[Fic] Super Junior - G - Miracles/What Is and Could Be/Smoke
Title: Miracles/What Is and Could Be/Smoke
Pairing: Hankyung/Siwon
Rating: G
Summary: Three short ficlets, cleaning out before launch of fic of doom. _-_
I cannot guarantee my sanity for the writing of any of them... Coherency? What is that?
Miracles
***
He joked internally sometimes that he did not have two arms, but four. Two of his own, and two of Siwon’s that were inevitably somewhere near. Sometimes he thought that Siwon was not chosen for his popularity, his looks, or his knowledge of Chinese. But that some deity that had seen every trial he had been through in his whole life had suddenly smiled and said, this will be hard, but it’s okay… You have Siwon.
He looked back and he imagined it. The cities, the press, the appearances and shows. He imaged that instead of seven, there had been six, because it did no one justice to try and replace that spot with someone else. What a solemn group he saw. The difference in language quieted them… Though Ryeowook and Kyuhyun were never very loud to begin with. Oh, Zhou Mi had shone, but he had still been finding his place. He imagined spinning wildly out of control, filling silences, doing anything, everything to show why people should pay attention to them
But Siwon had been there. Siwon, his hands, and his laughter, and his voice. It hadn’t always been phrased correctly, and sometimes whatever response it was had made him want to hide under a chair or die laughing. But it was there. And not just for him. When his brain wouldn’t shut off at night, those moments were the ones he went over until looks of consternation, curiosity, or glee chased him into sleep.
The thing about it was, Siwon knew. The small struggles, the huge gaping fears. Knew sometimes without him every saying anything out loud. Sometimes he barely had to look up before Siwon’s brows furrowed and a hand reached for his. It was like Siwon ate up his trouble through osmosis. The heavily-laid arm around his shoulders should have tired him, dragged him down, but for those moments, the rattling cage stopped, the water calmed. The problems never went away; Siwon was so far unable to work miracles. But that might have depended on who you asked, and what your definition of a miracle was.
***
What Is and Could Be
***
Clandestine, it was not, he thought. The PD of the day had been a little stressed, a little snappish. Siwon had been there, of course. For that he would have been there, his hand tightening on Hankyung’s waist at the frustrated tone and quick dismissal.
“I don’t think that was necessary,” Siwon said with disapproval.
“Are you going to beat him up for me?” he asked quietly, turning his head so he could share the humor with Siwon.
“Just say the word.”
He let his back rest against Siwon’s chest, and the hand squeezed again. Support. Acknowledgement. Brotherhood. Friendship.
And if it were more than that? If all the sly glances, the knowing smiles and lingering touches were code, a sort of love letter, what would the message be? What would he be thinking? Such a good man, such a find. How lucky was he? A little strange sometimes, but the dimples really made up for all that. He chuckled suddenly and Siwon hmmed in his ear wondering what the joke was.
Oddly, when he thought of it, “more” was not that much different than what already “was.”
***
Smoke
***
The floor was hard beneath his knees. How long had he been there? An hour? Three hours? More? His head was bowed, elbows tight against the edge of the bed. To anyone watching, it might have looked as though he were praying. But he wasn’t. Pleading, perhaps. But not praying.
The bed rocked slightly, and a whisper of sound as stocking feet slid slowly out along the boards and the quiet sigh. He turned his head, seeing Hankyung’s profile in the dim light from the window as his head reclined on the mattress.
How long had he been like this? Long enough… Long enough to know that he’d be found.
Hankyung turned his face toward Siwon, the shadows hard upon it. But he could see everything he needed. With no light at all, he could have seen. It was a silly thought, and his head bowed again.
“Is there something wrong? Is there something I can do?”
Hankyung had turned today, laughing at some ridiculous thing that had tripped out of Siwon’s mouth, and his face had been so close and bright that it had given Siwon no choice but to open his eyes wider to drink it all in. It hadn’t been him praying then, it had been his heart, sending up little puffs of smoke, gray and blue and red, that smelled of Hankyung, and laughed like Hankyung, and spoke softly like Hankyung. It made him a little shaky inside. He had gotten used to muffling those little prayers. Either he had gotten slower, or his heart had gotten stronger… It wasn’t really a question of which, as he had seen the smile in Hankyung’s eyes. It was like trying to catch a gorilla when all one had was a throw rug.
There was a little bit of peace in that.
“What is it about love that makes people crazy?”
There was a startled little laugh. “What?”
“People asking things of people, unable to accept the way things are. I mean, what would you give up for love?”
“For that incomparable love?”
“If they asked you to give up China?”
Hankyung thought a long moment, but smiled. He could hear it in his voice. “The one I love would not ask me to.”
“What if…”
“I would never be asked,” Hankyung said firmly. “There are some things I don’t think I can change on my own…who I love... The sand is always with the sea, and the shadow with the moon. That’s what I want.”
“Then you have a lot of faith.”
“Don’t you? Were you… praying?”
“No. I’d prayed already. I was waiting until I got my request. Thankfully you got here.”
“So you were kneeling on the cold floor in the middle of winter because…?”
Siwon stood, knees aching, feeling the popping, the stretches, as his body protested. The joke of who was the old one now was written all over Hankyung’s face as he extended a hand to help pull the other man to his feet. He kept Hankyung’s hand in his own. There was a stupid smile fixed on his face for all the world, Hankyung, to see.
“While waiting for your request to arrive, it would be best to stay in the position that it was sent from, don’t you think?”
Hankyung’s mouth made a little bow of surprise.
“Did you know,” Siwon continued, “that when I sit in the dark, I think of you? Sometimes, I think of you all the time. That’s a little like the sand with the sea.”
Then he mumbled something about gorillas and throw rugs, and Hankyung’s face clearly indicated that he thought he had lost the thread of the conversation.
But that was okay. Hankyung’s confused look sent as many smoke signals to Siwon’s brain as his smile did.
Hankyung had come to him. There was no bigger answer than that. Perhaps it was time to let Hankyung in on the secret. To reach the moon, he thought, brushing Hankyung’s cheek with his fingers, they would need quite a lot of smoke.
Pairing: Hankyung/Siwon
Rating: G
Summary: Three short ficlets, cleaning out before launch of fic of doom. _-_
I cannot guarantee my sanity for the writing of any of them... Coherency? What is that?
Miracles
***
He joked internally sometimes that he did not have two arms, but four. Two of his own, and two of Siwon’s that were inevitably somewhere near. Sometimes he thought that Siwon was not chosen for his popularity, his looks, or his knowledge of Chinese. But that some deity that had seen every trial he had been through in his whole life had suddenly smiled and said, this will be hard, but it’s okay… You have Siwon.
He looked back and he imagined it. The cities, the press, the appearances and shows. He imaged that instead of seven, there had been six, because it did no one justice to try and replace that spot with someone else. What a solemn group he saw. The difference in language quieted them… Though Ryeowook and Kyuhyun were never very loud to begin with. Oh, Zhou Mi had shone, but he had still been finding his place. He imagined spinning wildly out of control, filling silences, doing anything, everything to show why people should pay attention to them
But Siwon had been there. Siwon, his hands, and his laughter, and his voice. It hadn’t always been phrased correctly, and sometimes whatever response it was had made him want to hide under a chair or die laughing. But it was there. And not just for him. When his brain wouldn’t shut off at night, those moments were the ones he went over until looks of consternation, curiosity, or glee chased him into sleep.
The thing about it was, Siwon knew. The small struggles, the huge gaping fears. Knew sometimes without him every saying anything out loud. Sometimes he barely had to look up before Siwon’s brows furrowed and a hand reached for his. It was like Siwon ate up his trouble through osmosis. The heavily-laid arm around his shoulders should have tired him, dragged him down, but for those moments, the rattling cage stopped, the water calmed. The problems never went away; Siwon was so far unable to work miracles. But that might have depended on who you asked, and what your definition of a miracle was.
***
What Is and Could Be
***
Clandestine, it was not, he thought. The PD of the day had been a little stressed, a little snappish. Siwon had been there, of course. For that he would have been there, his hand tightening on Hankyung’s waist at the frustrated tone and quick dismissal.
“I don’t think that was necessary,” Siwon said with disapproval.
“Are you going to beat him up for me?” he asked quietly, turning his head so he could share the humor with Siwon.
“Just say the word.”
He let his back rest against Siwon’s chest, and the hand squeezed again. Support. Acknowledgement. Brotherhood. Friendship.
And if it were more than that? If all the sly glances, the knowing smiles and lingering touches were code, a sort of love letter, what would the message be? What would he be thinking? Such a good man, such a find. How lucky was he? A little strange sometimes, but the dimples really made up for all that. He chuckled suddenly and Siwon hmmed in his ear wondering what the joke was.
Oddly, when he thought of it, “more” was not that much different than what already “was.”
***
Smoke
***
The floor was hard beneath his knees. How long had he been there? An hour? Three hours? More? His head was bowed, elbows tight against the edge of the bed. To anyone watching, it might have looked as though he were praying. But he wasn’t. Pleading, perhaps. But not praying.
The bed rocked slightly, and a whisper of sound as stocking feet slid slowly out along the boards and the quiet sigh. He turned his head, seeing Hankyung’s profile in the dim light from the window as his head reclined on the mattress.
How long had he been like this? Long enough… Long enough to know that he’d be found.
Hankyung turned his face toward Siwon, the shadows hard upon it. But he could see everything he needed. With no light at all, he could have seen. It was a silly thought, and his head bowed again.
“Is there something wrong? Is there something I can do?”
Hankyung had turned today, laughing at some ridiculous thing that had tripped out of Siwon’s mouth, and his face had been so close and bright that it had given Siwon no choice but to open his eyes wider to drink it all in. It hadn’t been him praying then, it had been his heart, sending up little puffs of smoke, gray and blue and red, that smelled of Hankyung, and laughed like Hankyung, and spoke softly like Hankyung. It made him a little shaky inside. He had gotten used to muffling those little prayers. Either he had gotten slower, or his heart had gotten stronger… It wasn’t really a question of which, as he had seen the smile in Hankyung’s eyes. It was like trying to catch a gorilla when all one had was a throw rug.
There was a little bit of peace in that.
“What is it about love that makes people crazy?”
There was a startled little laugh. “What?”
“People asking things of people, unable to accept the way things are. I mean, what would you give up for love?”
“For that incomparable love?”
“If they asked you to give up China?”
Hankyung thought a long moment, but smiled. He could hear it in his voice. “The one I love would not ask me to.”
“What if…”
“I would never be asked,” Hankyung said firmly. “There are some things I don’t think I can change on my own…who I love... The sand is always with the sea, and the shadow with the moon. That’s what I want.”
“Then you have a lot of faith.”
“Don’t you? Were you… praying?”
“No. I’d prayed already. I was waiting until I got my request. Thankfully you got here.”
“So you were kneeling on the cold floor in the middle of winter because…?”
Siwon stood, knees aching, feeling the popping, the stretches, as his body protested. The joke of who was the old one now was written all over Hankyung’s face as he extended a hand to help pull the other man to his feet. He kept Hankyung’s hand in his own. There was a stupid smile fixed on his face for all the world, Hankyung, to see.
“While waiting for your request to arrive, it would be best to stay in the position that it was sent from, don’t you think?”
Hankyung’s mouth made a little bow of surprise.
“Did you know,” Siwon continued, “that when I sit in the dark, I think of you? Sometimes, I think of you all the time. That’s a little like the sand with the sea.”
Then he mumbled something about gorillas and throw rugs, and Hankyung’s face clearly indicated that he thought he had lost the thread of the conversation.
But that was okay. Hankyung’s confused look sent as many smoke signals to Siwon’s brain as his smile did.
Hankyung had come to him. There was no bigger answer than that. Perhaps it was time to let Hankyung in on the secret. To reach the moon, he thought, brushing Hankyung’s cheek with his fingers, they would need quite a lot of smoke.