A Whole Bear World, part 2
A/N: The program restarted with Colonel America's fart.
Preston Nichols, the scientist from Project Montauk said, "The Time Is Now! The Time is Now!"
Colonel America screamed as he charged toward us with the Thor hammer in hand.
Dallas and I were taken aback while John Wayne said, "Maybe I should have taken out that life insurance policy after all..." He stared at Colonel America as he spoke.
Joebear then growled loudly before the spider ran away in fright.
A truck then ran into Colonel America before it exploded.
"What the hell was that?..." John Wayne asked as he stared at the explosion with wide eyes.
Bruce the Ace of Brake-fixing came over and said, "A manifestation of being overworked and depressed..."
John Wayne cleared his throat. "Thank you for the clarification," he said.
"First spiders, then Preston Nichols, and now exploding trucks. This world is more frustrated than Earth," Joebear said.
"At least we can express it, though," I said.
"At least that!" Joebear agreed.
Bruce the Ace of Brake-fixing, Kurt from Hatari, John Wayne, and Dallas nodded their heads and stated their agreement.
"BaeBae BaeBae BaeBae!!!!" I sang.
"BaeBae BaeBae BaeBae!!!!" Joebear sang.
"BaeBae BaeBae BaeBae!!!!" I sang again.
"BaeBae BaeBae BaeBae!!!!" Joebear sang again
"BAEBAE!!!!!" Joebear and I sang.
As a result of us singing, the trees were lighting on fire again, and Kurt was hiding behind a tree while monkeys were flying out of the tree and screaming. Some of them were coming at us.
"Holy Shit! Not again," Joebear growled as he ran away on all fours.
Bruce the Ace of Brake-fixing hauled ass out of there for a moment.
I ran away from the monkeys and caught up with Joebear and Bruce the Ace of Brake-fixing.
John Wayne was throwing food at the monkeys to get them off our tracks.
Dallas rode away on an elephant.
Alex Trebek came back and spoke about his Colonial Penn Life insurance.
John Wayne yelled "Give it a rest!" before he shot Alex Trebek in the head.
The monkeys then went over and started eating Alex Trebek's dead body.
Joebear, Bruce the Ace of Brake-fixing, and I ended up running in a water hole. A rocket continued down into the bottom of the water hole. Steam erupted from the water hole.
Joebear, Bruce the Ace of Brake-fixing, and I were drinking from the water hole and swimming. They were laughing as they splashed me. I laughed and splashed them back before I farted in the water by accident. Extremely unpleasant-smelling little gray creatures started erupting from the surface. They had small gray bodies and all black eyes; they smelled like rotting feces and decaying bodies. I jumped back away from them and pinched my nose.
Joebear swam away and screamed while I swam casually away. Bruce the Ace of Brake-fixing froze in the water and turned into a giant statue that existed in the middle of the watering hole.
"Yep... Should have bought that life insurance policy," John Wayne said.
Colonel America rushed in again and started smashing the little gray creatures that were in the water with us. Some had come out and attacked nearby animals.
"Die, mother fucker, die!!" Colonel America yelled as he smashed one gray creature after another.
Joebear then mauled the little gray creatures on the land and growled.
Eight-foot raptors started running toward us. The little gray creatures growled and started attacking them.
My shoulders tensed up as I was ready to fight these crazy creatures, and mountains started forming around me. My stomach was growling, and the water hole turned into an acid pit that smelled like Lysol. The little gray creatures had no mouth, so they breathed, ate, and excreted out of their skin. They were growing bigger and getting drunk and happy from the acidic lysol-like substance.
Colonel America just stared at the gray creatures in confusion. "What the fuck? They're getting drunk off that stuff?" he asked.
Joebear stared at the creatures in disbelief. "Uhhhh what? They drink Lysol???? Yeah that's fucked up!" The little gray creatures are hoarding the lysol in supermarkets so that literally no one on Earth can find them.
"Yeah, I know, dudes," I said as I cracked up in disbelief.
Colonel America smiled and walked over to us and said, "You know, I feel strangely happy. It's like their happiness is contagious. That's strange..."
I smiled back. "Yeah. It's like, if other people are okay, I'm okay," I said.
"But those things are demons...." Joebear said as he stared at the gray creatures with disgust.
"True, but at least they aren't EATING US!!!" I exclaimed.
"NO BUT THE RAPTORS MIGHT!!!!!!" Colonel America screamed as they went through the lysol watering hole.
Joebear growled at them and backed away before he remembered a clip from the Project Montauk video we were shown before we joined this new world mainframe: https://youtu.be/xwj2asmeqmI 1:27:00 - 1:29:40
"DRANO!!! THAT WILL CALM THEM DOWN!!!" Joebear yelled.
Joebear and I manifested bottles of Drano all over the place.
The raptors picked up the bottles and started drinking them before they danced around and sang.
Colonel America, Joebear, Bruce the Ace of Brake-fixing, John Wayne, and I laughed our heads off. John Wayne manifested moonshine and started to drink it.
Within a few minutes, John Wayne started to dance with the gray monsters and raptors. The little gray creatures sounded like murlocs and frolicked happily in the grass.
A summer rain fell all of a sudden. The little gray creatures screamed before they retreated back into the water hole of lysol-like acid. Apparently, rain water is poison to them.
Interesting. In this world, acid rain doesn't exist.
"YOU GOTTA CLIMB IN A DRYER!!!! BAD THINGS HAPPEN IF YOU DON'T!!!" Sonic the Hedgehog screamed.
All of a sudden, a dryer appeared in the middle of the field.
Kissy also appeared and ran straight for the dryer. Sonic the Hedgehog opened the dryer, and Kissy jumped in it.
Joebear, Colonel America, Bruce the Ace of Brake-fixing, John Wayne, and I were running toward the dryer. John Wayne was still holding his bottle of moonshine.
Gabby and Murphee the Ace of Munching also joined us to climb in the dryer.
"Hurry up before the rain stops!" Sonic the Hedgehog yelled.
The raptors ran out of Drano and yelled before chasing us. The gray creatures were still getting drunk on the lysol.
We all ran faster to get in the dryer.
DarthSydePhineas, a famous video game streamer, also jumped in the dryer. "I CAN'T DO ANYTHING!!!!" he yelled.
We all quickly got in the dryer before the raptors knocked it on its side.
Sonic the Hedgehog turned on the dryer, and we were tumbling throughout time.
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"Kissy! Get your fat ass out of the dryer!!!" I yelled as I was in a room similar to the laundry room/Joebear's closet at home.
Kissy jumped out of the dryer and attacked my nipples.
"Oh man. It's super effective!" DarthSydePhineas yelled. "Aha!!!! Come on, Hot Stuff, yeah!!! Rabboot! That's cool-looking."
We then were transferred to the Nintendo Switch Pokemon world. It had cheaper graphics than the other versions of Pokemon. DarthSydePhil was playing the game while we were just kind of there. He was almost to his tip goal of $100 on TwitchTV streaming.
Joebear was narrating the events side by side with Gabby. They were both wearing business suits. Joebear also mentioned that he was too big to be a piiiig.
Lindsay and Prince Carrington, two of my friends from Savannah, were playing Pokemon Go in some group's house in the middle of the street. The 80s song "Our House In The Middle Of The Street" started playing in the background.
Kissy was wrestling with a Pokeball in the middle of the same house.
Joebear's left foot twitched in excitement over me.
"You're so sexy. Why are you so sexy?" he asked.
"Because I can be," I said before I sang. "BAEBAE!!!!"
"You have a nice ass. In other news, most Twitch streamers are boring to watch," Joebear said.
"In fact, most movies from this time period are boring. Most movies made after 2011 are unoriginal. I must say that at least Passengers in 2016 with Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence is an excellent movie," Gabby added. "Meow."
"PASSENGERS IS MY ALL-TIME FAVORITE MOVIE! But The Big Year is a close second," Colonel America added.
Garfield nudged my back with his nose and meowed a few times.
"Relax! I see you," I said as I laid down and petted him. He kissed my nose and meowed again.
"Lay down! Quit goddammit!" I said as I pet him again and laughed.
He gave me another kiss and started walking around.
"Garfield, what are you doing?!" Joebear asked.
Garfield jumped up on the card table in a room that looked like mine and laid down. He then stood back up on the table and meowed loudly and for a long time.
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We were then transferred to the Street Fighter III: Third Strike universe.
Garfield was fighting a life-size pillow.
Joebear was fighting a large computer. "I don't want to do this fuck you," he said.
Garfield purred and meowed as he laid on the pillow.
Joebear and I were fighting with drinking water with a lot of Himalayan sea salt. We were drinking it angrily.
"It tastes like piss water," Joebear said.
"Yes," I said.
"But it's good for us," he said. "I need rubs."
"Yyyyyeeeeesssss, baewhuhh!!!" I sang as I rubbed his head.
Kissy was fighting with a purple ball and was running.
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Kissy ran into the Path of Exile universe.
"Oh God they made Devour a boss! Wow. Major damage!" Joebear yelled as he saw a tree demon coming out of the ground.
"How lame," I said as I tried to put it to sleep.
"Herpy derpy," Joebear said. "They did a nice job graphically speaking... Oh God a British man just died... TRY using shift, bro. What's with this click and point bullshit? He's a streamer, too. Ugh. Truckers with the Trucker hats. Dumbest like... I wouldn't call it fashion. It's just gay. It's ugh...." He shook his head.
Kissy ran over and angrily chewed his printed guide of Path of Exile. "Fuck on this game! Fuck on this game! I hate this game! I want nothing to do with this game!" she screamed as she attacked the pamphlet.
Joebear laughed hardcore, and the frame faded out.
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Garfield meowed and purred loudly at me.
Joebear then had to take a giant dump, so he went in the woods and did his business. He manifested a hose to rinse his butt.
I had to pee, so I went in the woods and did my business. I installed a hose in the tree and rinsed my lady parts.
John Wayne and his buddy, Pockets, from Hatari entered the woods. Rhinos were trampling as they were peeing.
"Would anyone like a hose?" I offered.
"The rhinos," John Wayne said.
I rinsed the rhinos off.
John Wayne, Pockets, and Brandy sang the song of "I Want to Go Home." Murphee the Ace of Munching howled loudly and sang along. They disappeared.
Alex Trebek was talking about the Colonel Penn program. "Call now! It's a good price if you are on a tight budget or fixed income. Best of all, once you're done, you have a money back guarantee. Use your pamphlet to record information."
Tom Selleck talked about a reverse mortgage from AAG. Tim and Lorraine Black, an interracial couple I met in March of 2020, hate that commercial. Tim gave him a death stare with his icy blue eyes while Lorraine was trying to get into the Magnum PI universe.
Joebear shook his head. "Are they trying to tell us we're going to die soon?" he asked. "Also, I want to get 50-yard running start to put a haymaker on that mother fucker."
Tim Black burst out laughing and held his sides because they were splitting.
"I think so," I said with a laugh. My laugh lasted for a minute and a half.
"I need champagne to deal with this stress!" Colonel America yelled.
I grabbed a bottle of Asti Spumante and a glass and gave them to him. He opened the bottle and poured it in a glass before drinking it.
Kissy did a sneak attack and bit Joebear's bear butt.
"Yooohowhow!!! Kissy, you big bitch!!!" Joebear yelled with a laugh.
Colonel America drank his champagne and laughed loudly and heartily. I also cracked up. Kissy pawed Joebear's butt.
"This damn cat," Joebear said as he lifted Kissy and tickled her.
Kissy sounded like a broken wind-up toy.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
A 50-foot-Tyrannosayrus Rex mother then shrieked with booming volume as her head bobbled back and forth on her neck. She then took a swig of Drano.
Preston Nichols, the scientist from Project Montauk said, "The Time Is Now! The Time is Now!"
Colonel America screamed as he charged toward us with the Thor hammer in hand.
Dallas and I were taken aback while John Wayne said, "Maybe I should have taken out that life insurance policy after all..." He stared at Colonel America as he spoke.
Joebear then growled loudly before the spider ran away in fright.
A truck then ran into Colonel America before it exploded.
"What the hell was that?..." John Wayne asked as he stared at the explosion with wide eyes.
Bruce the Ace of Brake-fixing came over and said, "A manifestation of being overworked and depressed..."
John Wayne cleared his throat. "Thank you for the clarification," he said.
"First spiders, then Preston Nichols, and now exploding trucks. This world is more frustrated than Earth," Joebear said.
"At least we can express it, though," I said.
"At least that!" Joebear agreed.
Bruce the Ace of Brake-fixing, Kurt from Hatari, John Wayne, and Dallas nodded their heads and stated their agreement.
"BaeBae BaeBae BaeBae!!!!" I sang.
"BaeBae BaeBae BaeBae!!!!" Joebear sang.
"BaeBae BaeBae BaeBae!!!!" I sang again.
"BaeBae BaeBae BaeBae!!!!" Joebear sang again
"BAEBAE!!!!!" Joebear and I sang.
As a result of us singing, the trees were lighting on fire again, and Kurt was hiding behind a tree while monkeys were flying out of the tree and screaming. Some of them were coming at us.
"Holy Shit! Not again," Joebear growled as he ran away on all fours.
Bruce the Ace of Brake-fixing hauled ass out of there for a moment.
I ran away from the monkeys and caught up with Joebear and Bruce the Ace of Brake-fixing.
John Wayne was throwing food at the monkeys to get them off our tracks.
Dallas rode away on an elephant.
Alex Trebek came back and spoke about his Colonial Penn Life insurance.
John Wayne yelled "Give it a rest!" before he shot Alex Trebek in the head.
The monkeys then went over and started eating Alex Trebek's dead body.
Joebear, Bruce the Ace of Brake-fixing, and I ended up running in a water hole. A rocket continued down into the bottom of the water hole. Steam erupted from the water hole.
Joebear, Bruce the Ace of Brake-fixing, and I were drinking from the water hole and swimming. They were laughing as they splashed me. I laughed and splashed them back before I farted in the water by accident. Extremely unpleasant-smelling little gray creatures started erupting from the surface. They had small gray bodies and all black eyes; they smelled like rotting feces and decaying bodies. I jumped back away from them and pinched my nose.
Joebear swam away and screamed while I swam casually away. Bruce the Ace of Brake-fixing froze in the water and turned into a giant statue that existed in the middle of the watering hole.
"Yep... Should have bought that life insurance policy," John Wayne said.
Colonel America rushed in again and started smashing the little gray creatures that were in the water with us. Some had come out and attacked nearby animals.
"Die, mother fucker, die!!" Colonel America yelled as he smashed one gray creature after another.
Joebear then mauled the little gray creatures on the land and growled.
Eight-foot raptors started running toward us. The little gray creatures growled and started attacking them.
My shoulders tensed up as I was ready to fight these crazy creatures, and mountains started forming around me. My stomach was growling, and the water hole turned into an acid pit that smelled like Lysol. The little gray creatures had no mouth, so they breathed, ate, and excreted out of their skin. They were growing bigger and getting drunk and happy from the acidic lysol-like substance.
Colonel America just stared at the gray creatures in confusion. "What the fuck? They're getting drunk off that stuff?" he asked.
Joebear stared at the creatures in disbelief. "Uhhhh what? They drink Lysol???? Yeah that's fucked up!" The little gray creatures are hoarding the lysol in supermarkets so that literally no one on Earth can find them.
"Yeah, I know, dudes," I said as I cracked up in disbelief.
Colonel America smiled and walked over to us and said, "You know, I feel strangely happy. It's like their happiness is contagious. That's strange..."
I smiled back. "Yeah. It's like, if other people are okay, I'm okay," I said.
"But those things are demons...." Joebear said as he stared at the gray creatures with disgust.
"True, but at least they aren't EATING US!!!" I exclaimed.
"NO BUT THE RAPTORS MIGHT!!!!!!" Colonel America screamed as they went through the lysol watering hole.
Joebear growled at them and backed away before he remembered a clip from the Project Montauk video we were shown before we joined this new world mainframe: https://youtu.be/xwj2asmeqmI 1:27:00 - 1:29:40
"DRANO!!! THAT WILL CALM THEM DOWN!!!" Joebear yelled.
Joebear and I manifested bottles of Drano all over the place.
The raptors picked up the bottles and started drinking them before they danced around and sang.
Colonel America, Joebear, Bruce the Ace of Brake-fixing, John Wayne, and I laughed our heads off. John Wayne manifested moonshine and started to drink it.
Within a few minutes, John Wayne started to dance with the gray monsters and raptors. The little gray creatures sounded like murlocs and frolicked happily in the grass.
A summer rain fell all of a sudden. The little gray creatures screamed before they retreated back into the water hole of lysol-like acid. Apparently, rain water is poison to them.
Interesting. In this world, acid rain doesn't exist.
"YOU GOTTA CLIMB IN A DRYER!!!! BAD THINGS HAPPEN IF YOU DON'T!!!" Sonic the Hedgehog screamed.
All of a sudden, a dryer appeared in the middle of the field.
Kissy also appeared and ran straight for the dryer. Sonic the Hedgehog opened the dryer, and Kissy jumped in it.
Joebear, Colonel America, Bruce the Ace of Brake-fixing, John Wayne, and I were running toward the dryer. John Wayne was still holding his bottle of moonshine.
Gabby and Murphee the Ace of Munching also joined us to climb in the dryer.
"Hurry up before the rain stops!" Sonic the Hedgehog yelled.
The raptors ran out of Drano and yelled before chasing us. The gray creatures were still getting drunk on the lysol.
We all ran faster to get in the dryer.
DarthSydePhineas, a famous video game streamer, also jumped in the dryer. "I CAN'T DO ANYTHING!!!!" he yelled.
We all quickly got in the dryer before the raptors knocked it on its side.
Sonic the Hedgehog turned on the dryer, and we were tumbling throughout time.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
"Kissy! Get your fat ass out of the dryer!!!" I yelled as I was in a room similar to the laundry room/Joebear's closet at home.
Kissy jumped out of the dryer and attacked my nipples.
"Oh man. It's super effective!" DarthSydePhineas yelled. "Aha!!!! Come on, Hot Stuff, yeah!!! Rabboot! That's cool-looking."
We then were transferred to the Nintendo Switch Pokemon world. It had cheaper graphics than the other versions of Pokemon. DarthSydePhil was playing the game while we were just kind of there. He was almost to his tip goal of $100 on TwitchTV streaming.
Joebear was narrating the events side by side with Gabby. They were both wearing business suits. Joebear also mentioned that he was too big to be a piiiig.
Lindsay and Prince Carrington, two of my friends from Savannah, were playing Pokemon Go in some group's house in the middle of the street. The 80s song "Our House In The Middle Of The Street" started playing in the background.
Kissy was wrestling with a Pokeball in the middle of the same house.
Joebear's left foot twitched in excitement over me.
"You're so sexy. Why are you so sexy?" he asked.
"Because I can be," I said before I sang. "BAEBAE!!!!"
"You have a nice ass. In other news, most Twitch streamers are boring to watch," Joebear said.
"In fact, most movies from this time period are boring. Most movies made after 2011 are unoriginal. I must say that at least Passengers in 2016 with Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence is an excellent movie," Gabby added. "Meow."
"PASSENGERS IS MY ALL-TIME FAVORITE MOVIE! But The Big Year is a close second," Colonel America added.
Garfield nudged my back with his nose and meowed a few times.
"Relax! I see you," I said as I laid down and petted him. He kissed my nose and meowed again.
"Lay down! Quit goddammit!" I said as I pet him again and laughed.
He gave me another kiss and started walking around.
"Garfield, what are you doing?!" Joebear asked.
Garfield jumped up on the card table in a room that looked like mine and laid down. He then stood back up on the table and meowed loudly and for a long time.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
We were then transferred to the Street Fighter III: Third Strike universe.
Garfield was fighting a life-size pillow.
Joebear was fighting a large computer. "I don't want to do this fuck you," he said.
Garfield purred and meowed as he laid on the pillow.
Joebear and I were fighting with drinking water with a lot of Himalayan sea salt. We were drinking it angrily.
"It tastes like piss water," Joebear said.
"Yes," I said.
"But it's good for us," he said. "I need rubs."
"Yyyyyeeeeesssss, baewhuhh!!!" I sang as I rubbed his head.
Kissy was fighting with a purple ball and was running.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Kissy ran into the Path of Exile universe.
"Oh God they made Devour a boss! Wow. Major damage!" Joebear yelled as he saw a tree demon coming out of the ground.
"How lame," I said as I tried to put it to sleep.
"Herpy derpy," Joebear said. "They did a nice job graphically speaking... Oh God a British man just died... TRY using shift, bro. What's with this click and point bullshit? He's a streamer, too. Ugh. Truckers with the Trucker hats. Dumbest like... I wouldn't call it fashion. It's just gay. It's ugh...." He shook his head.
Kissy ran over and angrily chewed his printed guide of Path of Exile. "Fuck on this game! Fuck on this game! I hate this game! I want nothing to do with this game!" she screamed as she attacked the pamphlet.
Joebear laughed hardcore, and the frame faded out.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Garfield meowed and purred loudly at me.
Joebear then had to take a giant dump, so he went in the woods and did his business. He manifested a hose to rinse his butt.
I had to pee, so I went in the woods and did my business. I installed a hose in the tree and rinsed my lady parts.
John Wayne and his buddy, Pockets, from Hatari entered the woods. Rhinos were trampling as they were peeing.
"Would anyone like a hose?" I offered.
"The rhinos," John Wayne said.
I rinsed the rhinos off.
John Wayne, Pockets, and Brandy sang the song of "I Want to Go Home." Murphee the Ace of Munching howled loudly and sang along. They disappeared.
Alex Trebek was talking about the Colonel Penn program. "Call now! It's a good price if you are on a tight budget or fixed income. Best of all, once you're done, you have a money back guarantee. Use your pamphlet to record information."
Tom Selleck talked about a reverse mortgage from AAG. Tim and Lorraine Black, an interracial couple I met in March of 2020, hate that commercial. Tim gave him a death stare with his icy blue eyes while Lorraine was trying to get into the Magnum PI universe.
Joebear shook his head. "Are they trying to tell us we're going to die soon?" he asked. "Also, I want to get 50-yard running start to put a haymaker on that mother fucker."
Tim Black burst out laughing and held his sides because they were splitting.
"I think so," I said with a laugh. My laugh lasted for a minute and a half.
"I need champagne to deal with this stress!" Colonel America yelled.
I grabbed a bottle of Asti Spumante and a glass and gave them to him. He opened the bottle and poured it in a glass before drinking it.
Kissy did a sneak attack and bit Joebear's bear butt.
"Yooohowhow!!! Kissy, you big bitch!!!" Joebear yelled with a laugh.
Colonel America drank his champagne and laughed loudly and heartily. I also cracked up. Kissy pawed Joebear's butt.
"This damn cat," Joebear said as he lifted Kissy and tickled her.
Kissy sounded like a broken wind-up toy.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
A 50-foot-Tyrannosayrus Rex mother then shrieked with booming volume as her head bobbled back and forth on her neck. She then took a swig of Drano.