Overwhelmed...
I suddenly feel like I have way to much going on in my social life. And I don't even mean this in a "oh poor me, I'm just too popular" kind of way. I just mean way too much has been going on in my interpersonal life. I often feel guilty now because the position I'm in of being pseudo-bitchy to this odd guy who is way too enthusiastic about wanting to be my friend. Everyone just ignores him and I feel bad. It reminds me a lot of a couple past situations in high school. I just got this fear that anyone can be reading my Live Journal, especially since my user name isn't especially discreet and also I have a link to it on my FaceBook profile. Wouldn't it be creepy if people that I'm making a point not to actually name are reading this entry? It could happen, especially with stalker types. Also, this girl I really like as a friend seems to be getting the wrong impression from me. I wish there was an easy way to get your point across without being blunt. Last night I was asked by my next door neighbors who are good friends with my roommate if I wanted to go to the Laugh Factory comedy club on Friday night. Apparently, it's like free admission on Friday. It caught be off guard because I never hang out with them and I don't know if they were asking me to go with them or just telling me about the free admission. Maybe it's a hall thing I don't know. Then I just found out that my posse's trip to the gay dance club Tiger Heat, which we were planning to go to on Thursday night for the release party of Mariah Carey's new CD, has changed to Friday night because some people can't go on Thursday. Walking back from class, I also found out that my friend Alexis wants to take me to her sorority invite on Saturday because her other date bailed out at the last minute. I also am trying to get together sometime this weekend for a datish thing with someone. The main thing plaguing my mind right now is actually a misunderstanding/argument/discussion I had with my mom on Sunday night. It's really not good to get into deep emotionally-charged phone conversations with a parent who is half a country away. I hate it because after you hang up, you feel like you didn't get to say everything you wanted to. Also, you don't want to talk to them for a while. I wrote her a letter about stuff, which helped get stuff off my chest, and had it rush delivered. This was Sunday night. We usually talk really often but I haven't called home since that night. This is only the third day of not talking to my family, but for me that's actually a fairly long time. Right now I'm playing the game of waiting for them to call me, which can be stressful. It's like I want them to call so I can be more upset with them and stuff, but I don't want to call them. I also feel ignored by the fact they haven't called me. I wrote stuff in the letter which my mom needs to respond to and I know she has gotten it by now. Oh well. All these things are giving me lots of emotional stress. The fact that the semester is almost over sparks a mixed reaction from me. I know the summer will have less stress, academically and otherwise. Yet, it will be weird leaving campus for three months and not seeing everyone. Living at home with family for three months also seems like way too long. Ahhhhhhh!!!