Title: Tragedy Bound
Author:
wofl_ironRating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: Sam/Andy
Word Count: 1,061
Summary: If this is it, Andy has one thing to do before he goes.
Notes: Set during AHBL Part 1. Written for
celtic_cookie who requested Sam/Andy. <33 Angstastic.
It's hard to be alive in a town that reeks of death. Surrounded by skeleton buildings and creaky remnants of haunted pasts; it's too quiet, here. Spooky. Ominous. Like fate has sunk her teeth in and this is it. This is what has been planned all along. You live or die here and either way, someone is going to bite it.
You just have to pray it's not you and really, you can't do any more than that.
Maybe the helplessness of it all is what makes it worse. Sitting there in the dark, trapped in a town the world forgot and left behind, utterly clueless.
Andy has never been a pessimist. He's never swung like that, despite having swung a lot of ways. He's a realist, sure, and he knows they're floundering here, and some serious shit has just rocked his world. But mostly, Andy looks on the bright side of things, always manages to find that silver lining. Right now, he's thinking that at least he's got a friend watching his back. He's not alone, and he's still got hope.
That's mostly thanks to Sam. Sam, who's huge and impending when he's fending off a friggen demon. Sam, who's protective and gentle when Ava clutches at him like it's the end of the world. Hell, it could be the end of the world for all they know. But Sam still reassures them all every half hour or so that things are going to be okay. Things will work out, they'll figure out what to do. Even if that Lily girl is dead already, and things don't look any better now then they did when he woke up, lost and alone. Sam keeps them calm, keeps Andy calm.
Andy kind of wishes Sam would hug him like that.
Christ, he could use some weed.
There's no weed here, unfortunately. His bag was left behind with the rest of his life in Oklahoma. There's nothing here but the stark reality of their fate. They are the chosen children. Chosen for what, they still don't know. Why them? That's even less clear. The only thing they know for sure is that this is the last stop, and even Andy is beginning to feel the weight of his own mortality.
"You okay?" The voice comes up behind him, out of nowhere. Andy realizes he's shaking. Of course Sam would notice something like that even before Andy did. Sam's almost disturbingly observant. Andy wonders what kind of life would make someone so hyper-aware of their surroundings like that.
Andy wonders a lot of things about Sam.
Most prominent at the moment being what it would feel like to press up against him, let Sam's huge frame shield him from the hopelessness that threatens to swallow them whole.
"Andy?" Worry, now; concern. Andy realizes he's been staring up at him dumbly for at least a couple of minutes now.
"Yeah," he chokes out, hastily. "I'm fine."
He quirks his mouth to the side, a sharp bark of laughter rising from his throat. It's grotesque and out of place in the somber lamplight of the room, like a memory too painful to dredge up. "It's just..."
He takes a breath. He thinks of his van, his books, Tracy. He thinks of the life he's built and lost; been ripped away from. He thinks of creatures that lurk in the dark, that have been there all along while he was oblivious. Demons. He thinks of being able to control thoughts; knows now that his gift is a curse. Perspective is the key. He's been looking down the wrong end of the kaleidescope, and maybe he could have been better prepared, maybe he could have avoided all this.
He thinks of waking up earlier, alone and lost. He remembers how much of a relief it was, that the first person he'd found was Sam. Holding a two-by-four and coming this close to bashing his head in, perhaps, but that aside, familiar and trustworthy. He thinks of Sam now; how he seems to know more than the rest of them, but keeps his lips pressed into thin lines and doesn't let his secrets slip.
He thinks about how maybe, this could be it. This could be the end for him. As scary as that is, Andy's glad that he's not alone. He doesn't want it to be, God, he doesn't; but delusion is a fool's game. Courage is facing the truth and forging ahead despite of it, laughing in its face.
Andy thinks that maybe by the morning, he'll be dead, but he's still breathing right now and that's all the more reason not to give a flying fuck anymore.
He looks up at Sam, who blinks back at him, waiting patiently for him to continue. Andy swallows hard, the line of his throat bobbing, and he gives it a few more seconds for his entire being to just settle. And when everything is quiet and still and thrumming with the consideration that there might be nothing else after this, he takes the plunge.
Steps right off the deep end and grabs the back of Sam's neck, pulling the taller man down to meet him in a kiss. He doesn't ask permission, just takes what he needs. Sam makes a startled grunt, but Andy forges ahead; presses his tongue to the seal of Sam's lips, begging access.
But Sam's pulling away, straightening up to his full height, looking imposing and confused all at once. "Andy, what--"
Sam doesn't even bother to finish the thought, just furrows his brow and touches a finger to his lips, still watching Andy with eyes that feel like they're burning holes through him. Andy smiles up at him sheepishly, one hand lifting to scratch at the back of his head. "Look, I don't know what's going on, but I think maybe we're gonna die here." He laughs, harsh and humorless as the words. It's hard, saying that out loud. "And if that's true, well, no way I'm kicking the bucket without getting laid first."
Instantly, Sam goes still and quiet, eyes dark. "No one's dying," he says resolutely, but Andy's pushed past the denial and he can hear the desperation in that statement. Sam's trying to convince himself as much as he's trying to convince Andy.
"Yeah, well," Andy mumbles, shrugging noncommittally. He reaches up again and pulls Sam back down towards him. Surprisingly, Sam comes willingly.
"Just in case," Andy says. This time, Sam kisses him back.