’re so dumb. Why do I love you so much? Probably the same reason you love me.”
He realized, as he fell asleep, that that had probably been the smartest thing he’d said in days.
***