Just another entry...
“Good things come to those who wait.” However, what are the good things. And how do you know that you have to wait for something good. My mind has been on overload lately, and I’ve wanted to do a journal entry but I just couldn’t get anything out. But tonight is the night that I’m going to give it a try and see what happens.
First off, I wonder why certain things even happen. I’ve always said that everything happens for a reason. But if you really thing about something that has happened, then you try to figure out why it happened and what actually came from it, is the outcome good or bad. Why do we meet the people we meet? Because of all the events that I went to, I’ve met a lot of people. Some of them I don’t even talk to anymore. Some of the people I guess I can say I really didn’t even meet. A couple of sentences were exchanged and that may have been it. What was the purpose of that if all things happen for a reason. Was a down and talking to a person cheered me up? Or perhaps maybe the other person was feeling down and I helped brighten their day. Then I wonder about the people that I met and I still keep in contact with. And those are some of the people that I consider to be some of my closet friends. But the some of them, don’t even make sense any more.
Thinking that everything happens for a reason is a bright way to look at things. But sometimes I wonder if that’s just something that we say just to make ourselves feel better. I don’t know, and I personally don’t even understand it anymore. The more I think about people and the relationships that people have with each other. What never was, what was and what will be, it just really make me mad. I really don’t understand anything when it comes to relationships anymore. I used to make entries to about relationships and what I thought about them, but now I just find my self even more in the dark.
The next thing I can’t understand is why things keep me awake at night. This is something that bothers me and there’s usually nothing I can do about it, except maybe pop some benadryl or nightquil. The past sever nights I’ve found my self laying in bed just things about what I wrote tonight, but in more detailed thinking, certain people and things, situations. I want to go to sleep, but it’s like the past won’t let me. The weird thing is, I feel as if I know what is going to happen, but it won’t, at least not soon. So the whole “Good things come to those who wait,” idea comes into play. What if you’re quite aware of the good thing, the waiting sucks right. Right, and most people would agree. You want it right then and right now. What if what you want was right in your grasps and it slips away for a while or taken away because the time wasn’t right. That kills me, and it’s something I’ll never understand. Sometimes life has a way of kicking everyone in the ass, but perhaps it’s just a jumpstart for us to think bigger, better, and realize that what we have, really isn’t that bad at all. So instead of looking at what should be (or what you feel should be) look at what you have and be happy for it. Then maybe, just maybe when the time is right… then the good things will really come for those who understand what it’s like to not have what we want.
The stars I can’t see anymore, because the clouded image that I look through will not allow it. The thought of it is sad; the stars may always stay behind these clouds that dampen their light. But that is not the truth, for with time the clouds will move away and the moon will give light to our path, the path that we are supposed to follow. The path that will lead us together…
I need Christmas break to come, I really miss the country and the quiet. The sounds of loud gangster rap in the hallways, Nextel walkie-talkie phones and the constant smell of cigarettes gets to a person. I just want to be able to get back to the feeling of knowing that I can be alone when I want to be, just be by myself with no interruptions.
It’s bound to happen someday…
First off, I wonder why certain things even happen. I’ve always said that everything happens for a reason. But if you really thing about something that has happened, then you try to figure out why it happened and what actually came from it, is the outcome good or bad. Why do we meet the people we meet? Because of all the events that I went to, I’ve met a lot of people. Some of them I don’t even talk to anymore. Some of the people I guess I can say I really didn’t even meet. A couple of sentences were exchanged and that may have been it. What was the purpose of that if all things happen for a reason. Was a down and talking to a person cheered me up? Or perhaps maybe the other person was feeling down and I helped brighten their day. Then I wonder about the people that I met and I still keep in contact with. And those are some of the people that I consider to be some of my closet friends. But the some of them, don’t even make sense any more.
Thinking that everything happens for a reason is a bright way to look at things. But sometimes I wonder if that’s just something that we say just to make ourselves feel better. I don’t know, and I personally don’t even understand it anymore. The more I think about people and the relationships that people have with each other. What never was, what was and what will be, it just really make me mad. I really don’t understand anything when it comes to relationships anymore. I used to make entries to about relationships and what I thought about them, but now I just find my self even more in the dark.
The next thing I can’t understand is why things keep me awake at night. This is something that bothers me and there’s usually nothing I can do about it, except maybe pop some benadryl or nightquil. The past sever nights I’ve found my self laying in bed just things about what I wrote tonight, but in more detailed thinking, certain people and things, situations. I want to go to sleep, but it’s like the past won’t let me. The weird thing is, I feel as if I know what is going to happen, but it won’t, at least not soon. So the whole “Good things come to those who wait,” idea comes into play. What if you’re quite aware of the good thing, the waiting sucks right. Right, and most people would agree. You want it right then and right now. What if what you want was right in your grasps and it slips away for a while or taken away because the time wasn’t right. That kills me, and it’s something I’ll never understand. Sometimes life has a way of kicking everyone in the ass, but perhaps it’s just a jumpstart for us to think bigger, better, and realize that what we have, really isn’t that bad at all. So instead of looking at what should be (or what you feel should be) look at what you have and be happy for it. Then maybe, just maybe when the time is right… then the good things will really come for those who understand what it’s like to not have what we want.
The stars I can’t see anymore, because the clouded image that I look through will not allow it. The thought of it is sad; the stars may always stay behind these clouds that dampen their light. But that is not the truth, for with time the clouds will move away and the moon will give light to our path, the path that we are supposed to follow. The path that will lead us together…
I need Christmas break to come, I really miss the country and the quiet. The sounds of loud gangster rap in the hallways, Nextel walkie-talkie phones and the constant smell of cigarettes gets to a person. I just want to be able to get back to the feeling of knowing that I can be alone when I want to be, just be by myself with no interruptions.
It’s bound to happen someday…