I can't live with or without you

Nov 26, 2005 02:00

The day was more like three separate days.

There was the day with Christopher, which was fantastic. Fantastic. For a slew of reasons I won't go into. But I love him very much. (And again, love, I'm really sorry. Seriously. Really sorry.)

There was the day at work, which was...a day at work. I avoided working and tried to get everything clean at the same time, and neither are possible alone forget about combining them.

There was the day with Steven. Which hurt. Really, really hurt. Still hurts. But we just...we can't do anything else. I still have that feeling that this isn't it. And maybe that's because it's still so strange. I don't know. I just really, really don't know. But it does hurt. And for once, I don't think it was the wrong or habitual thing to do. (And again, love...I'm sorry. I am. And I love you. But we can't. I can't. It's not what you want it to be. It's not even what you think it is. But i'm sorry. And if it makes you feel any better...we both hurt. And i know that. And i love you. And i'm sorry.)
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