Doing Bear Business As Summer Love in Summer 2021 (Joebear POV)
I growled with authority and was eating a grilled chicken wrap with avocado ranch sauce. I wore a crown that Bruce the Ace of Brake-fixing and my wife honored me with. Xara, my beautiful wife, walked in the woods naked.
She was..... sexxxxxaaaayyyy!! Look at dat butt.
Zombies were walking behind her and checking out her butt.
I wasn't having that, so I stood up and pointed my butt in their general direction. I broke wind, and they disintregrated. My ass is the answer to the zombie apocalypse.
I AM the ONLY bear allowed to make love to her temple for now on. She is my wife, and I am her husband, which means protector.
I shall always protect my wife from stupid bullshit.
"Bae Whuhh!!!!" she shouted. "Join me."
"JOIN US, BAE WHUHHH!!!" more zombies shouted as they appeared in the swamp.
Xara and the zombies then danced to seriously spicy salsa music.
Lord, give me strength! Mexico has come to the swamp. Ugggghhhhh!!!! America is fucked. It has been bought and sold by China, but why Mexican music and Mexican zombies right now? My fat ass was not ready to dance to seriously spicy salsa. My back and my legs hurt. I was taking a shit that thwarted the zombies. Even flies thought it was stank.
Our young black and white cat named Miss Oreo came storming into the swamp. She always had energy. Kissy, our female orange cat, followed Miss Oreo. Garfield's soul left his body to be with the Father seven months ago. Kissy, Xara, and I still miss him more than words can describe.
Macrula screamed and brought more humidity upon us. A wall of rain fell from the sky. I guess he knew our pain, too. Angels sense things.
"Hoowoo Bae Whuhh you sexy!" Xara said. At that moment, she started her period. She had swamp vagina. She needed business more than ever. "BAE WHUHH!!! I NEED BUSINESS BAEWHUHH!!!" She was also crying because she missed Garfield. I will provide business when my sadness subsides. I love my wife, but I need to continue to mourn the loss of my boy.
"Kissy! Kissy!" I called in a low melodic voice. "I need you, Kissy Kissy."
Kissy ran over here to lay with me. My eyes glossed over, and my vision turned watery. I couldn't see, so I closed my eyes and cried.
I called, "Bae! Come lay with me!" My voice was shaky.
Xara laid with me. A barbeque chicken pizza, a chicken and ranch pizza, and a tomato pizza with tomato sauce fell out of the sky. She and I ate off those pizzas together. We were hungry again.
Count Macula, Jr. walked over to us while he was eating pizza. He was still a forever young white cub. Apparently, he was also in a freezer. I think he lives there.
The Apparently Kid from YouTube yelled "APPARENTLY" before the remaining cast of PeeWee Herman shouted while wearing zombie masks. Apparently, a mask doesn't protect you from a zombie virus. They still recommend masks at grocery stores. I still recommend them to shove their recommendations and fake news and fake narratives up their asses.
A YouTube ad was shown on one of the trees in the swamp. DarthSydePhineas's voice boomed, "COMING SOON, A STORY THAT WILL CALM YOUR NERVES, WAKE YOUR BRAIN, AND HIT YOU WITH AN AIRTHROW. DISNEY'S NEW SEQUEL: COUNT MACULA, JR. WALKS FORWARD IN THE MOUNTAINS OF TRANSYLVANIA TO DISCOVER THAT HIS FAMILY WAS KIDNAPPED BY A CLAN OF CATS. HIS FRIENDS STRUGGLE TO GIVE HIM TIPS, SO HE TRIES TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH PAYPAL. DOES HE EVER PAY THE RANSOM TO GET HIS FAMILY BACK FROM THE CATS? ONLY THE CAT LEADER, GOJITENKS A.K.A DE OF SEAN HE OF SEAN KNOWS." DarthSydePhineas then laughed his trademark laugh.
I growled vehemently at the screen. "How stupid. Why can't they use Square, Zelle, or Venmo like other businesses do? Dumbass cats. So not with the times."
Kissy meowed at the screen in agreement before she laid between my wife and me.
The video shows the white-font title, "COUNT MACULA, JR. WALKS FORWARD AND BREAKS PAYPAL" and a 2D white vampiric cub wearing glasses, black pants and white long-sleeved button-down shirt with black suspenders walking forward on a dark gray background for nine seconds.
DarthSydePhineas continued, "COMING TO A THEATRE NEAR YOU ON AUGUST 20. You can only enter the theatre if you have received the Coronavirus vaccine." He cleared his throat like he always does in every video. "AND I GOT FULLY VACCINATED." He cackled again.
The ad stopped playing.
"The Cat Intelligence Association knows my life story. The Cat Intelligence Association knows my life story. The Cat Intelligence Association knows my life story. The Cat Intelligence Association knows my life story. The Cat Intelligence Association my life story. The Cat Intelligence Association knows my life story. The Cat Intelligence Association knows my life story. The Cat Intelligence Association knows my life story. The Cat Intelligence Association knows my life story. The Cat Intelligence Association knows my life story." Count Macula, Jr. said in his high-pitched Southern accent as he sat down and ate his pizza. "I still didn't take the vaccine. I'm not fucking going to take the vaccine, so I am not making a dime off of it. They're a bunch of crooks in the Beast system. They will go to Hell for this. They will go to Hell for this. They will go to Hell for this. They will go to Hell for this. They will go to Hell for this. They will go to Hell for this. They will go to Hell for this. They will go to Hell for this. They will go to Hell for this."
Peter was also eating pizza, but he was also watching the cartoon movie, Animal Farm, based on the novel by George Orwell. His eyes were wide as they stared at the monitor in a large oak tree.
Bruce the Ace of Brake-fixing and Megara were also eating pizza. They had three female cubs. He sang opera as entertainment for dinner. I sang with him because my body was ready.
Paul the Goat rode Hollywood while they both ate pizza and floated in mid-air. They were jabbed and made their choice. Xara tried to tell them...
Kissy then ate Xara's pizza crust and meowed as though she were a wind-up toy. It was the longest and most beautiful meow I had ever heard. She was something. She was beautiful.
Miss Oreo ate a few pieces of chicken from a pizza and quickly meowed to give an extra musical quality to Kissy's already operatic wind-up toy meow. She then crawled on Xara's legs.
Macrula descended from Chronistica with a sense of urgency. He looked like a black and red bullet coming down at the swamp.
Count Macula, Jr. blinked as he looked at him and took a bite of his pizza. "Apparently we have entered Heaven. This pizza tastes like Heaven. Excuse me. I have a cub call to make. I have a cub call to make. I have a cub call to make. I have a cub call to make. I have a cub call to make. I have a cub call to make. I have a cub call to make. I have a cub call to make. I have a cub call fo make," he spoke before he growled a great cub growl nine times.
Bruce the Ace of Brake-fixing did some vocal exercises before he, too, joined in bear chorus.
I growled in bear chorus before Miss Oreo stole another bite of pizza from me. "OREO, lay down!" I growled at her. Miss Oreo stared at me before she continued to chew. That girl made us crazy sometimes. She needed an ass-beating.
Paul the Goat bleated before Hollywood neighed loudly.
Peter turned away from the scene with the small pig shifting his eyes rapidly, and he started to bleat before he looked up at Macrula and asked, "Who the hell are you?"
Macrula spoke with vigor, "I am Macrula, a dark angel with regrets, angel wings of redemption, and have traveled across many planes of existence. A cat called upon me. What shall she have me do?"
I have a boner. I could not describe how much I wanted to pull Xara's long brown straight hair and use it as a handle to yank her pussy back and forth on my cock. DAAYUMN!!!!!
Kissy looked at Miss Oreo. Miss Oreo looked at Kissy. They were confused cats.
Macrula spoke again, "I heard a cat that sounded like a wind-up toy."
Kissy looked at him and meowed again. "Sorry about that. I was excited about pizza crust. When I eat pizza crust, I'm in heaven. Thank you for coming."
"I added the high notes," Miss Oreo said.
"You are most welcome, cat of great beauty," he said. Yes, Kissy was a beautiful cat.
Miss Oreo screamed at him.
"CATS of great beauty. CATS! CATS! CATS! Excuse me. What shall you have me do for you?" Macrula asked.
"Well, we are having a great swamp party, despite the fact that the swaaaamp is completely dissemated," Kissy said as she meowed.
Miss Oreo meowed in agreement.
Pauno, a Greek God with green eyes and black curly-hair and Artemis, the alleged Greek Goddess of nature, hunting, chastity, and childbirth also wandered in the swamp. They also were eating pizza.
Kissy farted a loud and stinky fart. She blew serious ass.
Peter looked back at Kissy with a look of shock as he leaned away from her. "Oooof! What did she eat?" he mumbled and shrugged as he stared back at the monitor intently.
"Peter?!" Artemis said as she sat near him to watch the movie with him. "I didn't know you liked Animal Farm! It's one of my favorite dystopian movies ever." She ate another bite of pizza.
Peter looked over to Artemis before he spoke, "It seems appropriate. After all, we are living in dystopian times. Communism is becoming a thing." He sighed and rolled his eyes. "I don't even recognize this country anymore."
The swamp bubbled up before a woman with long red hair like Jessica Rabbit in "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" started crawling from the large puddle in the middle of said swamp. She was covered in mud and leaves. She looked familiar. She looked like a mud-covered Poison Ivy from the DC Comics. She then went over and hugged Peter around his waist. At least she defied the social distancing laws that were in place by Biden's rule.
Of course we all know that Biden isn't actually the one in charge. He answers to the Illuminati, a bunch of Reptilian elites who rule the world under Satan's law.
"Hey, Peter," the Poison Ivy cosplayer in mud said as she kissed the left side of Peter's neck.
Peter smiled and put his long fingers around those of the woman. "Oh hey, Jessica. Why the hell did you emerge from the mud?"
I then growled a great bear growl with force before announcing, "That's great, Jessica Rabbit! Now if you excuse me, I need to lick ass." I jumped up and mauled Xara before putting my head in her ass.
"BAE WHUHH!!!!" Xara shouted as she shook her divine booty and did the backfat dance in front of everyone. She was bleeding like a stuffed pig. Xara's ass is the best form of meat. All it needs is bear white sauce with extra honey, if you know what I mean.
I growled in her rear end before I stuffed my tongue deep into her ass and started to lick as though it were a honey hive. Her chocolate was dee-dee-deelicious. Lucky Charms had nothing on this.
Macrula laughed a hearty laugh before he addressed Kissy and Miss Oreo. "I am not going to lick your cat asses if that's what you are implying."
I hope not. Please don't lick cat asses. That's disturbing.
Kissy looked at Macrula in confusion before she meowed again. "No. I definitely did not call you for that. I simply meowed out of enjoying pizza crust," she said.
"You would do that?" Miss Oreo asked with her head cocked to the side.
We went down the swamp drain in a clockwise direction because we were in North America. No one is going to lick cat ass.
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There were pictures of Xara all around this mansion. I was in some of the photos. Other photos had late Oreo, Sr., late Garfield, Kissy, and Miss Oreo. There was one photo that all of us together. That's strange. Oreo, Sr. passed away before Miss Oreo was born.
At that moment, I realized I wasn't in reality. I was located in Xara's mind. And I was floating. I heard echoing voices in the distant saying "BaeWhuhh."
"Baebae!" I shouted quickly. My penis was as hard as a diamond. Then the head of my penis turned into a diamond with a slit in it. I burped.
Our cats and four other people were floating with me.
Jessica Rabbit, an actual white rabbit with red flowing hair on top of her head was in Xara's mind with me.
"Where are we?" she asked me.
"In my wife's mind," I said as I started to rub my diamond head against the wall of Xara's brain. I growled like the King Bear I was. My growl echoed throughout her head. It felt so good. I growled louder, and the world started to shake.
....
I heard DarthSydePhineas shout, "HE RAGEQUIT!" before he cackled again.
"Oh you're so good, Phil," I said sarcastically with a chuckle. My diamond head exploded and popped off of my penis. I heard it clank at the bottom of Xara's intestine. That felt nice! My honey spurted.
Chun Li was flying and making noises as she was kicking in the air.
"Where am I going?!" Jessica Rabbit called loudly as she got caught in the river of my bear juice.
"I don't I don't know," I called. "Isn't that stupid? I'm sorry, bae, but it's stupid. Hahahuehue. Random upside down kick? That's so stupid." I then laughed like the Chinaman on the pranking soundboard. "DarthSydePhineas actually makes me hurt."
A large female angel with white wings, straight brown hair, and blue eyes flew around and was drinking my flowing bear juice. Xara was floating with me and beating my bear butt. There was another angelic woman who had red hair, green eyes, and a few freckles on her face.
"Excuse me. I am going to be expelled in 30 seconds. I have a therapy appointment in Xara's bottom. Do you mind, sir?" Jessica Rabbit asked.
I flew to the top of Xara's mind, but my eyes remained on Jessica Rabbit. Xara farted loudly. The sound of that tuba made my ears bleed.
"Owwwww! My ears!" I shouted. I sighed. "Oh my!!!"
Xara pooped loudly and expelled Jessica Rabbit into the toilet that she was sitting on.
"May I have ice cream with cinnamon and grapes?" I asked. I discovered that I was allergic to chocolate a few months ago. It causes my gout to flare up. That sucks because chocolate is one of my favorite foods. And I have an underlying kidney issue, so I can't have too much salt or potassium. I have to be careful.
Xara then manifested a bowl of vanilla ice cream with cinnamon and grapes and gave it to me. Kissy and Miss Oreo were licking from a fountain of ice cream that flowed in the middle of Xara's brain.
"There isn't enough ice cream to satisfy me!" I shouted with a bear growl.
Xara then formed a mountain of ice cream that cosumed me. And then I consumed the ice cream.
"You grab the ice cream and take the ice cream if you want it," Xara said. "BaeBaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Baeabaaaaaaaaaeeee heyheyheyhey!!!"
Truer words have never been spoken.
"Thank you," I said as I shot cum in her mouth.
Xara held me in an embrace of tree vines that came from the walls of her mind. She wrapped them around my legs, groin, and chest. He bounced me around.
Miss Oreo laid next to her before she put her ass near Xara's hand. Xara beat that cat's ass. Miss Oreo was growling a song of pleasure to the rhythm of Xara's beats. Kissy floated on Xara's head and tried to eat my ice cream again.
I floated down to Xara's asshole and growled loudly as my tongue licked wonders inside of her anus. "I am the easiest person to get along with. I'm a passionate bear. I love you," I said.
"Ooh hoo Bae!!!!!" Xara shouted in excitement. "You are wonderful. I love you, too, beast."
"I love you," I said.
Macrula and the redheaded angel with green eyes sang and danced to an angelic duet of Michael Jackson and Whitney Spleen's "The Way You Make Me Feel" to celebrate our love.
Macrula shouted, "Go on girl!" as he instantly changed into a purple suit with a forest green shirt and a lavender tie, a black top hat, and black dress shoes.
The redheaded angel and the brunette angel transformed into women with straw hats with ribbon around the base, sundresses down to their knees, and high heels.
The redhead's hat had a red ribbon. She wore a red dress with yellow flowers on it and red high heels.
The brunette's hat had a blue ribbon. She wore a pale blue dress with bright purple flowers and blue high heels.
Macrula started singing, "Hey pretty baby with the high heels on
You give me fever
Like I've never, ever known
You're just a product of loveliness
I like the groove of your walk,
Your talk, your dress
I feel your fever
From miles around
I'll pick you up in my car
And we'll paint the town
Just kiss me baby
And tell me twice
That you're the one for me."
Xara, Macrula, the redhead, the brunette, and I were transferred to Chronistica, a place with warped clocks similar to those depicted in Salvador Dali's paintings, clouds, and blue skies.
Macrula continued to sing. "THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL!" He then summoned a cane.
The redheaded and brunette summoned their canes and began to sing and dance, "The Way You Make Me Feel!"
Macrula then sang again, "You really turn me on!"
Disco lights shown down at the three angels.
The brunette and redhead started to line dance and sing, "You really turn me on!".
"You really knock me off my feet!" Macrula sang before the women pulled his legs with the canes and literally knocked him off his feet.
Xara and I chuckled. Xara beat me in rhythm to the song as it played.
"You knock me off my feet!" the brunette and redhead sang as Macrula dragged their legs down and literally knocked them off their feet.
Macrula got up and sang, "My lonely days are gone!"
The women got up and sang, "My lonely days are gone."
They stood up straight before they started tap dancing with their canes and spinning around.
"I like the feeling you're giving me," the redhead sang as she looked at Macrula.
"Just hold me baby, and I'm in ecstasy," the brunette said as she grabbed Macrula.
The redhead whacked the brunette. Xara whacked me.
Then Macrula stepped out of the line and sang, "Oh I'll be workin' from nine to five.
To buy you things to keep you by my side."
The redhead sang, "I never felt so in love before. Just promise baby, you'll love me forevermore."
Macrula and the redhead sang, "I swear I'm keepin' you satisfied. 'Cause you're the one for me! The way you make me feel!"
The redhead, brunette, and Macrula sang, "The way you make me feel!" They all started their dance with their canes.
Macrula sang as he danced with his cane, "You really turn me good.'"
The redheaded angel sang as she danced near Macrula, "You really turn me on!"
Then a bunch of women wearing straw hats with assorted color ribbons, assorted knee-length sundresses, and assorted colored high heels sang, "You knock me offa my feet now Baby!"
Music played for a second before they sang again, "You knock me off of my feet!"
They swayed their hips, planted their feet firmly on the large cloud between them, and tapped their canes on either side of their feet.
"My lonely days are gone," Macrula sang as he did a dramatic jump in the air and then tap danced with his cane.
"My lonely days are gone," the brunette and redhead sang as they tap danced with their canes on either side of him.
Music played while they danced a jig with their canes.
"Go on girl!" Macrula sang. He sang a few angelic notes before he repeated. "Go on girl!" He sang a series of soprano notes. "Go on girl!"
Music played for a moment while they danced again.
"I never felt so in love before!" the brown-haired angel sang.
"Promise baby, you'll love me forevermore!" the redheaded angel sang.
"I swear I'm keepin' you satisfied," all three angels sang. "'Cause you're the one for me!"
The females in the background sang, "The way you make me feel!".
"The way you make me feel!" Macrula sang loudly.
"You really turn me on," the females sang.
"You really turn me on," Macrula sang.
"You really knock me off of my feet now baby!" they all sang. "You knock me off of my feet!"
"My lonely days are gone!" the females sang.
"My lonely days are gone!" Macrula sang before he said, "Ain't nobody's business. Ain't nobody's business. "
The females sang, "The way you make me feel!"
I then jumped in and started dancing and singing, "Ain't nobody's business, Ain't nobody's business but Mine and my baby."
The females sang, "You really turn me on!"
Macrula sang, "You knock me off of my feet Oh Baby!"
I sang, "My lonely days are gone!" I then growled like the bear I was a few times and danced with the tap dancers with poles.
Macrula then took over the song and sang, "Give it to me, give me some time!"
"The way you make me feel!" the females sang.
"Come on be my girl, I want to be with mine," Macrula sang.
"You really turn me on," the females sang.
"Ain't nobody's business," Macrula sang.
"You knock me off of my feet!" the females sang.
"Ain't nobody's business but mine and my baby's," Macrula sang before he looked intently at the redhead. "Go on, girl! Yoowwwl!!!"
"My lonely days are gone," the redhead sang as she stared back at Macrula.
"Hee hee! Aaow! Chika, chika Chika, chika, chika! Go on girl!, Hee hee!" Macrula sang as he jerked his body back and forth and took one step forward with his cane and one step back with his cane.
"The way you make me feel," the females sang.
"Ee hee hee!" Macrula chanted.
"You really turn me on... you knock me off of my feet... my lonely days are gone!" the females sang before we were abruptly gone from Chronistica.
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On Peachtree Boulevard in Atlanta, GA, the beginning of Count Vanilla's "Ice Cream Baby" song played in the background. (It sounded like Vanilla Ice's "Ice Ice Baby" and "Under Pressure" by David Bowie and Queen.)
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Count Vanilla, the vampyric snow white cub formerly known as Count Macula, Jr. asked dramatically as he froze and was wearing an off-white bandana over his forehead, baggy khakis pants, blue and white high-top Converse shoes, and an off-white cotton collared shirt with a pocket on the left side of his chest.
Bruce Ice, formerly known as Bruce the Ace of Brake-fixing, Bruce Ace, and Agent A-B A-B, was dancing on the boulevard and wearing a blue bandana over his forehead, baggy blue jeans, a baggy blue and silver Tye Dye shirt, and pale blue high-top Converse shoes. He yelled, "Yo V.I.P! Let's kick it! Count Vanilla, let's go!" He then kicked a Mackerel across the boulevard.
Music continued, and Count Vanilla started rapping between beats of the music, "Ice cream, baby. Ice cream, baby. Ice cream, baby. Ice cream, baby. Ice cream, baby. Ice cream, baby. Ice cream, baby. Ice cream, baby. Ice cream, baby."
Then I jumped on the scene with my purple banana, white shirt, baggy black shorts, and black and green New Balance shoes before I rapped when the song in the background temporarily changed to "I'm Rich" by Jeezy, "I don't give a fuck, I'm rich bitch here! Three cars and a truck, I'm rich bitch here! I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!"
Macrula and Bruce Ice started busting up laughing. Macrula was still wearing his purple suit with a green shirt and lavender tie, black dress shoes, and a black top hat.
"That's the wrong song, but I like it. I wish we were rapping that one," Bruce Ice said.
"Why can't we? "Ice Cream Baby" is so overplayed and boring. I heard it all throughout my childhood. Why can't we rap about being rich bears if we're going to be full-on ignorant?" I asked.
Count Vanilla said flatly. "I don't know the words to that song, nor am I rich. I don't know the words to that song, nor am I rich. I don't know the words to that song, nor am I rich. I don't know the words to that song, nor am I rich. I don't know the words to that song, nor am I rich. I don't know the words to that song, nor am I rich. I don't know the words to that song, nor am I rich. I don't know the words to that song, nor am I rich. I don't know the words to that song, nor am I rich."
"Okay. Do you know "I'm Broke" by Xara Si?" I asked.
"Yes!" Count Vanilla said. "Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes." My kind of bear!
Peter then walked over to us with a bigass brown curly afro from the 1970s that extended a foot high, a yellow headband, a white baggy shirt, purple basketball shorts, and white and brown tennis shoes. "That's my favorite song from Xara Si," he said with his trademark loud laugh.
"The song depicts most people's financial situation very accurately," Jessica Rabbit said. She wore a gray business suit with a white shirt, red tie, and sparkly red high-heeled shoes.
"I think Xara Si is about to rap it for us. She's aggravated about her bills," Peter said flatly. I just noticed that he was not wearing glasses.
My wife then walked over to us with her short legs as she wore her sunglasses as a headband, a baggy blue shirt with bleach stains on it, baggy blue jeans, and black high-top Converses.
She rapped the following:
"'I don't give a fuck, I'm broke, bitch here!
I'm eating ramen and a plum, I'm broke, bitch here.
Hit the bank an' rob it up.
I don't give a fuck, I'm broke, bitch here!
I'm eating ramen and a plum, I'm broke, bitch here.
Hit the bank an' rob it up."
Then she growled this lyric, "I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!"
Then she continued to rap:
"Chillin' in the fridge but my ass ain't eatin'. I'm eating vanilla ice cream, so I'm still losin'.
Crackers thick with it, ain't shit you can tell 'em 6:45 mean it's quarter to 7
Lookin' like actin' oughta be a part of the Old Timers
Black on burgundy, slush, he got the fake bedliner Short ass hit the bank, and he eatin' up everything.
Like the way her debt hang down to her derriere (YUCK!)
And Campy what the fuck name needed Young broke stale cracker, and yeah I'm shittarded. And I'm nothin' like them other gals I'm pure shit, bitch, you can't tell me otherwise.
I don't give a fuck, I'm broke, bitch here!
I'm eating ramen and a plum, I'm broke bitch here.
Hit the bank an' rob it up.
So whatchu laughin' at teapot? I don't see shit funny I wasn't rappin' bout it cat, I was really gettin' in debt I was really on the streets, I was really gettin' changed I was really stackin' big bills, I really drove a Ram And that's Lemon, teapot Campin ELL, straight cleaner, teapot rapid streaks on the dumpster, it was so gross had outta state thug when I was 17. A young teacup that was way lame I had shit life when I was in middle school Ay, 'cause if you buyin' they sell Look I ain't exaggerating cat, I ain't lyin'
I don't give a fuck, I'm broke, bitch, here!
I'm eating ramen and a plum, I'm broke, bitch here!
Hit the bank an' rob it up.
Ay, they say the crackers from the box.
If the teapots from the kettle how she live so bad? And I hate the way she sits there. Spent so much paper just to go to school (Ugh!) You told me time is wasted. Dropped seventy on the student loan bill, time is wasted I heard she never had a chance. And if she never had a chance, why she try so hard? See her throwin' ones off in the damn dumpster But ain't never seen that bitch off on Facebook Ads. She must've played in the Magic Shop 'Cause she standing there, draped in all that despair.
I don't give a fuck, I'm broke, bitch here!
I'm eating ramen and a plum, I'm broke, bitch here!
Hit the bank an' rob it up."
I sighed as I stared at her. "That song was depressing. Now I want ice cream!!!!" I shouted.
"Yes Bae Whuhhhh!!! Ice Cream Friday!!!!" Xara shouted. "I'm always hungry."
"I love ice cream, but you know what I hate?" Count Vanilla asked.
"What? Crackers?" Xara asked as she smirked and saw the last mothball fly out of her wallet. Damn she fuckin' broke.
"Haha Yes, but you know what I hate more than crackers?" Count Vanilla asked.
"What?" Xara asked.
A torrential downpour of rain fell down on us unexpectedly.
The brown-haired angel spoke as a matter-of-factly, "You shouldn't have disrespected the famous snack known as a cracker. That offends the completely fake idea of white privilege. Get the fuck out of here. We gonna get tea and crackers? We gonna get tea and crackers! Xara, your rap was depressing and true at the same time. Are you really that pathetic? Are you really that pathetic? Do you see God's love? Do you see God's love?! That's what's gonna carry us. Not money. God is here, you idiot. You see him shine in the sky! Christina, Ultimate Angel of Light, help me show her the way. Amen. Praise God. GO SING, COUNT. BLESS YOU!!!"
"Radiated Refried Beans!" Count Vanilla rapped with the same melody as Xara Si rapped a minute ago. "Radiated Refried Beans! Radiated Refried Beans! Radiated Refried Beans! Radiated Refried Beans Radiated Refried Beans! Radiated Refried Beans! Radiated Refried Beans! Radiated Refried Beans!"
"Oh yes! Recreational Radiated Refried Beans!" Xara shouted.
The brown and red-haired angels and I sang songs of yesterday to each other. We had great voices.
"I'm speechless!" I continued. "My finances. Broke. Count Vanilla is ice. GOOD SONG, Christina. You. Glow. Bright light."
Xara and Macrula just burst out laughing with joy. They love when angels sing. I was rejoicing in the Word of the Lord.
Everyone surrendered to His will. This is Coming to Christ in 2021. Best thing ever. I felt whole again.
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Bruce Ice, Count Vanilla, and I growled loudly in excitement. The trees in the forest on the Green Planet shook from the energy we were exerting with our growls. We were bears.
"You all have problems. Would you all like to make appointments?" Jessica Rabbit asked as she flew down to us with her large white wings.
Peter snorted as he folded his arms across his muscular chest.
"Would you like to explain what happened?" Jessica Rabbit asked.
"No!" Peter shouted.
"Peter is ignorant. Can we have gyros to deal with the stress? Maybe radiated refried beans as a side dish if possible," Artemis, the alleged Greek Goddess of Nature, Hunting, Chasity, and Childbirth said.
"Love 'em," Pauno said. "I shall make gyros rain from the sky!" He threw lightning bolts in the air. The only thing that happened was that Pauno made tzakiki sauce. "What the fuck?"
Macrula sniffed the air. His nose curled back in disgust. "Yeah. I don't know what happened! It must be the damn war near Greece causing the interference in food magic," he said as he scratched his chin that had a red beard on it.
Bruce Ice, Count Vanilla, and I growled angrily like cubs. I added a "Gay!" to the end of my long series of growls.
Paul the Goat made a series of bleats in disgust. Hollywood charged away with Paul the Goat on his back. Both of them neighed in frustration. The swamp golem hobbled after them.
Pauno growled angrily as well because he was looking forward to gyros.
She was..... sexxxxxaaaayyyy!! Look at dat butt.
Zombies were walking behind her and checking out her butt.
I wasn't having that, so I stood up and pointed my butt in their general direction. I broke wind, and they disintregrated. My ass is the answer to the zombie apocalypse.
I AM the ONLY bear allowed to make love to her temple for now on. She is my wife, and I am her husband, which means protector.
I shall always protect my wife from stupid bullshit.
"Bae Whuhh!!!!" she shouted. "Join me."
"JOIN US, BAE WHUHHH!!!" more zombies shouted as they appeared in the swamp.
Xara and the zombies then danced to seriously spicy salsa music.
Lord, give me strength! Mexico has come to the swamp. Ugggghhhhh!!!! America is fucked. It has been bought and sold by China, but why Mexican music and Mexican zombies right now? My fat ass was not ready to dance to seriously spicy salsa. My back and my legs hurt. I was taking a shit that thwarted the zombies. Even flies thought it was stank.
Our young black and white cat named Miss Oreo came storming into the swamp. She always had energy. Kissy, our female orange cat, followed Miss Oreo. Garfield's soul left his body to be with the Father seven months ago. Kissy, Xara, and I still miss him more than words can describe.
Macrula screamed and brought more humidity upon us. A wall of rain fell from the sky. I guess he knew our pain, too. Angels sense things.
"Hoowoo Bae Whuhh you sexy!" Xara said. At that moment, she started her period. She had swamp vagina. She needed business more than ever. "BAE WHUHH!!! I NEED BUSINESS BAEWHUHH!!!" She was also crying because she missed Garfield. I will provide business when my sadness subsides. I love my wife, but I need to continue to mourn the loss of my boy.
"Kissy! Kissy!" I called in a low melodic voice. "I need you, Kissy Kissy."
Kissy ran over here to lay with me. My eyes glossed over, and my vision turned watery. I couldn't see, so I closed my eyes and cried.
I called, "Bae! Come lay with me!" My voice was shaky.
Xara laid with me. A barbeque chicken pizza, a chicken and ranch pizza, and a tomato pizza with tomato sauce fell out of the sky. She and I ate off those pizzas together. We were hungry again.
Count Macula, Jr. walked over to us while he was eating pizza. He was still a forever young white cub. Apparently, he was also in a freezer. I think he lives there.
The Apparently Kid from YouTube yelled "APPARENTLY" before the remaining cast of PeeWee Herman shouted while wearing zombie masks. Apparently, a mask doesn't protect you from a zombie virus. They still recommend masks at grocery stores. I still recommend them to shove their recommendations and fake news and fake narratives up their asses.
A YouTube ad was shown on one of the trees in the swamp. DarthSydePhineas's voice boomed, "COMING SOON, A STORY THAT WILL CALM YOUR NERVES, WAKE YOUR BRAIN, AND HIT YOU WITH AN AIRTHROW. DISNEY'S NEW SEQUEL: COUNT MACULA, JR. WALKS FORWARD IN THE MOUNTAINS OF TRANSYLVANIA TO DISCOVER THAT HIS FAMILY WAS KIDNAPPED BY A CLAN OF CATS. HIS FRIENDS STRUGGLE TO GIVE HIM TIPS, SO HE TRIES TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH PAYPAL. DOES HE EVER PAY THE RANSOM TO GET HIS FAMILY BACK FROM THE CATS? ONLY THE CAT LEADER, GOJITENKS A.K.A DE OF SEAN HE OF SEAN KNOWS." DarthSydePhineas then laughed his trademark laugh.
I growled vehemently at the screen. "How stupid. Why can't they use Square, Zelle, or Venmo like other businesses do? Dumbass cats. So not with the times."
Kissy meowed at the screen in agreement before she laid between my wife and me.
The video shows the white-font title, "COUNT MACULA, JR. WALKS FORWARD AND BREAKS PAYPAL" and a 2D white vampiric cub wearing glasses, black pants and white long-sleeved button-down shirt with black suspenders walking forward on a dark gray background for nine seconds.
DarthSydePhineas continued, "COMING TO A THEATRE NEAR YOU ON AUGUST 20. You can only enter the theatre if you have received the Coronavirus vaccine." He cleared his throat like he always does in every video. "AND I GOT FULLY VACCINATED." He cackled again.
The ad stopped playing.
"The Cat Intelligence Association knows my life story. The Cat Intelligence Association knows my life story. The Cat Intelligence Association knows my life story. The Cat Intelligence Association knows my life story. The Cat Intelligence Association my life story. The Cat Intelligence Association knows my life story. The Cat Intelligence Association knows my life story. The Cat Intelligence Association knows my life story. The Cat Intelligence Association knows my life story. The Cat Intelligence Association knows my life story." Count Macula, Jr. said in his high-pitched Southern accent as he sat down and ate his pizza. "I still didn't take the vaccine. I'm not fucking going to take the vaccine, so I am not making a dime off of it. They're a bunch of crooks in the Beast system. They will go to Hell for this. They will go to Hell for this. They will go to Hell for this. They will go to Hell for this. They will go to Hell for this. They will go to Hell for this. They will go to Hell for this. They will go to Hell for this. They will go to Hell for this."
Peter was also eating pizza, but he was also watching the cartoon movie, Animal Farm, based on the novel by George Orwell. His eyes were wide as they stared at the monitor in a large oak tree.
Bruce the Ace of Brake-fixing and Megara were also eating pizza. They had three female cubs. He sang opera as entertainment for dinner. I sang with him because my body was ready.
Paul the Goat rode Hollywood while they both ate pizza and floated in mid-air. They were jabbed and made their choice. Xara tried to tell them...
Kissy then ate Xara's pizza crust and meowed as though she were a wind-up toy. It was the longest and most beautiful meow I had ever heard. She was something. She was beautiful.
Miss Oreo ate a few pieces of chicken from a pizza and quickly meowed to give an extra musical quality to Kissy's already operatic wind-up toy meow. She then crawled on Xara's legs.
Macrula descended from Chronistica with a sense of urgency. He looked like a black and red bullet coming down at the swamp.
Count Macula, Jr. blinked as he looked at him and took a bite of his pizza. "Apparently we have entered Heaven. This pizza tastes like Heaven. Excuse me. I have a cub call to make. I have a cub call to make. I have a cub call to make. I have a cub call to make. I have a cub call to make. I have a cub call to make. I have a cub call to make. I have a cub call to make. I have a cub call fo make," he spoke before he growled a great cub growl nine times.
Bruce the Ace of Brake-fixing did some vocal exercises before he, too, joined in bear chorus.
I growled in bear chorus before Miss Oreo stole another bite of pizza from me. "OREO, lay down!" I growled at her. Miss Oreo stared at me before she continued to chew. That girl made us crazy sometimes. She needed an ass-beating.
Paul the Goat bleated before Hollywood neighed loudly.
Peter turned away from the scene with the small pig shifting his eyes rapidly, and he started to bleat before he looked up at Macrula and asked, "Who the hell are you?"
Macrula spoke with vigor, "I am Macrula, a dark angel with regrets, angel wings of redemption, and have traveled across many planes of existence. A cat called upon me. What shall she have me do?"
I have a boner. I could not describe how much I wanted to pull Xara's long brown straight hair and use it as a handle to yank her pussy back and forth on my cock. DAAYUMN!!!!!
Kissy looked at Miss Oreo. Miss Oreo looked at Kissy. They were confused cats.
Macrula spoke again, "I heard a cat that sounded like a wind-up toy."
Kissy looked at him and meowed again. "Sorry about that. I was excited about pizza crust. When I eat pizza crust, I'm in heaven. Thank you for coming."
"I added the high notes," Miss Oreo said.
"You are most welcome, cat of great beauty," he said. Yes, Kissy was a beautiful cat.
Miss Oreo screamed at him.
"CATS of great beauty. CATS! CATS! CATS! Excuse me. What shall you have me do for you?" Macrula asked.
"Well, we are having a great swamp party, despite the fact that the swaaaamp is completely dissemated," Kissy said as she meowed.
Miss Oreo meowed in agreement.
Pauno, a Greek God with green eyes and black curly-hair and Artemis, the alleged Greek Goddess of nature, hunting, chastity, and childbirth also wandered in the swamp. They also were eating pizza.
Kissy farted a loud and stinky fart. She blew serious ass.
Peter looked back at Kissy with a look of shock as he leaned away from her. "Oooof! What did she eat?" he mumbled and shrugged as he stared back at the monitor intently.
"Peter?!" Artemis said as she sat near him to watch the movie with him. "I didn't know you liked Animal Farm! It's one of my favorite dystopian movies ever." She ate another bite of pizza.
Peter looked over to Artemis before he spoke, "It seems appropriate. After all, we are living in dystopian times. Communism is becoming a thing." He sighed and rolled his eyes. "I don't even recognize this country anymore."
The swamp bubbled up before a woman with long red hair like Jessica Rabbit in "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" started crawling from the large puddle in the middle of said swamp. She was covered in mud and leaves. She looked familiar. She looked like a mud-covered Poison Ivy from the DC Comics. She then went over and hugged Peter around his waist. At least she defied the social distancing laws that were in place by Biden's rule.
Of course we all know that Biden isn't actually the one in charge. He answers to the Illuminati, a bunch of Reptilian elites who rule the world under Satan's law.
"Hey, Peter," the Poison Ivy cosplayer in mud said as she kissed the left side of Peter's neck.
Peter smiled and put his long fingers around those of the woman. "Oh hey, Jessica. Why the hell did you emerge from the mud?"
I then growled a great bear growl with force before announcing, "That's great, Jessica Rabbit! Now if you excuse me, I need to lick ass." I jumped up and mauled Xara before putting my head in her ass.
"BAE WHUHH!!!!" Xara shouted as she shook her divine booty and did the backfat dance in front of everyone. She was bleeding like a stuffed pig. Xara's ass is the best form of meat. All it needs is bear white sauce with extra honey, if you know what I mean.
I growled in her rear end before I stuffed my tongue deep into her ass and started to lick as though it were a honey hive. Her chocolate was dee-dee-deelicious. Lucky Charms had nothing on this.
Macrula laughed a hearty laugh before he addressed Kissy and Miss Oreo. "I am not going to lick your cat asses if that's what you are implying."
I hope not. Please don't lick cat asses. That's disturbing.
Kissy looked at Macrula in confusion before she meowed again. "No. I definitely did not call you for that. I simply meowed out of enjoying pizza crust," she said.
"You would do that?" Miss Oreo asked with her head cocked to the side.
We went down the swamp drain in a clockwise direction because we were in North America. No one is going to lick cat ass.
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There were pictures of Xara all around this mansion. I was in some of the photos. Other photos had late Oreo, Sr., late Garfield, Kissy, and Miss Oreo. There was one photo that all of us together. That's strange. Oreo, Sr. passed away before Miss Oreo was born.
At that moment, I realized I wasn't in reality. I was located in Xara's mind. And I was floating. I heard echoing voices in the distant saying "BaeWhuhh."
"Baebae!" I shouted quickly. My penis was as hard as a diamond. Then the head of my penis turned into a diamond with a slit in it. I burped.
Our cats and four other people were floating with me.
Jessica Rabbit, an actual white rabbit with red flowing hair on top of her head was in Xara's mind with me.
"Where are we?" she asked me.
"In my wife's mind," I said as I started to rub my diamond head against the wall of Xara's brain. I growled like the King Bear I was. My growl echoed throughout her head. It felt so good. I growled louder, and the world started to shake.
....
I heard DarthSydePhineas shout, "HE RAGEQUIT!" before he cackled again.
"Oh you're so good, Phil," I said sarcastically with a chuckle. My diamond head exploded and popped off of my penis. I heard it clank at the bottom of Xara's intestine. That felt nice! My honey spurted.
Chun Li was flying and making noises as she was kicking in the air.
"Where am I going?!" Jessica Rabbit called loudly as she got caught in the river of my bear juice.
"I don't I don't know," I called. "Isn't that stupid? I'm sorry, bae, but it's stupid. Hahahuehue. Random upside down kick? That's so stupid." I then laughed like the Chinaman on the pranking soundboard. "DarthSydePhineas actually makes me hurt."
A large female angel with white wings, straight brown hair, and blue eyes flew around and was drinking my flowing bear juice. Xara was floating with me and beating my bear butt. There was another angelic woman who had red hair, green eyes, and a few freckles on her face.
"Excuse me. I am going to be expelled in 30 seconds. I have a therapy appointment in Xara's bottom. Do you mind, sir?" Jessica Rabbit asked.
I flew to the top of Xara's mind, but my eyes remained on Jessica Rabbit. Xara farted loudly. The sound of that tuba made my ears bleed.
"Owwwww! My ears!" I shouted. I sighed. "Oh my!!!"
Xara pooped loudly and expelled Jessica Rabbit into the toilet that she was sitting on.
"May I have ice cream with cinnamon and grapes?" I asked. I discovered that I was allergic to chocolate a few months ago. It causes my gout to flare up. That sucks because chocolate is one of my favorite foods. And I have an underlying kidney issue, so I can't have too much salt or potassium. I have to be careful.
Xara then manifested a bowl of vanilla ice cream with cinnamon and grapes and gave it to me. Kissy and Miss Oreo were licking from a fountain of ice cream that flowed in the middle of Xara's brain.
"There isn't enough ice cream to satisfy me!" I shouted with a bear growl.
Xara then formed a mountain of ice cream that cosumed me. And then I consumed the ice cream.
"You grab the ice cream and take the ice cream if you want it," Xara said. "BaeBaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Baeabaaaaaaaaaeeee heyheyheyhey!!!"
Truer words have never been spoken.
"Thank you," I said as I shot cum in her mouth.
Xara held me in an embrace of tree vines that came from the walls of her mind. She wrapped them around my legs, groin, and chest. He bounced me around.
Miss Oreo laid next to her before she put her ass near Xara's hand. Xara beat that cat's ass. Miss Oreo was growling a song of pleasure to the rhythm of Xara's beats. Kissy floated on Xara's head and tried to eat my ice cream again.
I floated down to Xara's asshole and growled loudly as my tongue licked wonders inside of her anus. "I am the easiest person to get along with. I'm a passionate bear. I love you," I said.
"Ooh hoo Bae!!!!!" Xara shouted in excitement. "You are wonderful. I love you, too, beast."
"I love you," I said.
Macrula and the redheaded angel with green eyes sang and danced to an angelic duet of Michael Jackson and Whitney Spleen's "The Way You Make Me Feel" to celebrate our love.
Macrula shouted, "Go on girl!" as he instantly changed into a purple suit with a forest green shirt and a lavender tie, a black top hat, and black dress shoes.
The redheaded angel and the brunette angel transformed into women with straw hats with ribbon around the base, sundresses down to their knees, and high heels.
The redhead's hat had a red ribbon. She wore a red dress with yellow flowers on it and red high heels.
The brunette's hat had a blue ribbon. She wore a pale blue dress with bright purple flowers and blue high heels.
Macrula started singing, "Hey pretty baby with the high heels on
You give me fever
Like I've never, ever known
You're just a product of loveliness
I like the groove of your walk,
Your talk, your dress
I feel your fever
From miles around
I'll pick you up in my car
And we'll paint the town
Just kiss me baby
And tell me twice
That you're the one for me."
Xara, Macrula, the redhead, the brunette, and I were transferred to Chronistica, a place with warped clocks similar to those depicted in Salvador Dali's paintings, clouds, and blue skies.
Macrula continued to sing. "THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL!" He then summoned a cane.
The redheaded and brunette summoned their canes and began to sing and dance, "The Way You Make Me Feel!"
Macrula then sang again, "You really turn me on!"
Disco lights shown down at the three angels.
The brunette and redhead started to line dance and sing, "You really turn me on!".
"You really knock me off my feet!" Macrula sang before the women pulled his legs with the canes and literally knocked him off his feet.
Xara and I chuckled. Xara beat me in rhythm to the song as it played.
"You knock me off my feet!" the brunette and redhead sang as Macrula dragged their legs down and literally knocked them off their feet.
Macrula got up and sang, "My lonely days are gone!"
The women got up and sang, "My lonely days are gone."
They stood up straight before they started tap dancing with their canes and spinning around.
"I like the feeling you're giving me," the redhead sang as she looked at Macrula.
"Just hold me baby, and I'm in ecstasy," the brunette said as she grabbed Macrula.
The redhead whacked the brunette. Xara whacked me.
Then Macrula stepped out of the line and sang, "Oh I'll be workin' from nine to five.
To buy you things to keep you by my side."
The redhead sang, "I never felt so in love before. Just promise baby, you'll love me forevermore."
Macrula and the redhead sang, "I swear I'm keepin' you satisfied. 'Cause you're the one for me! The way you make me feel!"
The redhead, brunette, and Macrula sang, "The way you make me feel!" They all started their dance with their canes.
Macrula sang as he danced with his cane, "You really turn me good.'"
The redheaded angel sang as she danced near Macrula, "You really turn me on!"
Then a bunch of women wearing straw hats with assorted color ribbons, assorted knee-length sundresses, and assorted colored high heels sang, "You knock me offa my feet now Baby!"
Music played for a second before they sang again, "You knock me off of my feet!"
They swayed their hips, planted their feet firmly on the large cloud between them, and tapped their canes on either side of their feet.
"My lonely days are gone," Macrula sang as he did a dramatic jump in the air and then tap danced with his cane.
"My lonely days are gone," the brunette and redhead sang as they tap danced with their canes on either side of him.
Music played while they danced a jig with their canes.
"Go on girl!" Macrula sang. He sang a few angelic notes before he repeated. "Go on girl!" He sang a series of soprano notes. "Go on girl!"
Music played for a moment while they danced again.
"I never felt so in love before!" the brown-haired angel sang.
"Promise baby, you'll love me forevermore!" the redheaded angel sang.
"I swear I'm keepin' you satisfied," all three angels sang. "'Cause you're the one for me!"
The females in the background sang, "The way you make me feel!".
"The way you make me feel!" Macrula sang loudly.
"You really turn me on," the females sang.
"You really turn me on," Macrula sang.
"You really knock me off of my feet now baby!" they all sang. "You knock me off of my feet!"
"My lonely days are gone!" the females sang.
"My lonely days are gone!" Macrula sang before he said, "Ain't nobody's business. Ain't nobody's business. "
The females sang, "The way you make me feel!"
I then jumped in and started dancing and singing, "Ain't nobody's business, Ain't nobody's business but Mine and my baby."
The females sang, "You really turn me on!"
Macrula sang, "You knock me off of my feet Oh Baby!"
I sang, "My lonely days are gone!" I then growled like the bear I was a few times and danced with the tap dancers with poles.
Macrula then took over the song and sang, "Give it to me, give me some time!"
"The way you make me feel!" the females sang.
"Come on be my girl, I want to be with mine," Macrula sang.
"You really turn me on," the females sang.
"Ain't nobody's business," Macrula sang.
"You knock me off of my feet!" the females sang.
"Ain't nobody's business but mine and my baby's," Macrula sang before he looked intently at the redhead. "Go on, girl! Yoowwwl!!!"
"My lonely days are gone," the redhead sang as she stared back at Macrula.
"Hee hee! Aaow! Chika, chika Chika, chika, chika! Go on girl!, Hee hee!" Macrula sang as he jerked his body back and forth and took one step forward with his cane and one step back with his cane.
"The way you make me feel," the females sang.
"Ee hee hee!" Macrula chanted.
"You really turn me on... you knock me off of my feet... my lonely days are gone!" the females sang before we were abruptly gone from Chronistica.
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On Peachtree Boulevard in Atlanta, GA, the beginning of Count Vanilla's "Ice Cream Baby" song played in the background. (It sounded like Vanilla Ice's "Ice Ice Baby" and "Under Pressure" by David Bowie and Queen.)
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Count Vanilla, the vampyric snow white cub formerly known as Count Macula, Jr. asked dramatically as he froze and was wearing an off-white bandana over his forehead, baggy khakis pants, blue and white high-top Converse shoes, and an off-white cotton collared shirt with a pocket on the left side of his chest.
Bruce Ice, formerly known as Bruce the Ace of Brake-fixing, Bruce Ace, and Agent A-B A-B, was dancing on the boulevard and wearing a blue bandana over his forehead, baggy blue jeans, a baggy blue and silver Tye Dye shirt, and pale blue high-top Converse shoes. He yelled, "Yo V.I.P! Let's kick it! Count Vanilla, let's go!" He then kicked a Mackerel across the boulevard.
Music continued, and Count Vanilla started rapping between beats of the music, "Ice cream, baby. Ice cream, baby. Ice cream, baby. Ice cream, baby. Ice cream, baby. Ice cream, baby. Ice cream, baby. Ice cream, baby. Ice cream, baby."
Then I jumped on the scene with my purple banana, white shirt, baggy black shorts, and black and green New Balance shoes before I rapped when the song in the background temporarily changed to "I'm Rich" by Jeezy, "I don't give a fuck, I'm rich bitch here! Three cars and a truck, I'm rich bitch here! I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!"
Macrula and Bruce Ice started busting up laughing. Macrula was still wearing his purple suit with a green shirt and lavender tie, black dress shoes, and a black top hat.
"That's the wrong song, but I like it. I wish we were rapping that one," Bruce Ice said.
"Why can't we? "Ice Cream Baby" is so overplayed and boring. I heard it all throughout my childhood. Why can't we rap about being rich bears if we're going to be full-on ignorant?" I asked.
Count Vanilla said flatly. "I don't know the words to that song, nor am I rich. I don't know the words to that song, nor am I rich. I don't know the words to that song, nor am I rich. I don't know the words to that song, nor am I rich. I don't know the words to that song, nor am I rich. I don't know the words to that song, nor am I rich. I don't know the words to that song, nor am I rich. I don't know the words to that song, nor am I rich. I don't know the words to that song, nor am I rich."
"Okay. Do you know "I'm Broke" by Xara Si?" I asked.
"Yes!" Count Vanilla said. "Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes." My kind of bear!
Peter then walked over to us with a bigass brown curly afro from the 1970s that extended a foot high, a yellow headband, a white baggy shirt, purple basketball shorts, and white and brown tennis shoes. "That's my favorite song from Xara Si," he said with his trademark loud laugh.
"The song depicts most people's financial situation very accurately," Jessica Rabbit said. She wore a gray business suit with a white shirt, red tie, and sparkly red high-heeled shoes.
"I think Xara Si is about to rap it for us. She's aggravated about her bills," Peter said flatly. I just noticed that he was not wearing glasses.
My wife then walked over to us with her short legs as she wore her sunglasses as a headband, a baggy blue shirt with bleach stains on it, baggy blue jeans, and black high-top Converses.
She rapped the following:
"'I don't give a fuck, I'm broke, bitch here!
I'm eating ramen and a plum, I'm broke, bitch here.
Hit the bank an' rob it up.
I don't give a fuck, I'm broke, bitch here!
I'm eating ramen and a plum, I'm broke, bitch here.
Hit the bank an' rob it up."
Then she growled this lyric, "I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!"
Then she continued to rap:
"Chillin' in the fridge but my ass ain't eatin'. I'm eating vanilla ice cream, so I'm still losin'.
Crackers thick with it, ain't shit you can tell 'em 6:45 mean it's quarter to 7
Lookin' like actin' oughta be a part of the Old Timers
Black on burgundy, slush, he got the fake bedliner Short ass hit the bank, and he eatin' up everything.
Like the way her debt hang down to her derriere (YUCK!)
And Campy what the fuck name needed Young broke stale cracker, and yeah I'm shittarded. And I'm nothin' like them other gals I'm pure shit, bitch, you can't tell me otherwise.
I don't give a fuck, I'm broke, bitch here!
I'm eating ramen and a plum, I'm broke bitch here.
Hit the bank an' rob it up.
So whatchu laughin' at teapot? I don't see shit funny I wasn't rappin' bout it cat, I was really gettin' in debt I was really on the streets, I was really gettin' changed I was really stackin' big bills, I really drove a Ram And that's Lemon, teapot Campin ELL, straight cleaner, teapot rapid streaks on the dumpster, it was so gross had outta state thug when I was 17. A young teacup that was way lame I had shit life when I was in middle school Ay, 'cause if you buyin' they sell Look I ain't exaggerating cat, I ain't lyin'
I don't give a fuck, I'm broke, bitch, here!
I'm eating ramen and a plum, I'm broke, bitch here!
Hit the bank an' rob it up.
Ay, they say the crackers from the box.
If the teapots from the kettle how she live so bad? And I hate the way she sits there. Spent so much paper just to go to school (Ugh!) You told me time is wasted. Dropped seventy on the student loan bill, time is wasted I heard she never had a chance. And if she never had a chance, why she try so hard? See her throwin' ones off in the damn dumpster But ain't never seen that bitch off on Facebook Ads. She must've played in the Magic Shop 'Cause she standing there, draped in all that despair.
I don't give a fuck, I'm broke, bitch here!
I'm eating ramen and a plum, I'm broke, bitch here!
Hit the bank an' rob it up."
I sighed as I stared at her. "That song was depressing. Now I want ice cream!!!!" I shouted.
"Yes Bae Whuhhhh!!! Ice Cream Friday!!!!" Xara shouted. "I'm always hungry."
"I love ice cream, but you know what I hate?" Count Vanilla asked.
"What? Crackers?" Xara asked as she smirked and saw the last mothball fly out of her wallet. Damn she fuckin' broke.
"Haha Yes, but you know what I hate more than crackers?" Count Vanilla asked.
"What?" Xara asked.
A torrential downpour of rain fell down on us unexpectedly.
The brown-haired angel spoke as a matter-of-factly, "You shouldn't have disrespected the famous snack known as a cracker. That offends the completely fake idea of white privilege. Get the fuck out of here. We gonna get tea and crackers? We gonna get tea and crackers! Xara, your rap was depressing and true at the same time. Are you really that pathetic? Are you really that pathetic? Do you see God's love? Do you see God's love?! That's what's gonna carry us. Not money. God is here, you idiot. You see him shine in the sky! Christina, Ultimate Angel of Light, help me show her the way. Amen. Praise God. GO SING, COUNT. BLESS YOU!!!"
"Radiated Refried Beans!" Count Vanilla rapped with the same melody as Xara Si rapped a minute ago. "Radiated Refried Beans! Radiated Refried Beans! Radiated Refried Beans! Radiated Refried Beans Radiated Refried Beans! Radiated Refried Beans! Radiated Refried Beans! Radiated Refried Beans!"
"Oh yes! Recreational Radiated Refried Beans!" Xara shouted.
The brown and red-haired angels and I sang songs of yesterday to each other. We had great voices.
"I'm speechless!" I continued. "My finances. Broke. Count Vanilla is ice. GOOD SONG, Christina. You. Glow. Bright light."
Xara and Macrula just burst out laughing with joy. They love when angels sing. I was rejoicing in the Word of the Lord.
Everyone surrendered to His will. This is Coming to Christ in 2021. Best thing ever. I felt whole again.
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Bruce Ice, Count Vanilla, and I growled loudly in excitement. The trees in the forest on the Green Planet shook from the energy we were exerting with our growls. We were bears.
"You all have problems. Would you all like to make appointments?" Jessica Rabbit asked as she flew down to us with her large white wings.
Peter snorted as he folded his arms across his muscular chest.
"Would you like to explain what happened?" Jessica Rabbit asked.
"No!" Peter shouted.
"Peter is ignorant. Can we have gyros to deal with the stress? Maybe radiated refried beans as a side dish if possible," Artemis, the alleged Greek Goddess of Nature, Hunting, Chasity, and Childbirth said.
"Love 'em," Pauno said. "I shall make gyros rain from the sky!" He threw lightning bolts in the air. The only thing that happened was that Pauno made tzakiki sauce. "What the fuck?"
Macrula sniffed the air. His nose curled back in disgust. "Yeah. I don't know what happened! It must be the damn war near Greece causing the interference in food magic," he said as he scratched his chin that had a red beard on it.
Bruce Ice, Count Vanilla, and I growled angrily like cubs. I added a "Gay!" to the end of my long series of growls.
Paul the Goat made a series of bleats in disgust. Hollywood charged away with Paul the Goat on his back. Both of them neighed in frustration. The swamp golem hobbled after them.
Pauno growled angrily as well because he was looking forward to gyros.