Chrissy And All of Her Glorious Titles Have Spoken
A/N: Sequel to "Bears, Eat Your Heart Out, Chrissy, The Baby Girl with Many Glorious Titles Is Trying To Arrive. Apparently, So Is Everyone Else.
"Lights! Sound! Costumes! Make-up! Camera! Action!" Chrissy with all of her glorious titles spoke with her distinct English voice.
The cameras turned on to reveal seven speakers sitting at the purple Planetary Broadcasting Corporation's newsdesk sitting seven inches apart wearing seven different colors, seven different style shirts, and seven different collars having seven different personalities and representing seven different cities.
Blinky blinked seven times and wore a light teal long-sleeved button-down shirt with a gold chain collar. He wore round-framed glasses. He represented Ocala, Florgia, United Emirates of Chinta.
Count Vanilla growled 63 times and wore an off-white polo shirt with a pocket on the left side of his chest with a silver chain around his neck. He wore square-framed glasses. He represented The Fountain of Youth City of Georgia.
Banana Ice rolled his eyes fully in the back of his head before he spoke, "I'm Banana Ice, the submissive husband of Abigail Ice and son of Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas, the beautiful lady sitting next to me. I'm truly honored to be next to her and in front of you broadcasting, and... translating Count Vanilla's growls that translate Blinky's blinks. My mother will speak French." He removed his lip piercings to make it easier for us to understand him. He still had that same mohawk and wore the same black collar with the bananas hanging off of it, a sleek black long-sleeved button-down shirt with a banana yellow collar. He represented Graytown, Georgia, United States of America that is still America.
"WHAT?! YOU'RE MARRIED TO MY DAUGHTER?!" Bruce Ice shouted as he turned toward Banana Ice. "Nobody fuckin' informed me!" He was wearing a silver and blue tye dye blazer with a white button-down shirt, a pale blue tie, and a thick gold chain down his neck. He represented Athenia, Glorgia, United Emirates of Chinta.
"Oh yeah. That's going to be discussed in a later broadcast," Banana Ice said as he looked at Bruce Ice.
"Well, we should have prepared that AHEAD of time! How the hell am I going to concentrate? I have questions goddammit!" Bruce Ice shouted as he hammer fisted the desk with his right paw.
"Ay, merci, Bruce Ice, ay. Some of us would like to introduce ourselves. You sort of cut me off, as you say. Do you mind?!" Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas asked in her heavy French accent as she narrowed her brownish hazel eyes that had heavy mascara on the lashes at him. When wasn't that woman picture-perfect? She wore a pure white pearl necklace, a blue blouse with brownish gold speckles on it, and her sapphire wedding ring on the ring finger of her left paw. Her fur was brushed to perfection. She represented France.
"ABSOLUTELY! BUT THE SHOW MUST GO ON! Back to you, Gloria Balalalala-lalalalalas," Bruce Ice tried to say.
"Lala lala lala lalalas," Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas corrected him. "Ay. You English-speaking bears drive me crazy, I swear. But yes, I am Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas, wife of Skipper Balalalalalalalalalas and mother of Francesca Asiago Cheese, Victoria Filetmignon, and... Banana Ice? When did my son change his name to that monstrosity? This is news to me, Banana Ice," she said as she yanked a few of his ear rings with her right paw and stared at the camera.
"Yeeeeeooooooooow! That's in a later story as well, Mother Dearest," Banana Ice said as he winced in pain. "Ooooowwwww!!!" He gently rubbed his left paw to gently ease her paw off of his ear.
"THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN DISCUSSED AHEAD OF TIME!" Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas and Bruce Ice yelled as they stared daggers at Banana Ice.
"Sorry! We didn't have time until now! I'm sorry. I'm sorry," Banana Ice said to them with wide eyes before he turned back to the camera. "Besides, there are much more pressing matters to discuss than my existence right now."
"Very true," Bruce Ice said before he cleared his throat. "Hello, PBC viewers, I am Bruce Ice, husband of Megara Ice, daughter of Abigail Ice and three other female cubs that shall not be named because they are minors. This is a no-minor broadcast!"
Blinky, Count Vanilla, Banana Ice, Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas, Prince Oliver: Werewolf of the United Planets, and a new golden bear named Penn made growls and nods of agreement.
"I COULD NOT AGREE MORE! NO MINORS SHALL EVER PARTICIPATE IN THE PLANETARY BROADCASTING CORPORATION NEWS REPORTS EVER. IT WILL BE RARE THAT THEY ARE EVEN FEATURED, MUCH LESS TELLING NEWS ON THIS ESTEEMED NETWORK. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. NOW WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, I FINALLY GET TO SAY MY PEACE. It only took a DAY. The hell is wrong with this planet?! I'm Prince Oliver, Werewolf of the United Planets formerly known as Prince. Ahahahaha! No really. "Purple Rain" was my song. Some asshole from America stole my song. Bastard." Prince Oliver: Werewolf of the United Planets was wearing only a black tie and a black spiked color. He represented the Greek region of Hades.
Blinky, Count Vanilla, Banana Ice, Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas, Bruce Ice, Penn, Chrissy, and all of her glorious titles chuckled.
"Ahem. I was formerly known as Prince Oliver, Werewolf of London, but as you all know, if you watch this network AT ALL, London is literally burning in Hell right now. That's why a bunch of my crew and I, no seriously, I stuffed over 10,000 of us on that spaceship. When we all exited the ship, it looked like a multitude of clowns coming out of a car. It was RIDICULOUS!" His greenish gray eyes and mouth were wide as he spoke.
"I can vogue for that," Chrissy, babybaby said on a separate green screen as she wore a black and white maid outfit, a black collar with a gold bell in the front, black fishnet stockings, and black high heels. Her black and gray fur was brushed perfectly.
The green screen showed the footage of her, 44 wolf puppies, Master wearing a black and silver fox fur, EliEli: Mistress of the United Planets, Catman, Stan Doe, the entire cast of the PeeWee Herman show, 300 assorted cats, 400 dalmatians, 500 other assorted dogs, 600 goats, 700 sheep, the Chinaman from the pranking soundboard, the Vietman from the pranking soundboard, an android popularly known as Mark Fuckerberg, Max Headroom, 209 fat bears of all colors, and countless clowns, including Ronald McDonald and Pennywise the Dancing Clown, burst from that ship. How did they fit?
"Excuse me. I normally wear a black wig to further accentuate my head, but it's entirely too fucking hot on this planet for that shit right now. Summer everywhere in the last few galaxies has been ABSOLUTELY BARBARIC!" Chrissy, babydoll with all glorious titles spoke as she stared directly at the camera with her kaleidoscopic greenish yellowish hazel eyes.
Blinky, Count Vanilla, Banana Ice, Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas, Bruce Ice, and Penn laughed and nodded with agreement.
"Hahahahahaha!!!! All right. Hello Everybody, as if the news isn't crazy enough without the first bit of news we heard today, I'm Penn with Off Grid Desert Farming with Penn and Alexia doing a GUEST appearance on the Planetary Broadcasting Corporation news network to explain what is actually going on behind the jab, mandates, checkpoints, and why these space ass... aliens are pushing it so hard among all the planets," Penn spoke with his southern accent. He was a golden bear with serious blue eyes. His fur was brushed perfectly as well. He looked to be the same age as Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas, but in reality, she was much older. (She looked much younger than she was and gave that trait to all of her children.) He was wearing a navy blue shirt and his platinum wedding ring.
Penn continued to speak, "Sorry about delaying our news report on August 11, 2021 until now. The powers that be were downloading contact-tracing software to everyone's electrical devices. They are used to track and control jabbed people. They are also used as weapons against you if they decide to make it self-destruct in T minus five seconds. The jabbed are automatically being downloaded into. The patent number that has been downloaded into their brains is 060606. The jabbed are now (encrypted voice done by Chrissy, Encrypting Genius saying Five GEEGEEGEE) repeater towers. They are the temples made without hands. But SO ARE YOU. The Creator made the unjabbed without hands. More news will come on this topic. Please watch my news broadcasts on the 900 Club, Stumble.cahm, BiteChew.cahm, and Facefail.cahm. Thank you for listening."
"Yes. Thank you for sharing, Penn. Finally, some useful stuff this morning," Prince Oliver: Werewolf of the United Planets.
Blinky blinked. Count Vanilla growled Penn's message in his own words and spoke Penn's references verbatim in bear growl language to the bears.
"You have the choice on which side you take. I, personally, like to watch sports for hours, sing the American National Anthem, drive Captain America's speedboat, fly in my Batbearmobile, read books about everything including religious texts... from all sides. I personally like to debunk the arguments of all pastors on TV.... except Penn. Penn is solid. He is speaking correctly on the Federal Emergency Medical Assimilations news and what they are doing to us PATRIOTS!" Banana Ice grabbed the desk tightly with his paws and leaned forward for a moment before he sat back down and began to speak calmly. "Also, Austria Australia have cracked down on the unjabbed and stripping their rights away as they speak."
Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas translated Banana Ice's message in French. She added more, and Bruce and Banana Ice worked together to translate her message.
"In France, they are looking for the unjabbed and are trying to silence them with blowdarts," Bruce Ice said.
"League of Legends is a true story. Teemo, Trastana, and Lala are among us. They are shooting the (encrypted voice done by Chrissy, Encrypting Genius saying PLAGUE MEDICINE) and I mean that in the most sarcastic way. They are inhuman. They are (encrypted voice done by Chrissy, Encrypting Genius saying Communal Toilets)," Banana Ice said.
"No one wants to hear the Truth," Penn said. "People are talking about the CDPCP Captain Planet American shielding that separates the jabbed from the unjabbed. They're real. They're coming and coming fast! This is not a joke. This is real. I repeat. This is real. Banana Ice said correctly that Austria Australia has started to crack down on us unjabbed. They have come door-to-door asking for papers just like the Germans did to the (encrypted voice by Chrissy, Encrypting Genius saying JuJubes) back in the 1940s on Earth and God Knows Where Else. Then if you don't have papers, they take you away to some throwaway galaxy where no one can find you."
"IT'S UNAMERICAN! IT'S UNCONSTITUTIONAL! PATRIOTS MUST RESIST!" Blinky, Count Vanilla, Banana Ice, and Bruce Ice shouted.
Bears shouted in the background.
Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas spoke wildly in French. She spoke in English. "I'm just a messenger! I did not write these news!"
Penn spoke, "Read John 3:16. Read Psalm 91! That's what will save you! Stay strong. Do not get jabbed. Humble yourself. You know better than to take the (encrypted voice done by Chrissy, Encrypting Genius saying PLAGUE MEDICINE)! Amen!"
The screen switched to Chrissy and her glorious titles. A screen was scrolling with her titles. "Thank you, Penn, Banana and Bruce Ice, Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas, whoa! That name should be a title! Count Vanilla, Blinky, and last but not least, Prince Oliver, Werewolf of the United Planets for your news today. More will come after this short break."
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A video of Chrissy, her glorious titles, and her 46 wolf pups playing played for five minutes as an intermission. It was still entirely too fucking hot for her to wear the wig.
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The camera then showed Chrissy, submissively and dutifully our reporter standing in front of a photo of Mars still without her wig.
"Hello Everybody, as I am forced to say on every broadcast in case you aren't informed, I'm Chrissy, babybaby, baby baby hit me baby one more time, not Aguilera. Ugh. My glorious title changes every minute, I swear. My Dom is a cruel jokester. But," Chrissy.... spoke before she started. "Let us get on with our next broadcast. Jaybird, a floating head on Mars-"
Banana Ice was beginning to crack up. Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas elbowed him hard with her right elbow.
"Ahem, yes," Chrissy, babybaby space reporter on live television said before she was trying not to laugh. "Jayhead from Mars would like to tell us about a new and upcoming screenplay author who is a lot like me, not he or it but maybe something in between. Jayhead! Excuse me Jaybird, how are you doing?"
Jaybird's bald floating face with thin brown eyebrows, hazel eyes, a distinct nose, and small lips was staring at us in front of a giant intergalactic "solar system" green screen. "I'm great. Thank you, Chrissy-," Jaybird said with a Cleveland, Ohio accent.
At this point, Bruce Ice busted up laughing. Banana Ice had completely lost it and started to hyperventilate while laughing. He was falling out of his chair. Count Vanilla stared at the camera and looked disturbed. Blinky looked confused and wanted to know what happened to the rest of Jaybird's body. Penn was smiling and suppressing laughter.
"Excuse me. What's so funny? I haven't even told the story yet," Jaybird asked.
Chrissy, baby master of laughter suppression said with a grin, "Excuse me, Banana and Bruce Ice! Do you MIND? Some of us..." she said as she involuntarily giggled. "Would like to hear the news today. Could you please be quiet?"
Banana Ice was rolling on the floor while his chest heaved as he laughed. He was wearing black dress pants and those godawful ridiculous banana rocket shoes. It's dangerous to only spend a minute shopping for new shoes. The shoes were firing off and making him scoot across the floor. Bruce Ice was falling out of his chair laughing. Penn was throwing his head back and laughing. Blinky and Count Vanilla were laughing hysterically as they watched Banana Ice jet across the floor as he laughed. Prince Oliver, Werewolf of the United Planets was laughing sheerly out of disbelief.
Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas was trying to talk over the laughter. "This is why you don't wear rocket shoes in a news broadcast. What a mockery of news journalism. Or was that his point?" Even she was trying not to laugh.
"I have no idea," Chrissy, baby giggles said as she was giggling. "I think that clip's going viral."
Jaybird's floating head was hysterically laughing. "Wow! That's the embodiment of space right there! Sci-Fi, eat your heart out. And here I thought robots writing movie scripts was hilarious. Shoot, the best form of entertainment is buying your children rocket shoes and making them laugh hysterically to see what happens."
Chrissy, baby mama giggles stickles crackalacka cracked up. "Yes. Wolf pups with rocket shoes flying around would be something," she said with more laughter. "Whoever he bought those shoes from is going to have a massive increase in sales."
Banana Ice was trying to calm down and turn his shoes off. "Sorry! I just don't understand what's going on right now."
"Does anybody?" Chrissy, babybaby with more questions than answers asked.
"I doubt it, but this upcoming AI script-" Jaybird was trying to say before he was rudely interrupted by Banana Ice's continued laughter and scooting across the floor with rocket shoes.
Seriously, why the fuck did he buy those?
"I need to mute that screen. I can't report like this," Chrissy baby drama queen said as she walked off the set for a second. "Zachary Girrafinakis, mute screen 1 please!"
Zachary Giraffinakis, my newly hired slave who happened to be good at working cameras, looked exactly like the American actor Zach Gallifinakis. But he was behind the scenes and was born and raised on the Green Planet. We really do live in an alternate reality. I allowed Chrissy, babywolfgirl bitch mama news reporter with 46 hungry pups to borrow him for this breaking news report. Zachary Giraffinakis kindly muted the screen.
But Banana Ice was mute laughing and trying to shut off his shoes with not much success. Bruce Ice was beating the desk and heaving with mute laughter. Blinky was crying as he blink-laughed. Count Vanilla was mute growling and mute laughing. Penn was wiping his eyes while mute laughing.
Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas was mute speaking. The closed caption said, "You have to excuse my son. His brain is malfunctioning. I don't know why it happened. He got that faulty brain mechanic from his papa."
Prince Oliver, Werewolf of the United Planets was mute laughing and wiping his eyes with his tie.
"Thank you, Zachary Giraffinakis, now we can continue this news broadcast. I'm telling you. Today's broadcast alone has been one big news blooper. It goes to show that the events of the multiverse truly have begun to mock the multiverse itself. Perplexing," Chrissy, amused babygirl newscaster spoke.
"Yes. Truly. And the AI movie script writer actually touches on that," Jaybird said with a chuckle. "Excuse me. I'm still trying to get over a ridiculous-looking bear scooting... hahaha across the floor with rocket shoes. I mean, who wears rocket shoes to a press conference? That's a great screenplay idea for the AI script writer! Haha! I have no idea if he wrote one like that yet."
"No idea," Chrissy, babygirl Wolf Mama still in disbelief said. "I don't think I'm ever going to get over this traumatic experience." She was giggling.
"Me neither. Someone has GOT to make a Sci-Fi movie with malfunctioning rocket shoes during a news broadcast. If you're watching this Bouregard, you need to calibrate the transcripts from this broadcast and MAKE THAT INTO A MOVIE!" Jaybird said with laughter.
"How would he do that?" Chrissy, perplexed babywolfmama asked.
"Well, it all started with Ross Godwing, who collaborated with Oscar the Grouch to come up with this Artifical Intelligence Unit, sort of like Spock from Star Trek, that could write scripts using an algorithm that pools lines from all Sci-Fi scripts that have ever even been thought of. One day, they sat near a computer, the AI unit was computing a script by putting its head through the computer screen. After about five minutes, the AI unit took its head out of the screen and spat out a script for an hour and a half long Sci-Fi movie. The movie was called Moonfall," Jaybird answered.
The screen then showed a poster with a space background with a large white moon in the center and rainbow-colored 1960s style font saying "Moonfall." Two brown bears were on either side of a small female red bear. They all wore white space helmets and gray spacesuits.
"Moonfall is about a... very strange space station that has three bears in it who are trying to survive. They are in a disjointed love triangle. The first male bear is named B, and he has green eyes that are crossed the whole time. He is the leader of the group. The female bear is named X, and she has gray dead eyes. She spends all of her title in front of a computer that talks to her in gibberish. The other male bear is slightly smaller and is named Ib, and his eyes are all black. He speaks mostly in gibberish. His favorite line is 'I want to stick my head in a telephone socket.'," Jaybird continued.
Chrissy, curious babywolfmama, nodded and spoke, "That sounds advanced for an AI unit. And that is very eye-opening to see the result of years of Sci-Fi script writing. And a lot of the best stuff comes from 60 years ago. I'll be daaaamned."
"Yes. When the Sesame street crew got together and read the script, they pissed themselves laughing," Jaybird said.
"I can imagine. Would you like to play some clips from the movie?" Chrissy, curious babywolfmamallama asked.
"Why sure!" Jaybird said before he spat out some film.
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Moonfall (2021), Act 2 - Holy TIHS, bro!!!!
Some Sci-Fi rap music was playing in the background, and the main computer was spitting out lyrics.
"I don't give a fuck. I'm rich, bitch.
Three pods and a ship. I'm rich bitch.
Hit the bar and blow it up. I'm slick, bitch.
I don't give a fuck."
Then the song "Intergalactic Fanatic Scholastic" by Peter Whitey Parker and the Floating Clowns started to play. (It sounds like "Intergalactic" by Beastie Boys.)
While the computer spit out these lyrics,
"Intergalactic, planetary, planetary, intergalactic
Intergalactic, planetary, planetary, intergalactic
Intergalactic, planetary, planetary, intergalactic
Intergalactic, planetary, planetary, intergalactic
A new born dimension, a new born dimension
A new born dimension, a new born dimension
A new born dimension, a new born dimension
A new born dimension, a new born dimension
A new born dimension, a new born dimension
A new born dimension"
"COMMA!" B shouted in a high-pitched nasally voice.
B and Ib started to dance wildly while shaking their fat bear asses on camera. B kept sticking his tongue in and out and poking himself in the stomach. There was text above B's head that said, "Yes. These are stage directions. I told this mother f%$#^@ to do it."
Ib started shaking wildly and yelled in a deep baritone voice similar to yoitssteve on Twitch.TV, "Radio Mania! Radio Mania!"
Then the computer imitated Peter Whitey Parker's voice verbatim. It sang while it showed Peter's face on the screen.
"Don't you tell me now to well smile
I'll make you stick it around worth your while
Beyond my numbers what you can dial
It's because maybe we're so versatile
Style, profile, I say
It back brings always me when I hear, "ooh, child!"
From Savannah River out to the Nile
I grind the marathon to the very last mile
Well, if you fondle me I feel reviled
People always sayin' my body is wild
Got you gall, got you guile
Walk with me I'm a grape-o-phile."
Clowns, Ib, B, X, and Peter danced.
Then the signal got interrupted.
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"Whoa! What the hell?!" Jaybird shouted.
"The transmission's been interrupted. What in the world is going on?!" Babywolfgirl Chrissy asked dramatically.
Banana Ice was mute-screaming. Count Vanilla was straightening his fur rapidly. Blinky was squirting eyedrops in his eyes. Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas was quickly redoing her make-up. Prince Oliver: Werewolf of the United Planets was gulping and staring at the camera as though he had seen a ghost. Penn was reading the King James Version of the Bible.
And Bruce Ice was mute-speaking and smiling. His closed caption said, "Thank Whoever interrupted that transmission. That was the worst movie I ever had the displeasure of seeing in my life."
Master then appeared on a screen by himself. He was dressed to the nines in fox furs and wolf tails. His aquamarine eyes, strong nose, full lips, and strong chin showed through his layers. Then he spoke in his deep voice, "Excuse the interruption, Chrissy, sub of many glorious titles. If I didn't know better, I would ask if you were a switch instead. But my point is, I need to announce that the Florida News Agency is no longer trendy."
"You are absolutely correct, Master. Thank you for the interruption," Chrissy, sub of many glorious titles said. "I'm as submissive as it gets, Master. I guarantee you that."
"I am well aware. Also, a fur gathering is occurring tomorrow at midnight. Be there, or be the Florida News Agency!" Master said with a chuckle.
Bruce Ice nodded, mute-laughed, and mute-spoke. His closed caption was, "Will do. I have thousands of dollars worth of furs to present at the event."
"Zachary Giraffinakis, please unmute that screen," Chrissy, sub of many glorious titles said.
"Yes ma'am," he said as he unmuted the screen.
"Only thousands, Bruce Ice? Really? I have like a whole case worth of furs. I have spent tens of thousands on furs. You don't know brown bear privilege," Banana Ice said.
"He is correct. Banana Ice... I can't with this *ridiculous* name, my dear son, is the most entitled, spoiled, and submissive subby cubby in every galaxy. I'm his mother. I can vogue for that, but as I'm saying this, I don't know whether to be proud or ashamed," Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas spoke as she visibly shrugged.
Blinky, Count Vanilla, and Banana Ice shrugged. Bruce Ice scratched his head and looked at her with a puzzled look.
"Definitely proud. His title should be Prince Banana Ice," Prince Oliver: Werewolf of the United Planets stated.
"Ashamed. The Lord doesn't award those who were spoiled here in this life. He values hard workers," Penn said.
"Actually. He's both," Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas said flatly to Penn.
"Can you explain that to us, please?" Penn asked. "I'm very confused right now."
"Oui. While my husband and I are extremely wealthy, we definitely trained my son to be inquisitive and read as much as possible. We also instilled the value of having a lot of physical activity through rigorous training. He also was taught to be specialized in his craft," Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas said.
Prince Banana Ice smiled at the camera.
"Someone put a crown on his head, please," Chrissy, sub of many glorious titles said.
"As a matter of fact, find a crown for Queen Gloria as well," Master spoke. "After all, a prince is not a prince without a queen."
"That is absolutely correct, Master," Chrissy, sub of many glorious titles said.
"Hold the phone. If Prince Banana Ice and Queen Gloria exist, then technically Abigail Ice should be Princess Abigail Ice, Megara Ice should be Queen Megara Ice, and I should be King Bruce Ice," King Bruce Ice said.
"THAT IS A BRILLIANT OBSERVATION," Master and Chrissy spoke at the same time.
"Everyone. Our news anchors are now all royalty. We have Squire Blinky, Count Vanilla, Prince Banana Ice, Queen Gloria, King Bruce Ice, Prince Oliver: Werewolf of the United Planets, and Pastor Penn," Chrissy, sub of many glorious titles said.
Squire Blinky smiled and blinked with excitement. Count Vanilla smiled. Prince Banana Ice smiled and blushed. Queen Gloria dramatically fanned herself with a shy smile. King Bruce Ice growled.
"Thank you, Chrissy, submissive queen of nomenclature," Prince Oliver: Werewolf of the United Planets said.
"Thank you. I appreciate your recognition of my being a pastor. I welcome the title, but I do not require to be called 'Pastor Penn.' I am forever humbled by the true royalty, my Lord Jesus Christ," Pastor Penn said.
"We have spoken! Can someone please get crowns, medals, and sashes for our anchors please?" Chrissy, sub with many glorious titles asked.
The backstage crew quickly rushed through the props.
"Thank you. And on that note, we will take a 15-minute commercial break," Chrissy, sub with many glorious titles spoke.
"Thank you. I need that in hopes of completing my broadcast," Jaybird said as his head took up the whole screen.
And Prince Banana Ice started laughing uncontrollably again over some elevator music that was playing to ease into the commercial break.
"Lights! Sound! Costumes! Make-up! Camera! Action!" Chrissy with all of her glorious titles spoke with her distinct English voice.
The cameras turned on to reveal seven speakers sitting at the purple Planetary Broadcasting Corporation's newsdesk sitting seven inches apart wearing seven different colors, seven different style shirts, and seven different collars having seven different personalities and representing seven different cities.
Blinky blinked seven times and wore a light teal long-sleeved button-down shirt with a gold chain collar. He wore round-framed glasses. He represented Ocala, Florgia, United Emirates of Chinta.
Count Vanilla growled 63 times and wore an off-white polo shirt with a pocket on the left side of his chest with a silver chain around his neck. He wore square-framed glasses. He represented The Fountain of Youth City of Georgia.
Banana Ice rolled his eyes fully in the back of his head before he spoke, "I'm Banana Ice, the submissive husband of Abigail Ice and son of Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas, the beautiful lady sitting next to me. I'm truly honored to be next to her and in front of you broadcasting, and... translating Count Vanilla's growls that translate Blinky's blinks. My mother will speak French." He removed his lip piercings to make it easier for us to understand him. He still had that same mohawk and wore the same black collar with the bananas hanging off of it, a sleek black long-sleeved button-down shirt with a banana yellow collar. He represented Graytown, Georgia, United States of America that is still America.
"WHAT?! YOU'RE MARRIED TO MY DAUGHTER?!" Bruce Ice shouted as he turned toward Banana Ice. "Nobody fuckin' informed me!" He was wearing a silver and blue tye dye blazer with a white button-down shirt, a pale blue tie, and a thick gold chain down his neck. He represented Athenia, Glorgia, United Emirates of Chinta.
"Oh yeah. That's going to be discussed in a later broadcast," Banana Ice said as he looked at Bruce Ice.
"Well, we should have prepared that AHEAD of time! How the hell am I going to concentrate? I have questions goddammit!" Bruce Ice shouted as he hammer fisted the desk with his right paw.
"Ay, merci, Bruce Ice, ay. Some of us would like to introduce ourselves. You sort of cut me off, as you say. Do you mind?!" Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas asked in her heavy French accent as she narrowed her brownish hazel eyes that had heavy mascara on the lashes at him. When wasn't that woman picture-perfect? She wore a pure white pearl necklace, a blue blouse with brownish gold speckles on it, and her sapphire wedding ring on the ring finger of her left paw. Her fur was brushed to perfection. She represented France.
"ABSOLUTELY! BUT THE SHOW MUST GO ON! Back to you, Gloria Balalalala-lalalalalas," Bruce Ice tried to say.
"Lala lala lala lalalas," Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas corrected him. "Ay. You English-speaking bears drive me crazy, I swear. But yes, I am Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas, wife of Skipper Balalalalalalalalalas and mother of Francesca Asiago Cheese, Victoria Filetmignon, and... Banana Ice? When did my son change his name to that monstrosity? This is news to me, Banana Ice," she said as she yanked a few of his ear rings with her right paw and stared at the camera.
"Yeeeeeooooooooow! That's in a later story as well, Mother Dearest," Banana Ice said as he winced in pain. "Ooooowwwww!!!" He gently rubbed his left paw to gently ease her paw off of his ear.
"THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN DISCUSSED AHEAD OF TIME!" Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas and Bruce Ice yelled as they stared daggers at Banana Ice.
"Sorry! We didn't have time until now! I'm sorry. I'm sorry," Banana Ice said to them with wide eyes before he turned back to the camera. "Besides, there are much more pressing matters to discuss than my existence right now."
"Very true," Bruce Ice said before he cleared his throat. "Hello, PBC viewers, I am Bruce Ice, husband of Megara Ice, daughter of Abigail Ice and three other female cubs that shall not be named because they are minors. This is a no-minor broadcast!"
Blinky, Count Vanilla, Banana Ice, Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas, Prince Oliver: Werewolf of the United Planets, and a new golden bear named Penn made growls and nods of agreement.
"I COULD NOT AGREE MORE! NO MINORS SHALL EVER PARTICIPATE IN THE PLANETARY BROADCASTING CORPORATION NEWS REPORTS EVER. IT WILL BE RARE THAT THEY ARE EVEN FEATURED, MUCH LESS TELLING NEWS ON THIS ESTEEMED NETWORK. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. NOW WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, I FINALLY GET TO SAY MY PEACE. It only took a DAY. The hell is wrong with this planet?! I'm Prince Oliver, Werewolf of the United Planets formerly known as Prince. Ahahahaha! No really. "Purple Rain" was my song. Some asshole from America stole my song. Bastard." Prince Oliver: Werewolf of the United Planets was wearing only a black tie and a black spiked color. He represented the Greek region of Hades.
Blinky, Count Vanilla, Banana Ice, Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas, Bruce Ice, Penn, Chrissy, and all of her glorious titles chuckled.
"Ahem. I was formerly known as Prince Oliver, Werewolf of London, but as you all know, if you watch this network AT ALL, London is literally burning in Hell right now. That's why a bunch of my crew and I, no seriously, I stuffed over 10,000 of us on that spaceship. When we all exited the ship, it looked like a multitude of clowns coming out of a car. It was RIDICULOUS!" His greenish gray eyes and mouth were wide as he spoke.
"I can vogue for that," Chrissy, babybaby said on a separate green screen as she wore a black and white maid outfit, a black collar with a gold bell in the front, black fishnet stockings, and black high heels. Her black and gray fur was brushed perfectly.
The green screen showed the footage of her, 44 wolf puppies, Master wearing a black and silver fox fur, EliEli: Mistress of the United Planets, Catman, Stan Doe, the entire cast of the PeeWee Herman show, 300 assorted cats, 400 dalmatians, 500 other assorted dogs, 600 goats, 700 sheep, the Chinaman from the pranking soundboard, the Vietman from the pranking soundboard, an android popularly known as Mark Fuckerberg, Max Headroom, 209 fat bears of all colors, and countless clowns, including Ronald McDonald and Pennywise the Dancing Clown, burst from that ship. How did they fit?
"Excuse me. I normally wear a black wig to further accentuate my head, but it's entirely too fucking hot on this planet for that shit right now. Summer everywhere in the last few galaxies has been ABSOLUTELY BARBARIC!" Chrissy, babydoll with all glorious titles spoke as she stared directly at the camera with her kaleidoscopic greenish yellowish hazel eyes.
Blinky, Count Vanilla, Banana Ice, Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas, Bruce Ice, and Penn laughed and nodded with agreement.
"Hahahahahaha!!!! All right. Hello Everybody, as if the news isn't crazy enough without the first bit of news we heard today, I'm Penn with Off Grid Desert Farming with Penn and Alexia doing a GUEST appearance on the Planetary Broadcasting Corporation news network to explain what is actually going on behind the jab, mandates, checkpoints, and why these space ass... aliens are pushing it so hard among all the planets," Penn spoke with his southern accent. He was a golden bear with serious blue eyes. His fur was brushed perfectly as well. He looked to be the same age as Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas, but in reality, she was much older. (She looked much younger than she was and gave that trait to all of her children.) He was wearing a navy blue shirt and his platinum wedding ring.
Penn continued to speak, "Sorry about delaying our news report on August 11, 2021 until now. The powers that be were downloading contact-tracing software to everyone's electrical devices. They are used to track and control jabbed people. They are also used as weapons against you if they decide to make it self-destruct in T minus five seconds. The jabbed are automatically being downloaded into. The patent number that has been downloaded into their brains is 060606. The jabbed are now (encrypted voice done by Chrissy, Encrypting Genius saying Five GEEGEEGEE) repeater towers. They are the temples made without hands. But SO ARE YOU. The Creator made the unjabbed without hands. More news will come on this topic. Please watch my news broadcasts on the 900 Club, Stumble.cahm, BiteChew.cahm, and Facefail.cahm. Thank you for listening."
"Yes. Thank you for sharing, Penn. Finally, some useful stuff this morning," Prince Oliver: Werewolf of the United Planets.
Blinky blinked. Count Vanilla growled Penn's message in his own words and spoke Penn's references verbatim in bear growl language to the bears.
"You have the choice on which side you take. I, personally, like to watch sports for hours, sing the American National Anthem, drive Captain America's speedboat, fly in my Batbearmobile, read books about everything including religious texts... from all sides. I personally like to debunk the arguments of all pastors on TV.... except Penn. Penn is solid. He is speaking correctly on the Federal Emergency Medical Assimilations news and what they are doing to us PATRIOTS!" Banana Ice grabbed the desk tightly with his paws and leaned forward for a moment before he sat back down and began to speak calmly. "Also, Austria Australia have cracked down on the unjabbed and stripping their rights away as they speak."
Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas translated Banana Ice's message in French. She added more, and Bruce and Banana Ice worked together to translate her message.
"In France, they are looking for the unjabbed and are trying to silence them with blowdarts," Bruce Ice said.
"League of Legends is a true story. Teemo, Trastana, and Lala are among us. They are shooting the (encrypted voice done by Chrissy, Encrypting Genius saying PLAGUE MEDICINE) and I mean that in the most sarcastic way. They are inhuman. They are (encrypted voice done by Chrissy, Encrypting Genius saying Communal Toilets)," Banana Ice said.
"No one wants to hear the Truth," Penn said. "People are talking about the CDPCP Captain Planet American shielding that separates the jabbed from the unjabbed. They're real. They're coming and coming fast! This is not a joke. This is real. I repeat. This is real. Banana Ice said correctly that Austria Australia has started to crack down on us unjabbed. They have come door-to-door asking for papers just like the Germans did to the (encrypted voice by Chrissy, Encrypting Genius saying JuJubes) back in the 1940s on Earth and God Knows Where Else. Then if you don't have papers, they take you away to some throwaway galaxy where no one can find you."
"IT'S UNAMERICAN! IT'S UNCONSTITUTIONAL! PATRIOTS MUST RESIST!" Blinky, Count Vanilla, Banana Ice, and Bruce Ice shouted.
Bears shouted in the background.
Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas spoke wildly in French. She spoke in English. "I'm just a messenger! I did not write these news!"
Penn spoke, "Read John 3:16. Read Psalm 91! That's what will save you! Stay strong. Do not get jabbed. Humble yourself. You know better than to take the (encrypted voice done by Chrissy, Encrypting Genius saying PLAGUE MEDICINE)! Amen!"
The screen switched to Chrissy and her glorious titles. A screen was scrolling with her titles. "Thank you, Penn, Banana and Bruce Ice, Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas, whoa! That name should be a title! Count Vanilla, Blinky, and last but not least, Prince Oliver, Werewolf of the United Planets for your news today. More will come after this short break."
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A video of Chrissy, her glorious titles, and her 46 wolf pups playing played for five minutes as an intermission. It was still entirely too fucking hot for her to wear the wig.
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The camera then showed Chrissy, submissively and dutifully our reporter standing in front of a photo of Mars still without her wig.
"Hello Everybody, as I am forced to say on every broadcast in case you aren't informed, I'm Chrissy, babybaby, baby baby hit me baby one more time, not Aguilera. Ugh. My glorious title changes every minute, I swear. My Dom is a cruel jokester. But," Chrissy.... spoke before she started. "Let us get on with our next broadcast. Jaybird, a floating head on Mars-"
Banana Ice was beginning to crack up. Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas elbowed him hard with her right elbow.
"Ahem, yes," Chrissy, babybaby space reporter on live television said before she was trying not to laugh. "Jayhead from Mars would like to tell us about a new and upcoming screenplay author who is a lot like me, not he or it but maybe something in between. Jayhead! Excuse me Jaybird, how are you doing?"
Jaybird's bald floating face with thin brown eyebrows, hazel eyes, a distinct nose, and small lips was staring at us in front of a giant intergalactic "solar system" green screen. "I'm great. Thank you, Chrissy-," Jaybird said with a Cleveland, Ohio accent.
At this point, Bruce Ice busted up laughing. Banana Ice had completely lost it and started to hyperventilate while laughing. He was falling out of his chair. Count Vanilla stared at the camera and looked disturbed. Blinky looked confused and wanted to know what happened to the rest of Jaybird's body. Penn was smiling and suppressing laughter.
"Excuse me. What's so funny? I haven't even told the story yet," Jaybird asked.
Chrissy, baby master of laughter suppression said with a grin, "Excuse me, Banana and Bruce Ice! Do you MIND? Some of us..." she said as she involuntarily giggled. "Would like to hear the news today. Could you please be quiet?"
Banana Ice was rolling on the floor while his chest heaved as he laughed. He was wearing black dress pants and those godawful ridiculous banana rocket shoes. It's dangerous to only spend a minute shopping for new shoes. The shoes were firing off and making him scoot across the floor. Bruce Ice was falling out of his chair laughing. Penn was throwing his head back and laughing. Blinky and Count Vanilla were laughing hysterically as they watched Banana Ice jet across the floor as he laughed. Prince Oliver, Werewolf of the United Planets was laughing sheerly out of disbelief.
Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas was trying to talk over the laughter. "This is why you don't wear rocket shoes in a news broadcast. What a mockery of news journalism. Or was that his point?" Even she was trying not to laugh.
"I have no idea," Chrissy, baby giggles said as she was giggling. "I think that clip's going viral."
Jaybird's floating head was hysterically laughing. "Wow! That's the embodiment of space right there! Sci-Fi, eat your heart out. And here I thought robots writing movie scripts was hilarious. Shoot, the best form of entertainment is buying your children rocket shoes and making them laugh hysterically to see what happens."
Chrissy, baby mama giggles stickles crackalacka cracked up. "Yes. Wolf pups with rocket shoes flying around would be something," she said with more laughter. "Whoever he bought those shoes from is going to have a massive increase in sales."
Banana Ice was trying to calm down and turn his shoes off. "Sorry! I just don't understand what's going on right now."
"Does anybody?" Chrissy, babybaby with more questions than answers asked.
"I doubt it, but this upcoming AI script-" Jaybird was trying to say before he was rudely interrupted by Banana Ice's continued laughter and scooting across the floor with rocket shoes.
Seriously, why the fuck did he buy those?
"I need to mute that screen. I can't report like this," Chrissy baby drama queen said as she walked off the set for a second. "Zachary Girrafinakis, mute screen 1 please!"
Zachary Giraffinakis, my newly hired slave who happened to be good at working cameras, looked exactly like the American actor Zach Gallifinakis. But he was behind the scenes and was born and raised on the Green Planet. We really do live in an alternate reality. I allowed Chrissy, babywolfgirl bitch mama news reporter with 46 hungry pups to borrow him for this breaking news report. Zachary Giraffinakis kindly muted the screen.
But Banana Ice was mute laughing and trying to shut off his shoes with not much success. Bruce Ice was beating the desk and heaving with mute laughter. Blinky was crying as he blink-laughed. Count Vanilla was mute growling and mute laughing. Penn was wiping his eyes while mute laughing.
Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas was mute speaking. The closed caption said, "You have to excuse my son. His brain is malfunctioning. I don't know why it happened. He got that faulty brain mechanic from his papa."
Prince Oliver, Werewolf of the United Planets was mute laughing and wiping his eyes with his tie.
"Thank you, Zachary Giraffinakis, now we can continue this news broadcast. I'm telling you. Today's broadcast alone has been one big news blooper. It goes to show that the events of the multiverse truly have begun to mock the multiverse itself. Perplexing," Chrissy, amused babygirl newscaster spoke.
"Yes. Truly. And the AI movie script writer actually touches on that," Jaybird said with a chuckle. "Excuse me. I'm still trying to get over a ridiculous-looking bear scooting... hahaha across the floor with rocket shoes. I mean, who wears rocket shoes to a press conference? That's a great screenplay idea for the AI script writer! Haha! I have no idea if he wrote one like that yet."
"No idea," Chrissy, babygirl Wolf Mama still in disbelief said. "I don't think I'm ever going to get over this traumatic experience." She was giggling.
"Me neither. Someone has GOT to make a Sci-Fi movie with malfunctioning rocket shoes during a news broadcast. If you're watching this Bouregard, you need to calibrate the transcripts from this broadcast and MAKE THAT INTO A MOVIE!" Jaybird said with laughter.
"How would he do that?" Chrissy, perplexed babywolfmama asked.
"Well, it all started with Ross Godwing, who collaborated with Oscar the Grouch to come up with this Artifical Intelligence Unit, sort of like Spock from Star Trek, that could write scripts using an algorithm that pools lines from all Sci-Fi scripts that have ever even been thought of. One day, they sat near a computer, the AI unit was computing a script by putting its head through the computer screen. After about five minutes, the AI unit took its head out of the screen and spat out a script for an hour and a half long Sci-Fi movie. The movie was called Moonfall," Jaybird answered.
The screen then showed a poster with a space background with a large white moon in the center and rainbow-colored 1960s style font saying "Moonfall." Two brown bears were on either side of a small female red bear. They all wore white space helmets and gray spacesuits.
"Moonfall is about a... very strange space station that has three bears in it who are trying to survive. They are in a disjointed love triangle. The first male bear is named B, and he has green eyes that are crossed the whole time. He is the leader of the group. The female bear is named X, and she has gray dead eyes. She spends all of her title in front of a computer that talks to her in gibberish. The other male bear is slightly smaller and is named Ib, and his eyes are all black. He speaks mostly in gibberish. His favorite line is 'I want to stick my head in a telephone socket.'," Jaybird continued.
Chrissy, curious babywolfmama, nodded and spoke, "That sounds advanced for an AI unit. And that is very eye-opening to see the result of years of Sci-Fi script writing. And a lot of the best stuff comes from 60 years ago. I'll be daaaamned."
"Yes. When the Sesame street crew got together and read the script, they pissed themselves laughing," Jaybird said.
"I can imagine. Would you like to play some clips from the movie?" Chrissy, curious babywolfmamallama asked.
"Why sure!" Jaybird said before he spat out some film.
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Moonfall (2021), Act 2 - Holy TIHS, bro!!!!
Some Sci-Fi rap music was playing in the background, and the main computer was spitting out lyrics.
"I don't give a fuck. I'm rich, bitch.
Three pods and a ship. I'm rich bitch.
Hit the bar and blow it up. I'm slick, bitch.
I don't give a fuck."
Then the song "Intergalactic Fanatic Scholastic" by Peter Whitey Parker and the Floating Clowns started to play. (It sounds like "Intergalactic" by Beastie Boys.)
While the computer spit out these lyrics,
"Intergalactic, planetary, planetary, intergalactic
Intergalactic, planetary, planetary, intergalactic
Intergalactic, planetary, planetary, intergalactic
Intergalactic, planetary, planetary, intergalactic
A new born dimension, a new born dimension
A new born dimension, a new born dimension
A new born dimension, a new born dimension
A new born dimension, a new born dimension
A new born dimension, a new born dimension
A new born dimension"
"COMMA!" B shouted in a high-pitched nasally voice.
B and Ib started to dance wildly while shaking their fat bear asses on camera. B kept sticking his tongue in and out and poking himself in the stomach. There was text above B's head that said, "Yes. These are stage directions. I told this mother f%$#^@ to do it."
Ib started shaking wildly and yelled in a deep baritone voice similar to yoitssteve on Twitch.TV, "Radio Mania! Radio Mania!"
Then the computer imitated Peter Whitey Parker's voice verbatim. It sang while it showed Peter's face on the screen.
"Don't you tell me now to well smile
I'll make you stick it around worth your while
Beyond my numbers what you can dial
It's because maybe we're so versatile
Style, profile, I say
It back brings always me when I hear, "ooh, child!"
From Savannah River out to the Nile
I grind the marathon to the very last mile
Well, if you fondle me I feel reviled
People always sayin' my body is wild
Got you gall, got you guile
Walk with me I'm a grape-o-phile."
Clowns, Ib, B, X, and Peter danced.
Then the signal got interrupted.
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"Whoa! What the hell?!" Jaybird shouted.
"The transmission's been interrupted. What in the world is going on?!" Babywolfgirl Chrissy asked dramatically.
Banana Ice was mute-screaming. Count Vanilla was straightening his fur rapidly. Blinky was squirting eyedrops in his eyes. Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas was quickly redoing her make-up. Prince Oliver: Werewolf of the United Planets was gulping and staring at the camera as though he had seen a ghost. Penn was reading the King James Version of the Bible.
And Bruce Ice was mute-speaking and smiling. His closed caption said, "Thank Whoever interrupted that transmission. That was the worst movie I ever had the displeasure of seeing in my life."
Master then appeared on a screen by himself. He was dressed to the nines in fox furs and wolf tails. His aquamarine eyes, strong nose, full lips, and strong chin showed through his layers. Then he spoke in his deep voice, "Excuse the interruption, Chrissy, sub of many glorious titles. If I didn't know better, I would ask if you were a switch instead. But my point is, I need to announce that the Florida News Agency is no longer trendy."
"You are absolutely correct, Master. Thank you for the interruption," Chrissy, sub of many glorious titles said. "I'm as submissive as it gets, Master. I guarantee you that."
"I am well aware. Also, a fur gathering is occurring tomorrow at midnight. Be there, or be the Florida News Agency!" Master said with a chuckle.
Bruce Ice nodded, mute-laughed, and mute-spoke. His closed caption was, "Will do. I have thousands of dollars worth of furs to present at the event."
"Zachary Giraffinakis, please unmute that screen," Chrissy, sub of many glorious titles said.
"Yes ma'am," he said as he unmuted the screen.
"Only thousands, Bruce Ice? Really? I have like a whole case worth of furs. I have spent tens of thousands on furs. You don't know brown bear privilege," Banana Ice said.
"He is correct. Banana Ice... I can't with this *ridiculous* name, my dear son, is the most entitled, spoiled, and submissive subby cubby in every galaxy. I'm his mother. I can vogue for that, but as I'm saying this, I don't know whether to be proud or ashamed," Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas spoke as she visibly shrugged.
Blinky, Count Vanilla, and Banana Ice shrugged. Bruce Ice scratched his head and looked at her with a puzzled look.
"Definitely proud. His title should be Prince Banana Ice," Prince Oliver: Werewolf of the United Planets stated.
"Ashamed. The Lord doesn't award those who were spoiled here in this life. He values hard workers," Penn said.
"Actually. He's both," Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas said flatly to Penn.
"Can you explain that to us, please?" Penn asked. "I'm very confused right now."
"Oui. While my husband and I are extremely wealthy, we definitely trained my son to be inquisitive and read as much as possible. We also instilled the value of having a lot of physical activity through rigorous training. He also was taught to be specialized in his craft," Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas said.
Prince Banana Ice smiled at the camera.
"Someone put a crown on his head, please," Chrissy, sub of many glorious titles said.
"As a matter of fact, find a crown for Queen Gloria as well," Master spoke. "After all, a prince is not a prince without a queen."
"That is absolutely correct, Master," Chrissy, sub of many glorious titles said.
"Hold the phone. If Prince Banana Ice and Queen Gloria exist, then technically Abigail Ice should be Princess Abigail Ice, Megara Ice should be Queen Megara Ice, and I should be King Bruce Ice," King Bruce Ice said.
"THAT IS A BRILLIANT OBSERVATION," Master and Chrissy spoke at the same time.
"Everyone. Our news anchors are now all royalty. We have Squire Blinky, Count Vanilla, Prince Banana Ice, Queen Gloria, King Bruce Ice, Prince Oliver: Werewolf of the United Planets, and Pastor Penn," Chrissy, sub of many glorious titles said.
Squire Blinky smiled and blinked with excitement. Count Vanilla smiled. Prince Banana Ice smiled and blushed. Queen Gloria dramatically fanned herself with a shy smile. King Bruce Ice growled.
"Thank you, Chrissy, submissive queen of nomenclature," Prince Oliver: Werewolf of the United Planets said.
"Thank you. I appreciate your recognition of my being a pastor. I welcome the title, but I do not require to be called 'Pastor Penn.' I am forever humbled by the true royalty, my Lord Jesus Christ," Pastor Penn said.
"We have spoken! Can someone please get crowns, medals, and sashes for our anchors please?" Chrissy, sub with many glorious titles asked.
The backstage crew quickly rushed through the props.
"Thank you. And on that note, we will take a 15-minute commercial break," Chrissy, sub with many glorious titles spoke.
"Thank you. I need that in hopes of completing my broadcast," Jaybird said as his head took up the whole screen.
And Prince Banana Ice started laughing uncontrollably again over some elevator music that was playing to ease into the commercial break.