(no subject)
I've been called fickle. A lot. It's frustrating to cling to something so fragile, feeling myself slowly building up against the hurt, shutting something off which I have no desire to let go of, knowing that I'm doing it again against my will. I don't want to let go but I think I already have. There was a moment today where I did what I had to do for myself and I knew that I lost something in the process. Just choosing between my fragile thing and a whisper of something steadier makes me question myself. Nobody gets too close to me these days. These days I cut everyone off at a certain point and don't look back. I've learned not to trust anyone, least of all myself. Maybe I am fickle. Maybe I'm just discontent.