I should go to bed
It’s five minutes past four on a Tuesday morning. Maybe a little (some time?) later by the time I write and post this entry.
Things, as they stand now at this early hour of the morning, are not particularly good. I am writing, yet again (I probably should be concentrating on the book instead of slash), reading Wikipedia (UC Berkeley- I started with James Hetfield; best not to ask) and in general wondering are things right at all, when I have lectures at 2.30pm today, I don’t finish til 5 and I really should be in bed right now. All hail Red Bull.
Besides all this, I am wondering. Not a particularly good thing to note at any given time as some are scared as to what I will come up with. However, what I am thinking has kicked me in my non-existent balls and set me off down the path marked “Wondering Wanderers.” Always a bit of a troubled path to take depending on who you are and what you want to do but sometimes it can lead you into genius.
I know that American colleges and universities are notoriously difficult to get into, even if you are American. However, I feel it would be far enough away from here- not only from here, but also from people and places I would rather forget. I have no idea what the hell has brought this on- maybe I should stop reading the Berkeley articles on Wikipedia, perhaps? Not that that would do much good… why am I training to become a journalist? The answer to that question at this moment in time? I truly don’t know right now. Living here means that religion and politics really come into it.
I have wanderlust and the thing is that there are places I’ve never been that I really want to go and see, like Berkeley, San Francisco, The East Bay and Warsaw, to mention a few. I need to get the hell away from this country and the fuck away from people that know me- if they’re from home, some of them I do not want to know.
I need to get the fuck away. Period. I’m sick of this country. I’m sick of the way religion and/or politics comes into every little fucking thing in journalism. I’m just sick of here. I’m sick of some people.
This is not a good crisis to be having only a month into the course but fuck me, I can’t quit now because where else would I go; what else would I do? I’ve been up all night thinking about these things, particularly the dislike that I seem to have for here at the moment and what the hell do I do?
I really wish I was anywhere but here right now.