Mixed Mind
what the fuck is wrong with me?
Im sitting here crying because Brian's being an ass, but no thats not the suprising part, obviously.
So heres the update with this..
Me n Bri have been talking for well months, as friends or what not. And idk why but lately he's been doing a lot of things he never do b4, stupid stuff, but helping me none the less. And the little things are what matter...to me anyway. And last night I stayed at his house, and he helped a lot with angel, and shes sick on top of it which made it a lot harder for him I know.
As stupid as this sounds, I think I fell in love with him all over again. Bleh wtf is wrong with me? ...Because now Im crying cuz of what 17 months go, when he left me. I mean honestly I so dont wanna be with someone who could leave his preg gf (at the time) and hes own kid...AND GET DRUNK and cheat on me. I mean we've dated since, but idk about him, but Ive been kinda like eh w-e about it, like I never actually cared any of these times we've been together (bri if u read this, im being honest and you know it anyhow prolli) cuz idk since he like really cheated on me and ignored his kid for months Ive hated him, been talking to him, trying not to hate him, but quite frankly I hated him. I mean if he loved me, he wouldnt excuse me...even couldnt have left me, and come on he couldnt have felt bad about it, he wouldnt take months to come back, a week maybe id forgive him, but i could never forgive him, even as much as i love him right now.
But the past few weeks idk, well the past few days Ive only wanted to be with him, and i was there last night, but tonight I found out he doesnt want me there......
he says he has stuff he has to do...but brians known for excuses, so yeah
im so glad i tossed all my blades sooo glad
PS PLZ DONT COMMENT ON THIS ENTRY, I FEEL SHITTY ENOUGH
Im sitting here crying because Brian's being an ass, but no thats not the suprising part, obviously.
So heres the update with this..
Me n Bri have been talking for well months, as friends or what not. And idk why but lately he's been doing a lot of things he never do b4, stupid stuff, but helping me none the less. And the little things are what matter...to me anyway. And last night I stayed at his house, and he helped a lot with angel, and shes sick on top of it which made it a lot harder for him I know.
As stupid as this sounds, I think I fell in love with him all over again. Bleh wtf is wrong with me? ...Because now Im crying cuz of what 17 months go, when he left me. I mean honestly I so dont wanna be with someone who could leave his preg gf (at the time) and hes own kid...AND GET DRUNK and cheat on me. I mean we've dated since, but idk about him, but Ive been kinda like eh w-e about it, like I never actually cared any of these times we've been together (bri if u read this, im being honest and you know it anyhow prolli) cuz idk since he like really cheated on me and ignored his kid for months Ive hated him, been talking to him, trying not to hate him, but quite frankly I hated him. I mean if he loved me, he wouldnt excuse me...even couldnt have left me, and come on he couldnt have felt bad about it, he wouldnt take months to come back, a week maybe id forgive him, but i could never forgive him, even as much as i love him right now.
But the past few weeks idk, well the past few days Ive only wanted to be with him, and i was there last night, but tonight I found out he doesnt want me there......
he says he has stuff he has to do...but brians known for excuses, so yeah
im so glad i tossed all my blades sooo glad
PS PLZ DONT COMMENT ON THIS ENTRY, I FEEL SHITTY ENOUGH