oh person person!
so after all the crap i ate the last 2 days i decided to fast. i will let my self have vita water and regular water and see how it goes. in the past after i do this i feel amazing. its really wierd over the last week whenever i see bad foods i dont even want them. work is my worst temptation. customers always bring us sees candy and make us cookies and cakes.. and normaly i just allow my self to eat whatever i want of it. but ive realized me being sick for 2 months is a sign. my body is trying to tell me i need to slow down and get some better foods in my system. im almost 24 and i dont want to end up on some special on tlc at 35 about how i weigh 800lbs and they have to buy a special scale just for me.. god damn i want to have kids and be able to chase them. dont get me wrong im no where near this morbid obesity but i just know how quick it can all happen. and stepping on the scale and seeing the numbers drop is really encouraging me.
today im going to take miss eunice and go to some thrift stores. i kinda want to go to santa maria but we will see how much time we have. i really need a nice bench or something for my living room.
last night i went over to eunic's house and then all of a sudden couldnt remember turning off the stove. like i was sure it was off but i couldnt remember physicaly doing it. all i could think about was mine and matthews stuff on fire and gangster being traped in this burning house. in short we went to my house just to check and it was infact on.. not on high but it was on warm. sometimes i try and tell my self that these thoughts i have are crazy.. me being sick for 2 months is because i have some form of cancer.. me thinking that someone is going to walk in my house and shot me and the dog and matthew will just have to come home and deal with it.. matthew getting hit when he rides his bike hrom from work. all of these are crazy.. but... sometimes they can become reality. the world is such a unpredictable place.
im going to go to the park and read for a while.
xoxNico
today im going to take miss eunice and go to some thrift stores. i kinda want to go to santa maria but we will see how much time we have. i really need a nice bench or something for my living room.
last night i went over to eunic's house and then all of a sudden couldnt remember turning off the stove. like i was sure it was off but i couldnt remember physicaly doing it. all i could think about was mine and matthews stuff on fire and gangster being traped in this burning house. in short we went to my house just to check and it was infact on.. not on high but it was on warm. sometimes i try and tell my self that these thoughts i have are crazy.. me being sick for 2 months is because i have some form of cancer.. me thinking that someone is going to walk in my house and shot me and the dog and matthew will just have to come home and deal with it.. matthew getting hit when he rides his bike hrom from work. all of these are crazy.. but... sometimes they can become reality. the world is such a unpredictable place.
im going to go to the park and read for a while.
xoxNico